User:Berryleaf/Auditions

Dakota, The Fame Monger


Open scene. A camera turns on revealing a blonde bombshell in a brightly lit hot pink bedroom. She pulls out a small cloth and polishes the camera lens. She tosses the cloth away.

Dakota: (calls out) Rupita, take care of that please! (faces the camera and puts on the fakest smile you've ever seen.)  Hey there! I'm THE Dakota Milton and this is my audition for your show Total Drama! I'm not entering for the money, trust me, my daddy makes plenty of that. He owns the Milton Inn hotel chain, and if you don't know what that is, you must be like, homeless or something. (waves kindly) Sorry hobos! Ahem. The reason I'm joining Total Drama is to gain more publicity for my modeling career! I'm going to be like, the most famous person ever! (nods) Uh huh.

Dakota picks up a makeup mirror and begins applying lip gloss. She continues talking to the camera.

Dakota: Most audition processes ask for you to list some of your best qualities. But like, it's so hard to choose! I'm flawless. My most valuable assets range from my face, my eyes, my pout, my legs, my boobs, or my butt! Yeah, I know. I'm basically perfect. Mmmhmm.

Dakota closes her makeup mirror and puts it away. A small chihuaha jumps on her lap. She begins petting it.

Dakota: This is Fernando, my pet chihuaha! (reaches down and grabs a chocolate bar which she feeds to her dog)  He LOVES chocolate! (The dog begins to cough and sputter.)  Fernando's been with me for like, forever. 16 years! They say most dogs don't last that long, but this little guy sure has. (ruffles Fernando's fur)  Well, I don't wanna drag. I'm a busy girl, I got a schedule to stick to! In closing, choose me. I'm beauty, brawn, and brains in one package! (Fernando flops over, dead.  Dakota pauses and looks between the dog and the camera before calling out again.)  DADDY!!! Fernando fell asleep again!

The camera shuts off, going to static.

Anne Maria, The Jersey Shore Reject


Open scene. A deck hangs over a sandy beach with white foamy waves crashing in. A blazing yellow sun hangs over and orange sky. Below is an equally orange girl spraying her hair.

Anne Maria: (knocks on her hair.  It makes a metallic clanging sound.) Perfect. (carelessly tosses the spray can behind her back. The can buries itself in the sand.)  Yo, what up? Name's Anne Maria, and don't ya forget it! I'm heard about ya show Total Drama, and I was thinkin, 'man, dat show's callin' my name!'  If you're really about what you say you are, you should pick me. I provide the drama, you provide my the million dollahs. Seems like a fair trade ta me.

Another girl walks past Anne. Anne calls out after her.

Anne Maria: Lookin' good, toots! (The girl blushes.  Anne Maria turns back to the camera.)  What can I say? I'm naturally flirtatious, and hey, if you ain't on my bad side, I'm fun to be around. But if you try to double cross me, oh, you're so OVER! (pounds her fist). I'm serious. You don't wanna know what happened to the last guy who tried to mess with me. Let's just say he don't live in Jersey no mo'.

A rebel strand of hair pops up from Anne's poof. She pulls another spray can out of her hair and sprays it into submission. The hair retreats back into her do. Anne Maria bounces her poof.

Anne Maria: Good thing I always come prepared. (The can from earlier flies back up and hits her in the head, a note taped to it.  A stunned Anne picks it up and reads the note)  Don't littah? Nobody tells me what to do! Oh, it is so ON! (Anne Maria stomps offscene.)

The camera shuts off and goes to static.