One Million Bucks, B.C.

'''Chris turns back the clock to the stone age as the castmates engage in prehistoric challenges. One castmate alters the game with her personal digital assistant and own rules, making another player adjust to her presence, as another goes to drastic measures in order to get what they want.'''

Plot
The episode begins inside the girls' trailer where Heather is shown to be angry that Lindsay has hair, while she doesn't, and also because it was Lindsay's fault that she ended up bald in the first place. After Lindsay complains about a hair knot, Heather volunteers to solve the problem and pulls particularly hard on Lindsay's hair with a hairbrush. Heather is now extremely desperate for hair, but she believes she is too smart for "Lindsay blonde," "Leshawna's gross weave," and "Beth's pathetic ponytail." When Courtney enters, Lindsay glares at her since now that she is on the team, no one will listen to her anymore. Upon seeing Courtney's hair, Heather tells Courtney that it's great to have her "hair," but corrects herself with "here." In the guys' trailer, Justin talks about all the parts of his body his agent tells him to protect while Duncan talks about how he doesn't care about Courtney anymore (while secretly daydreaming about her).

The teams hear a loud foghorn and exit their trailers to find Chef and Chris outside in loincloths. After Chris tells the castmates about a set of special treatments Courtney gets for herself, such as keeping her personal digital assistant, having her own bathroom and dining on gourmet food due to her lawsuit, he announces the challenge to be about a period movie. Beth then thinks that the period will be the 1800's, but it is actually the Paleolithic period, a.k.a The Stone Age. Chris then tells the castmates to dress up in loincloths and gives Heather a Flintstones-like wig.

The first challenge involves both teams trying to make fire with only rocks. Chris instructs them to go search for firewood, and while they're all searching, Chef roughs up Duncan and makes him get rid of all the non-prehistoric objects he tried to smuggle into the challenge. However, they're interrupted by Harold getting chased around by woolly beavers and Duncan uses this moment of diversion to palm something without any other contestant, Chef, or Chris noticing. While Lindsay argues with Courtney about no one listening to her since she arrived, Duncan steals glances at Courtney. When the challenge begins, Duncan and Courtney start a competition between each other to see who can light the fire faster, which Duncan ultimately wins using the item Chef failed to confiscate, his lighter, to light the fire. After Courtney complains about how the rocks couldn't light anything, Lindsay then lights a fire accidentally, with only one strike of the rocks. The second and final challenge involves two members of opposite teams in two rock pedestals above a tar pit, trying to knock each other off with bones. Chris then reveals that since he saw Duncan using the lighter to set up the fire, the Grips won the first challenge and they get larger bones to fight with. The first round is between Lindsay and Leshawna. After Lindsay asks when the fight begins, Chris blows on the giant bighorn from the beginning of the episode, startling Lindsay and making her fall into the tar pit. In the second round, Heather fights against Beth. While Heather throws random strikes, a giant Monster Loon snatches her new wig and makes her fall forward and she clings onto Beth's bone. Beth lets go and Heather falls into the tar pit. The next round is between Harold and Justin. When the fight begins, the Woolly Beavers return and chew through Harold's rock pedestal, as if it were a piece of tree trunk, making him fall forward and pull Justin off his pedestal, causing both to fall into the tar.

With the score tied at two apiece, Chris then proceeds to announce the final tie-breaker bout, Courtney vs. Duncan. Since the Woolly Beavers destroyed one of the pedestals, Courtney and Duncan must now share one. While on top of the pedestal, Courtney clings onto Duncan so as not to fall. After Duncan teases her about her wanting to kiss him, they both fall backwards, but Courtney grabs onto Duncan's arm and pulls them back up and they accidentally kiss. After a confessional where both reveal that they still love each other but at the same time make each other angry, the pedestal is shown again. This time, Courtney pulls Duncan into an almost kiss, but before they can, she hits Duncan in the crotch with the battle bone and knocks him off the pedestal, giving the Killer Grips the win.

Chris then announces that no one gets voted off since it was a reward challenge. The Grips get a special reward; a giant Flintstones-like Mammoth rib, which Chef later accidentally knocks into the tar pit. As a consolation price, the Gaffers get a Giant Loon Egg to make a tart let. When the Giant Loon comes back for its egg, Heather beats it up and gets her wig back. The episode ends with Courtney in the confessional saying that she still likes Duncan but will not admit it, while saying that he got what he had coming for the relationship she believes he had with Gwen. Later, Duncan says he didn't have a relationship with Gwen and that he still likes Courtney while complaining about how she hit his groin.

Chris gets the last word in confessions, apologizing for the lack of plot development regarding Heather stealing Courtney's hair, explaining that due to Courtney's litigious nature; they "Can't harm a hair on her head."

Exclusive Clip
Heather, covered in tar, complains about not having enough reward challenges, and that she really needs a makeover. She then excitedly pulls out the lock of hair she stole from Courtney earlier and sticks it to her head. However, a cameraman comes into the confessional and wrestles the hair from Heather. After he leaves, Heather sticks it on her red wig. She then realizes that the wig will not come off, and is excited because she finally has "hair."

Quotes
Justin: My agent, Jesús, says it's my best feature. Along with my neck, nose, chin, cheekbones, earlobes, eyebrows... Duncan: You know who has nice hair? Courtney. I mean, not that I've noticed. Justin: ...or maybe it's my eyes... Duncan: I mean, I did notice... back when I cared- but not now... Harold: Nice try. Just because I'm blind without my glasses doesn't mean I'll fall for- (slips on soap) Whoa! Oof! Leshawna: Not a bad idea ... With Courtney on your team, you better watch your backs. Beth: She's so bossy! Lindsay: And it's not like we needed another Know-It-All on this show. Heather: Oh, really? (Heather strokes Lindsay's hair violently again) Lindsay: Owww! I was talking about me! Now that Bossy McSmartypants is back, no one is ever going to listen to me ever again! Leshawna: Sorry, did you say something, honey? (all the girls glare at her, minus Heather) Courtney: Isn't anyone glad to see me?! Heather: Great to have your hair... Uh, ''here! here!'' Great to have you here, Courtney. Chef: Hand it over... all of it Prehistoric Pond scum! Duncan: You said there are no rules. Courtney: There are if you have a good lawyer. Chris: Chef, Let's get this over with... Ahem! Rule one. Not withstanding that contestants are not permitted with contact from the outside world. The contestants hereafter refer to as "Courtney" may retain a Personal Digital Assistant. AKA her PDA. Beth: What?! That's so not fair! I'm the one with a boyfriend! Chris: Care to take that up with our legal department, Beth? (Chef breaks a court mallet and Beth gasps) Chris: Didn't think so... Rule Two. Where as contestants shall continue to receive allocated meals provided by Chef Hatchet, Courtney shall be entitled to a gourmet dining experience consisting of producers, and myself as applicable. I hope you like lobster. Beth and Heather: No Way! (Everyone but Chris and Courtney yell in protest) Chris: Let's see your lawyers get you out of this one. Courtney: What?! I'm still sleeping in the girl's trailer! Chris: Where she will have a pure goose down pillow, extra comfy loftier, and 700-count sheet. Oh, and her Own... Private... Bathroom! (Everyone yells in protest at Chris and Courtney again) Chris: Those are the new rules. Let's call them "Courtney's Rules" in honor of Courtney. Who gets special treatment. And an unfair advantage. Duncan: Nice. Our spoiled princess didn't waste anytime hooking herself up! Courtney: And you didn't waste anytime hooking up with Gwen after I left! Duncan: While I'm touched you're obviously still hot for me, my relationships are none of your business. Courtney: You're on TV! They're everyone's business! Duncan: Well at least the whole world knows I play by the rules... Most of the time! What? Don't think you can win the million bucks fair and square? Courtney: I could kick your two-timing butt with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back! Duncan: Gonna be pretty tough to eat lobster like that! (Both growl at each other) Heather: You let go! Beth: Okay! (Lets go of Heather). Justin: (in confessional make-up room, covered in tar) I'm gonna win the million, but that shot of me standing atop the stone column is worth even more. It's gonna be an iconic File for the series. Hey, Lindsay was right about the tar, my skin does look even better. Duncan: (to Harold) Just don't go and lose this challenge for us, beavers can't swim through tar! (the beavers swim through tar)  Harold: Their teeth are the size of railway spikes! Leshawna: You'll be okay, baby. Duncan: Don't be a wimp! The columns are plaster, not wood, and beavers can't climb! (one beaver eats the stand, the other starts to climb) I guess my knowledge of prehistoric beavers is a little rusty. Harold: Down beavers, down! Get back to your dam! (falls) Woaahhh! Courtney: Don't get too hyped, Duncan won't last more than two seconds. Courtney: All you're going to kiss is the end of my bone! Courtney: Sure, Duncan has this primal animal magnetism, but he also makes me want to hit him where it hurts! Duncan: (squeaks in pain) Why do they always go for the kiwis? Why!!!? Chris: (picks his teeth) I know everyone wanted to see Heather cut off Courtney's hair. Trust me, so did I. (sips from Mr. Coconut) But, the girl's got a kick-butt lawyer, can't harm a hair on her head. (continues to pick his teeth) See ya next time, kiddies! (tosses toothpick aside) Same Chris Time, (tosses Mr. Coconut aside) Same Chris Channel! (glass breaks) Uh... wasn't me! (runs away)
 * Duncan: (to Justin) How can you spend so much time on your coif?
 * Duncan: (to Harold) You dropped your soap, dweeb.
 * Duncan: I make fire! (pounds on chest) OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
 * Lindsay: (Heather strokes her hair violently) Ow! Heather! I think you pulled my eyes into the back of my head!
 * Heather: (in confessional make-up room) I have got to get me some hair! Not Leshawna's gross weave or Beth's pathetic ponytail! And I'm way too smart to be Lindsay blond! But Courtney's... hers would be perfect! (grabs scissors) I'm just gonna borrow these, okay?
 * Courtney: Hey girls!
 * Duncan: (angrily) I did not hook up with Gwen! Having Courtney back reminds me of how much she drives me crazy! (daydreaming) And how much she drives me crazy.
 * Duncan: (after Chef hoists him up by his loincloth) Hey, hey! Easy here! Not a lot of fabric!
 * Chris: Please note, no animals were harmed in the making of this television program. (looks at someone off-screen, annoyed) Okay, we good?
 * Chris: Thanks to Courtney's lawsuit, She'll be playing by a set of different rules.
 * Heather: I got some! Courtney's hair, soon it will be mine, all mine! (starts laughing like a maniac) What? I'm not crazy, I'm just bald!
 * Beth: (Holding onto Heather) Let go!
 * Beth: (in confessional make-up room) They make us do a lot of horrible, humiliating things to each other on the show and I haven't been very good at most of them. But, when I knocked Heather off her high pedestal and made her fall into a pit of bubbling tar, well, that was my high point of the competition. (laughs) Maybe my whole life!
 * Chris: Next up, Justin and Harold (cut to the pedestals, then to Justin's as he strikes an award-winning pose).
 * Harold: (in confessional make up room) I never thought I would say this but I'm scared of... beavers! Especially fake prehistoric beavers.
 * Chris: That leaves the teams tied, and us with a grudge match between Duncan and Courtney, on the same column! You just can't write this stuff!
 * Duncan: (laughs) Quit trying to make-out with me.
 * Duncan: (in confessional make-up room) It's like there were two Courtney's up there; The nut-job I wanted to knock into the tar pit, and the hottie in the fur bikini.
 * Chris: Well, I'd say the Gaffers had a better chance with the one million BC; BC, Before Courtney.
 * Heather: (Comes out of the black tar pit and notices her wig) Give me back my wig! (Heather assaults the Pterodactyl) Nobody messes with my hair!
 * Courtney: (in confessional make-up room with a plate of lobster) Duncan got what was coming to him, and so did I! Mmm, Lobster and Belgian chocolate!

Trivia

 * Title Reference: This episode's title is a reference to the 1966 film, One Millions Years B.C..
 * This is the first episode of the series to air first in USA, and later in Canada. The USA would continue to air episodes before Canada until Mutiny on the Soundstage.
 * This is the first Total Drama Action episode, since Alien Resurr-eggtion, where Heather has been seen with a wig.
 * This is the first episode in Total Drama Action (without counting the opening) where Duncan and Courtney kiss.
 * This is the first episode in the Total Drama Series were Scott McCord has no new lines since Owen's elimination in the previous episode.
 * This is the first episode in the Total Drama Series to not have Owen in the main episode (He was seen in the flashback, then mentioned later as a replacement mammoth).
 * The loincloths used in this challenge were later used in the beginning of 2008: A Space Owen, due to Chris needing a high budget for the space-themed challenges.
 * This is the second episode in Total Drama Action that Chris uses the confessional cam, the first being Masters of Disasters.
 * Who fought who in the fighting challenge:
 * Leshawna vs. Lindsay, Leshawna wins for the Gaffers (1-0)
 * Heather vs. Beth, Beth wins for the Grips (1-1)
 * Harold vs. Justin, it was a tie (still 1-1)
 * Duncan vs. Courtney, Courtney wins for the Grips (1-2)
 * No boy won in this part of the challenge; they either tied (Justin and Harold) or lost (Duncan).
 * Leshawna is released from the bank vault in this episode.
 * This is the first episode in the Total Drama series where Chris's chest is seen (however, only the left half is seen).
 * In the scene where Heather "brushes" Lindsay's hair to get a knot out, at one point, her hair slightly resembles Izzy's regular curly hair from her exclusive interview.
 * This episode reveals that Lindsay accidentally set her grandmother's house on fire with a curling iron, twice when she was twelve.
 * Running Gag(s): Harold being attacked by Woolly Beavers. Heather trying to cut Courtney's hair.
 * The Woolly Beavers and Stymphalian Canadian Geese return in this episode.
 * Heather's wig bears a slight resemblance to the hair of Pebbles from The Flintstones (as it is red and has a bone in it). But it excludes a bone.
 * Other references to the Flintstones are the giant ribs tied to the top of a car/golf cart, and Chef's line, "Eh, it's a living."
 * Heather calls the prehistoric goose that takes her wig "Tweety." This is a reference to the Looney Tunes character with the same name.
 * This episode marks the first time the Killer Grips won a challenge on their own, and the first time they won a reward at all.
 * Mr. Coconut (or at least half of it) makes a cameo, where Chris is seen drinking out of it.
 * This is after he got cut up by Chef, thus it is most likely the reason only the top half of it was seen.
 * This episode marks the first time Harold doesn't have his glasses on. He has dotted eyes.
 * This is the first time since Beach Blanket Bogus where Tyler has been mentioned (not counting Aftermath episodes).
 * Chris's ending line "Same Chris Time, Same Chris Channel" refers to the ending lines of almost each episode of Batman (1960s Series) with the phrase "Same Bat-Time, Same Bat-Channel!"
 * Coincidentally, he appears as Batman in Super Hero-ld.
 * We learn that Harold is afraid of beavers in this episode, or at least woolly beavers.
 * This episode marks the second time in which Duncan uses a lighter to solve a fire building challenge. This time, however, his team is penalized for its use.
 * Despite Duncan being penalized for using a modern day source of fire, many of the contestants are still seen wearing their normal shoes, and Beth and Harold are still wearing their glasses.
 * Heather gets a new wig in this episode, but gives it to Leshawna in the next episode as a farewell gift.
 * In this episode, the Screaming Gaffers show no hatred toward Leshawna.
 * This is the second time Heather called Lindsay "Lindsiot." The first was Paintball Deer Hunter in season one, and the third was in Walk Like An Egyptian - Part 1 in season three.
 * This episode shows the second time Courtney has physically hit Duncan in his groin the first being Paintball Deer Hunter.
 * After Harold is running away from the woolly beavers, Chris mentioned that the beavers were animatronic, he then faces the camera and winks at the audience, suggesting that the woolly beavers are real.
 * This is one of the few episodes to have all the characters dressed up.
 * This is the first time Harold's bare feet have been shown.
 * Lindsay mistakenly calls Tyler "Tyson." Coincidentally, in the next episode, Chris refers to Lindsay as "Ms. Tyson."
 * However, that was probably a reference to the boxer Mike Tyson.
 * Chris states that if Owen was still in the competition, there would be a mammoth hunting challenge.
 * Beth's cavegirl outfit is a reference to Pebbles from the Flintstones who had a similar green top.

Goofs

 * Lindsay's Name Goof(s): At the beginning of the episode, Lindsay makes a reference to Tyler, but mistakenly calls him "Tyson."
 * An orange leopard skin loincloth is thrown at Duncan, but Justin is the one wearing it. Duncan is shown to wear a loincloth similar to the one that Chris was wearing.
 * Justin is mysteriously absent in the fire making part of the challenge.
 * Heather cuts off some off Courtney's hair in the confessional, but it is never shown being gone after this.
 * Chris's loincloth switches shoulders several times during the episode.
 * In the beginning of the episode, the mole on Leshawna's face switches from right to left and back again.
 * When Heather fell into the tar, she could stand up in it, but when the cart with the ribs falls in, it sinks.
 * After Heather tackles the bird and drags it away, if you look closely, you can see the outline of her shorts covered in tar instead of her loincloth.
 * In the fire making challenge, right after Heather tried to get some of Courtney's hair, Beth is much bigger than normal.