User:Rainbowderp01/Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama World Tour... Steeped in a tradition, Japan's modern allure is as fascinating as its rich history. Here, our competitors experienced Japan's innovative entertainment. And Harold celebrated Japan's role in the world of martial arts, which resulted in one of the longest eliminations in Total Drama history. Harold's sacrifice means we're three warriors down, fourteen to go with one million big ones up for grabs on Total. Drama. World Tour!

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[ Theme song ]

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Heather: [snoring]

Gwen and Courtney: [sigh]

Cody: [groans] Uh... wha?! Sierra, what are you doing?

Sierra: Everyone loves a foot massage.

Cody: Yeah, normally. But uh, I don't like having my feet touched.

Sierra: Did you know there's a pressure point between the tarsal bones that can temporarily paralyze the body?

Cody: Um, cool, but you can stop now. [confessional] Never fall asleep around a stalker. That's rule number one, heh. Where do you get those shoes with locks on 'em?

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Owen: [snoring]

DJ: Harold's num-yo? Where'd you find that?

Leshawna: Dang fool wanted me to have it.

DJ: I'm really sorry he's gone.

Chris: And how is everyone back here? That is what I'd ask if I cared. Coming through, make way.

Leshawna: Where are you taking us next? [scoffs] Can it please be someplace where there's no pinball of any kind?

DJ: Or pandas.

Noah: Or candied fish tails.

Owen: Huh? What? Fish tails? Where?

Chris: Our next destination is everything you've just asked for!

Sierra: [gasps] [confessional] Thanks to my extensive viewings and reviewings and re-reviewings of seasons one and two, I can safely say with no uncertainty that if Chris says one thing, he means another. Ah, classic Chris.

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[dinging]

[everyone screams]

Chef: We got some nasty air bumps. Lock your butts to a seat! Over!

Chris: You don't need to say "Over".

Chef: I like saying it. Over!

Owen: [screaming] We're gonna die! [gasps] [snoring]

[snap]

Noah: Perfect.

Chef: Should we stop messing with them and level out?

Chris: Um... nah.

Chris and Chef: [laughing]

[wheels screech]

[crash]

DJ: Ahh!

[everyone screams]

Owen: Ha ha! I'm alive!

Chris: Welcome to the Yukon! Ha ha ha!

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[everyone shuddering]

Heather: Um, hello? Where are our jackets?

Chris: Relax, I ordered coats for everyone.

[everyone cheers]

Chris: They won't be ready for weeks, but as soon as they arrive, I'll be sure to hand them out.

All: Aw...

Courtney: Maybe we should huddle for warmth?

Bridgette: [shudders] I h-have a boyfriend!

Owen: You can cuddle me, buddy!

Chris: Little chilly without mittens.

Chef: Cocoa?

Chris: Don't mind if I do. [sipping] Ah. Much better.

Owen: [sniffs] Are you gonna finish that?

Sierra: Of course he is, it's Chris' favorite drink.

Chris: Wrong! My--

Sierra: Second only to tomato juice.

Chris: That's not on the fan site, how did you...

Sierra: I went to your high school and interviewed all your old teachers for the unauthorized biography I'm writing.

Chris: [gasps]

Sierra: They said--

Chris: Okay, okay, moving on!

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Chris: Crossing the icy river in Canada's frozen tundra used to be easy, back when the river was frozen solid. But thanks to global warming...

Owen: [farts]

Chris: And Owen, Earth is finally becoming a lot more interesting. By which I mean... deadly!

Izzy: Ha! Yay!

Chris: Today's challenge is called Total Drama: The Icicle! Teams must make their way across this watery chasm by jumping from ice flow to ice flow. First team member across must make their way to the dogsleds on the far shore and become the dog, pulling the sled all the way to the finish line as you grab the rest of your team along the way at marked meeting points. Sleds are first come, first serve, so move fast. Don't worry, if you fall into the water, we're legally required to save you. So, we've got two divers downstream ready to pull you out.

Tyler: You guys ready for some mad ice flow jumping? 'Cause this guy is kicking it into high gear! Hoo!

Leshawna: Whoever doesn't land near the sled heads straight for the finish line. That way we won't lose time stopping at every meeting point.

Bridgette: Cool.

Lindsay: Okay.

DJ: Got it.

Heather: What is the reward for this challenge?

Chris: Did I say "reward"?

Heather: We have already had three eliminations. We're overdue!

Noah: It's gotta be a reward. There aren't enough of us for Chris to cut someone in every episode.

Chris: Yeah, but we found teams try harder during elimination challenges, so this year, there's no set routine. Every challenge could mean an elimination! Ha ha.

[all complain]

Chris: That's the spirit! On your mark, get set... go!

[moose call]

Tyler: Whoa!

[splash]

Lindsay: Hi, Noah!

Tyler: "Hi, T-T-Tyler."

Lindsay: Ha, no, I'm Lindsay!

Tyler: [confessional] I don't get it. I'm the least talked about contestant on all the fan blogs. Even Zeke gets more play. And he always gets eliminated first. Worst of all, on the flight here, Lindsay called me Noah. Noah! Have to make her see me.

Noah: If Nutsy can do it, we can do it. Come on!

[crack]

Owen: Noah, hang on, buddy!

Noah: [screams] [grunts]

Owen: So, uh, I'll just go on ahead, okay?

Noah: [muffled speech]

Owen: Okay, cool.

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Leshawna: [laughing] This is easy!

Gwen: [grunts] Wow. So far so... oh, oh, whoa...

Cody: [gasps]

Gwen: Ahh!

Cody: Hang on, Gwen!

Owen: [grunts]

[polar bear growls]

Owen and Cody: [screaming]

Sierra: Bad polar bear! I am not about to post an obituary on my Cody blog, got it?!

[splashing]