User:Rainbowderp01/Broadway, Baby! (Transcript)

Chris: The Yukon! Canada's frozen gem. Here, our competitors discover the thrill of ice flow jumping, the chill of dog sledding and the buzzkill of frigid romance. In the end, Bridgette said goodbye -- not that we could understand her. The Yukon! Live the adventure! Where will we dump our remaining competitors this time? Find out right now on Total. Drama...

[Chris]

World Tour!

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[ Theme song ]

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Tyler: Oh, man. First class rocks!

Alejandro: Today, we eat the breakfast of champions.

Izzy: Oh, yeah... [chuckles] That's the spot.

Owen: [snoring]

Izzy: Aw, looks at Big O. His fear of flying is so adorable.

Noah: Ah! Finally! Thanks for not noticing I was missing all night! What am I, Tyler?

Tyler: Hey!

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Heather: Stupid economy section. What is that horrible smell?

Gwen: Defeat.

Courtney: I could've pulled the sled faster is someone wasn't whipping me.

Heather: We both know that's not true.

Courtney: Oh!

Gwen: First chance we get, I'll totally help you vote her off.

Courtney: Gladly. Can we whip her off?

Heather: [confessional] "Whip me off?" Ha Not if I can prove my worth to the team. Or manipulate Sierra and Cody into slavishly obeying me. Whatever works.

Sierra: This'll warm you up in no time! And from now on, whenever you get cold feet, you'll think of me.

Cody: Ugh... no kidding.

Heather: Hey buddies! Have I said enough how much I value your friendship?

Cody: You've only spoken to me like, three times, ever. Including this one.

Sierra: Well, I value you too, Heather. Hug?

Heather: I think just saying it is enough.

DJ: How's our team ever supposed to win if there's only three of us left?

Lindsay: Enough downie talk, you guys. We aren't quitters. We're fighters! And we're winners!

Leshawna: Mmhmm! Girl's got fire in her eyes!

Lindsay: [confessional] I packed a season's supply of lip gloss, and I've barely finished one tube! No way am I going home yet.

Alejandro: Ladies, I took the liberty of smuggling a few things out of first class.

Lindsay: I better not. I might break ou-- oh! [gasps] Is that a Snuffers bar? [squeals]

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Alejandro: Sierra, my former teammate. I smuggled this one out just for you.

Heather: Well, she doesn't want it. We never trust the enemy, especially the accessibly, disgustingly flirty ones.

Sierra: No thanks... enemy. [laughs]

Alejandro: [confessional] Of course Heather's bonding with Sierra. She's Chris' favorite. And if that manipulative minx gets Sierra, she'll get Chris too! Oh-ho, she's good.

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Chris: Take a seat, grab a handle and I'll tell you where we're going.

Tyler: Oh, sweet boat, guy. Right, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Uh, sure. Dave, is it?

Noah: Why are you wearing a life jacket?

Chris: 'Cause there's thirteen of you, and only one valuable me. Hit it, Chef!

[creak]

[all scream]

[motor runs]

Chris: Welcome to... New York City!

Lindsay: [confessional] New York, New York?! Do you know how many stores there are here? I'm gonna buy like, ten seasons worth of lip gloss without even trying! Ahhh!

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Chris: Your first challenge is a carriage race to Central Park, which I like to call "Liberty or Death!"

Owen: Oh, I've always dreamed of riding a horse-drawn carriage! [giggles]

Courtney: Don't even think about making me the horse... Heather.

Chris: Slow down, conclusion jumpers. It's a baby carriage race.

Leshawna: So, where are the carriages?

Chris: Yeah. Hope you brought your climbing gloves.

[all complain]

Sierra: LOL, Chris. I think your mischievous spirit makes the game.

Chris: Thank you, Sierra. It's nice to be appreciated.

Sierra: Appreciated? I love you! I always did. Even way back when you were making those terrible movies about talking cats.

Chris: Uh...

[all snicker]

Sierra: I was even going to call my first fan club "The Christians", but that name was already taken.

Chris: Okay! Ha ha. Less chatter, more splatter. Er, climbing. More climbing. We'll leave the splatter to fate. Anywho, once you reach Lady Liberty's crown, pull up your rope to bring up your team faster. Once everybody's up, your team grabs the correct carriage off the spike, races back down to your boat and follows the buoys to your next exciting destination. Central Park!

Lindsay: Um, so when do we go shopping?

Chris: You don't.

Lindsay: Noooo!

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[whistle blows]

Izzy: Look! I'm a rabid monkey! Ay-ay-ay-ay-ah!

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DJ: Ow! What are these ropes made of?

Chris: Steel wool. Strong and rough. Just like the Big Apple.

DJ: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

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Cody: Why don't I go first and make sure it's safe for you ladies?

Courtney: I know exactly how we should climb!

Gwen: You're not gonna suggest we belay again, are you? 'Cause that worked so well in Egypt.

Courtney: But... no. I... never mind.

Heather: I think Sierra should decide.

Sierra: OMG. I thought I knew everything about everyone on this show. You're really nice, Heather. [confessional] Of course I know Heather's playing me. I've seen every episode like, fifteen times. Hello! I'm playing Heather.

Heather: [grunting] No way am I losing this challenge!

Sierra: After you. I insist. Best view in New York City.

Cody: [groans]

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Chris: It's been twenty-five blister-busting minutes and nothing! You guys are bumming me out!

Alejandro: I'm worried about Chris. Do you ever get the feeling he misses his glory days, back when he was a huge star? That he feels like no one remembers... or cares?

Sierra: Poor Chris. I remember! I care!

Owen: Oh, making me sweat. Okay, I got it, I just... oh, come on!

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Chris: Ugh! Let's go! I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I gotta pee.

Courtney: First!

Gwen: Yeah!

Cody: Sweet!

Heather: I'll get the carriage! Which is something only a really valuable teammate would do!

Sierra: Hey, Chris. Know what? I own every one of your TV appearances on DVD, even your cooking show, "Keep it Plain with Chris McLean".