User:Rainbowderp01/Moon Madness (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama All-Stars... After swapping teams, Courtney and Duncan were stuck living with the enemy. Ha ha. But while Courtney was given the cold shoulder by every villain but Scott, Duncan got a hero's welcome so warm, it made him question his own bad boyhood. At challenge time, giant pancakes were gobbled down, and in a few cases, thrown right back up, thanks to a barf-tacular obstacle course! [chuckles] Way to reswallow, bro. The heroes finish first, but an uneaten chunk of cake in Sam's pockets sent the heroes to Loserville. And Sam took a particularly awkward Flush o' Shame. Only ten players remain. Which one of them is gonna take a circle-y swim in the big porcelain bowl? Find out right here, right now, on Total. Drama. All-Stars!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

[ Theme song ]

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Duncan: [spitting]

Cameron: This slop tastes like dirt gravy, which technically would be mud, but, whoa!

Mike: Wow, Cam. You okay? Here you go, buddy.

[snap]

Cameron: Oh boy.

Zoey: [gasps] [confessional] I can't believe what I just saw. Or have just seen. No, saw. Either way, I can't believe it!

[flashback]

[thud]

Mike: [deep inhale]

[flashback ends]

Zoey: [confessional] Why would Mike do that to Cameron? They're friends! Did Mike break Sam's Game Guy too? And Sierra's smartphone? But why?

Sierra: [confessional] Look at my hand. It looks so weird without my phone. And without my phone, do I even exist? And if I can't talk to him, does Cody exist? [real time] Zoey, can you see me? Am I here? [screams]

Zoey: Ow! What was that for?

Sierra: I thought you couldn't see me!

Zoey: What?!

Sierra: I thought I was invisible. Thanks, Zoey.

Zoey: What?

_________________________________________________________________________________________

[whistling]

Heather: Ugh, do you have to whistle through your nose while you eat, Windie?

Alejandro: [sighs] Typical Heather.

Heather: [gasps] [confessional] Typical Heather? He calls that a comeback? It's like he's not even trying! It's like he's lost interest in me. No one has ever lost interest in me!

Alejandro: [confessional] To get the upper hand, I must throw Heather off her game. And so far, so bueno. Muy bueno.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Courtney: [sighs] I feel like I'm missing something. But what? What could it possibly--

[bird chirps like Scott's laugh]

Courtney: [gasps] Scott! I actually miss that scuzzball! I wonder how he's doing on Boney Island.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Scott: Yoohoo! Invincibility statue! Come to papa!

[rustling]

[bear roars]

Scott: [screams] Hey! What the...?

[helicopter whirs]

Scott: Ha! Later, sucker! [grunting]

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Evening, campers! Gather round the starting line for a big announcement!

[helicopter whirs]

Scott: [screams] [grunts] [groans]

Courtney: Oh, my gosh! Are you okay!

Scott: Ha, why wouldn't I be? That was nothing.

[cracking]

Scott: [groaning]

Courtney: Well, good. Because we have a challenge to win! Get it together!

Scott: Uh... yes ma'am! [confessional] Maybe it's 'cause Pappy's in the army and Mawmaw's a waitress, but I kinda like taking orders.

Courtney: [confessional] My only interest in Scott is as an ally. Really! Sure, he's cute, but in a sloppy, rustic sort of way. Like a shack with nice curtains or a donkey wearing a wig.

Chris: Good news, you guys. As a special treat, it's time for an extremely dangerous nighttime challenge!

Gwen: How is this "good news"?

Chris: Entertainment value. Hello! This one is gonna be ratings gold! In a nod to season four's buried treasure fiasco, your challenge is to race to the far end of the island. First team to get every member across the finish line wins. And, someone from the losing team will be taking the big flush.

Duncan: Sounds easy enough.

Chris: It does, doesn't it? But tonight's full moon is an extremely rare blue harvest moon, and let's just say it has an unusual effect on the island's animals. [chuckles] Villainous Vultures, you won the last challenge, so you get this map with the fastest route across the island. Heroic Chumpsters, you get to wear nifty bacon hats and sausage tails, which should add to the fun when you come face-to-fang with the islands friendly creatures. And by friendly, I mean hungry. [chuckles]

Mike: If the villains have a map of the quickest route...

Cameron: We should follow them! Great idea, Mike!

[indistinct whispers]

Cameron: He did what?!

Gwen: [sighs]

Heather: This will be a piece of cake.

Chris: On your mark...

Alejandro: [sighs] You mean a piece of pie.

Chris: Get set!

Heather: Listen, you--

[airhorn blares]

Gwen: Woohoo!

Scott: Yeah!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Cameron: Mike, why'd you break my glasses?

Mike: What? I didn't! Who told you that?

Cameron: Zoey made me promise not to say she saw you do it. Oops. Sorry, Zoey.

Mike: Seriously? Aw, man. I don't know what's been up with me lately. I haven't been able to summon my other personalities for days. And now I think I might be sleepwalking and breaking things and... aw, I'm so sorry, Cam.

Cameron: It's okay, Mike. I forgive you, and I promise I'll help you figure it out. Whatever it is! Ugh!

Mike: You're a great friend, Cam. Uh, Cam?

Sierra: Don't worry, Cody! I'll be your eyes and ears and as many nostrils as you need me to be.

Cameron: Cody? Uh, you mean Cameron, right?

Sierra: Sure. [giggles] You guys! Look!

Cameron: Ah!

Zoey: What in the world?

Cameron: Blue moonlight? Extraordinary!