User:Rainbowderp01/Eat, Puke and Be Wary (Transcript)

Chris: Previously on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island... an epic air battle turned into an epic fail when Cameron crashed her ride and her chances of winning. Zoey got shafted by Scott, Scott got scared by shark, and Jo got chucked by catapult. We're down to the final four. Who's going to the finals? And who's gonna be cut loose? [chuckles] Yeah. Like that. Find out right now on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island! _________________________________________________________________________________________ [ Theme song ] _________________________________________________________________________________________ [birds chirping] [electrical zap] [explosion] [squirrel laughs] Zoey: Ugh. Cameron. Do we have to meet all the way up here? Cameron: I'm sorry, Zoey. It's the only place that's private. Aside from the innumerable cameras. First order of business. Get rid of Scott. Zoey: That jerk's kicked off so many people. Now it's his turn to feel the pain. Scott: Or is it? [confessional] I was out setting snares to catch that annoying shark, but I caught something better. Two losers. Ow! Cameron: Maybe I can convince Lightning to join us and vote off Zoey: Awesome! Then it'll be three to one with no chance of-- Ah! Cameron: Ahh! [grunts] [screams] Scott: Today's forecast: geeky showers with a chance of nerd. Zoey: [screams]

Scott: And girl.

Zoey: Scott?

Scott: Zoey. Nice of you to drop in. I just had a killer idea. Totally up your alley, here goes. You and me team up and vote off Lightning.

Zoey: [laughs hysterically] Oh. You're serious. Ow!

Scott: I know we ain't best buds, but you're not exactly a powerhouse. Do you really wanna go head-to-head with Mr. Megajock?

Zoey: Better a mega jock than a mega jerk.

Scott: Oh, really?

Lightning: Sha-bam!

[seagulls cry]

Scott: Wow. That sure helped make my point. Well, your call.

Zoey: [confessional] Ah, I hate it when Scott makes a point.

Scott: [confessional] That went well. But when someone hates your guts the way Zoey hates mine, it's always good to have a Plan B.

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[swish]

Lightning: Two points, aw yeah!

Cameron: [screams] [groans] Um, Lightning? I have a most advantageous offer to extend. Join forces with Zoey and I. Together, we'll vote out the dreaded Scott!

[swish]

Lightning: Aw yeah!

Cameron: Wha, really? Okay, great. We'll see you at the challenge! That was surprisingly painless. [screams]

[swish]

Lightning: All right, yeah!

Scott: Hey, got a proposal for you. A sweet alliance with Baron von Scottmeister.

Lightning: Yeah!

Scott: I always knew you were my kind of guy. So long, Zoey!

Lightning: [confessional] The guys kept yappin' in my ear. But I shut 'em out, 'cause I was in the zone! Hm, wonder what they said. Don't matter. Lightning's going long! All the way to the finals! Sha-bam!

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Chris: Challenge time! And since you've been abused so flagrantly, today's challenge is a super safe fun challenge!

[all cheer]

Chris: Get ready for bubbles, flowers, and cotton can-- [screams]

Zoey, Lightning, and Cameron: Ew...

Scott: My snare! I-I mean, Cameron's snare threw Chris into the outhouse!

Chef: Whooee! I need five interns and a fire hose! ASAP! We'll get you out of there soon!

Chris: [coughing] Ugh. Those ungrateful puppets just crossed the line! Remember those nasty challenges, Chef? The ones that got the red light? Yeah, the light just turned green!

Chef: I'll bring the pain! [laughs evilly]

[thunder sheet bellows]

Chef: Okay, cool it.

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Chef: Listen up, dirtbags! I'm gonna push you 'til you break! Then I'll take the filthy little broken bits and give 'em another good breaking! No wimps are gonna make it to my finale. Do you understand?! First challenge, the cook-off!

Scott: Ha, a cook-off? What's next? A lawn-bowl-o-- ow!

Chef: Shut it or I'll shut it! Bring in the TD classic competitor!

Cameron: Hey! It's DJ!

DJ: No! Not here! I vowed to never be back as long as there was breath in my lungs!

Chef: Your contract disagrees, dough boy. You slime buckets are gonna cook something tasty. And this bag of mush will be the judge! You got twenty minutes to make a tasty lunch with whatever you find on the island! I believe in eating locally. Ready...

Cameron: Um, question. What are out options in the way of seasonings?

Chef: Get cookin'!

Cameron: Ah!

Zoey and Scott: [panting]

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Lightning: Chef doesn't know what he's talking about! There's no food in this forest! Think, Lightning, think! What makes steak? [gasps] Trees! Come on tree, gimme some steak!