User:Rainbowderp01/The Bold and the Booty-ful (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama All-Stars... the final five went on a slippery, saucy, sundae shopping spree with extra "are you nuts"? Speaking of slips, Courtney probably should've destroyed her incriminating chart before Mike got his hands on it. Or is he Mal, now and forever? Either way, thanks to his latest dirty trick, Zoey won the challenge and Courtney got the watery boot. Four players remain, but not for long.

[fart]

Chris: Heh heh. Okay. Who's going to the finale?

[fart]

Chris: And who's going to get a bacterial infection if someone doesn't stop using the Flush of Shame?!

[Sasquatchanakwa snarls]

Chris: Seriously, bro. We put people in there. It's all or nothing time right here, on Total. Drama. All-Stars!

[fart]

Chris: Ew...

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[ Theme song ]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Scott: I can't believe Courtney's gone. Now who's gonna yell at me and make me do stuff I don't wanna do?

Mal: [as Mike] You two really had a good thing going. Until Gwen messed it all up.

Scott: Yeah, she did, didn't she?

Gwen: [confessional] I'm the last original cast member left on the island. Yay me! But if I'm gonna make it to the finale, I'll need a few allies. [real time] Hey, Scott. How are you holding up?

Scott: Pfft. What do you care?

Gwen: Sorry, I--

Scott: I don't want your pity. I want your head on a platter!

Gwen: But I just--

Scott: You're just gonna pay is what!

Gwen: [confessional] So much for making nice with Scott.

Scott: [confessional] Yelling at Gwen won't bring Courtney back, but it sure feels good. Plus, now that I'm the only real villain left on the island, I've got a duty to turn everyone else up until their as whipped and stinky as mawmaw's goat butter! Man, I miss her cooking.

Mal: [confessional] The million dollars is in my grasp. And still, no one has a clue that I'm not really Mike. [chuckles] I'm gonna use the prize money to live like a real villain. In a tower. Preferably overlooking a volcano.

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[Mike's mind]

Vito: I hope we hit the club district soon.

Chester: Nah, you ninny. If this place has a club district, I'll eat my pants! Without any catsup! Unless you've got some on ya. Quit holdin' out!

[fire crackling]

Mike: Manitoba! Finally!

Manitoba: Can't talk now. Big quota to fill.

Mike: What's Mal making you do?

Manitoba: See those clouds? Them's your dreams. My jobs to get rid of them so you can never enjoy 'em again. [grunts]

Mike: [gasps] It's the dream I had about kissing Zoey in the rain! Aw, I loved that dream!

Svetlana: So romantical!

Mike: Ah! Don't do that!

Manitoba: Love to, mate. But Mal's the boss.

Mike: Ugh! As soon as I regain control, the first thing I'm gonna do is find Zoey and give her a real kiss. One that Mal won't be able to ruin! Ah, c'mon! Stop burning up my dreams!

Manitoba: Ah, well. We all gotta go sometime.

Mike: Don't you wanna be free?

Manitoba: But even if we could beat Mal, that would just put you back in charge. So, how's that make me free?

Vito: No way, he's right. Why should you get all the control?

Mike: 'Cause I'm the first. The original.

Chester: Huh. Where's the proof?

Mike: Right here. See?

Svetlana, Chester, and Vito: [gasp]

Mike: [gasps] Mal? No!

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[ding]

Zoey: Strange.

Chris: I am so bored! I miss my cottage!

Zoey: You mean mansion? Anyway, I was trying to--

Chris: Did you know the soap here is made of soap? What am I, a peasant? And six-hundred thread count bedsheets? It's like sleeping on sandpaper!

Zoey: Okay, I'd love to chat more, but uh, I-I'm about to have a bathroom emergency. The explosive kind.

Chris: Ugh! Way to overshare!

Zoey: Phew. Okay, where was I?

[tap]

Chris: Oh. Alejandro did say look in the art.

[on screen]

Cameron: [screams] Ow! Whoa!

Zoey: [real life] [gasps] So this is Mal?

Mike: [on screen] [confessional] [grunts] [deep inhale] [as Mal] [chuckles]

[zap]

[crash]

Zoey: [on screen] Mike! Oh... [real life] Oh no. Surely he hasn't been Mal this whole time! [confessional] I can't believe how long Mike's been Mal! Ugh, I feel like such a fool for not realizing sooner!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Good morning, final four! Gather on the dock pronto-roony-o! It's crunch time! And by that, I mean you're about to get crunched. [chuckles]

Mal: [as Mike] So, did you sleep well?

Zoey: Not as well as you might think.

Mal: [as Mike] Look, I know it's been tough for you to trust me this year, but I really am back in the driver's seat now! Have been since the boat race, and it's all thanks to you. I promise, I'm the same Mike who gave you that bracelet last year.

Zoey: Yeah, I wasn't sure who you were sometimes, but now I know. [confessional] Mike gave me a necklace, Mal. Not a bracelet, you weasel.

Chris: Ahoy, mateys! Argh. Come to me, faithful bird! Oh, c'mon, stop frowning. You look great, you know it. Hey, if you don't wanna be here, then... that isn't what I was gonna say! [sighs] Sorry. I-It's just life is so hard in the spa hotel. I'm sick of roughing it. And since I'm craving the comforts of home, I've come up with a special challenge? Your mission? To retrieve one of four valuable pieces of pirate loot stashed somewhere on the island.

Scott: Pfft. As if there's anything valuable around here.

Chris: [scoffs] [pirate voice] There's plenty if you know what you're looking for!

Gwen: [confessional] Chris' idea of valuable is pretty skewed. He's such an ego-maniac, his most prized possession is himself.

Chris: To determine who searches for what, each player will choose one of these four treasure chests.