User:Rainbowderp01/Toys Will Be Toys (Transcript)

[ Theme song ]

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Courtney: Guys, I've decided, I'm going to become a WeTube star! I have all the right tools! Great bubbly personality, witty repartee, pretty hair. I was born to do this.

Chef: Aw, that sounds like fun, Courtney. Lots of kids enjoy learning online.

Courtney: I know, right? Bridgette, how would you like to be my camerawoman?

Bridgette: Cool! So what are you going to talk about, Courtney?

Courtney: Uh... [nervous chuckle] Uh... uh... um... uh... ha... um... [confessional] I can't believe I didn't figure that out yet. Oh well. How hard can it be?

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Courtney: This is Cooking with Courtney! For the first step, we're going to put all the ingredients into the mixer and turn it on! Ah!

[whirring]

[banging]

Courtney: [sighs]

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Courtney: This is Riding with Courtney! The key to riding bikes is to make sure you keep your hands on the brakes at all-- ah!

[crash]

Bridgette: Ooh!

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Courtney: This is Learning with Courtney! An aquatic bottlenose dolphin is famous for its inteligence and friendly disposition.

[splash]

Courtney: [spits] Cut.

[dolphin giggles]

Courtney: How about we just do toy reviews?

[whack]

[dolphin chuckles]

Bridgette: Good call!

Bridgette and Courtney: [scream]

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Courtney: This is Tammy Tinkles. A baby you feed, squeeze, and change! Whoo! There is nothing more exciting than the rush of feeling like a mother taking care of a child. Cut! Post it.

Owen: Hey, Courtney, what's the video for?

Courtney: I'm going to upload it to WeTube and become an internet sensation!

Harold: Wow!

Jude: Can we help?

Courtney: Of course you can!

Owen: Woohoo!

Harold and Jude: Yeah!

Courtney: By staying out of my way.

Owen: Ouch.

Jude: Harsh.

Courtney: Sorry, guys. It's just that it takes a really specific combination of smarts and on screen charisma to carry something like this off. And you just don't have it.

Jude: Hey! We got charisma! Dude, what's charisma?

Owen: I love Charismas! [chuckles] That's when Santa Claus comes down the chimney!

Courtney: Check how many likes I got.

Bridgette: Twelve!

Courtney: Yes!

[smack]

Bridgette: I love high fives.

Owen: Is twelve a lot?

Courtney: It's twelve more than you got.

Jude: Well, maybe we'll make our own video.

Owen: Yeah, I bet we'll get twice as many views!

Courtney: Oh yeah? Put your money where your mouth is.

Jude: Okay. I'll bet you today's snack that we get more than you do.

Owen: Wait, what?

Courtney: You realize it's chocolate pudding day, right?

Owen: [gasps] You sure about this?

Courtney: Unless you don't think you got what it takes?

Jude: I'm sure. Come on, dudes. Let's make a vid.

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Owen: [through megaphone] Quiet on set! And... action!

Harold: [grunting]

Owen: It's not a very exciting video.

Jude: We're gonna need more balloons.

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[twang]

Jude: That should do it!

Owen: Now we're talking! [through megaphone] Action!

Harold: [grunts] Help!

[plane whirs]

Owen: How did we not see that coming?

Jude: Who cares, dude?

Chef: Kids! Did you two just upload a video of Harold flying off into the sky to an uncertain fate?!

Jude and Owen: Um...

Chef: 'Casuse it got three million likes!

Owen: Woohoo!

Jude: Yes!

Courtney: Wait, what? Three million likes? Bridgette, check mine again.

Bridgette: Thirteen likes. Oh wait, it went back down to twelve.

Chef: Sorry, I accidentally hit the like button.

Courtney: Ugh!

Chef: Anyway, keep up the good work, boys!

Bridgette: Disappointment high five?

Courtney: There will be no high fives until we make a video that gets more likes than them. Come on!

Jude: Shouldn't we call someone about Harold?

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Harold: Hello? Hello?!

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Chef: [confessional] These kids are really, really talented. Just so funny and creative, and... and then there's Courtney.

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Bridgette: And... action.

Courtney: Hello, WeTube viewers. Today, I am going to play test Prince Pumpkin Face. Of course, you can change out his eyes or lips or any other features, but I like to make a choice and stick with it. Cut!

Bridgette: Posted.

Courtney: [gasps] Seven likes?

Bridgette: Yay! High five!

Courtney: No, Bridgette! Seven is bad!

Owen: Oh, wow! Did you make a Prince Pumpkin Face video?

Jude: Bet that got a ton of likes.

Courtney: It did just fine, thank you! Have you guys done another video?

Jude: Yeah, check it out.

[video]

Owen: Action!

Jude: Ahh! It's a vampire bat and he's hungry. "Oh, look. A helpless victim! Or as I like to call it... breakfast!"

Owen: Ah! Stay away from my unprotected neck!

[smack]

Owen: [screaming]

[squirt]

[video ends]

Bridgette: Wow!

Courtney: That's it? That's what you uploaded? [confessional] Okay, I feel a little better about my video now, because that was horrible. [real time] And how many likes did that get?

Jude: Dude, we totally forgot to check.

Chef: Did you just upload a video saying a vampire outbreak had begun causing a global panic and causing people to race to grocery stores to buy all the garlic in hopes of staying alive?

Courtney: Yes, they did. Heh, and I don't wanna be mean, but...

Chef: It got six million likes!

Courtney: Well then. [confessional] [screams]

Chef: Keep up the good work, boys! Someday, you're gonna be famous!

Owen: High five!

Bridgette: All right! High five, guys!

Courtney: Nope, come on.

Bridgette: But, I love high fiving.

Courtney: We will high five after I take them down. Which I will!

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Bridgette: Action!

Courtney: Whoa! This is so bouncy! And that is how you bounce safely in a bouncy castle. Don't forget to subscribe for more awesome toy playing tips!

Bridgette: Got it, and sent.

Courtney: There's no way this video doesn't beat the boys' videos. It's insane!

Owen: [gasps] A bouncy castle video, good thinking Courtney!

Jude: Did you do a flip?

Courtney: Ooh, that's against the rules. I read it in the manual.

Jude: You read the manual for a bouncy castle?

Courtney: Yup. And it clearly states, no flips, no shoes, and no bears.

Jude: That's weirdly specific.

Chef: Owen! Jude! Anymore uploaded videos? I sure got a hoot out of the last one. Almost as good as the one about the monkey sniffing his own butt. Ha, you kids sure are creative.

Courtney: We made another video! How many likes did I get?

Chef: Oh, uh... twenty.

Courtney: [gasps] Twenty million? Yes!

Chef: No, just twenty.

Courtney: B-But... I bounced. Several times.

Chef: Twenty isn't bad. It's just about 20 million less than what Jude and Owen got. So yeah, in comparison, it's horrible. But if you never judge yourself against people doing way better than you, you'll never have to know you're bad at things. Try that.

Bridgette: I thought it was a good video.

Courtney: [confessional] Using a toy safely as instructed by the manual isn't boring... is it?

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Owen: This is awesome!

[crashing]

Courtney: Ah!

Jude: Ah!

Chef: Oh man, this is gonna be good!

Owen: Yeah! Sent!

Chef: Human Basketball Boy Slam Dunk just got eight million likes!

Courtney: Oh, come on! That's not even a thing! And people watch that?! What is the world coming to?

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Jude: Dude, why do you want to make a video with the Tammy Tinkles doll?

Owen: You'll see. Hit record. See, the trick is, instead of feeding it water, you feed it club soda, and then you start shaking it, and keep shaking until...

[water rushes]

Owen: Ha!

[crashing]

Jude: That was awesome!

Owen: And I renamed her Vicky Vomits.

Jude: [laughs] That's wicked, bro! Sent!

Courtney: That was disgusting, and there's no way people are going to--

Chef: Vomit Baby just got eleven million likes!

Jude and Owen: Woohoo!

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Bridgette: Okay, I'm recording.

Courtney: Clearly, people only like videos when toys are being used in dangerous and inappropriate ways. So... here we go.

Owen: You gonna do a flip?

Courtney: No.

Owen: You're gonna chew gum?

Courtney: Nope, nope. But, I'm wearing my shoes. Inside the bouncy castle!

Jude: Yeah... I'm not sure that's a good--

Courtney: I'm in shoes! And I'm bouncing! Is this the anarchy you want, viewers?!

[pop]

Bridgette: [gasps]

Courtney: Oh no! What have I done?

[castle blowing]

Bridgette and Courtney: [scream]

[silence]

Bridgette and Courtney: [scream again]

Harold: Hey. What are you two doing here?

Courtney: It's a long story.

Bridgette: And... sent.

Chef: Rocket a Bouncy Castle to Space and Find a Friend You Thought You Lost Forever just got twenty-five million likes!

Courtney: Bam! We got more than you two, which means we get your pudding cups! Ha ha! Congrats, Bridgette! We are officially internet sensations! High five!

Chef: Hold that five. You were an internet sensation. The WeTube website said what you did was way too dangerous and you've been banned from posting anymore videos.

[steaming]

Bridgette: Uh-oh. Former internet sensation high five?

Courtney: [screams]

[credits]