User blog:Pierzina/Total Drama Reloaded – 03. Mine Your Business

AN: Being our longest and similarily, most ambitious work yet, I was very intent on making sure we utilized this episode to be as perfectly polished as possible. Despite being so long and strenuous, I am very proud of the result and hope you enjoy.

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Reloaded...our thirteen campers were challenged to a game of truth or drowning! Several big secrets were revealed, including Lightening being afraid of gerbils, Mary having a more distinctly feminine path than we could ever imagine, and Dawn never having met her birth parents! Ouch! At the end of the challenge, all was tied up as we moved onto part two where the teens were asked to make snow forts and battle it out to see which team would be the last one standing. Sam’s indifference to the team and Staci’s accidental meltdown was enough to save the Maggots from elimination, but it put the two of them in the hot seat. At the elimination ceremony, Scott’s plan to take out Sam worked and the gamer was voted out 5-2. Twelve remain, who will be undermined and who will be the next to take the Hurl of Shame? Find out right now on Total Drama Reloaded!

[the episode opens with the girls in the washrooms]

Zoey: [putting on winged eyeliner, struggling slightly]

Dakota: I think eyeliner is supposed to be on the eyes. [applies mascara] Just a tip.

Zoey: And makeup is supposed to add to our beauty, not be our beauty.

Dakota: [seethes] Are you calling me pretty ONLY if I wear makeup? That’s like, so rude. You’re one to talk! Your face looks like a pancake!

Zoey: [rolls eyes] Coming from you, I’ll consider your contempt a compliment. I have no tolerance for preppy goody two-shoes like you.

Dakota: [CONF] What is that weird groupie girl’s problem? I was giving her adviiice, helloooo. Some people are so ungrateful these days.

Anne Maria: Can it, primadonnas. I need peace and quiet so my poof can properly settle. [sprays unhealthy amounts of hairspray on herself, unaffected, whilst Zoey and Dakota collapse to the ground, out of breathe]

[in the Rats’ male cabin, the boys are just waking up]

Scott: [rubbing the side of his head] Ugh. I slept horribly. Compared to those first few nights in the glorious suite next door. [looks out the window at Mike enjoying a lavish breakfast in the suite’s dining area] Some people have all the luck.

Lightening: Come on, pork rinds, suck it up. Someone like you seems like they would be used to the simple life.

Scott: What’s that supposed to mean? I ain’t no dumb hick. I could handle myself in the city anyday. What’s so cool about it anyway? All you have is your doo-dad gadgets and heavy output of air pollution. I am very PROUD of my heritage. [smells armpit]

Lightening: You should be “proud” that you haven’t caused the rest of the island’s trees to die yet cause of your STANK!

Scott: Why don’t you come over here and say that to my FACE!

Lightening: Why? So I can breathe in the toxic fumes you exude from yo mouth?!

Scott: [scowls]

Scott: [CONF] City peoples obsession with hygiene appalls me. Back in my hometown, we judged people based on how far they could spit and how well they rope cattle with twizzlers.

[the scene moves to outside of the cabins, Mary and Brick are out for a morning run]

Mary: [jogging at a faster pace] What, couldn’t convince Chef to give you some extra grub scraps? Hah.

Brick: Please, if this was back at the academy, I’d have you perpetually destroyed by my uncanny ability to maintain endurance.

Mary: [rolls eyes] You couldn’t hurt a fly. The only thing you’re hurting is your self-esteem cause you’re about to get outran by a GIRL! [laughs as she runs forward]

Brick: Hey! [runs into a tree]

Brick: [CONF] I have a very strong sense of moral code and honour and I believe that it is up to me to keep things in line, but also offer a helping hand to my teammates. I know Mary isn’t as cruel as she lets on but it may be unhealthy to keep trying to appeal to her senses… does she even have sensibilities outside of rage and control?

[deep in the forest, Dawn accompanied by Staci and B are feeding animals]

Dawn: Thank you again, friends for joining me on this frivolous, spur of the moment adventure. Quite enticing, isn’t it?

B: [nods, smiling] Staci: We’re just feeding the ducks… [lifts arm, showing off a duck with its teeth, thanks to the mutation, placed in her arm] And I think one bit me.

Staci: [CONF] I joined Dawn on her little thing because I thought it’d be nice to move out of my comfort zone a little bit. But now I’m feeling sort of back in my funk. I just don’t know what I want to do with myself, outside of eat and remain passed out in the trunk of a moving car heading off a bridge... goo deep?

Dawn: Are you not enjoying yourself? My apologies. [puts her hand on Staci’s shoulder] I know how much you want to find passion in your life. It’ll find you.

B: [also comforts Staci]

Staci: Yeah, yeah, yeah.. I do appreciate your optimism. [picks an apple] Ooh, do you think this is edible?

[suddenly a worm crawls out of it and begins to grow massive in size]

Dawn: With the evidence presented, I am going to have to concur that the answer is no.

Staci: RUN!

[the three run off in fear]

[meanwhile, in the Maggots suite, Mike is sitting lonesome at the table, writing a letter]

Mike: [writing] No, no, no.. [scribbles over it]

Mike: [CONF] Well, I guess it’s no secret now that I really, really like Zoey. I know we’ve only known each other for a week, but for once I feel like a normal person around somebody. She eases my anxiety in a way that no one else can.

Mike: Writing confessions is so difficult. How do teenage girls do this?

Molly: [screen pans out, revealing she’s been standing aside him the whole time] May I suggest looking over a portion of the grammar? I think you made a few missteps.

Mike: M-molly?! Wh-what are you doing here?!

Molly: I’ve been in the kitchen this entire time, seems you have a lot more on your mind.

Mike: N-not really…

Molly: [grabs the letter from the table] Oh, wouldn’t Zoey just love to hear that … “she shines like a discarded penny on the asphalt of a old barber shop”...?

Molly: [CONF] [blinks]

Mike: Hey! It’s a work in progress … I’ve never been the most poetic, okay?

Molly: Well, we’re definitely going to have to work on this and while we’re at it we can begin plotting on how we’re going to throw the challenge.

Mike: We..? Throw the challenge? WHY?

Molly: To get rid of Mary, once and for all. [smiles] Of course, unless you’d want me to inform Zoey of your little crush.

Mike: Is there something you’re trying to do here? B-because..

Molly: Oh, don’t take this personal. I am merely putting myself in a position above you. See, this is a game of levels. Everyone is on a different one. I must put myself on the top level, at all costs, you see. [eye twitches]

Mike: I won’t let you put me in a place like this!

[the doorknob is heard turning]

Molly: [glances over] I suppose I’ll have to do this the hard way.

Mike: No, please! F-fine… I’ll… [sighs] I’ll do it.

Molly: Sweet. Your fly is down. [walks off]

Mike: [looks awkwardly at the camera]

Mike: [CONF] Out of everyone on this campsite, Molly is most certainly the weirdest, which is a prestigious title to hold in this crowd. Of course I don’t want to throw the challenge, but right now it looks like I’m stuck in between a rock and a very, very, very, hard place… [sighs]

Chris: [over intercom] Attention all campers, please meet me by the mineshaft in 10!

Dakota: [sitting at a picnic table, drumming her fingers] Ugh, when are they gonna show up already? Talent does not like to wait!

Dakota: [CONF] After losing the challenge last night I made sure to put a call in with my paparazzi. Knowing that I could leave at any time reminded me that I really wanna get a photoshoot in before I get kicked off. [She holds up a green, slimy dress]. I’m thinking of calling it “toxically tenacious”.

Lightening: [runs up to Dakota] Come on vapid girl, we gotta head to the challenge! Lightening is never late and his team shouldn’t be either!

Dakota: Ugh, FINE! But my paparazzi better show up soon if I’m expected to get any press from this gig.

Paparazzi #1: [offscreen] Da-ko-ta! Dakota Milton?

Dakota: [gasps] Over here, my adoring fans! [waves]

[Dakota’s entourage approaches, regularly snapping photos every second]

Paparazzi #2: Dakota, tu es belle! Tres magnifique! [she poses for them]

Dawn: [covering eyes] The flashing lights are disturbing the wildlife!

Scott: I don’t care about the little mermaid’s photo-op. It’s time to head off, with or without her.

Staci: But she’s a deeply valued member of the team! We can’t do thaaaat…

Scott: We most definitely can, and will. [walks off]

Lightening: That girl couldn’t help us in a mine if her life depended on it! She got gummy worms for brains. [follows Scott]

[the rest reluctantly follow, leaving a distracted Dakota focused on her photoshoot]

[meanwhile, the Maggots are making their way through the forest and towards the mine]

Brick: [looking around] I can’t believe Chris has put us in these conditions. This has to be some sort of violation of code!

Anne Maria: Pfft, I’ve seen worse kept places. All we need is a disco ball and passed out groupies and this could pass as a club!

Anne Maria: [CONF] My team is major yawn town. Not they fault, just different lifestyles. They’re all either brittleboned jocks or complete and utter weirdos, meanwhile I am a thick serving of jersey with extra zest [sprays hairspray]. Never in my life I thought I would be thinking I should be a “rat” instead of a “maggot”, but I also thought that beavers didn’t have wings, so what do I know.

Molly: [walking aside Zoey, making sure to look back at Mike]

Zoey: [looks at Molly, confused]

Zoey: [CONF] Socializing is weird for me because I like to stay in my lane, mostly. Being a grade-A loner is chill because I want to like, dismantle the systems that society deems necessary. It’s just so different here, how the people here want to… talk to me, back home I was always just minding my own business. I can’t really do that here.

Molly: Oh, hello. Pondering over the challenge? A mine is rather excessive.

Zoey: Chris’ barbarity knows no limit.

Molly: [blinks]

Mike: [looking over at Molly and Zoey, in panic, to the point where he trips over a stone and falls over]

Mary: [instinctively picks him back up] What kind of behaviour is this, twignut? Keep the clumsiness for hopscotch. We have a challenge to win, got it?

Mike: Y-yeah, I kn-know..

Mary: We won last time and as lea-

Brick: [raises eyebrow]

Mary: As a teammate, it is my duty to ensure we do not fall back into failure. Maggots HUT! [starts running]

Mary: [CONF] Sure, Brick is the “leader” of our team, but not for long. Once I show off my superior capabilities, and exploit Brick’s weaknesses, they’ll be BEGGING to take me back!

Mike: [CONF] I am majorly stressed out. I am supposed to throw this challenge but with Mary on my back, that seems impossible! It may just be time to fold… [sighs]

Anne Maria: I ain’t running in these shoes.

[the counterparting teams are seen in front of the mine, Chris has finally arrived, with a truck in tow]

Chris: Nice evening, isn’t it? [sips drink]

Zoey: Not necessarily.

Dawn: [waving air from her face] It is horrendous how polluted this place is.

Chef: Chris, you want the cheesy double burger fish mac or the ooey gooey double triple decker bacon wrapped burger?

Lightening: Ahw nah, that just ain’t fair! Y’all are eating fast food while we have to eat that nasty grub. Where’s our burgers?

Chris: Relaaaax, sheesh. You kids act like I’m some kind of felon. It’s this challenge’s reward!

[everyone falls silent]

Staci: [breaks the silence with clapping] Yay.

Chris: So, now to actually explain the challenge! This is going to be a relay race to separate landmarks on the island. Starting with, you guessed it, the mine. Each landmark has a box hidden within it’s core, which will have tools that’ll help you at the next!

Mary: Ah, yes. Finally, a competition that NO one can stand in my way in.

Brick: Remember, what matters most is that we stick together as a team and don’t get lost.

Molly: [looking at the mine]

Molly: [CONF] [deadpan] I may be unstable. However, not as unstable as that mine.

Mike: [raises hand]

Chris: Yes?

Mike: Isn’t it kind of dangerous for us to be thrown in a mine?

Chris: ...Yeah?

Mike: Then, wouldn’t it be more responsible to give us something that ensures our safety?

Chris: [scratches head] Probably?

Mike: So where are our tools to keep ourselves safe!

Chris: Fiiiiiiiine… [pulls out box containing backpacks] These backpacks will be of aid to you for this portion of the challenge. But, if I were you guys, I’d get going. There’s some siiick mutated animals in there just festering for a chance to get their hands on you and this mine is one serious tremor away from collapsing! [laughs as he gets back in the truck with Chef] Oh and one more thing, you see those little green triangles on your bags? Those display the radiation levels of the mine. Green means it’s safe, yellow you’re in potential danger, red means you need to get out. And if turns black well...let’s just say it won’t be pretty. Ha. Ha ha ha.

Mary: [rolls her eyes] Clam it McClean, this team is already enough of a trainwreck as is without your ridiculous spook stories.

Dawn: I hate to interrupt, but what Chris says is very real. I sense great danger lying inside that mine…

Lightening: Ha! Lightening ain’t afraid of no stupid mine!

Scott: Oh yeah? Not even if it’s filled with radioactive gerbils? [sneers]

Lightening: Gerbils? Heh...uh-uh dirt boy! Nothing can stop the Lightening! But uh, there won’t be anything like that, right Chris? Chris? [Chris and Chef are gone] Huh…

Scott: Forget Chris, where’s Dakota? Didn’t she get the memo last time that no participate-y means you get voted off-y?

Dakota: [runs in, causing the mine to tremor slightly] I’m here! I’m here! What’d I miss?

Staci: [shrugs] Nothing super important.

Dawn: [looks up at the shaking mine in fear] Perhaps we should remind her of-

Paparazzi #3: Dakota, where are you? DAKOTA!!!

Dakota: [shouts and waves] Right here boys! [The stomping footsteps of her paparazzi continues to shake the mine, as most of the players have seemingly already entered.]

Paparazzi #4: [catches up to Dakota, still stomping his feet] Dakota, the grey of the crumbling cavern behind you really brings out your eyes!

Paparazzi #2: S'il vous plaît, she would look gorgeous next to a trailer park!

Paparazzi #3: Ain’t that the truth! [they continue snapping photos of Dakota as rocks tumble down from the mountain]

Dakota: Thank you boys! But you know, I could use some better lighti-

Dawn: Oh my, watch out!

[B suddenly tackles Dakota inside the mine as it finally caves in. Large rocks tumble down, covering the entrance and crushing the various paparazzi. The camera tries to catch this action before it too is engulfed in rockfall, cutting the screen to black.]

[Everyone but B and Dakota are following a railroad track down into the mine when it begins to cave in around them. They scream and run in different directions, some fall through holes in the ground, some just try to keep on running and more are separated by the incoming debris.]

Brick: [slowly waking up] Huh..? Wh-what happened.. [looks around]

Molly: You're awake.

Brick: Molly?! It’s so good to see you! Where is the rest of our squadron?

Molly: We’re victims of a cave-in.

Brick: ...Huh. So we’re all alone in this dark… dreary… cave… with no contact with the outside world...

Molly: Yes.

Brick: [laughs] Haha, yeah that’s what I thought.

Molly: [stares at Brick]

Brick: LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT I CAN’T DO THIIIIIIS [shrieks and begins to bang on walls]

Molly: [shifts eyes to stare at the screen]

[the scene now focuses on an already composed Staci and Lightening, walking]

Lightening: Great. Out of all the people on the team, I get stuck with th-

Staci: Fatty. Tubby. Which one will you use this time? There is more to my being then my weight!

Lightening: I was going to say the WEAKEST teammate. You add nothing to the team except gas and excessive snacking! You should’ve gone last episode, even if Sam was annoying at least he didn’t cost us the challenge. I don’t know how you stayed anyway, you ain’t even got friends!

Staci: [tears watering up] You don’t mean that! I’ve made plenty of friends here..

Lightening: I don’t got time for tea parties with tubby! You lost us the challenge last time and it ain’t happening again on MY watch. [begins to walk off]

Staci: W-wait! Let me prove my worth. I can help, I promise! I wanna win too!

Lightening: … [softens expression] Fine. Hurry up, Lightening strikes alone and waits for nobody!

Staci: [lets out sigh of relief and walks forward]

Staci: [CONF] I am used to being picked last for the team. No one wants to team up with the fat girl. Here I thought I was making progress in confidence, but I feel like all of that’s back out the window. [sighs] But I have to perservere.

[Mary and Mike are just now realizing their situation]

Mary: Ugh, that prissy, no-good daddy’s girl! Now how am I going to prove myself to the team? [simmering with rage]

Mike: Mary, we’ve got bigger issues than this challenge to worry about. We’re stuck in the middle of nowhere inside of a mine.

Mary: And? This is still a competition. No matter what the circumstances.

Mike: [mumbling] Maybe that mindset is what screwed you over in the first place…

Mary: Hey! I may not be the leader but that doesn’t mean I’m deaf.

Mike: I’m just saying, why are you always so uptight? I knew you didn’t take any prisoners but sheesh, you don’t have to operate like one.

Mary: Uptight? Is that what losers like you call driven people nowadays? Listen, you may not like me and I definitely don’t like you, toothpick, but we’re stuck here together and we need to find a way out. I just know you’re dying to talk to your precious “Zoey”. [rolls eyes]

Mike: Hey! L-leave her out of this… how’d you know I had a crush on her? Did MOLLY tell you?!

Mike: [CONF] [facepalm] I really need to stop talking so much.

Mary: [perks ears] I didn’t know that, I also didn’t know Molly had dirt on you… interesting. We can talk about this on our way out. [begins to walk forward]

Mike: [sighs and accompanies her]

[Deeper within the mine, Dakota and B happen upon an abandoned mineshaft. B seems to be studying some sort of map while Dakota comes to conscious.]

Dakota: [rubbing her head] I...what happened exactly?

B: [B turns around and acknowledges her by nodding, then proceeds speaking in sign language.]

Dakota: Sorry I don’t...understand. I forgot you didn’t talk. Speaking of, is that like a medical thing or-

B: [looks down]

Dakota: Fine, give me the silent treatment.. but let’s just try and get out of here, got it?

B: [nods]

B: [CONF] [shrugs insecurely]

[The camera focuses on a pool of water deep within the caverns. Two girls’ screams are heard before they plunge in. Both manage to resurface and are revealed to be Anne Maria and Zoey.]

Zoey: [spits out water] I can’t see anything! Where are we? [taps her faces] And oh no, where are my vintage glasses worn by Joni Mitchell herself? HEEEEEELP!

Anne Maria: Sheesh, keep it down will ya? Some of us got bigger problems on our hands.

Zoey: Anne, is that you? Keep talking and I’ll follow your voice!

Anne Maria: Eh? I’ll speak when I feel like speakin’! I don’t need some dorky little brat tellin’ me what to do and whatnot.

Zoey: Anne, this is serious! I-I’m not that great of a swimmer! Are you there? Hello?!?!?

Anne Maria: [appears on a rock out of the water] I’m already out of the lake, Paramoron! I’d have ta be some kinda crazy to stay in that water any longer and risk anymore damage to my hair, lemme tell ya.

Zoey: Anne! [sputters] Help!

Zoey: [CONF] I was literally drowning and it still took her three minutes to rescue me. [throws her arms up] THREE whole minutes!

Zoey: Seriously! [hack] Get off your butt and save me already!

Anne Maria: Ugh, fine, but you’ll be payin’ for my hairspray aftah the show.

[Anne jumps in the water, grabbing Zoey and pulling her to shore. Zoey coughs for a few seconds and then just glares at her.]

Anne Maria: What’s got your panties in a twist?

[Scott stirs, beginning to regain conscious]

Scott: [rubbing head] Damn.. what happened?

Dawn: There was an incident, we’re caved in. I hope everyone else is fine.

Scott: Everyone else? We need to get OURSELVES out before worrying about anyone else! Why didn’t you wake me up?

Dawn: I know how long you stay up at night, thinking about how you need to win this competition in order to save your family farm, so I felt as if you needed the sleep.

Scott: Wh-what?! H-how- actually, I don’t want to know. Ugh. [starts to walk off]

Dawn: It’s okay to have ambition, if you need someone to talk to then-

Scott: Yeah, how about this, YOU leave ME alone! Have you ever heard about some things being private? You know nothing about what I’ve gone through. Just because you have some “all-seeing” powers doesn’t mean you get to walk around being nosy. Screw off!

Dawn: I… I didn’t mean to cause disharmony, I was just trying to communicate-

Scott: Because you’re just soooo perfect, you think everyone seeks your help. Some people actually like some ambiguity and have PROBLEMS. Do me a favour and let me rot in this cave alone, because it’ll somehow be more enjoyable. [storms off]

Dawn: [looks down unsurely]

Brick: [hyperventilating]

Molly: Are you done or should I prepare to waste more time waiting for you as we slowly die quicker. [shows him that their triangles have begun to turn orange]

Brick: H..h..

Molly: [stares straight into Brick’s eyes, maintaining her emotionless tone] Stop thinking about yourself. Think about me. Are you going to let me die here just because of your fear? It’s time to go.

Brick: [blinking]

Molly: [grabs his collar] Did you hear me? [darkly] It’s time to go.

Brick: Y-you’re r-right.. I’m sorry. I’ve been s-so selfish! I can’t leave all my team members out like th-this.. I’m supposed to be the leader..

Molly: [nods] Go.

Brick: [uneasy at first, begins to walk forward]

Brick: [CONF] Man, I never knew Molly could be so … demanding. It was, er, [blushes] quite arousing.

Molly: [CONF] I want to lose the challenge [blinks] not my life.

[they begin to move forward, following a train track]

Brick: [rummaging through the backpack] There’s got to be something we could use in here…

Molly: [nods]

Brick: Aha! A map of where the treasure chest is! [whips it out] This’ll help us so much, we’ll even be able to win the challenge!

Molly: [dead silent] Ok.

Dakota: [using a flashlight to navigate through the mine] Ugh, it is so dirty in here!

B: [raises eyebrow]

Dakota: Okay, okay. Listen, I know it’s my fault and all but … I was waiting for that photo op! If I don’t get my camera time then I’ll be resorted to being some trophy wife for some man I won’t love just because that’s what happens to girls like me who aren’t successful. Face it, I’m not talented. My looks are all I’ve got. If being a socialite doesn’t work out then… [shivers] I couldn’t live that kind of life.

B: [wears a sorrowful expression as he puts his hand on her shoulder]

Dakota: Am I rambling? I’m rambling.. I’m sorry. [sighs] Ugh. I shouldn’t have gotten all feels-y on you…

B: I understand.

Dakota: [completely shocked] B… you just TALKED! [gasps] Oh my god! [hugs him]

B: [nods slightly]

Dakota: Your voice is much … higher than I expected?

B: [nods sadly]

Dakota: Oh... I see. I understand. Listen, you’re smart and so compassionate. We’ll get through this alright? [smiles widely] Hehe, I’ve never been so admirable before… too bad Lindsay already trademarked Admiral, Her Hotness or that could totally fit for this situation! [giggles]

B: [smiles]

Dakota: Go on and lead the way!

B: [starts moving forward, map in hand]

Dakota: [CONF] B talking to me was so momumental. He doesn’t talk to anybody! Not even Dawn, and she is very fluent in weirdoness. I definitely feel a lot better going forward and I am really glad he opened up to me.

—-

Mary: [looking intently at the map] Thank goodness you looked through those sleazy backpacks, or I would’ve tossed ‘em.

Mike: [sheepishly chuckles] Well, yeah… I didn’t want us to die here and mineralize into the ground.

Mary: Didn’t need the explanation, a simple “thank you for validating my existence” would’ve sufficed.

Mike: [sigh] Do you always have to be so cold? I mean, we’re at a summer camp, not a winter camp. [chuckles] Get it? Bec-

Mary: You’re not funny. To put it short, I have no use for you and the rest of this looney house of a cast’s lives because you’re all focused on your meaningless drama. Life is a series of challenges, I win the challenge, and I move forward. People like you get caught up in the details. I don’t take prisoners.

Mike: Maybe if you put a little more effort in your perception of others you’d be more successful. See, if you take no prisoners you’re just putting a prison around yourself, dude. Let loose! Get funky!

Mary: Since when were you so carefree?

Mike: We’re stuck in a mine, don’t you want to spice it up a little? Lemme mine your business?

Mary: [rolls eyes] Keep moving maggot. [moves forward]

[Anne and Zoey are walking together through the deeper parts of the cavern. Anne is guiding her by the wrist as Zoey is still missing her glasses.]

Anne Maria: So ya think they got any big fancy diamonds in here?

Zoey: I don’t care. I just want to get out of here.

Anne Maria: Sheesh, you’re no fun. C’mon Indie-Anna Jones, this could be like, a bonding experience for the two of us.

Zoey: That’s easy for you to say. You have no idea what it’s like to try to process a whirlwind of emotions only to be tossed inside some giant hole with no sense of direction and no way to know if you’ll ever get out. Face it, we’re doomed! DOOMED!

Anne Maria: It’s that kind of thinking that ain’t gonna get us out of here. My mom always told me to look on the sunny side of the six pack. Maybe you could take a page from her book. [Zoey grumbles]

Zoey: I’d hate to be a part of your family.

Anne Maria: [stops in her tracks] Whoa…

Zoey: What, did I offend you now?

Anne Maria: Quit your yammerin’ for a second! Do you see that?

Zoey: [deadpan] I can’t see anything, Anne.

Anne Maria: It looks like some sorta dungeon....

Anne Maria: [CONF] I may be flunkin’ outta school but if there’s one thing I gotta smart spot for its expensive jewelry and where to find it. I mean come on, you don’t just stumble into a dungeon hundreds of feet below the ground and expect there to NOT be some kinda giant crystal there, do ya?

Anne Maria: C’mon Zo, quit being so uptight will ya? There’s gotta be some sort of fancy emerald or somethin’ in there.

Zoey: Absolutely not. Are you going crazy due to the radiation or did it somehow slip your mind that we could die in here?

Anne Maria: [shrugs] YOLO.

Zoey: That is the dumbest- you know what? Fine. Just promise to focus on the challenge once we find your stupid diamond, okay?

Anne Maria: You gotta deal, sister!

[Anne and Zoey enter the mine, only to be immediately confronted by giant mole rats. They hiss at the girls.]

Anne Maria and Zoey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Suddenly, the moles are stopped by an unseen force. A lanky, green-skinned boy steps into focus.]

Anne Maria: No way! Is that...Freakzekiel?

[Ezekiel kneels down and kisses Anne’s hand. She giggles and blushes.]

Anne Maria: Whatta gentleman. [Zoey gags.]

Zoey: [CONF] Sometimes I wonder if this island is a little too strange, even for me.

Dawn: So, when are you going to stop giving me this silent treatment?

Scott: Never.

Dawn: Actually, you just-

Scott: Look it doesn’t matter, alright? Why do you care if I talk to you if you can just read what you want out of me regardless?

Dawn: Could I just perhaps say something?

Scott: Fine. We don’t have much time left until we get killed by further cave ins or toxic radiation anyways, so I should just let you judge my whole life while we wait.

Dawn: While I don’t want to infringe further on your life should it make you uncomfortable, I just want to emphasize that I’m not giving you a reading to mock you or make you feel insecure. I don’t want to hurt you. [grasps Scott’s wrists] I want to help you, Scott.

Scott: Urk.. your grip is tight enough to catch a greased up pig.

Dawn: [She lets go] Oh. Sorry.

Scott: Look, if you wanna help me, fine. But that doesn’t mean I’m some puzzle you can solve.

Dawn: I am aware of that. Your aura says you are the angsty type deep inside your rough demeanor. Not only that, but-

Scott: Okay, enough of that! I don’t want you reading into me either!

Dawn: But then how am I supposed to know what ails you?

Scott: Just.. .I’ll tell you if I need someone to talk to. Okay?

Dawn: Okay.

Dawn: [CONF] I’ll admit, I do have more trouble understanding people than I do with animals. Humans are such complicated creatures. [sighs] I wish they could be aware of my intentions. Maybe I should hold free classes for my fellow campers to learn aura reading… that would not turn out well, nevermind.

Dawn: Please help me to understand. You do not wish for me to bring this up in front of the others as you are afraid it would damage your ego and destroy your hard exterior?

Scott: Okay, now you’re just trying to make me look bad. [snickers] But speaking of things that are hard… OW!!! [Scott grips his foot in pain]

Dawn: [gasps] Scott, these are mine carts! Oh thank you Mother Earth, we are saved!

Scott: Eh? How do we even know if they’re going to work?

Dawn: [shrugs] We will just have to take our chances. Now… COME ON! [She shoves Scott into the minecart and pushes it, then proceeding to jump in herself as it flies downhill]

Scott: AAAAAAAAAAH! IN THE FUTURE, I WOULDN’T MIND A WARNING!

Scott: [CONF] I’ll admit it, I may have misjudged Dawn. Sure, she’s a total weirdo with a penchant for creeping in on peoples’ thoughts but eh, there’s worse company.

[an unsettling noise is heard in the background, as Lightening and Staci trudge on]

Lightening: [dead silent, walking]

Staci: Are we there yet?

Lightening: Does it LOOK like we there yet?

Staci: Listen, I’m just trying to spark some conversation. I found us the map…

Lightening: Which you LOST! We could be walking in circles for all we know.

Staci: I know I messed up a little bit but it’s the thought that counts… right? What doesn’t hurt us makes us stronger.

Lightening: [rolls eyes]

Staci: You know what? FINE! Why should I even try to impress you anyways. You’re just some macho athlete who thinks is all great because he has shiny plaques. That’ll get you NOWHERE with your attitude! Did your mother even raise you?

Lightening: [uncharacteristically] DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA.

Staci: [taken aback] I… I didn’t mean to strike a nerve.

Lightening: [composes himself] Lightening… sorry.

Staci: [puts hand on his shoulder] It’s okay. I was getting too carried away. We’re just different, that’s all.

Lightening: [throws her hand off] Lightening doesn’t need to be consoled, got it?

Staci: Lightening, I got it!

Lightening: Good.

Staci: No, really, I got it! Look! [points to a cavernous hole] That could be our ticket outta here!

Lightening: Huh? [looks] How do we know?

Staci: Dunno. You should find out. [pushes him down the hole, sliding him down]

Staci: [CONF] He’s been bullying me this entire time, ok?! I deserved a small victory after reconciling with him… plus I’ve always secretly wanted to push someone down a hole.

Staci: Is it clear?

Lightening: [woozy] Y-yeah.. j-just watch your head! I think Lightening landed in owchie land..

Staci: Well, get ready to be the other side of a Staci sandwhich cause I’m going down, I’m yelling TIMBER!

Staci: [CONF] [earbuds in, dancing around] You better move! You better dance!

Staci: [slides down, knocking Lightening across the minefloor, until he hits mine tracks]

Lightening: [rubbing head] Lightening… fine… [crawls onto the tracks]

[suddenly, mine carts come rolling down, running him over and hitting the wall]

Staci: Well, that was very ceremonious. [under her breath] Karma is real!

Dawn: Oh, dear. Did we hurt somebody?

Scott: [still frazzed from how quick everything went] No, pappy! Don’t shoot that rabbit he’s my friend!

Staci: Well, now that we’re all together we can work together to find a way out!

Lightening: No way. Lightening is a one man team.

Staci: Would you do it for a protein shake?

Lightening: HA! You can’t just buy me with-

Staci: TWO protein shakes?

Lightening: Deal! Get in the carts and I’ll push you outta here.

Dawn: [her backpack blinks orange] This is not a good sign. It is most imperative we get out of here with haste.

Lightening: Then let’s double time it baby! Sha-push! [Lightening pushes the carts down the track as quickly as possible]

—-

[Dakota and B are walking uphill]

Dakota: So… not to pry, but you do know where we’re going, right?

B: [nods, and shows her a compass he made from the tools in the backpack]

Dakota: Dude, you are some serious kind of genius.

B: [smirks a little]

Dakota: Okay, NOW you’re just being cocky!

B: [CONF] [smiles]

[Anne Maria is sitting in a throne while a mole rat files her nails. Another is giving her a back massage. Ezekiel approaches and gives her a giant diamond. Zoey dejectedly sits in the corner]

Anne Maria: Ain’t this the life, Zo?

Zoey: No. Our backpack lights have turned RED, Anne. We need to get out of here or we’re going to die.

Anne Maria: Oh hush, the collapse already happened. Besides, we’re rich. I’d think being waited on hand and foot by giant mole rats would be better than whatever else you got goin’ on in your life.

Zoey: Don’t you get it Anne? Even if we don’t get crushed by the cavern collapsing, this whole place is gonna fill up with toxic radiation any minute now!

Anne Maria: What are you talkin’ about?

Zoey: I’m saying if we stay here your “Beauty and the Beast” fairytale is going to turn into “Beast and the Beast.”

Anne Maria: [She glances at her reflection in the giant diamond.] Oh gawd, I can’t lose my gorgeous looks! [She looks at Zoey.] I think mutation would be an improvement for you though.

Zoey: Save the insults for later, we need to leave before-

Ezekiel: LEeeeEEAAaaaAAVING...? Eh? [He growls. The giant mole rats begin to growl at the girls too.]

Anne Maria: Uh, nice knowin’ ya! [Anne grabs Zoey’s wrist and runs out of the cavern. The mole rats and Ezekiel chase them]

Zoey: What’s going on? Are they chasing us? We are so gonna die!

Anne Maria: Don’t worry, I’ll be our eyeeee- [the girls suddenly run over an active geyser, shooting them both upwards] -esssAAAHHHHHH!!!

[The mole rats and Ezekiel stop in their tracks. Zeke snaps his fingers. The mole rats also snap their fingers.]

[meanwhile, Mary and Mike are inching forward]

Mike: We’ve been walking for ages… we may just want to take our chances and die here.

Mary: Yeah, until it actually happens. [points out his triangle] We’re both at orange.

Mike: There’s no point.

Mary: [slaps Mike]

Mike: OW!

Mary: Get a grip! Ya here me? I DIDN’T RAISE A SLACKER! We still have plenty of life in us left!

Mike: I don’t know if you’re trying to be mean or inspirational… but it kind of worked. Thanks. I needed that.

Mary: [taken off guard] W-well… just go! [begins walking forward till she hits a wall, the wall crumbles, revealing an area, and a treasure chest hanging from the ceiling]

Mike: Woah, Mary… look!

Mary: [readjusting] Huh? Oh my god… WE WON! Haha! Yeah! Told you I could easily lead a team. [smirks]

Mike: I’m just going to ignore your arrogance and celebrate with you! Woohoo!

Mary: [glares]

Brick: Heeeey! What’s up fellow teammates?

Molly: [makes eye contact with Mike]

Mike: [freezes]

Mary: Great, I was hoping I’d be the only one to make it out alive. [seethes]

Brick: Well, sorry to burst your bubble. For all we know, everyone could be out already!

[suddenly, mine carts come rolling down, carrying four of the rats]

Dawn: Greetings adversaries!

Mary: [annoyed] Didn’t know we had a rat infestation in this mine.

Lightening: Cool it wit’ yo attitude, Man-ry!

Mary: [growls and begins to lunge at him, before Brick and Mike hold her back]

Molly: [raises eyebrow]

Staci: But where are the others?

Scott: We don’t have time to waste, we need to think of a solution now. Hey, maybe they already got out!

Scott: [CONF] Nah, they’re probably dead. It’s a shame but hey, that’s ⅓ of the competition gone! … [smile slowly fades to unease]

Dakota: [waves] Hey, hey, hey! Did you miss us?

B: [waves]

Lightening: About time you showed up! The Maggots already found the treasure!

Dakota: Oh, really? Then why don’t we just...take it? [Dakota pulls the treasure off the hook] Last one out is a radioactive egg! [runs away]

Mary: Hey, she can’t just do that! Stop her, maggots! [points]

Brick: Ahem.

Mary: Oh, right. Sorry.

Mary: [CONF] Really getting sick of this whole “not the leader” thing…

Mike: She’s right though, we gotta do something!

Brick: Well, this is no time for standing around! Let’s get our treasure back, team! [Brick, Mary, Mike and Molly all chase after Dakota]

Dawn: We mustn’t let her fight them off alone! [B, Dawn, Lightening, Scott, and Staci run after the Maggots]

Brick: [chasing after Dakota] My mother always taught me to never attack a woman, but this might be the one scenario in which it’s appropriate. I’m sorry!!! [Brick tackles Dakota to the ground, knocking the treasure out of her hands]

Mary: Mike, grab it!

Mike: [picks up the treasure] I-I got it! Yeah! [B body slams him to the ground]

Mary: [facepalms] That’s the last time I trust him with something so important.

Mike: [CONF] I think I broke about 18 bones. [holds up a limp wrist] Make that 19.

Lightening: [picks up the chest and runs with it] Aww yeah, time for the Lightening to bring home the bac-[is tripped by Molly]-oow.

[Staci pushes Molly over and sits on her. She hands the chest to Dawn who is running from Mary.]

Scott: Go long! [Dawn throws the chest to Scott as she is pushed over by Mary.]

Scott: [snickers] Ehehehehe!

Brick: HALT! I am sorry sir but this chest belongs to the Maggots! [Brick swipes the chest and turns around, only to get kneed in the kiwis by Dawn. He keels over.] Mommy… Dawn: Oh, dear. My apologies. Once we get out I’ll make sure to aid you in finding an ice pack.

Dakota: Um… oops. [Mary punches her in the face]

[The cast erupts in a pile of madness, everyone punching, strangling, and pulling at eachothers’ hair. Eventually, a loud splashing noise catches them off guard enough for the chest to fly out of the pile. It slides over to two pairs of feet.]

Anne Maria: Well, what you look at dat! [picks up the chest] It’s like I got two prizes for the price of one.

Lightening: Hey, that’s our chest! Give it back!

Anne Maria: Sorry Light, no can do. You may be one fine lookin hunk of meat but we got a challenge to win. Later.

Lightening: [gasps]

Mary: Finally, someone on this team is doing something useful! Come on team!

Mike: Hey! You’re not our lead-

Mary: JUST MOVE IT! [The other maggots wriggle out of the pile up and hustle over to Anne and Zoey]

Brick: We can escape by following this minecart track out of the top of the mine. Come on soldiers! [The Maggots all hop in the mine carts. Brick jumps in back and looks ready to push them but stops suddenly.] We’re missing a member of our platoon!

Mary: Who cares? We got the treasure, let’s go!

Brick: Rule number one of the military code! Never leave a soldier behind!

Anne Maria: Huh? Who we missin’?

[Anne sees Zoey passed out on the floor, her radiation checker has turned BLACK.]

Anne Maria: [gulps] Dat ain’t good.

Anne Maria: [CONF] That girl Zoey can be a total priss sometimes but you know what? She’s still my girl, and I couldn’t just let her die in there.

Anne Maria: I’m going back for her! Hold this! [throws the diamond and the chest on top of Mike, crushing him]

Mary: Oh no you don’t! What are you doing?

Molly: [watches the chaos around her surmount]

Mary: [yells at Brick] What are you waiting for? We have the chest, just MOVE!

Brick: I’m not going anywhere without my teammates!

Scott: Oh, really? Well, it’s a good thing all the rest of us are here. [The camera pans out to reveal the Rats are all stuff into carts of their own.] So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be taking that! [pulls the treasure chest off of Mike] Yoink!

Mary: [blows her whistle] Foul play!

Scott: All is fair in love and mineshafts. Now MUSH! [Lightening starts running, pulling the carts along with him. Before the Maggots can do anything, they’re gone. Treasure in tow.]

Molly: [CONF] [talking to her pet rock] Yes Baxter, I agree. He will come to regret that decision.

Anne Maria: [runs back, Zoey’s limp body over her shoulders] What’d I miss?

Mary: What’d you miss? WHAT DID YOU M-

Brick: It was nothing. What’s important is that we’re all safe. Now let’s get outta here already! [Anne Maria throws Zoey into the cart before jumping in herself, and Brick pushes them out of the mine.]

—-

[Outside the mineshaft. Chris and Chef are relaxing on lawn chairs and sipping out of coconut drinks.]

Chris: So...what do you think the odds are that they all died?

Chef: I’d give them 10 to 1.

Chris: You are on, my man! [shakes his hand]

[Suddenly, a large amount of carts come flying out of the top of the mine. The first team out with all their members and the chest is…]

Chris: The Radioactive Rats! Congratulations, not only have you won today’s coveted immunity, but also your choice of anything on the menu from Cheesy McGrubhubs. “Cheesy McGrubhubs, if life doesn’t kill you, our burgers definitely will!”

[The entire Maggots team lands on top of the Radioactive Rats. The Rats all groan in unision]

Chris: Wow, is that the best response you could give me? Fine! No reward for you! But Maggots, you’re still going to elimination tonight. See you soon.

[Zoey begins to wake up in the infirmary]

Zoey: [rubbing head] Huh…

Anne Maria: Finally, youse wake up!

Mike: [hugs Zoey] Thank goodness you’re okay!

Zoey: Wh-what happened.. Am I in narnia?

Anne Maria: No ya moran, we’re in the infirmary! You passed out after all the radiation intake, but you’re all aight now. May need some life consuming therapy but otherwise you are all good! [sprays hairspray]

Mike: [puts hands on Anne Maria’s shoulder] Anne here saved your life!

Zoey: [shocked] Really?

Anne Maria: Oh, it was nothin’. I’m gonna be honest … I’ve always been a jelly of how goody two shoe and chill you are. I wish I could be all go-with-the-flow like dat. I’m just not. I’m prideful and loud, BUT with everything we been through, I knew this was a chance to turn over a new leap or whateva’ it’s called.

Anne Maria: [CONF] From now on, I want to practice GRA-TI-TUDE! So, whenever I do something nice I am going to like, applaud myself for it. [sprays hairspray] Nice job, Miz Anne Maria, you look HAWT. See? I’m practically Oprah now.

Zoey: Well, thank you so much. I am not sure I’d consider myself a role model but it means a lot to me that you did that. I am forever in your debt.

Anne Maria: Neat, how about we start with the hair.

Zoey: [furrows brow] Don’t push it.

Anne Maria: I’m just teasin’ ya, legs… but if we’re on the subject then-

Mike: What are you guys thinking for the vote?

Zoey: [sighs] I feel like it’s all of my fault that we lost. If I didn’t-

Anne Maria: Don’t even with that hoard of garbage! You didn’t do anything wrong. But you know what is wrong? The fact that Mary has more hair on her legs than her head. She has got ta GO!

Zoey: But you know who I think is even worse? Molly. She gives me such an unsettling feeling. Plus, she never sleeps, do you notice that? She’s like an anti-narcoleptic siren of death.

Anne Maria: Oh, I am completely fine with sending Molly packin’ back to the homeless shelter she came from!

Mike: [sheepishly grins]

Zoey: [gleeful] I already feel better. Looks like we’re in for a friendship alliance 2.0?

Anne Maria: You betcha. [winks]

Mike: Totally.

Mike: [CONF] More like, NOT totally. I can’t vote Molly or she’ll reveal to Zoey that I like her. I need more time. She’s still recuperating from her incident… I’m going to have to just stick with my guts right now but it’s not looking good. [sigh] Why couldn’t I have just died in the mine?

[Brick and Mary meet by the campfire.]

Mary: So, what did you call me here for? You want to apologize for costing us the challenge?

Brick: What? No. We need to discuss your attitude. I understand that stepping down as the leader might be difficult for you, but that does not give you the right to remain so self-motivated! I may be the leader, but at the end of the day we are a team. We win as a team, we lose as a team. If you can’t accept that, then I’m afraid I cannot continue to support your inclusion in this team.

Mary: And as leader, you would rather have us LOSE when we had the opportunity for victory?

Brick: I stand by my decision. Who knows what could’ve happened if we left Anne and Zoey in there? They might not even be Anne and Zoey anymore!

Mary: You’re a joke. Victory should always come first, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner we’ll start winning challenges by our own merit.

Brick: This is absolutely unacceptable. I refuse to tolerate this kind of behavior from you any longer.

Mary: Then don’t. [she walks off]

Mary: [CONF] If Molly wasn’t already a major thorn in my side I’d be voting off Admiral Annoying. Who does he think he is anyways? Nobody can lead better than I can!

Brick: [CONF] [sighs] I’ve tried my best, but her behavior is way out of line. It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that Mary needs to be dishonorably discharged from the Mutant Maggots.

[in the mess hall, Dakota, B, and Staci are all playing go fish]

Staci: You have four blue clovers?

B: [shakes head]

Staci: Damn. Go fish!

Dakota: This game is like, so cool. I didn’t know poor people could offer such intriguing entertainment!

[B and Staci look at her disapprovingly]

Dakota: [facepalm] Sorry, I’m still getting used to this whole “putting myself on other people’s level” thing. Do you think my entourage will hate me FOREVER now for endangering their lives? I know living is like important or whatever, but so is my career!

Staci: Naaaah, you’ll be fine. As long as you’re drop dead gorgeous, they’ll be willing to drop dead for you.

Dakota: Ahw, that’s so sweet! A little sinister, but still, sweet!

Lightening: [walks into the mess hall, sweating] Phew! That was one workout! Lightening need to get his own monument or something to commemorate each and every one of his muscles. [kisses his biceps] Just walked in on the pooper party I see! Not fair that Lightening has to share the mess hall with y’all at night when this would be the perfect place to do my sha-exercises

Dakota: Ugh, what do YOU want? Don’t you have a can of protein to stick your head into like you’re some like, uh… cow or something? [laughs and nudges B] I hope the mics caught that.

B: [smiles at her bragadociousness]

Lightening: If y’all worked out more, you wouldn’t break a sweat playing your stupid fishy game!

Staci: Maybe true. How about this, you face us in a water relay race, and we’ll retreat from the mess hall from now on?

Lightening: [smirks] Sounds like a deal to me. Y’all won’t know what HIT you when Lightening come down!

Dakota: What? Are you like, loca, Stace Stace? [coocoo gesture] His abs have abs!

B: [looks at Staci, questionably]

Staci: Relax, guys. I know the exact spot.

Staci: [CONF] Back when I thought I was getting booted I went on a long walk which allowed me to see a lot of the island. Specifically, a pond with a lot of special visitors

[the four teammates walk in the dark night, leading up to the pond, Dakota looks at it uneasily]

Dakota: Are you sure ab-

Staci: [winks at Dakota]

Lightening: Pfft, you expect to win in these? Watch and learn, ladies and B. [dives into the pond, immediately swimming fast until he slowly starts slowing] Wh-which one of you are brushing against me? LIGHTENING DIDN’T CONSENT! [the noise causes all of the mutated frogs to awaken and he starts getting attacked by a excess amount of the wildlife and begins screaming] AAAAAAAAH HELPPP!

Staci: [yells for Lightening to hear] Oh, be careful!I heard there might be some special guests in there.

Dakota: Oh my gosh.. Staci, you DIDN’T! [laughs] You’re such a bad girl!

Staci: I learned from the best. [high fives Dakota]

B: [can’t help but smirk a little]

[the three walk off, engaging in warm conversation as Lightening’s shrieks blend in with the sound of the night]

[back in the Rat’s suite, Scott is looking around the girls’ room]

Scott: [CONF] There’s an idol out there, an idol I need to make sure no one else has. Everyone’s off doing their own thing tonight, so I wanted to do a little, heh, check up on the girls and see if any of them stumbled upon it.

Scott: [anxiously ripping through things and pulls out plus-size lingerie] Sheesh, never knew Staci was such a freak. [suddenly he hears a noise and pipes down immediately]

Scott: Wh-who’s there… [crawls on all fours trying to reach the other room before he hears more talking, and makes it out as Dawn, he walks towards the door to the terrace]

[Dawn is outside on the terrace, gazing at the moon in her nightgown, in meditation position]

Scott: [slouches down]

Dawn: Moon, please shine down and beam me with the strength to stay focused. Keep me strong. Let me absorb your light and bless me with your powers. Don’t let me wilt in this depressive winter abyss. Keep my energy bright.

Scott: [looks down] What is she doing…

Dawn: [taken offguard] H-huh? Scott?

Scott: Crap!

Dawn: What are you doing here?

Scott: Uuuuh… I, uh, I could say the same for you!

Dawn: That is none of your business.

Scott: I thought you were out with everyone else playing that game, or something!

Dawn: And that makes it okay for you to snoop around in other’s living arrangements? You should be ashamed! I thought we talked about this… I was in the middle of something very important and when I cannot cleanse myself from negative energy I have a tendency to get rather [loudly] PEEVED.

Scott: [shocked] Did you just… yell? What’s this about negative energy? Is that some witch thing? I'm Protestant.

Dawn: … I am sorry, Scott. Truly. I should not have raised my voice. It was completely immature… you may now continue on your deviance, I don’t mind.

Scott: Well, now that I’m here, why don’t you tell uncle Scott what this whole “cleansing” thing is.

Dawn: You would not understand. No one does. I do not know if I want someone too. It is my burden.

Scott: Fine, play hard to get… [begins to walk away before turning back] You realize this only hurts you, right? You spend so much time lending help to others that you ignore YOU. That’s just not healthy there, m’lady. But yeah, whatever. I’m out. [continues to walk off]

Dawn: Scott, wait.

Scott: [looks back at here] What? Is my “aura looking too blue for my own good” or something?

Dawn: Listen, I am very gifted with my senses, the only thing is I pick up energy so frequently that it depletes mine. Why do you think I prefer to stay secluded often? I need to compose myself, or I get chaotic and just generally, fatigued. I must hold myself together, for myself. What you said in the mine - about me being perfect, it’s not true. I’m just a teenager like everyone else. I want to be surrounded by everyone and having fun, but it’s just not within reach of me.

Scott: Dawn… you don’t have to-

Dawn: Silence, please. I don’t need pity, nor advice. Something else has presented itself as a bigger conundrum. There appears to be a very dark individual amongst our midst.

Scott: Hey, Lightening may be annoying and all, but isn’t it kind of offensive to call him “dark”?

Dawn: [facepalm] Not Lightening. I meant dark on the inside, to the point where it is dangerous. It worries me because I have sensed they’ve been slowly plotting to destroy this island. Think about it - the mine did not collapse for no reason. There had to have been some underlying cause.

Scott: No offense, Dawn, but I think you’re being quite ri-

Dawn: [makes eye contact with Scott]

Scott: Listen. What are you wanting?

Dawn: I cannot just search for this person on my own, I need someone who is sly, slick, other adjectives to describe someone who is rather malicious.

Scott: So, you’re basically having me as your spy?

Dawn: Shall we go with “aligned for the greater good of humanity”?

Scott: Whatever you want, toots.

Dawn: If this is going to work, I will need you to understand that I need you to have faith and also focus on not continuing with your shady exterior.

Scott: I make no promises. [chuckles]

Dawn: [raises eyebrow] Now, please, go before I second guess myself.

Scott: [walks off whistling]

Dawn: [CONF] Most would assume I am delirious for employing Scott as aid for my mission, but he is admittedly crafty and I know he has a heart under those many, many, many layers of odorous cellophane.

—-

[late at night, the Mutant Maggots are all getting ready to head out to the elimination ceremony]

[scren focuses in on the girls’ side]

Zoey: [brushing hair]

Anne Maria: Zamn girl, you needta lend me that brush! Mine got eaten by those little hazordous worms I’ve been tellin’ ya about.

Zoey: No problem.

Mary: [staring outside]

Anne Maria: [looks over at Mary] What’s bothering you, tall, blonde, and butch?

Mary: I have a very bad feeling about tonight.

Anne Maria: Oh, relax. There’s no way you are going home! Me, Mike, and Zoey are all voting Molly with you. Be thankful by the way, it took heavy bribing to get me to do that. [picks up a new item that has appeared in her inventory, a spray tan machine and hugs it] Mwah!

Mary: Yeah…

[meanwhile, outside, Molly is seen talking with Brick]

Molly: You are on board with my plan, right. I don’t want to be disappointed after what occured in the mine.

Brick: Absolutely! Mary has gotten on my nerves for the FINAL instance! No longer shall I let her belittle me with her, uh… belitting attitude!

Mike: [walks out of the boys cabin] H-hey guys!

Molly: Good luck at the camp ceremony tonight, Mike. We were just discussing the vote. We’ve decided to vote Mary.

Mike: I see… [scratches head]

Molly: Hopefully everything goes smoothly, or secrets might just come into fruitation.

Mike: [nods] Definitely don’t want that to happen! Haha!

Brick: [laughs uncontrollably]

[both Mike and Molly look at him oddly]

Brick: What? I thought you guys were referencing some inside joke…

Chris: Welcome to ANOTHER elimination ceremony, Maggots. Not so good for your self-esteem now, huh?

Mary: Can it, McLean.

Chris: Anyways, Zoey, you’re completely recovered now and exempt from giving us a lawsuit, so how does it feel to be back in action?

Zoey: Since I almost lost my life, I sort of realized the important things in life. Rocking out to Weezer and reading Sylvia Plath.

Mike: Ahw, you’re so well-cultured…

Zoey: I know. Thanks.

Chris: Anne Maria, how did the one-on-one aspect of the challenge affect your relationships?

Anne Maria: We got to like… party n’ stuff even though we come from different lifestyles or whateva’. I actually made a good friend. [smiles at Zoey]

Chris: Mary, how did it feel being downgraded from being the leader? [snickers]

Mary: No comment.

Chris: Brick, now that you’ve been around your teammates for a while, does it feel like a family?

Brick: Definitely! My troop can always be counted on for support. We’re all so vast but all care so deeply for eachother.

Chris: Molly, do you have anything to add? Molly: [blinks]

Chris: Alright, well then I suppose its time to get to the votes.

Mary: [holds up ballot that says “MOLLY” in red caps] I don’t know what you got up your sleeve and I DON’T plan on finding out.

Brick: [writing down a “M”]

Molly: [holds up ballot that says “MARY”] Checkmate.

Mike: [nervously writing down a name] Darned if I do, darned if I don’t.

Chris: Alright, it’s time to read the votes, one-by-one! [pulls out ballot] Mary.

Mary: [holds her same expression]

Chris: [flips vote] Molly.

Molly: [blankly looks at the vote]

Chris: [flips vote] Mary.

Mary: [breathes in]

Chris: [flips vote] Molly. 2-2.

Chris: [slowly flips vote] Molly. We’re at 3-2, in favour of Molly.

Mary: [sigh of relief]

Chris: The third person voted off is…

[the pause continues, causing anticipation]

Chris: Not yet determined. [flips vote, revealing it to be for Mary]

Mary: [completely flabbergasted]

Anne Maria: Woah, woah, woah. Something smells fishy to me!

Mike: [grimaces]

Chris: Because of this, er, situation, we’ll now hold a revote.

[one by one, the remaining team members not involved in the tie come up and begin writing down a name]

Chris: Alright, it’s time to read the votes. [picks up ballot] Molly.

Chris: [flips vote] Another for Molly.

Mary: [sweating slightly]

Brick: [biting nails]

Molly: [talking to her pet rock, Baxter] It’s alright.

Chris: [flips vote] Mary.

Chris: The final vote and the third person voted off… [flips vote, revealing it is for Mary] is going to be determined by a marshmallow draw since we are deadlocked. Mary and Molly are now immune.

Anne Maria: Oh my gad, seriously?

Zoey: I already went through one near death experience today, I didn’t need another.

Brick: Wait, how does this work?

Chris: You’ll all draw a marshmallow from this bag. They’re all white, except for one. Whoever gets the green marshmallow is getting hurled to loserville.

Mike: Oh, man… [sighs]

Mary: Serves half of you right for trying to send me home.

[one by one, the vulnerable contestants stick their hand in a bag and grab a marshmallow]

Chris: Alright, three… two… one… reveal!

Mike: White...

Brick: White! [flicks marshmallow in his mouth]

Anne Maria: [looks at Zoey] I am so sorry, doll…

Zoey: [hugs Anne Maria] I’m going to miss you. I wish we had more time together.

Anne Maria: I have it. [shows Chris the green marshmallow]

Chris: Well, it appears there is nothing left to do. Anne Maria, it’s time to go, THAT-a-way! [points to the hurl of shame]

Anne Maria: Wait, let me have my last words.

Chef: [begins to haul her off]

Anne Maria: EY! I SAID LET ME HAVE MY LAST WORDS!

Chef: [lets go and curls up into a ball]

Anne Maria: [brushes herself off] Anyway, I came into this game purely for superficial reasons, and sometimes I acted kind of, rude or whateva’ and I just want to apologize. Spending time with you all has helped me realize my true calling - helping otha’s! If I can prevent just one girl from getting a mullet, I’ll have made a difference. Thank y’all, from the bottom of my heart.

[the Maggots all hug her and the scene transitions to the dock]

Brick: I’m so sorry you had to go like this soldier, we’ll win it for you. [salutes]

Mike: Don’t forget to say hi to Cam for me!

Mary: I’m not one for mushy gushy stuff but … you served us well.

Zoey: [tearing up] I spent so much time h-hating you and n-now… I just feel like h-hating myself.

Anne Maria: Ahw, baby don’t cry. You still have a lot of game left to play. It’s time for Auntie Anne to make her exit, aight? Now stay strong and win this for me! [blows her a kiss] Okay, I think I am read-

Chris: [hurls her off] Bye, bye.

Zoey: She wasn’t finished! Ugh! This show perpetuates the sexist silencing of women. [stomps off]

[the rest of the Maggots follow suit, leaving Chris and Chef on the end of the dock]

Chris: Listen, the network needs this show to finish our runtime or we’re going to get cut off the air!… anywho, where are we now? Oh yeah, with tensions rising across the map, what will BECOME of this meticulous mess of a season? I’ll let you in on a little secret… we’re about to switch things up a little. [chuckles] You’ll find out the full story the next time, on TOTAL… DRAMA… RELOADED!

AN: Phew, that was a lot wasn't it? Eliminating Anne Maria was so difficult because of how much we enjoyed writing her but in the context of the season, it just made sense. Thaaank you for sitting through all of that first of all and second of all, what're your thoughts of the plots that are brewing? Any winner picks you're calling early? Give us aaaaall your feedback in the comments, we appreciate it so much!