User:Rainbowderp01/I Love You, I Love You Knots (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama... the teams went wild with balloon animals. And not the kind you think. But in the end, Team Kinosewak went bust, and for the first time, they had to send a member home, so Amy told everyone that Samey was Lamey, but Samey posed as Amy, so Amy took the blamey. Shamey on Samey. Now, let's start the gamey. It's time for Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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Jasmine: [stretches]

[thudding]

Samey: Hey! You going foraging without me?

Jasmine: Gee, Amy, you've never gone foraging with me before. That was something Samey did. I.e., not you.

Samey: Right. I mean, foraging? Ew. I'd rather wear those shorts.

Jasmine: There's the Amy I know. Come on, then.

Samey: [confessional] I'm cool that Jasmine knows I'm not Amy, because we're pals.As for everyone else, I have to sound and look like my sister.

Shawn: Hi-yah! And that's how you hunt berries.

Dave: I guess that's one way.

Jasmine: Hey, Shawn. Wanna pick with us?

[rustling]

Dave: Whoa!

Samey: I think that was a no.

Shawn: [confessional] I know how dating works. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes your brain being eaten by a zombie baby that was hiding in your pillow!

Dave: [confessional] Call me crazy, but I think Amazon Outback Jasmine with the cool accent has a thing for the zombie guy Shawn, who doesn't bathe. This place is weird.

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Scarlett: Careful. Raccoon poop.

[loving music]

Scarlett: Are you all right? Your vacant stare suggests some manner of neurological arrest.

Rodney: [confessional] How'd Scarlett know I don't like stepping in poop? Of course it means something. Love! Aw, but I can't hurt Jasmine again. She'll be devastated.

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Samey: Hey, Rodney. Berries?

[loving music]

Samey: Uh, if you don't like berries, we did find some nuts.

Rodney: [confessional] Amy says hey? I say hey! All the time! Love is an arrow you can't dodge and I am pierced. [gasps] I've got three girlfriends! Which of my true loves is my truest love? [real time] Is it just me, or does Amy pick way better berries than Samey?

Samey: Ugh. Pretty sure they're the same.

Scarlett: Perhaps you had an involuntary gustatory association with Samey. And unpleasant tastes.

Max: Indeed. Her hideous malproportioned face was spoiling the fruit!

Samey: [growls]

[feedback]

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Morning, campers. It's time to start the day's fun activity. So, get your butts over to the meeting area tout de suite. [chuckles]

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Chris: Step right up, players. Team Kinosewak to the right, Team Maskwak to the left.

Ella: I'm saving you a seat, Sugar. [confessional] At times, my friendship with Sugar has seemeed tumultuous. But I think it's getting better!

Sugar: [confessional] I hate her. [real time] I know what you're up to, singy-pants. Gals who sit on the end always get less camera time. Push over!

Ella: [grunts] But I wasn't...

Chris: [chuckles] Nice try, Ella. Save your power plays for the game.

Ella: But... all right.

Chris: It's time we separated the brave from the liars. The game is Truth or Scare.

Topher: Hoo-hoo. Sounds nasty. Once again, Chris, you've delivered the goods. If I had a hat, it would be off to you.

Chris: Yes. Thank you, Topher. Now then, every round, a player is chosen at random. It also chooses whether you'll be doing a truth or a scare. Halo means truth, flames mean scare. Get a scare, and you'll have to perform a terrifying challenge.

[all gasp]

Chris: Don't worry. Not all the scares will be scary. Some will be disgusting. But in this case, Amy has gotten a truth. This means, she just has to answer a question honestly. But the answer will be revealing. It will expose a dark secret that could destroy her in the eyes of her newly found friends. Or not. Whatevs.

Samey: How will you know if we're telling the truth?

Chris: For that, we spared no expense. Meet Clucky. The truth seeking chicken. No lie gets past this bird. She's former CIA and runs her own law firm, Buck, Buck, and Bugawk. If you have a secret, this poultry polygraph will cluck it out.

[Clucky clucks]

Chris: Completing a challenge or telling the truth gets your team a point. But if you fail a challenge or tell a lie, you whole team gets a shock.

Dave: Um, what do you mean by shock? Also, what are these metal collars Chef's putting on us?

Chris: You just answered your question. But let me make it even clearer.

[electrical grunting]

Jasmine: You tested these, right?

Chris: Yup. I just did. And you're still alive. Congrats. Let's start the game. Amy?

Samey: [gulps]

[Clucky clucks]

Samey: [confessional] Are you kidding? I'm a walking lie! Ugh! I should've known they have a polygraph chicken!

Chris: Amy. Who do you dislike most?

[Clucky clucks]

Samey: Okay, okay. The person I hate most is... Amy!

[all gasp]

[Clucky clucks affirmatively]

Chris: Clucky says that was a truth.

[ding]

Topher: You hate yourself? Deep.

Chris: Care to explain, Amy?

Samey: Well, I, um...

Jasmine: I'll explain it!

Samey: Jasmine, no, please!

Jasmine: The truth is that Samey is not your fault, Amy. Don't hate yourself for your sister's shortcomings. You did what you could.

Topher: No one's blaming you for Samey's weirdoness.

Sugar: That girl was all bun, no hot dog.

Max: Reeked of failure.

Samey: Huh, okay, okay.