You Regatta Be Kidding Me

'''A sadistic host messes with the teams dynamics by announcing the merge, and pits the campers in a boat race around Camp Wawankawa. An unlikely foursome work together, while newly-reformed friends team up. A prisoner frees himself and meets one of his 'friends', only to be stopped by their enemy. A manipulative contestant wins immunity as a former villain goes to drastic measures to ensure that their reputation is restored. This results into their forced elimination, allowing someone else to avoid a suspicious elimination due to someone tampering the votes.'''

Plot
The episode starts off with Gwen and Courtney talking in the spa hotel and exclaiming that they hope that the other wins the season if they don't. Scott, who is trying to listen in on their conversation, threatens that Cameron will be going home next. In the confessional, Cameron states that he's glad Sierra's gone, but has taken to sleeping with one eye open, since he is on the Villains team and they intimidate him.

Duncan is then seen trying to prove he is still bad by trying to spray paint a skull and crossbones graffiti on the loser cabin. Zoey compliments the painting, thinking it's a "cute bunny", which annoys Duncan. He then tries to drive Chef's jeep into the ocean, but ends up fixing it instead when the engine turns out to be broken. Chris calls the competitors out to where Duncan had repaired the jeep. Chef thanks Duncan and drives off, annoying Duncan again.

In Mike's subconscious, Mike notices a spooky tower in the distance and uses a flying question mark to escape from his chains. He then runs into Chester, who has been forced by Mal to sell skateboards. Mike though manages to convince Chester to help him defeat Mal and then he frees him with a skateboard. They then set off toward the dark tower.

Chris comes and announces that the teams are officially merged. He then explains that the challenge is a "regatta" race around the island, which confuses Duncan. Chris says it's a boat race, saying that it's classy. He tells them that the boats are either really good or really lame and they're first come first serve. He blows the horn, and the campers set off.

Courtney and Gwen are running together when Duncan asks if they can be in an alliance together. After the two girls say no, Duncan then states that he knew Mike from juvie when his name was Mal, and he is very dangerous. Courtney and Gwen laugh at him, stating that it was "so sad". Alejandro gets there first and drives off, with Gwen and Courtney teaming up and racing together. Mike (as Mal) then comes and destroys the remaining boats, excluding the raft, and drives off in the Boat of Losers. Zoey and Cameron try out the motorboat and the raft, but find them broken, and take the remaining raft. Duncan and Scott jump on the raft before Zoey and Cameron disembark, saying that it's the only boat left and row away.

Mal then enters Coconut Alley, where Chef drops a coconut on his head before Mal ducks into the boat's cabin. Courtney and Gwen enter Coconut Alley, and are barraged by coconuts. Courtney nearly falls off the raft, but Gwen pulls her back up again. They discuss hair for a moment and Chef drops a stick of dynamite onto their boat, which blows up damaging the engine in the process. Gwen starts to row, going at a much slower pace.

On the raft, Cameron comes up with a plan to use Scott and Fang as a motor, which impresses Duncan. When Cameron pushes Scott into the water it attracts Fang, who hurdles at Scott. So Zoey uses Scott as bait while Fang pushes them to the end. Duncan grabs a stick of dynamite, defusing it, and then swims to shore, with an idea. Alejandro's engine stops and after many attempts he shoots off into last place. Zoey, Cameron, and Scott are gaining on Mal, but Zoey is unsure of who she will run into, so she grabs a spare stick, and vaults into the water, with piranhas snapping at her from below.

Mike hears her in his subconscious, and pops out, finding himself in a boat with no idea how he got there. He sees Zoey in danger, and goes to rescue her. Mal, inside Mike's subconscious, forces his way back into control. Chester gets scared and confused and curls up in a ball. Mal then stalls for time, faking the engine being broken, until he finally saves her, since leaving her would have looked "suspicious". Alejandro's boat engine stalls for a second time, stopping right in front of the finish line. Gwen and Courtney quickly approach, but Alejandro reaches out from the nose of his boat at the last second, winning the challenge. He decides to take no one to the Mansion with him, but makes an alliance with Mal after his request. Chris wonders where Duncan is, and a loud boom startles the competitors. Duncan runs away from the scene, cackling at what he had done.

At the elimination ceremony, Duncan gets arrested for blowing up Chris' cottage and leaves the competition. After the contestants vote, Chris announces that the decision was unanimous with everyone voting for Cameron. However since Duncan has been arrested and is forced to leave the game, Cameron can stay. Later in the confessional, Cameron says that the votes were tampered with because he didn't vote for himself. The scene cuts off to Mal's confessional showing that he was the one who rigged the votes.

Cast

 * The police officer who arrested Duncan had a line; However, it is unknown who voiced him.

Continuity

 * This is the first time since Total Drama Island that Gwen has made it to the merge.
 * As of this episode, everyone in the final five of Total Drama Island has made it to the merge more than once.
 * This is also the first time since Total Drama Island that Gwen has outranked Duncan, as well as being the first time overall that Courtney outranks him.
 * This is the first episode since Evil Dread to feature any of Mike's Alternate Personalities that isn't Mal, as Chester made an appearance.
 * This is the earliest merge episode in the entire series, as it is the eighth episode of the season. The closest is Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, which merged in the ninth episode.
 * This episode marks the second time a contestant has been disqualified from the competition with it being Duncan, and the first one being Sierra.
 * Both were disqualified by destroying property of Chris's.
 * Coincidentally, both were eliminated back to back in Total Drama World Tour and Total Drama All Stars.
 * The same bear whose hair was pulled off by Owen in The Sucky Outdoors appears. This can be noted by the spot on his head with extra hair, showing he is still simply wearing the hair he lost over a bald spot.
 * This marks the first time that Duncan is not the final former Killer Bass member. In this case, Courtney is the last Killer Bass member.
 * This episode marks the fourth time that Duncan has made it to the merge although he had to return in Total Drama World Tour to make it to the merge.
 * This episode marks the second time that Alejandro, Cameron, Mike, Scott and Zoey made it to the merge, meaning that they are the only contestants so far to make the merge in all their participating seasons, without having to return after their initial elimination as Owen and Duncan did.
 * This is the second time the votes have been tampered with. However, this time it was unsuccessful.

Reference

 * The title of this episode is a play on the phrase "you gotta be kidding me."

Goofs

 * One of Chef's dynamite sticks was only strong enough to destroy roughly 1/3 of a boat motor. While the one Duncan caught from Chef, which is roughly the same size, was able to obliterate Chris' cottage/mansion.
 * Cameron states in the beginning that he has to keep one eye open and now he "can't blink it," showing how he can't close his eye, yet immediately before this confessional he closes both of his eyes.
 * When Chris recaps what happened in Suckers Punched, Sierra, Gwen, and Cameron's black eyes are missing.
 * When Scott was in the confessional, he seemed to have five fingers on his right hand.
 * When Chris was signing off, he said eight contestants were eliminated, however only seven have been eliminated so far.
 * When Cameron pushes Scott into the water to attract Fang, everyone's hair is still wet. When it cuts to Scott panicking as Fang approaches, everybody's hair is suddenly dry. Their hair is wet again when they cut back to the whole group on the raft.