User:The Flaming Sword of Fury/RR Chapter 5

“Last time on the Ridonculous Race: Our teams got chummy with sharks, some more than others. Once they finished making castles in the sand, it was a boat race from the Mediterranean to the coast of Iceland. It looked like last place belonged to the Surfers, but it was the Geniuses who choked on their own massive brains and got eliminated. Who will choke on their brains this week, there’s zero chance of it being me! Ready to kick it? Good, because it’s time for: The Ridonculous Race!”

(theme song plays)

“Welcome back to Iceland where today’s starting line is yesterday’s chill zone! First to leave will be the Ice Dancers!”

The Ice Dancers hit the Don Box and receive their tip which read, “Take a bus to the geyser field and locate the Don Box!”

“The geysers of Skaftafell are part of an active volcano field tucked under a skimpy 20-centimeter layer of siliceous sinter. I have no idea what that is, but I have been informed that it is indeed dangerous.” Don said.

(Team Interview: Jacques and Josee)

“Coming in first has given us a taste of that oh so sweet gold! We hope to be on the top of the podium from here on out!” Josee said.

“I love the taste of gold in the morning!” Jacques exclaimed.

(Team Interview Over)

The two Ice Dancers were rushing to the bus, hoping to make it before the other teams.

“Come on Josee!” Jacques exclaimed, “We have to hurry!” The two stopped in front of a bus stop, and much to Jacques’ surprise, there was no bus.

“Darn it! We’re going to lose our lead!” Jacques said. They heard footsteps and turned around to see the other teams that were in the top 6, to which they gave a sigh of annoyance.

“Don’t even THINK about getting on the bus before us! We’re in first, meaning we deserve the best!” They exclaimed together.

“Don’t tell me what to do! You can’t stop me from thinking!” MacArthur said.

“Oh yeah?” They said.

“Yeah!” She replied. While they were arguing, the bus had arrived, and the other 4 teams quickly raced on. The Ice Dancers gasped at the sight of this and ran on, but just as Josee was stepping on the bus she turned to MacArthur and said, “Mark my words, you brutish cadet, this isn’t over yet!”

MacArthur rolled her eyes at her and said, “Yeah yeah, just get on the bus! Come on Sanders!” She dragged her partner onto the bus with her. The entire ride, Jacques and Josee had their arms folded and were pouting in annoyance.

“Our first bus heads off with the first 6 teams as another team gets psyched up, but for some the fear and panic is apparent!” Don said pointing to the goths. He started to get annoyed and said, “FEAR AND PANIC, I said!”

The goths continued to blink before Ennui spoke up, “I think he wants us to act afraid.”

“Don’t buy into it, openly expressing fear boosts ratings, and that’s the opposite of what we want to do.” Crimson said flatly.

“Um, I’m right here!” Don said.

“Oh...right, ahhhhh.” Ennui flatly screamed.

“SPIDERS!” Mickey screamed sitting on Jay’s head pointing to a random spider.

(Team Interview: Mickey and Jay)

“Luckily, I’m only mildly afraid of spiders, you should see me around werewolves!” Mickey said.

(Team Interview Over)

As Mickey and Jay stood still due to the former’s fear of spiders, the other teams raced to grab their travel tips. As Laurie was running on the dock, she unintentionally squished the spider that caused Mickey’s terror. Despite this, she continued to race on, and was still unaware when she hit the Don Box and grabbed the Vegans’ next travel tip.

(Team Interview: Laurie and Miles)

“I’m so proud of our team, we’ve managed to prove that we CAN get far in the race without hurting anyone, or anything!” Laurie said.

“Yeah, it’s crazy to think we’ve been mostly near the bottom of the pack though. But, I’m certain our luck will turn up someday!” Miles cheered.

“I agree, we just have to keep our heads held high and keep doing what we’re doing: simple as that!” Laurie said.

(Team Interview Over)

The first bus had arrived in Iceland, with the Cadets immediately running off the bus towards the Don Box. Sanders pressed it and grabbed their next travel tip.

“It’s an All-In!” Sanders started, “Broken Icelandic telephone?”

“In this all in, teams will have to listen to an Icelandic phrase by holding down the button on this speaker box. The phrase is, ‘Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending’, which directly translates to ‘Please give me my travel tip’. They must then race through this field of geothermal hot springs and recite the phrase to this nice Icelandic lady that is standing next to me, “Don said pointing to a raven haired woman with a dress resembling a swan, “Once they get it correct, she will give them their next travel tip!”

“Open your ears!” MacArthur said, she pressed the button and listened to the phrase. Once it was finished, MacArthur and Sanders immediately moved on, and Dwayne and Junior ran over to the speaker box.

“Press it!” Junior said. “No need kiddo! Your old man’s got a pretty good memory, so we should be good!”

(Team Interview: Dwayne and Junior) “My mind is a steel trap! Once I know something, it sticks!” Dwayne said confidently.

“Really? When’s my birthday?” Junior asked.

“Summer?” Dwayne started, Junior was about to reply before Dwayne laughed and said, “Nah, I’m kidding, it’s October. I could never forget the birth of my own son, haha!”

(Team Interview Over)

“6 more teams have boarded the bus, heading towards the geyser field leaving 3 other teams that have yet to begin racing!” Don said. As he spoke, a few of the teams had started to race through the field to reach the Icelandic lady. Dwayne and Junior were surprised by one of the geysers shooting up water.

“Just follow my lead son.” Dwayne said. “The only thing that matters is timing, if we do that, soon we’ll be meeting that beautiful swan lady.”

“Ummm…” Junior looked at the camera, “You do know mom is watching this, right?”

Dwayne looked at the camera with wide eyes and chuckled nervously, “Ahaha! That’s right! Um, I love you and miss you honey! Mwah!” He blew a kiss towards the screen. They then proceeded to jump over the now empty geyser before it suddenly activated again and shot them up towards the sky.

After bus number 2 had unloaded with some more teams, the last 3 were barely just starting to race. However due to Brody still being incapacitated due to constantly shocking himself during the last leg, Geoff found himself having to carry him.

(Team Interview: Geoff and Brody)

“Starting out in last place is tough enough as it is. But with my partner being in the state that he is...well it’s a bummer to say the least. I will pull through though, no biggie! I’ll just have to do double the work for the both of us, right bro?” Geoff looked at Brody who did not give a response.

Geoff chuckled at his own insensitivity and said, “Ah, I forgot, you can’t talk! Sorry dude!”

(Team Interview Over)

The Ice Dancers gracefully danced through the geyser field, once they got to the end they leapt over to the local Swan Lady and Josee said with elegance, “Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending!” The Swan Lady smiled and graciously handed the duo their next tip.

“Take the helicopter to Skaftafell National Park and find the next Don Box!” Josee read. Unfortunately for the duo, they found out only once they got to the helicopter that it would only depart once 6 teams were on it.

“Not AGAIN!” Josee huffed in anger.

“We’re going to lose our lead!” Jacques said dramatically.

Back at the bus station, Devin was currently shivering due to the cold, “Oooo I’m freezing. This reminds me of the time Shelly locked me out of the car because I found the wrong tea.” Carrie gasped and looked at him with wide eyes.

“You got frostbite and nearly lost three toes because of that? You said it was because you lost your keys!” Carrie said.

“Yeah, but we’re good now! Shelly said it was just a big misunderstanding, so no harm done!” Devin said. Carrie gave him a worried look but said nothing.

Dwayne and Junior on the other hand, had finally managed to reach the Swan Lady. Dwayne insisted on reciting the phrase and said, “Vensamseleleguest gifa mer trinkel...uh” He scratched his head, stumped.

“You know, your language is pretty silly...you gotta admit.” Dwayne said, much to her unamusement. She gave them a thumbs down, sending Dwayne and Junior back to the speaker box.

(Team Interview: Dwayne and Junior) “I can’t be expected to learn something I hear only ONCE!” Dwayne said, folding his arms. “Oh, come on!” Junior said with an exasperated look on his face.

(Team Interview Over)

In contrast to Dwayne’s mistake, Laurie recited the Icelandic phrase perfectly. Once she was finished, the Swan Lady beamed and handed them their next tip.

“Yay, thanks!” Laurie said, smiling.

(Team Interview: Laurie and Miles)

“I had to get that phrase right! I didn’t want to be culturally insensitive like that last guy was.” Laurie said.

“Yeah, insensitivity is what causes wars to start.” Miles said.

“And war is bad!” Laurie said, to which Miles nodded in agreement.

(Team Interview Over)

Meanwhile, several other teams were still making their way through the field. Sanders had jumped into a geyser and was shot up in the air. Once the geyser stopped, she landed on the ground. MacArthur looked at her and simply shrugged before picking her up and carrying her. Jen and Tom were also not having much luck, with Jen screaming in terror as she ran through the geyser field causing the camera screen to crack.

(Team Interview: Tom and Jen)

“Geysers are hot water! This top, is cold wash only! No one told me there’d be real danger!” Jen exclaimed, with Tom putting a protective hand on her shoulder.

(Team Interview Over)

Oddly enough, when the Twins were hit with the hot water from the geyser, they simply sighed in relaxation and seemed genuinely content.

(Team Interview: Mickey and Jay)

“Salt water helps Mickey’s eczema, it’s one of the few things that’s he’s not terrified of or allergic to!” Jay said.

“Yeah, it really calms me down. I used to like going to the beach simply just to be around salt water.” Mickey said.

(Team Interview Over)

The Goths had finally managed to get to the Swan Lady before they stopped in front of a waiting Taylor.

“Are you finished yet?” Ennui asked.

Taylor simply glared at him and said, “No, I’m just waiting for my loser mom to hurry up. She got the phrase wrong and I forced her to go back and listen to it again!”

“Oh...so, can we go?” Crimson asked. Taylor looked at them annoyed, but obediently got out of the Goths way so they could complete the challenge. Crimson perfectly recited the phrase to the Icelandic lady much to the surprise of Taylor.

(Team Interview: Crimson and Ennui)

“Most of our favorite bands are Icelandic, so yeah, we speak the language.” Crimson explained.

(Team Interview Over)

Dwayne and Junior finally reached the speaker box again and Dwayne held the button down with his chin, panting heavily.

(Team Interview: Dwayne and Junior)

“This time, I’ll remember it, I swear!” Dwayne said, to which Junior sighed in response.

“What?” Dwayne asked. “Her Gucci dress distracted me, that’s all!”

(Team Interview Over)

“I had the first half of the sentence, you had the second! All you had to do was get it right doofus!” Chet said, fighting with his brother.

“Other way around, butt brain!” Lorenzo yelled. The two nearly started fighting, before the Swan Lady pushed them both to the ground.

(Team Interview: Chet and Lorenzo)

“That chick totally digged me…. did you see the way she looked at me?” Chet said with a dreamy expression.

“No, she looked at you as if you were a nutjob! Which you are, by the way!” Lorenzo said.

“Oh, shut up, you’re just jealous that the ladies all love the Chet man!” Chet said pointing to himself.

“Not a chance!” Lorenzo shoved Chet again, and the two began fighting. (Team Interview Over)

Tom and Jen walked up to the Swan Lady with an unhappy expression painted on both of their faces. However, that changed once Jen glanced at the lady and gasped in excitement.

“Oh my gosh! Is that an original Petroki, fierce! It doesn’t hurt that you totally have the bod to pull it off!” Jen beamed. The Swan Lady blushed and handed them their travel tip.

“Whoa, wait? Really, but don’t we have to recite the phrase first?” Jen said with a look of joy and surprise on her face. The Swan Lady giggled and whispered something into Jen’s ear.

“You’ll do that? Wow...that’s awful sweet of you. Thanks again!” Jen said. She noticed that the Swan Lady had given her a slip of paper alongside the tip and looked at her quizzically.

The Swan Lady winked and said, “That’s...for later.” Jen was shocked before turning to Tom with a curious expression on her face, the two then walked off.

After the Bloggers had gotten on the plane, there was only room for 2 more teams to get on the plane. Geoff and Brody listened to the phrase and raced off, while Kelly had finally managed to listen to the Icelandic phrase again. Owen and Noah on the other hand, had reached the Swan Lady but had failed at their first attempt to recite the phrase. After them, MacArthur ran up to the Swan Lady and recited the phrase perfectly. She grabbed the tip and smiled at Sanders, who reciprocated.

Ryan and Stephanie had finally managed to get to the Swan Lady who was slightly intimidated by Ryan’s size.

(Team Interview: Ryan and Stephanie)

“I took the first half, and Steph took the second half.” Ryan said, placing a hand on Stephanie’s shoulder.

“We share everything together...except french fries! If he ever touches my fries, he IS A DEAD MAN!” Stephanie exclaimed, to which Ryan jumped back in fright.

(Team Interview Over)

“Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina-” Ryan started.

“Travel ablending.” Stephanie said, mispronouncing her half of the sentence. They were given a thumbs down by the lady and both sulked in disappointment.

(Team Interview: Ryan and Stephanie)

“Aww, baby, it’s not your fault. You just messed up.” Ryan said.

“No, you don’t let me down, I don’t let you down! There should be NO MISTAKES! EVER! That’s what love is!” Stephanie said.

(Team Interview Over)

“Vinsamlegast gefa uh….” Emma trailed off nervously.

“Mer mina travel abending!” Kitty finished perfectly, the Swan Lady nodded in approval and gave them their tip.

“Hey, you interrupted me!” Emma barked at Kitty.

“But I got it right, I saw you struggling and I was trying to help!” Kitty defended.

“Well, next time you try to help, don’t bother ok! I can’t risk having you screw things up for us like you always do!” Emma shouted. Kitty frowned but nodded. After that, the two ran onto the helicopter and were the last team to board the first helicopter. After a while, the helicopter landed in the national park and the 6 teams raced towards the Don Box. Jacques and Josee were the first to reach it, Jacques pressed the button and grabbed the tip.

“It’s an Either/Or: Feast or Fossil.” Jacques read.

“In this Either/Or: Teams must either choose to dine on traditional Icelandic foods or they must find and retrieve one of the intact fossils embedded in the icy walls of this ice cave! Once they finish either task, they must meet me here at today’s chill zone with either their empty platter or fossil. The last team to meet me here may be cut from the race!” Don said.

Jacques and Josee immediately took the option of digging for fossils and ran into the cave with their usual creepy grins on their faces, with Emma and Kitty following them. Crimson and Ennui on the other hand had decided to eat the feast. They saw the other 3 teams grab their pickaxes and run into the cave before walking off into the other direction.

(Team Interview: Crimson and Ennui)

“We saw the other teams pick fossil, so we didn’t because...whatever.” Crimson said.

(Team Interview Over)

The two walked over to the banquet table and took off the lid covering the platter to reveal a load of rather odd-looking food.

“This feast consists of: putrefied shark, pickled herring, cured ram, broiled puffin, and singed sheep head.” Don narrated.

The two exchanged glances and shrugged, before beginning to eat their meal. Meanwhile, Mickey and Jay had finally managed to get their trip, while Rock was having a hard time reciting his.

“Vinsamlegast gefa mer uh…Spud you gotta help me!” Rock said, much to his dismay, Spud simply looked at him nonchalantly.

“That was like, forever ago dude!” Spud said. Rock sighed in annoyance and tried to remember.

“Hmmm…. vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending?” He said quizzically. He was shocked but happy when he got it right and cheered. He grabbed the tip and ran off.

“Wait for me dude!” Spud said, following him. After them, the Best Friends went up to the Swan Lady and Devin recited the phrase correctly, which earned them their travel tip. The two high fived each other in celebration and ran towards the helicopter. The Father and Son followed right after them.

“Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina-” Junior started

“Travel asdenting!” Dwayne said, which earned him a slap from the Swan Lady.

(Team Interview: Dwayne and Junior)

“What did you say to her?” Junior asked.

“I have virtually no idea, but it must have been pretty insulting.” Dwayne said holding an ice pack to his chin.

(Team Interview Over)

The Stepbrothers looked hopefully at the Swan Lady after they had finished reciting the phrase, luckily for them, she smiled and gave them the tip. Lorenzo cheered and snatched the tip out of Chet’s hand. Meanwhile, as Emma was working on getting the fossil out, Kitty simply took a selfie of herself in the cave, with a frozen Sasquatchanakwa smiling behind her.

“Can you not do that right now?” Emma said.

“Sorry, you told me not to help! I’m just doing whatever you say!” Kitty said.

“Ugh…” Emma groaned. Tom and Jen on the other hand were trying not to slip on the ice, they saw the Ice Dancers perfectly glide across it and looked on in awe. They also saw MacArthur break a fossil using her pickaxe. “Wow, who would’ve thought something that’d been around for a million years could be so fragile?” MacArthur said in amazement, much to Sander’s annoyance. On the other hand, Laurie and Miles were using a different technique to get their fossil out.

(Team Interview: Laurie and Miles)

“We decided to free the fossil using Reiki energy. We just have to be super careful.” Miles said.

“Yeah, we want to free the fossil, not bring it back to life.” Laurie said.

(Team Interview Over)

After the RTV Pros had successfully recited their phrase and got their tip, Kelly ran to the Swan Lady panting, and looking tired.

“There you are! What took you so long?!” Taylor barked, but Kelly ignored her.

“Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending.” Kelly panted, the Swan Lady nodded, and Kelly smiled in relief as she received her tip.

“Wow, it’s about time you got SOMETHING right!” Taylor said. Kelly looked annoyed at her and ran off.

“What, that was a compliment! Don’t take it so personally!” Taylor said. The last team to arrive after the Mom and Daughter was the Surfer Dudes.

“Ok...this will keep it intact! Help me get it to the chill zone!” Emma said. Kitty just kept taking selfies.

“Come on Kitty! This is childish!” Emma barked.

“Again, I’m just doing what you asked!” Kitty said. Emma just glared at her and sighed in frustration, she started pushing the ice block by herself and Kitty kept taking selfies. Unfortunately for Dwayne, he was still having trouble saying the phrase, specifically the last part. After his last failed attempt at saying “travel abending” he started smashing his head against the ground. However, Stephanie and Ryan had successfully managed to say the phrase and had received their tip.

“Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! Fist bump!” Stephanie bumped a fist into Ryan’s chest, who let out a tiny yelp of pain. The two of them then raced off towards the helicopter. After they got on, the helicopter transported them to the national park, and the next 7 teams chose their tasks. When Dwayne and Junior got to the Swan Lady again, Junior placed a hand over Dwayne’s mouth and correctly recited the phrase to the Swan Lady, who smiled and handed them their tip.

(Team Interview: Dwayne and Junior)

“We were already so far behind, I couldn’t risk having dad...I mean us screwing it up again!” Junior said.

“Aha, you were going to say ‘dad’ as in me, oh, well I’m insulted! I see how it is Junior!” Dwayne said.

(Team Interview Over)

Upon seeing the food that had been chosen for the “feast” task, Taylor and Kelly looked as if they were about to puke.

“You know what, we’re going to do fossil instead!” Taylor demanded.

“Yeah...right behind you honey.” Kelly said. The two walked over to do the “fossil” task and had grabbed their pickaxes, before Taylor’s had been stolen by Dwayne who was hurrying towards the mines.

“Slow down dad, it’s super icy!” Junior warned.

“Don’t worry about me son, I’ll be fine!” Dwayne called, before slipping on the ice and hitting a rock. He let out a yelp of pain and looked up to see a pickaxe coming at him. Fortunately, it didn’t hit him, but it did hit the rock he landed on, causing it to break. The Mom and Daughter had witnessed this and dropped their pickaxes in shock.

(Team Interview: Kelly and Taylor)

“If you had a face as Chipotle as mine, would you want it hit with an ice pick? NO! We’ll eat the feast, I don’t care how disgusting it is!” Taylor said.

(Team Interview Over)

Meanwhile, Geoff was currently trying to feed Brody a part of the Icelandic feast. He was still in a state of shock but had managed to chew and swallow his portion of the meal.

“See, you’re doing better!” Geoff said.

“Hey, Spud! You gotta eat the feast, it’s a team challenge!” Rock said to his unaware partner, who was wearing his headphones. He took them off and looked at what Rock was offering.

“Meh, no thanks. I’ll pass!” Spud said. Rock got annoyed and started shoveling food into Spud’s mouth. Crimson and Ennui, however, had managed to finish their food and started to walk towards the chill zones with empty platters in hand.

“Wow, I’m impressed! First place goes to the goths!” Don said as the Goths walked on the chill zone with their platters intact. He saw their lack of emotion and said, “You’re the winners! You won! Woohoo! …Are you trying to ruin the show, is that it? Get out of here!” The Goths simply walked away with their empty platters and he looked on, disgruntled.

(Team Interview: Crimson and Ennui)

“Wow, first place, that’s so amazing. I’m so excited I could wet myself.” Ennui said flatly.

“You just did.” Crimson said, looking down at Ennui’s crotch.

(Team Interview Over)

“First place is taken, but last place is still up for grabs and nobody wants it!” Don said. As he was talking, Ryan and Stephanie had grabbed a piece of the feast that looked like a noodle. They both held up one end of the food and started slurping it. Once they both reached the end of their portion of the feast, their lips touched, and they started making out again. Kelly and Taylor witnessed this, and Kelly barfed.

“Don’t think, just eat the food! Imagine it as like, a meatball or something.” Noah said.

“Yeah, a very odd-looking meatball!” Owen said. He closed his eyes and ate one of the eyeballs. Noah took the other and popped it in his mouth.

“Second place!” Don called to the Fashion Bloggers who ran onto the mat. They cheered and hugged each other.

“Normally, I’d give you a penalty for not specifically completing the task the proper way. But the Swan Lady did give me a call and said you DID earn your tip, by what she means, I’m not sure. But be warned, you won’t be so lucky next time.” He warned the two bloggers who nodded in understanding. The two ran off the mat with their intact fossil, making way for the next team.

“Third place!” He called to the Ice Dancers, who wore their signature creepy grins. Noah and Owen followed them, with Noah holding his stomach.

“Fourth place!” He called them. The two boys cheered, and Owen squeezed Noah, accidentally crushing him.

After the Fashion Bloggers had checked in, Jen took a glance on the little slip of paper the Swan Lady had given her to read after they had finished the leg. She read it over and her face grew red.

Tom took notice of this and asked, “What’s wrong, Jen?” She handed him the note and after he looked it over, his face grew red as well.

“Wow…” He started, “That swan lady sure has taken a liking to you…”

“Yeah…you think I should do it?” Jen asked. Tom simply shrugged and said, “If you want to, Jen. No pressure.”

After he said those words, Jen immediately bolted, passing the carpet of completion in the process. Don was about to call after her before Tom said, “Don’t worry, my partner will be back! She’s just taking care of some…business.”

“Fine, but if she’s not here by the time you two need to depart, you’ll be penalized for sure!” Don said. Tom simply nodded in understanding and walked off the mat.

Back at the ice cave, MacArthur was just about to hit a fossil with the pickaxe before Sanders grabbed it out her hand, and hit the ice carefully making sure not to damage the fossil. Meanwhile, the Vegans had managed to get their fossil, but had decided to stop to thank the fossil spirits.

(Team Interview: Laurie and Miles)

“We have to honor fossil spirits, one day we will be fossils too!” Laurie said. (Team Interview Over)

They closed their eyes and unbeknownst to them, their fossil slid down the slope and stopped right where Dwayne and Junior were searching. At one point, Miles opened her eyes, and she gasped in shock when she saw that their fossil was missing.

“What’s wrong?” Laurie opened her eyes and asked Miles.

“Our fossil has gone missing! It couldn’t have gone too far, come on Laurie!” Miles said, she grabbed Laurie by the hand and dragged her off into the direction the fossil slid.

“Fifth place!” Don said as Geoff and Brody ran up to the mat. Geoff gave Brody a fistbump but got a little shock in the first place.

“Whoa man, don’t get too excited.” He chuckled.

“Oh yes keep making out, it won’t get old any time soon.” The camera cut to Don staring at the Daters annoyed.

“By the way, you’re sixth place. In case you care.” Don said.

Kelly and Taylor ran up to Don with their platter intact, he smiled and said, “You’re in seventh, or at least you would be if not for this one-hour penalty!”

“What, you can’t do that!” Taylor said.

“Oh, but I can, you and Kelly both were supposed to go back and listen to the phrase after getting it wrong, only Kelly went back.” Don explained.

“Ughhhh this is so unfair!” Taylor whined. She and Kelly both stepped off the mat and waited for their penalty to end.

(Team Interview: Kelly and Taylor)

“I sat around waiting for you, and now we get a penalty! You RUIN my life!” Taylor said.

(Team Interview Over)

Over at the ice cave, Dwayne and Junior were searching for their fossil, Junior saw something out of the corner of his eye and walked over to it.

“Dad I found a fossil!” Junior said.

“Good, give it here!” Dwayne said.

“Something’s wrong though, how did it end up here…” Junior said.

“Never mind that sport! We got a fossil!” Dwayne grabbed it and dashed off with Junior following him. The Vegans walked over to where the Father and Son previously were and looked worried.

“Oh no…where on earth could it have gone too?” Laurie said.

“It couldn’t have gone too far…so bizarre.” Miles said.

“Well, let’s not give up hope yet, we still need something to bring to Don…but what?” Laurie said.

“It’s not like we can Reiki another fossil quick enough…that last one took at least 10 minutes.” Miles pointed out.

“Hmm, right, but who knows. Maybe we should keep looking.” Laurie said. Miles nodded hesitantly but followed Laurie as she continued walking through the cave.

“Seventh place!” Don announced to the Best Friends, who highfived each other in celebration. Dwayne slid the fossil onto the mat and was called eighth. Immediately afterwards he heard footsteps and a voice call, “HOLD IT, THAT’S OUR FOSSIL!”

He turned and saw the Vegans run up to him looking angry. Junior looked guilty and admitted, “I knew something was wrong…”

Dwayne sighed and shifted his fossil towards the Vegans and said, “Fine…you can have it!”

“Hold it! Dwayne brought this fossil to the mat, you two will either have to find another fossil or switch tasks!” Don said.

The Vegans gave Dwayne a dirty look, with Laurie even getting up into Dwayne’s face and yelling, “THE GODDESS OF KARMA WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!”

(Team Interview: Laurie and Miles)

“Normally, I’m very big about spreading positive emotions to the point I don’t even let myself experience the opposite. But…I’m sure my aura is very very purple right now!” Laurie said angrily.

(Team Interview Over)

(Team Interview: Dwayne and Junior)

“Not the first time I’ve been cursed, lucky for me, I don’t believe in curses. Haha!” Dwayne said.

(Team Interview Over)

“So…what do we do now? Like I said earlier, it’d take to long to Reiki another fossil…” Miles said.

“Well, I guess in that case our only other option would be…to eat the feast.” Laurie said with reluctance in her voice.

“WAIT WHAT?! Laurie, you can’t be serious!” Miles exclaimed.

“Miles, we don’t have any other choice, either we stomach eating meat for just ONE meal or we lose the game…I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.” Laurie said. Miles looked hesitant but nodded in understanding. She and Laurie ran towards the banquet table and lifted the lid. They saw the food and looked sick.

“Ok…let’s do this!” Laurie said. Miles nervously glanced at her and nodded. They started to slowly chew their meal, all while crying.

“Ninth!” Don called as Chet and Lorenzo walked on the mat. After them, Emma finally managed to get her fossil on the mat and was called tenth.

“Impressive, but you do know you could’ve just used a pickaxe to break it out right?” Don said.

“I wanted to preserve it better! No thanks to my sister of course.” Emma said, pointing to Kitty who was still taking selfies on her phone.

“This is all your fault Mom! You can’t just let me do whatever you want, you have to like take charge!” Taylor said.

“Okay, from now on, anything I say goes!” Kelly declared.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Taylor said. Kelly just gave her a blank stare. Meanwhile, the Rockers and Vegans were currently the only ones left at the banquet table. Rock was still eating his food, while Spud was still just listening to his headphones.

Spud opened one eye, lifted up his headphones and said, “You gotta eat faster! The vegans are beating us man.”

“Me! They’re beating me!” Rock corrected Spud. Spud simply shrugged and continued jamming out on his headphones. He had his eyes closed before Rock once again shoved food into his mouth.

“You’re eleventh!” Don called to MacArthur and Sanders when they ran on the mat. The remaining teams at the banquet table were starting to finish their meal finally. Rock looked at the rest of the meal, disgusted, but continued to eat anyway. “Intestines? People actually eat these?” Rock said holding up a fleshy, noodle like piece of food. This caused the Vegans to only cry harder to which Rock said, “Oops, sorry!”

(Team Interview: Rock and Spud)

“Eating that meal was so disgusting…it was the hardest thing to do. Scratch math and getting my driver’s license, eating eyeballs and all that stuff was just…the worst!” Rock said, clutching his stomach in pain.

(Team Interview Over)

(Team Interview: Laurie and Miles)

“I can’t believe we did that! There are animals inside me right now and I’m pretty sure they don’t want us to come in last!” Laurie said.

“Mine wants out right nooow!” Miles moaned.

(Team Interview Over)

“Twelfth! You live to see another day!” Don said to the Twins when they got to the mat. The two of them cheered joyfully and ran off the mat.

“Come on, our penalty has to be up by now!” Taylor complained.

“Not yet. Oh, and here they come!” Don said. Taylor and Kelly whipped around to see the Rockers and Vegans both approaching the mat with empty platters in hand. They shifted their eyes back and forth worriedly before their penalty was finally up and they leapt on the mat.

“Thirteenth!” Don said to the Mom and Daughter. Kelly sighed in relief while Taylor smirked. The Rockers jumped on the mat after them and were called fourteenth. The Vegans sulked as they got on the mat.

“Just give us the news Don…” Laurie said.

“Well my little meat-eating vegans…you’re in last place…” Don started.

(Team Interview: Laurie and Miles)

“Animals…I just ate so many animals…all for nothing.” Laurie looked on traumatized.

“What are we going to do now, Laurie?” Miles asked.

“I…don’t…know.” Laurie said.

(Team Interview Over)

“This means you would be going home…if this wasn’t a non-elimination round!” Don cheered.

“Whaaaat?” Laurie exclaimed, “You mean to tell me, I ate ALL that meat, for nothing! YOU F***ING D********! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU F***ING PUT ME THROUGH? DO YOU?”

Miles tried to calm Laurie down, but Laurie only got angrier. She gave Don the evil eye at Don and he backed away in fear; unfortunately for him, Laurie lunged at him and started beating him up.

Don barely managed to get away in time to finish off the episode, “Next time on the Ridonculous Race: Brazil! Whoa!” He got dragged by the feet by Laurie, who proceeded to beat him up even more. The other teams simply looked on in horror before Miles ran off in search of the nearest bathroom, at that point the camera fades to black as Don’s screams are heard.

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