User:Rainbowderp01/Paintball Deer Hunter (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island... Both teams set out on a canoe trip to deadly Boney Island. Cody hit on Gwen about eighty times, but he made up for it by setting her up with the guy she actually wanted to hang with, Trent. Good strategy, bro. There were winners. And there were losers. Also known as, The Gophers. The last marshmallow was set to go to either Izzy or Lindsay, but the RCMP swooped in and bam! Izzy hightailed it outta there! [laughs] Man, I knew the girl was nuts, but I didn't know she was totally insane! However, one Gopher may have secretly done something even crazier when she brought home a creepy stick statue voodoo thingy from the deadly haunted island. Will Beth live to regret her souvenir? And can my teeth possibly get any whiter?

[ding]

Chris: Find out here on Total. Drama. Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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[helicopter blades]

Duncan: Oh! Hit the deck! They're coming, man! They found us!

Leshawna: Huh! Ooh! Ugh! Okay, that dude is really starting to get on my last nerve!

Heather: [yawns] Whatever. He just loves ruining our mornings. Beth, Lindsay, go warm up the shower for me. Now! And remember...

Beth: Not too hot this time, I know. [yawns]

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Girls: [groaning]

Bridgette: What's the holdup?

Lindsay: Heather needs her private time.

Leshawna: How long's queenie gonna be in there? I got urgent business!

Beth: She could still be a while.

Gwen: Ugh! That's it. I'm going lumberjack style.

[feedback]

Chris: [through loudspeaker] I hope you're ready for the most challenging challenge yet. Breakfast in three minutes at the campfire pit.

Beth: [knocking] Um, Heather?

Heather: Can one of you come in here and lotion my back? It's peeling!

[crickets chirp]

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Chris: Are you ready for today's extreme max impact challenge?!

Owen: We are ready! [laughs]

Chris: Incoming! This... is breakfast.

Heather: No, breakfast is crepes, croissants, even Chef's crappy burnt eggs.

Owen: Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you--

[thunk]

Chris: Today's challenge is about survival. We're going hunting.

Duncan: That's more like it.

Harold: Isn't that a paintball gun?

Chris: Why yes Harold. It is.

Harold: [grunts]

Bridgette: So we won't be killing anything?

Chris: Negatory. This is the first ever paintball deer hunt. I'll announce the team's once we get into the woods. So... finish breaky.

Owen: [burps loudly] Ahhh... Got any more?

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Chris: And now for the team breakdowns. The Killer Bass hunters are... Harold, Geoff, and Bridgette. Locked and loaded with bass blue paint. And using orange paint are the Gopher hunters, Leshawna, Beth, Owen, Lindsay.

Owen: Whahoo! This is awesome, man!

Chris: You also get these stylin' glasses and wicked camo caps! The rest of you are now deer. Here are your antlers, noses, and little white tails.

Heather: Yeah right. I am not wearing that.

Duncan: There is no way I'm a deer.

Chris: Take these off and your team is toast.

Owen: [chuckles]

Duncan: What are you lookin' at?

Owen: Oh, nothing. Bambi.

[snap]

Duncan: You'd better be a good shot, tubby.

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Courtney: At least we get a headstart.

DJ: I don't know about y'all. But I'm outta here.

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Gwen: [sighs] This may be the lamest thing I've ever done in my life.

Cody: Aw, c'mon. It could be fun. Okay, catch you later. [confessional] I was so psyched to be a deer. I'm small, but I'm quick. Lots of practice from dodging spitballs in math class.

Gwen: Are you coming?

Heather: No. I'm going to wait for Lindsay and Beth and make them protect me for the whole game.

Gwen: Wouldn't that be against the rules?

Heather: Do you see a rules person anywhere? Worry about your own fluffy tails.

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Harold: And break! Okay. You do realize that this is all just pretend, right? And that it's just paint? So say, if you... like, hit Heather...

Bridgette: Wait. Heather's a deer? Hohoho...

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Chris: [through loudspeaker] Start your paintballs! Game on!

Beth: All right! Let's go bag some deer!

Leshawna: Aha! I am down with that!

[splash]

Beth: What are you doing?

Owen: Masking my scent so the deer don't smell me coming.

Leshawna: Tell me that isn't...

Owen: Pee? Yes. Yes it is!

Beth: Ew!

Owen: I've got some more if you need some.

Beth: We're hunting other campers. You don't have to hide your scent.

Owen: You mean, I collected all this pee for nothing?

Lindsay and Beth: [screaming]

Leshawna: Dude. You are one sick ticket.

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