User blog:DramaDot/The Bold and the Booty-ful Review

The Bold and the Booty-ful



We’re getting closer and closer to the end of the season, and it’s getting more and more ominous each time.

'''It is time to play the music, it’s time to  light the lights, it’s time to get things started on my Total Drama All-Stars review series tonight! I’m Dot and today we’re getting nearer to the end with Episode Twelve, The Bold and the Booty-ful! C’MON LESHAWNA CAMEO, DON’T FAIL ME NOW!!! Let’s dive right in. Oh yeah, this review contains spoilers for Avengers: Endgame. And maybe Total Drama, too.'''

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'''So the recap starts off pleasantly enough, with Chris using alliteration and chuckling deviously, as usual. Then we get the visual that every fan wanted to see, deep down in our hearts: the Yeti or whatever his name is using the Flush of Shame as an actual toilet. That’s what we deserve for asking for an All-Stars season.'''

'''Speaking of All-Stars...Scott is sitting on the cabin bench pining over Courtney. Mal manipulates him into believing that it’s somehow Gwen’s fault that Courtney was eliminated. I mean, that’s sort of true. Gwen told Courtney to vote for herself, and if C followed her instructions, the vote for herself probably got her eliminated (3-2). The other possibilities for that vote (assuming Courtney voted for herself) would be these: Courtney votes for Scott, eliminating him in a (3-2) vote, or Courtney votes for Mal/Zoey/Gwen, forcing a tiebreaker between her and Scott (2-2-1). '''

“I don’t want your pity, I want your head on a platter!”

'''Wow, Scott’s dark all of a sudden. He went from “she wasn’t all bad” to “I must kill everyone who got her eliminated”.'''

'''Now we get some quality time in Mike’s head. Wait a second, since when does Mal care about the million dollars? I mean, his priority is getting the other personalities out of his head. I’m surprised that Chris was able to fund another season, considering that he lost the million dollars in World Tour. '''

'''All the personalities come across Manitoba Smith, who’s lassoing Mike’s romantic fantasy dreams with Zoey and burning them. At least HE’S actually doing something useful, unlike butter sculpting, skateboard selling, or puppetry! Mike wants to give Zoey a REAL kiss? I don’t understand this kid. '''

'''So in an attempt to establish dominance over his other personalities, Mike randomly shows them his ID. Except it has Mal’s face on it. Mal is the real personality? Interesting… Where did Mike get that ID? Why didn’t he show it to the other personalities before? Did he never even look at it? Did Mal change the photo from Mike to himself? I have too many questions about that scene.'''

'''Zoey pretends she has diarrhea so that she can look at the shiny Chris paintings. Oh look, she found the DVD of Mal’s greatest hits.'''

'''WOW, IT TOOK YOU THAT LONG TO REALIZE THAT?? YOU’VE JUST BEEN STARING AT THE SAME CLUES ALL SEASON AND YOU JUST REALIZE THAT NOW?! That’s really dumb.'''

“I feel like such a fool for not realizing sooner!’

'''Woah, what a concept. Mal takes Zoey’s hand at the docks and promises her that he’s really Mike. Zoey doesn’t believe him. Oh, now you’re Ms. Skepticism, I get it.'''

'''Chris comes to the campers from above in a pirate costume. I’m going to count that as a cameo since I have nothing better to do this episode. Chef in a parrot costume is the best. What happened to the parrot from Top Dog? Did he go on to win international fame and adoration among his feathered peers?'''

“No way am I letting anyone else win this challenge, especially Mal!”

Commando Zoey cameo?

Please?

'''So Mal has to find a Gemmie, Zoey has to find, um, “The Yeti”, Scott has to find a diamond (which is of course guarded by Fang), and Gwen has to find some art of Chris. '''

'''Win UNFAIRLY, Mal? That’s SO unusual for you!'''

“Thanks again, Duncan.”

'''What did Duncan have to do with all of this?? Gwen easily finds a portrait and Mal ignores the fact that if he comes in last, he’ll be eliminated, and decides to hit Gwen over the head with a pipe instead. Oh yeah, and Zoey swings from a vine. Commercial break!'''

'''Mal’s strategy is really faulty. He’s basically relying on all the other competitors to be bad in order to succeed. He messes with them but doesn’t focus on the game himself. So Gwen falls hook line and sinker for his weird explanation.'''

'''While Iron Man rubs the fact that he’s dead in my face while trying to sell me Frosted Flakes, I might as well analyze the Final Four and how I feel about them so far. This review is pretty short anyways.'''

'''Gwen: being the only first-gen left, I have a bit of a soft spot for her. She’s kind of whiplashing back and forward though, with her whole moping about being a Villain gag. At the beginning, she had no purpose. Her breakup with Duncan was messy, not to mention poorly written and not at all thought out. After that, her entire purpose was to serve as the focus of Gwentney. Now that Courtney’s gone, I’m hoping for a little more purpose out of her and maybe some more of her TDI self. But since she’s reached the finale before (and was my preferred ending), it’s unlikely she’ll go further than Final Three, at the most.'''

'''Mike/Mal: okay, I loved him in Revenge. But hiis MPD is basically his only asset. Mal is a boring villain who takes too long to put his simple plans in action. He bumbles around magically fooling everyone better than Alejandro and is a bit of a godplayer (not in performance, though). The brain scenes are just gross time filler and his other personalities are not even participating. I’m tired of seeing him randomly manipulate everyone. I just want a Final Four downfall for him.'''

'''Zoey: she’s really making me mad this season. To those who say Alejandro is a godplayer, just watch Zoey jump 22 feet into the air, balance on a pole 1-inch-wide, and win three individual challenges in a row (including this one). She’s had no plot outside of not figuring out who Mal is, which is really obnoxious. None of her past interactions even stand, and she’s somehow turned into this no-development “retro” girl that has no “retro” elements whatsoever. As much as I hate to say it, she’s making it to the finale. With Mal, no doubt.'''

'''Scott: yeah, you probably know by now that Scott’s made a big jump up my rankings. I REALLY want him to make the finale, though I doubt it. If possible, a Scott v Zoey finale would be fine with me, but only because Zoey and Scott have actually interacted. Or Scott v Mal, actually. He’s funny, quirky, and pretty well-developed. Sure, he’s derailed from his ROTI self, but considering how people hate his ROTI self, I’d say that’s some pretty good derailment. The farmer boy stereotype works well with his personality and his design is really well made. Like I said, I wish he’d make it to the finale so bad, but the Zoke finale is inevitable.'''

'''Yes, win! Use your head!'''

 

'''So commercial break is over now. Mal somehow talks his way out of almost hitting Gwen on the head and she smacks him with the ripped fragments of a Chris painting. Come on, Gwen, use your TDI sense! I know I’m unoriginal to summon your TDI self, but it’s true that you’re nearly senseless this season! Is NOBODY going to stop Mal??'''

'''For some reason, Sas--the Yeti is cooking some eggs straight out of the nest. I kind of expected him to have a “Kiss the Cook” apron, but nope. Zoey grabs the eggs and runs. Can’t she just run to the finish line with the Yeti behind her? Is that her plan?'''

'''We switch over to Scott, who’s climbed up the mast and is dangling a rope above a sunbathing Fang. Lol, where did Fang get those sunglasses?'''

“Pappy taught me to hogtie pigs when I was a kid.”

'''How do you hogtie pigs? That looks like a noose to me, but I’m not a farmer. Oh yeah, and Scott is. Don’t forget that.'''



'''Scott is totally a shark farmer now. Look at his adorable green galoshes. Lol, Fang’s expression when he gets caught is hilarious. But Scott fails nonetheless and Mal comes to manipulate him. Why does Mal always linger evilly in the background and watch other contestants fail, then go “help” them?'''

'''I wish Scott would win a challenge for once. But nope, apparently sharks are nothing like pigs! Lol...so Mal comes to manipulate him as I said before, and we get this line from him in the confessional.'''

“Hehehe...sometimes it’s too easy…”

'''Yeah, because you’re “magically” super talented (thanks only to the writers), Gwen is acting weird and moody, Zoey is STILL clueless even after seeing the DVD, and Scott’s just loveable and dumb. Since when does Mal care about the million dollars? I mean, that’s nice and all, but what’s his motivation? He just poofed into existence in Evil Dread; wouldn’t he be a little confused as to what he’s doing?'''

'''Wow, Gwen’s all dusty and somehow not dead. What continuity. She finds a Chris painting then promptly smudges it. How could she smudge a painting? It’s dry, right? It’s just dirt that’s on the canvas. So you’re a painter now, I get it.'''

'''Zoey’s still running away from *ahem* the Yeti. I understand. Good to know that she exists and has a minor role this episode. Mal sabotages Scott and he gets beat up by Fang, wow, didn’t see THAT coming.'''

Speeding things up…

'''Gwen uses bear poo to fix the Chris painting, EWWWW, what’s gotten into you, Gwen??!! Bathroom jokes are rarely appealing to anyone older than eight years old. I feel VERY confident in the comedic quality of this show. Makes me miss TDI, which was really funny. Haha, Mal’s not looking for his treasure. Haha, hilarious. '''

'''Zoey wins in a shocking twist. Excuse me while I blink very slowly. Mal brings back an injured Scott, which somehow satisfies Chris. Whatever, Zoey still won. Doesn’t change anything. Chris vomits on Gwen’s painting, which she somehow managed to vandalize via bear poop smudging?'''

'''Chris vomiting looks weird. I’m surprised that Gwen didn’t drop the painting out of disgust. Chris vomits some more, and Gwen is eliminated. That’s sad. Now we just have the Final Three, Mike, Zoey, and Scott. Oh look, time for more brain filler. I thought we were done with this already.'''

'''Is it weird that I kind of ship Manitoba and Vito? I don’t know why. So Svetlana pep talks Mike to make him feel better about “not being the original personality”. Mike realizes the whole “it’s all in your head” gag and rolls a piece of intestine/brains into a key. He frees Manitoba and epic theme music plays in the background. Mike’s brain IS gross.'''

'''So Gwen is flushed and she complains a lot. Zoey, being the winner, gets to pick who to bring with her to the finale. Mike/Mal or Scott? Confessional time!'''

'“I want to bring Mike to the finale, not Mal! But if I ditch Mal now, Mike could be lost forever! Ah, seriously.”  '

'''NO, NOT SERIOUSLY. MIKE’S NOT LOST, JUST GET HIM A PSYCHIATRIST. DO PSYCHIATRISTS NOT EXIST IN TOTAL DRAMA??!! '''

“I promised to have a friendship finale…”

You did and it was really gross.

“...but things have seriously changed since then…”

'''IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS??!!! AHHHHH, YES. MIKE IS GONNA GET FLUSHED AND SCOTT WILL BE IN THE FINALE!!!'''

“...but I’m a girl of my word…”

Ummm…

“...so sorry, Scott.”

'UM UM UM UM EXCUSE ME??? '

​​​​​​​'''I’m not that upset or anything, just disappointed for two reasons. One, Scott, beautiful Scott, has just been eliminated. The other is that Mike and Zoey are the final two, and quite possibly the most obvious one from the start! You’re probably expecting a long rant, but this review has been quite tiring, so I’m just going to post it and save my rant for next episode.'''

'''Stay tuned next for the last episode, The Final Wreck-ening, and my personal least favorite of all Total Drama episodes! It’s all going down and I’m here to review it.'''