User:Rainbowderp01/A Tisket, a Casket, I'm Gonna Blow a Gasket (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... Some teams had more fun than udders. The ants came marching one by one, and an alliance between the Sisters and the Twins ended before it started. The pressures of the race started to get to the Daters. The Ice Dancers came in first. And we said "soy long" to the Vegans, who came in last and were cut from the competition. Sadly, their flight home crash landed on an island populated by cannibals. Ha, it's weird, I can't even think about it without laughing. [chuckles] Now get ready for more deliciousness, because this is... The Ridonculous Race!

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: Last week's chill zone was here, on Copacabana Beach, which is the starting point for today's race. Leaving first will be the Ice Dancers.

Josee: [interview] We've won gold for the second time. Today we'll use our lead to widen the gap even more.

Jacques: [interview] Ah, we'll move so fast, that we'll lose our camera crew. [laughs]

Josee: [interview] Then we'll slow down until they catch up, because our fans deserve to see us perform.

[buzz, ding]

Jacques: "Make your way to Dracula's castle in Transylvania."

Don: [muffled] Transylvania. Transylvania. [spits] [normal] Transylvania, home of majestic mountains, bold stacks in architecture, and the birthplace of the heebie-jeebies. Teams must travel here, to this castle, to recieve their next tip.

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Don: This shuttle bus will take you to the airport.

Josee and Jacques: First place! First place! First place!

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[all cheer]

Dwayne: Woohoo!

Brody: Yay! On the bus!

[camera click]

Crimson: What is this strange feeling?

Ennui: I fear it may be... happiness. [interview] Transylvania. I can't believe it.

Crimson: [interview] Awesome.

Jacques: [aside] We are disappointed. It seems all the teams are taking the same bus!

Josee: [aside] [screaming]

[loud crashing]

Jacques: [aside] Ah, Josee will be okay. She'll rage herself to sleep.

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Josee: [sleeping] Stupid show... [snores] Gold medals...

Tom: [giggles] Can I show them? Let me show them.

Jen: Yes, yes, show them!

Tom: [interview] I bought it off a local here who, as it turns out, is a distributor.

Jen: [interview] So Tom ordered four thousand of them to be shipped home.

Tom: [interview] I am gonna make fezes happen. [real time] Put yours on.

Jen: Maybe later.

[tires screech]

[ding]

[all panting]

Stephanie: There are only two flights to Transylvania, and we are not getting stuck on flight number two! No way!

Ryan: But we--

Stephanie: Pick me up and throw me to the front!

Ryan: Aw, Steph, I can't do--

Stephanie: Pick. Me. Up!

Ryan: [gulps]

MacArthur: Take cover!

Stephanie: [screams] [interview] Ryan has voiced some concerns about how "competitive" I've been getting, but we reached an understanding.

Ryan: [interview] [clears throat] I need to try harder so that Stephanie doesn't feel the need to be the constant and lone motivator.

Stephanie: [interview] Mwah! [chuckles] We are so going to win this.

Don: [voiceover] The first seven teams are on flight number one.

Sanders: [aside] We did really well on the first couple of days, but at the last two chill zones, we came in eleventh and thirteenth.

MacArthur: [aside] But, we got ourselves on the first flight today, so we're back in kickin' butt mode. Whoo! Ha ha! Hi-yah!

Don: [voiceover] The remaining seven teams on flight number two leave forty-five minutes later, a hurdle that may be difficult to overcome.

Spud: Come on, Rock. I know you wanted to be on the first flight. Hey, what can I do to cheer you up?

Rock: You could help us win this round! We can do it! We just gotta dig deep!

Spud: Yeah, let's do it!

Rock: Yeah!

Spud: Yeah!

Rock: A-Are you just telling me what I wanna hear?

Spud: Yeah! And man, did you look happy.

Don: [voiceover] Plane number two has finally departed Brazil as plane number one touches down in Romania.

[turbine powers down]

[all cheer]

[thunder strikes]

Stephanie: Ah!

Kitty and Emma: Uh...

Crimson: Wow. [aside] Okay, Dracula was the first goth ever. He was our king. To be here is... I just... I can't. I'm so...

Ennui: [aside] Hey. That was close. You almost got color in your face.

[wolf howls]

Brody: [interview] There's no taxis around, but we look up the road and there's the castle.

Geoff: [interview] Ah, so creepy. I got goosebumps.

Brody: [interview] Aw, dude, I nearly took a goose-dump.

Geoff: [interview] What? [laughs] Hilarious, bro!

Brody and Geoff: [interview] [laughing] Boom.

[thunder strikes]

Ennui and Crimson: [panting]

Dwayne: Go!

MacArthur: Come on, pick a leg! Move it!

Josee: Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there!

Sanders: Oof! [screams]

Dwayne: Oof! Junior!

MacArthur: Officer down! Shots fired!

Josee: Oof! [groans]

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Carrie: So, you do a fashion blog? That is so cool. Which one of you guys started it?

Tom and Jen: I did.

Tom: No, I did.

Jen: I did.

Tom and Jen: I did. I did!

Jen: [interview] Okay. You typed it up, but it was my idea, so I was the creator, and you were more like... a secretary.

Tom: [interview] I'm sorry, what?!

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Stephanie: Yeah. baby! First ones here!

Ryan: Wait a minute. How is that possible? The Goths were ahead of us!

Ennui: Doesn't Vlad look striking?

Crimson: I see the similarities.

Ennui: Stop. Youll make me blush.

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[buzz, ding]

Stephanie: It's an All In! Aww, I love it when we get to do things together!

Don: For this All In challenge, teams must enter Dracula's castle and find an empty coffin. Whoever took the tip from the Don box must then drag the coffin to the graveyard with their teammate inside and tip it into an open grave. [shudders] Creepy.

Brody: "Complete the task to get your next tip from a local grave digger!"

Dwayne: "The teammate in the coffin may not get out or help at all." Oh boy...

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Josee: Ugh! You are making us fall behind!

MacArthur: Then let go!

Josee: [grunts] Ha, you first! Ah!

MacArthur: Oh, never gonna happen!

Don: [voiceover] As the Cadets and Ice Dancers play in mud, plane number two arrives carrying the last seven teams.

[all talking over each other]

Jay: Oh boy...

[thunder strikes]

Jay: [interview] We know vampires aren't real. We're not silly kids. But, werewolves are a different story,

Mickey: [interview] And if they can smell fear, then I am in trouble, 'cause I am doused in eau de terrified!

[thunder strikes]

Lorenzo: Last one to the top eats snot!

Chet: Oof!

Jay: No, wait!