User blog:InfiniteRiver/River's Review of: The Obsta-Kill Course

Hi guys, I'm back and it's time to review another episode of Total Drama All-Stars! (WOOOOT!) Just to let you all know, I won't be on the wiki again until next Wednesday afternoon (I may be able to get on, but very rarely and only on my iPod). Because I'm going to DISNEY tomorrow!!!! One week of fun, rides, and weather that's actually pleasant and not FREEZING COLD EVERY SINGLE MORNING. AND AFTERNOON. AND EVENING. (Yay!) I'll still do a review of Sundae Muddy Sundae, but it'll be 24 hours late or so. And after boring you all to death, let's get on to the actual review:

We open with a nice Zourtney moment, with Zoey consoling Courtney and telling her to TALK TO SCOTT. When you can't talk to Mike. GAWSH. And then Mal rants about his amazingness and his psychic knowledge of Al's knowledge and we get another Mike brain scene.

I personally have nothing against these. So Mike and Chester, on their RPG adventure, find Svetlana (!) sculpting butter into ZE FISHING! And there IS weather in your brain, as we see giant floating cloud ears listening in.

Courtney trips on the cabin steps AGAIN, and runs into Scott... who is eating dirt. Now with 20% more fiber! And Alejandro and his DVD of Incriminating Evidence are out to get Mal. And Alejandro Dead Donkey is out to get all... Mostly just Mal. But then all. And then Alejandro does fifty pushups for no reason.

The cast has to run an obstacle course, filled with endless amounts of fun! And with 20% more fiber.

We have a Gwoey moment, and Mal and his pal Al have a chat. Alejandro grabs Mal's shirt, and threatens him and stuff, and Mal proves to be stronger. And behold, the only picture I'll ever post on here:



MAL'S EPIC STARE SWAG FTW!!!!!

And Al's people's saying: "Burros muertos no hablan!" Dead donkey's don't talk. Good job Al, you just gave Mal the idea to kill you.

And Mal proves his EPIC BILINGUAL SWAG by translating. I already did so. Stop making me not feel special. Chris has a lauging fit, and Al's perfect symmetry is ruined. Dude, your bracelets aren't identical, anyways.

On the obstacle course, Scott's foot "is touching [his] face!" And so, to prove that it wasn't that bad, I repeatedly tried to kick myself in the face. GENIUS!

Zoey and Mal help each other, and as Mal quotes: "We make a great team!" I don't know how this is persuasion, Al, seeing as this is a statement. Then Al tries to warn Gwen, and gets a tire to the face, courtesy of Mal. Yesterday I was lifting tires in gym class, and I probably throw it five feet, let alone twenty.

Zal reach the rope climb, and Mal proves his ninjalike ability again by climbing like a spider. Zoey slips, falls, and generally lets us all down because her god powers don't prevent allergies. This causes a cute Gwoey moment, which makes Courtney yell at them and make Gwen realize Courtney kiss Cameron and starts WWIII... Not really. Gwen just gets ticked.

Oh, yeah, and Mal has a sweet tooth.

Mal makes it to the Snapping Bars, where Mal's pal Al grabs onto his legs. Mal then gets angry and summons... Oh wait. I just have to mention that in the like 2 hours since we last saw Mike, he's been persuading Svetlana to escape and has gotten NOWHERE.

So Mal summons Shadow Svetlana. It took me like ten minutes to think of the prefix-name-thing, and I went through candidates such as Dark ___, Anti ___, and that's really it. So whenever there's a Shadow before any of Mike's personalities names, Mal is in control of them.

And Shadow Svetlana commences beating the SNOT out of Al... again. And in Mike's mind, Svetlana is fading in and out like... something that fades in and out. Mike then finds yet ANOTHER RANDOM TOOL/THING THAT CAN BREAK THE CHAINS, and frees Svetlana. And Chester eats butter.

Speaking of Mike/his personalites eating stuff, Mal chomps down on the bar when he loses Svetlana. He falls in the turtles, and Al is perfectly fine. Mal's black eye is REALLY weird. It's basically already there, with his dark circles. And awwwww Mike is Mal's bro. BROFIST.

We have a cute Scourtney moment, and Al was SO CLOSE in getting someone to listen about Mal. And about Mal, he is in the middle of telling Scott that Al put a wedge in Scourtney. And Scott, being Scott, thinks that it's a wedge of cheese. Mal facepalm.

And now it is officially everyone vs. Al... we all know how this is gonna end. Al's pal Mal volunteers to get the leeches of his face, then karate kicks him away.

At the cliff, Zal discovers that their packs contain ziplining stuff, and Al cheated, because his pack had magic zipline stuff in it. It made NO SOUND AT ALL. Scott lost his a long time ago, and now has to go barehanded across the line.

Al's pal Mal jumps on the zipline to stop him... and ends up dropping them both into the water. And Al? Mal was like TWELVE when he went to juvie. Now he COULD go to prison, but it depends on how old he is exactly.

Scott is left hanging on the rope after Zoey wins the challenge. And doesn't drop into the water, even though it's CLEARLY survivable, seeing how Mal and Al are fine.

At the elimination ceremony, Alejandro Dead Donkey, aritst extraordinaire, demonstrates his skill by drawing Mal the devil. Zoey gets the mansion... WHAT ABOUT GWEN!??!?!? Oh, it's okay, Zoey, Mal, Gwen, and Chris will all stay there. Must be awfully crowded. Nevermind, Gwen, you're going to Boney Island! Yay!

And as Mal's pal Al gets flushed, he leaves a cryptic message: "It's in the art!" And we all know that it's in a painting of Chris. The end.

'GOOD POINTS:'

-Malejandro

-Good Challenge

-Scott's Slapstick Comedy

BAD POINTS:

-Scourtney

BEST CHARACTER: Alejandro Dead Donkey. I will NEVER stop calling him that now. His repeated efforts of trying to stop Mal was comedic. The fact that may stop Mal post-flushem is kind of cool. And his artistic skill is pretty good.

'WORST CHARACTER: 'Courtney. FREAKIN'. STOP. MENTIONING. CAMTNEY. It's over, we're done, and it was all Al's fault. Or so Mal says. She's too conflicted over Gwentney and Scourtney to be of any use. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, WOMAN!

'FINAL SCORE: 9.5 '