User blog:DramaDot/Food Fright Review

Food Fright Review


'''This is the weirdest photo I could find of Food Fright, though I’m sure there are others. '''

'''Welcome to YOUR DOOM. Prepare yourselves for yet another review of Total Drama All Stars. Today, I’m reviewing Episode Four, Food Fright. I chose to post this review today because the opening photo looks like me on New Year's Eve. Ready, set, go!'''

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'''Okay, so we get the recap. Why does Chris say that last episode was “very special”? The Heroes don’t really have a “winning streak” since they’ve only won twice in a row. They’re clearly the favored team by the writers, even though the Villains are clearly superior. I wouldn’t be surprised if we have an all-Hero finale, though what do I know? '''

'''Theme song. Na na na na na na naaaa why does Zoey have a green swimsuit? Alejandro looks so confident it’s scary. Heather’s ponytail looks weird in water, which brings up the question: does she use hair extensions? This is a very well thought out theory of mine that has kept me awake for hours at night since it was first proposed by Gwen in World Tour. What kind of ponytail looks like my tennis partner doing the worm on hot concrete? '''

'''This episode was written by Laurie Elliot. Doesn’t she also voice Jo?'''

'''We’re in the Villainous Vultures’ cabin with Alejandro and Scott, who are the only boys left on their team after Duncan got switched to the Hippos. Alejandro with sawdust-gruel on his soul patch looks weird. Did he buy his sleeping bag at REI? Or IKEA?? Chef throws a body in a trash bag down on the ground and it explodes into more gruel. Not sure what to make of Alejandro’s comment on the girls, so I’ll just scream over it.'''

'''Scott comes to the girls’ cabin with a bucket to hit Courtney over the head with. Instead of doing that like I expected, he eats gruel off of Courtney’s head. Yes, Courtney, make an alliance with Scott! He’s the saving grace of this season so far. I predict that he’ll make it to the merge. '''

'''Back to the Heroes, who plan to ambush their latest member in the wee hours of the morning. Sierra’s giggle sounds super weird. '''

“Duncan on Team Hero; the fans will lose it!” 

'''You’ve already lost it, Sierra. It’s an interesting plot twist, but I doubt it will go far. Wait, Duncan, I thought the happiest day of your life was Happy Nude Year!'''

'''Wow, Mal broke Sierra’s phone! Now Sierra will REALLY lose it. I bet she’ll be voted off this episode. Is Mal going to do anything other than break stuff? As cool as it is, all it’s doing is making people mad. Though maybe making Sierra mad is the key to getting her eliminated. She has 500 Cody pics on her phone? Also, she just imagined Zoey, Sam, Duncan, and Mike as Cody. Now she has six boyfriends, including Cameron and the real Cody. What is it with contestants and monogamy?'''

'''Awwww, Gwen’s crying about Courtney, who happens to be eavesdropping on her. She even brought an umbrella. That’s kind of rude and creepy, girl. '''

'''The rain magically stops, so Chris calls all the campers out for the challenge. Glad to know that Alejandro and Heather are alive. Cameron returns from Boney Island soaked in bear pee. Wow, more toilet humor. I’m laughing SO HARD right now that it REALLY HURTS. Yeah.'''

'''The challenge is an eating one? Not digging the creativity so far this season. The Vultures get the sound of Scott eating for their...um...notice or whatever? That’s fun. '''

'''Bouncy Butts? Excuse me?? '''

'''Scott’s not impressed, so Chris makes him impressed by adding the Salad Spinner thing. You’d think that Chef and Chris would have time to test out this kind of stuff, but I guess they never do.'''

'''Wait, now Scott’s hitting on Courtney? This has come out of nowhere. Heather just smiles randomly while Courtney tries to wrap her head around Scott in general. I can’t do it either. Good luck, C.  '''

'''So, who’s going to go first? Sierra gets a head start for the Heroes because Alejandro’s too busy pointing at Heather’s legs.'''

“We need a team leader...and I think it should be you.”

'''OOOOH WHY DO YOU THINK THAT, HUH? HUH??!! Seriously, is there any strategic reason behind that other than because he likes her? Get moving, Villains! Sierra’s a fast eater! Yes, Alejandro, cater your appetite to Heather’s needs, lol. His neck is really stretchy. All he takes is like one bite and now he has food all over his face. Nice…'''

'''Al gets attacked by rats. Delicious! Sierra eats fish eyes then vomits. Hope she didn’t vomit on the pancake. Cameron takes Sierra’s place and starts eating.'''

'''On the sidelines, Gwen is distracted by what sounds like Duncan choking. He blows a kiss at her--wait what?! I’m just as surprised as he is. Not only do Duncans not sing, they also don’t blow kisses! '''

'''How is it that Alejandro’s neatly organized all the booby traps (right in front of the pancake, might I say) while Cameron has encountered no traps? Al moves on and completes the rest of the course with ease. Is this whole episode going to be just people swallowing their own vomit? Gross!'''

'''Scott is sick from eating too much gruel. That’s what you get from licking off the extra off the top of a bossy C.I.T.’s head. He does finger guns at Courtney’s head while she contemplates why she agreed to be on the show. '''

'''Why does everyone tell the pancake-eaters to run? They have ears; they can hear the alarm! Cameron doesn’t know how to run an obstacle course. You don’t fly above the problem like a superhero and then crash into a tree, you face the problem head on like a man/woman! Sierra managed to fix her phone with her mad skills. Is she using a coat hanger to get Wifi reception or whatever it is? '''

'''C’mon, Scott can’t be that heavy. They have to use rockets to kick him 30 feet? At least he survives the fall. Duncan gets his lips stuck in a mousetrap. That’s gotta hurt. He’s ALREADY good to go? Gwen’s been eating for twice as long as he has! Oh well. Courtney complains some more and Heather crosses her fingers behind her back. A deal to vote off Gwen? This could get interesting. '''

'''Chris has a pancake size analyzer? What is he using? Drones? Tiny camera in the pancake?'''

“It’s like two worms having a street fight down there!”  

'''Looooool, your lips are super weird, Duncan. That’s just sad. Gwen can’t just swallow her food again? Also just sad. What a coincidence that you two are running the course together… '''

'''Gwen gives up and vomits the day away on Duncan’s face. Sick is right, Chris. This challenge makes me wanna hurl at its poor design and sad appeal to toilet humor. Gwen is benched alongside Sierra. Where’d she get that bucket? '''

'''Mr. Mike goes next and gets a pass straight to the Salad Spinner. He’s totally a writer’s pet. Wow, there’s continuity! They remembered the green jelly from Season One! Yay!!!'''

'''Mike finishes, turns into Mal, and...rigs the Salad Spinner? Oh boy, poor Courtney! I wish Mal would do something other than break stuff and sabotage machinery.'''

'''Duncan recognizes Mike’s voice? Um...from the last season of Total Drama??'''

When did Heather start eating her pancake?

'''“Tag my designer boot! Do it!!”'''

'''Why is it necessary for Heather to tag your designer boot, Alejandro?? Any specific reason? Also, a designer boot, huh? Are all these contestants uber rich? Why do they need the million dollars, then? More designer boots? '''

'''Sam’s an eating machine. Mike acts like a therapist to Duncan, which doesn’t make sense because MIKE NEEDS A THERAPIST HIMSELF RIGHT NOW. Self-counseling, dude. Come on! '''

“I-I dood it wif my mouth!”

'''Good job, Sam. Now get to the obstacle course and have fun failing! This challenge is so “meh”. I’m done with it already. '''

'''Alejandro is insulted by Heather and Scott, which makes him mad so he inhales the rest of his pancake. Speeding things up…'''

Al insults Sam.

Sam gets mad.

Sam moves fast.

Sam wins course.

Nope, Al wins!

Nope, bee stings Al.

Sam wins!

Villains plan to vote out someone.

Sam reveals that he had been hiding pancake in his pockets.

Lol, big mistake!

Challenge is incomplete so the Villains win!

Scott goes to Boney Island.

Annnnnd Sam’s out!!

'''Okay, that was the most painful review so far. What looked like a promising challenge turned out...once again...to be a total fail. These All-Star challenges aren’t exactly All-Star.'''

Tune in next time for Episode Five, Moon Madness!