User:Rainbowderp01/Sky Fall (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama... we had some, uh... technical difficulties. Then someone, clearly not me, accidentally activated the island's automatic self-destruct sequence. We had an hour to shut down the main computer, or the island would blow, killing everyone who wasn't aboard the fancy helicopter. Scarlett made it to the control room with loads of time, but went loco, big time, and demanded the million bucks or bye-bye island. With the help of an exceedingly handsome Chris-bot, the teens gently subdued Scarlett and very carefully shut down the main computer. I then cashed in some of my cannon miles so that Scarlett and Max could travel home together. Today, four will become three, and soon we will see. Who will go ka-bloom or should I say whom? Whom cares? Let's start the show. It's Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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[hair dryer blows]

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[birds chirping]

[loud crunching]

Sky: Is that a... cabbage?

Sugar: Mama needs some ruffage. 'Nuff said. Or do you want all the hard, dark corn-ridden details?

Sky: Nope, nope, I'm good. Have you seen Shawn and Jasmine?

Sugar: He took her on some big romantic surprise. So they're probably off slaughtering goats or something.

Sky: [confessional] Slaughtering goats? Really? Sugar sure has a strange sense of romance. Blugh. But if I wanna win the million dollars, I'm gonna have to consider an alliance with her. How bad could it be?

Sugar: [straining] Ugh! Nothing. How many cabbages does a girl gotta eat to host her own elimination ceremony?

Sky: Uh, Sugar? I was thinking... we...

Sugar: What are you blabbering about? [crunch]

Sky: Um, nope. Nothing.

Sugar: You wanna form an alliance?

Sky: Yeah. How'd you know?

Sugar: It's butt and brain food. Okay, I'll team up with you. But if you're playing with Sugar, you gotta be willing to get dirty!

Sky: No cheating. A dishonest win isn't a win. We play fair or forget it.

[crunch]

Sky: It's the only way either of us will get a shot at the million dollars. Your call.

Sugar: Fine. I promise. [crunch] [confessional] I was totally lying.

Sky: [confessional] Usually, I don't rely on others to help me win. But I think the best thing I can do is team up with Sugar.

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Jasmine: Wow, did you think of this all on your own?

Shawn: Um, yeah?

Jasmine: Shawn, we obviously aren't gonna vote each other off, but once we eliminate Sugar and Sky, we'll be facing each other in the finale.

Shawn: Uh-huh.

Jasmine: When that happens, we should just play for keeps, then split the money 50/50 regardless of who wins.

Shawn: Uh, yeah. [coughs] Pomegranate? [confessional] Aw, man. How am I gonna break it to her? I need the whole million, half's no good! I've designed a zombie-proof bunker, and if I have to cut corners on the construction materials, I might as well turn it into a ZB&B: Zombie Bed and Breakfast, where my brains are the breakfast, and the beds are... well, they're just beds.

Jasmine: [confessional] Shawn is such a nice guy to split the million with me. All we have to do is get to the end and avoid that dreadful cannon.[real time] I'm so glad you feel the same. This way, we can't lose.

[amp feedback]

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Sorry! Sorry about that. Seems like every time I press this button, it--

[feedback]

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Yep, it's definitely this button. Anyone, time to join me at the base of Mt. McLean. I just named the mountain. Named it after me. You know, McLean? 'Cause I'm awesome? Anyway, just get over here. Pronto.

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Chris: Congratulations. You should be very proud of yourselves for making it to the final four. Proud and utterly terrified of what awaits you.

Shawn: Is the island gonna try and kill us again?

Chris: Nope. The island is now completely offline, thanks to two people whose names I never want to hear again.

Sugar: He's talking about Max and Scarlett.

Chris: Ahem! Okay. Today's challenge is called Mount Everfast. Which is like Mount Everest, only this mountain was modeled after one in...

[loud crunching]

Chris: Why are you eating a cabbage?

Sugar: My colon's more crammed than a city bus during a rush hour snow storm.

[butt growls]

Sugar: The wheels are spinnin', but it ain't movin'.

Chris: Ugh. Okay, my fault for asking. Now, the rules are simple. At the top of Mt. McLean, is a flag. The first one to capture the flag wins immunity and gets to feed on a fabulous takeout dinner. The last one to make it to the top gets fed to the cannon. Chef?

Jasmine, Shawn, and Sky: [talking over each other]

[airhorn blares]

Chris: Go!

Sugar: [panting]

Chris: This is gonna sound crazy, but I kinda miss that wizard kid. Forcefield!

Chris and Chef: [laughing]

Chris: Ah, okay. Time to make their lives miserable.

[whirring]

[growling]

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Sky: Sugar, keep moving! We're a team, so you've gotta keep up!

Sugar: Sky... sometimes... you gotta stop to... and... um, smell the flowers! [inhales] Ooh.

Sky: After we win! Let's go! Stay close. Knowing Chris, there are booby traps all over this mountain.

Sugar: [laughing]

Sky: Ugh, I said booby traps. Just, c'mon! [confessional] When I win the million dollars, I'll hire the best Olympic trainers in the world and win gold in every event at the Summer and Winter Olympics. So even if I have to carry Sugar all the way to the top, I am getting that flag.

Sugar: [confessional] [laughing]

Sky: Come on, Sugar... You've gotta be kidding me... Help me out a little here!

Sugar: What? I am helping. I'm keeping my eyes out just like you said. Like them things right there!