User:Rainbowderp01/Total Drama Island Exclusive Clips (Transcript)

~Izzy on Chris' talk show~

[audience clapping]

Izzy: Yeah, it was like this miracle. I was escaping the RCMP on a felony charge when I came across this abandoned barge off the shores of lake Huron! Inside was a cargo of maple syrup and these cheap plastic souvenir beavers made in China. One look at them and presto! Izzy's Happy Sap was born! You can buy them everywhere. I'm a zillionaire! That's when I started dating Justin. He's a model now, you know. But we broke up because I found out that he's a liar! And there's one thing that I can't stand, that's a liar!

Chris: Oh, I hear you, Iz. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's phonies and liars.

Izzy: That's two things. Here's to being famous!

[audience applauds]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Video Message from Home to Leshawna ~

Jasmine: I'm Jasmine, and I'm with the McGillis Talent Agency. Romeo, Romeo, where art thou, Romeo? [giggles] Or something like that. Why should I be on season two? I play this game! But because of where I live, it's really more of a Total Drama peninsula.

Cameraman: [whispering] Hey. Jasmine. You know you're supposed to do something nice for your friend Leshawna, right?

Jasmine: Oh, you think she'd want a signed eight-by-ten?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Video Message from Home to Duncan ~

Duncan's Mom: Your parole officer here said we could tell you we love you.

Duncan's Dad: Despite your arrest for the Happy New Year's stunt!

Duncan's Mom: Or for selling your father's hairpieces as pets.

Duncan's Dad: Or for the pool party in the City Hall Fountain! Come to think of it, do we love you?

Duncan's Mom: That's a terrible thing to say!

Duncan's Dad: Well, the boy's a criminal!

Duncan's Mom: That hairpiece is what's criminal.

Parole Officer: What pool party?

Duncan's Dad: Uh-oh. Son, uh, I hope you win that cash. Heh. Your lawyer's gonna need it.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Video Message from Home to Heather ~

[dance music]

[party blowers blowing]

Heather's Dad: Woohoo! Oh, yeah! Wha, we're rolling? Oopsie. Hi, Heather Feather. It's Moomsie and Poopsie. We miss you so much. My golf game has really been off since you've been gone.

Heather's Mom: Pedicures seem less... spiritual now.

Heather's Dad: Right, right, right. There's that.

Mover: Hey, where do you want me to put her bed?

Heather's Dad: Oopsie.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Video Message from Home to Gwen ~

Gwen's Mom: Gwen, we miss you so much, your brother and I decided to pay a little neighbor girl to pretend to be you.

Gwen's Brother: Ah, that was totally Mom's idea, Gwen!

[static]

Gwen's Mom: Gwen, you haven't even touched your meatloaf.

Girl: Lady, I'm a vegetarian.

Gwen's Mother: [through gritted teeth] You're not doing it right.

Girl: Um, do I have to wait for you two to finish dinner before I get paid?

[static]

Gwen's Mother: Needless to say, that may not have been the best idea.

Gwen's Brother: Cuckoo!

Gwen's Mother: [chuckles]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Video Message from Home to Owen ~

Owen's Dad: Hey, Owen. This is your folks. Well, you know it's your folks-- Th-This is stupid, can we start over?

Owen's Mom: They say the camera adds ten pounds, oh, but I don't see it at all. I think you look terrific.

Owen's Dad: Son, that episode where you burped the entire alphabet, I don't think I've ever been prouder to be your father.

Owen's Mom: Be on the lookout, sweetie. I sent you a care package full of gravy!

Owen's Dad: That should make bath time a little more fun, huh, buddy?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Heather's Pre-Special Confessional~

Heather: [confessional] This has been such a waste of a summer vacation. I could've been in Whistler.

Chris: Coulda, shoulda, woulda, sister.

Heather: [confessional] Thankfully, it's all over.

Chris: No, it's not.

Heather: [confessional] I can go home.

Chris: Can't.

Heather: [confessional] And have a nice bath.

Chris: Nuh-uh.

Heather: [confessional] Get my hair fixed.

Chris: Yeah, good luck with that.

Heather: [confessional] And hit the mall for some serious retail therapy.

Chris: That's what she thinks. But she didn't read the fine print! Yes, it's not over until I say it's over. [chuckles]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Gwen's Pre-Special Clip~

[tropical music]

Gwen: I have never been so glad to finish something in my life. At this point, I don't even care that I didn't win.

Owen: I won! I won, I won!

Gwen: Seriously. I don't. I know I played hard and was always fair, and I can sleep well at night knowing I was a good sport.

Owen: Aye aye aye! [singing] Kicked your butts and I won! Kicked your butts and I won! [laughs]

Eva: [sipping]

Gwen: [chuckles] Whatever. I'm really happy for him. I am! Money doesn't buy happiness anyway, right?

Owen: I got $100,000! I got $100,000! I got $100,000!

Gwen: 'scuse me.

Owen: I got one hundred thousand-- Dahhhh! [splash]

Gwen: What? It was an accident!

Eva: [sips drink]