User blog:PPPSSC/Ezekiel Is The Best (SATIRE)

Certainly, this character is the greatest character of all. He got voted off first in the first season; therefore he is AMAZING and as a result deserves to win. I like all of his characterization except for his sexist comments, behaving arrogantly, going after the money, making stupid mistakes, being treated like crap for no reason, dropping the stick, being turned into a zombie, and the fact that he got voted off first again.

Clearly, Ezekiel is a better person than all of the others. The only reason no one agrees is because the writers didn't give him all the traits in his bio. After all, the show mentions Noah's older siblings all the time, so why couldn't it have mentioned Ezekiel's eight languages? He was in two episodes of Total Drama World Tour before being eliminated, which was more than enough time for them to treat him this way.

Not only that, but Ezekiel shouldn't have been voted off first again. It would have been much more fulfilling if Ezekiel won and spotlight stealing squads like Gwen got voted off immediately. It would have been especially fulfilling if Ezekiel outlasted Cody and Noah. No one wants to see either of them do well, after all.

Oh, also, Ezekiel is supremely competent in the first episode because he jumped off a cliff. No one else did, except for most of both teams. It also requires great amounts of skill to jump off a cliff, and actually, it's more likely for a smart person than a dumb or careless person to. Plus, because he didn't say anything sexist in the almost two episodes leading up to his use of them, he must have just randomly acquired it. No one ever has dormant traits; that's why Alejandro had been trying to get Noah eliminated since Slap, Slap Revolution.

Also, his negative traits are all merely mistakes, so we should gloss over them. Meanwhile, Owen farts all the time, so anything he does that might be considered "funny" doesn't count. Therefore, it has come to my attention that Ezekiel is a better catch than Owen and should go out with Izzy instead. They barely know each other? Well, that's perfect for a relationship.

Poe's Law Shield: ;)