User:Rainbowderp01/Twinning Isn't Everything (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama: Pahkitew Island, the teams ran a super slippery race while holding some very rare pork. Ella sang, again. And Jasmine won it for the Pimâpotew Kinosewak. And while Team Waneyihtam Maskwak had to say "later" to Leonard the LARPer, they did find a cave to call home. Today's challenge is treacherous, deadly, and unless you're doing it, hilarious. [chuckles] Who will survive to play another day? And who will be sent home via Giant Cannon Airlines? Find on right here, right now. On Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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Jasmine: You know that you don't have to help me every morning just 'cause Amy tells you to.

Samey: You... you don't want me to come?

Jasmine: That's not what I said. I just want it to be your decision, not hers. Stop letting your sister treat you like a servant.

Samey: Oh, she never treats me that well.

Jasmine: Then do something about it!

Samey: How can I? She's everyone's favorite. She's the pretty one.

Jasmine: You're indentical twins! You're both the pretty one!

Samey: Really?

Jasmine: Samey, look. The first person who stands up for you has gotta be you.

Samey: Wow. So are we like, friends? If not, that's okay. I don't have a lot of friends, so I-I'm not, I just--

Jasmine: The way Amy treats you bothers me, so yeah, I guess we're friends. And I have trouble making friends too. I don't know why but--

[apples fall]

Jasmine: People find me a bit intimidating.

[tree falls]

Samey: [confessional] Maybe I have been letting Amy get away with too much. One time, I let her shave my head so that people could "tell us apart". Jasmine's right! I've gotta stand up for myself!

Shawn: Hey.

Jasmine: G'day, Shawn.

Samey: Um, I'm going over there.

Jasmine: So, Shawn, any zombies sighted in the area? [giggles]

Shawn: [confessional] Usually when I talk to a girl, I'm the one who has to bring up the undead. Looks, survival skills, and a healthy fear of reanimated corpses? Man, this girl has everything! No zombie sightings, yet. But they can walk underwater so they can be on this island right now.

Jasmine: Definitely. They could be anywhere.

Shawn: I better get this food back to the others. I'll uh, see you around?

Jasmine: I'll be here.

Samey: Were you talking about zombies?

Jasmine: [giggles] Yeah. It's just a little running joke between us.

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Shawn: Hey! Who's hungry?

Sugar: [squeals]

Sugar and Shawn: [grunt]

Sugar: I can eat the legs off a table, and we ain't even got one.

Ella: Oh, Shawn! As a special thank you, I'd like to sing you a song! [clears throat]

[Ella]

The fruit Shawn brought

Brought joy to the--

Sugar: Eat up, Ella. You look skinny enough to run through a rainstorm without getting wet.

Sky: I got fresh water from the stream. Don't wanna get dehyrdated during the challenge.

Dave: Awesome! So great, you are so...

[Ella]

The water Sky brought

Brought joy to the--

Dave: Thank you, but no song required.

Shawn: Ella, maybe you could go sing to the other team as a sign of uh, friendly competition?

Ella: [gasps] That is a wonderful idea! [vocalizes]

Shawn and Sky: Phew.

Dave: So Sky, as I was saying...

Sky: Nice on, Shawn. And great job finding this cave. Hey, if you want help foraging tomorrow--

Dave: I'll help too! Tomorrow! I'll forage with you guys! Totally!

Shawn: Uh... sounds great.[confessional] I'm not digging all the friend stuff going on here. Comfortable people let their guard down. Pfft! Hello? Might as well put out a bowl of brains and a sign that says "Zombies Eat Free!"

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Rodney: Look at all this stuff. Thanks, Jasmine. Thanks, Amy.

Samey: Amy? It was me! Not Amy!

Amy: Ugh, what is your problem, Samey?

Samey: I'm tired of you taking credit for things that I do.

Topher: And Samey is on the attack!

Jasmine: Samey, this might not be the right time.

Samey: I'm the nice one. Amy is a monster!

Amy: [gasps] How could you say that? I'm your sister! [cries]

Max: Jealousy is the lowest form of evil.

Rodney: Samey, what is wrong with you?

Samey: I, I-I... ugh!

Topher: And after laying down some brutal blows, Samey heads off. Will Team Maskwak be able to get past this? Stay tuned to find out.

Ella: [sing-song] Good morning, other team. Who'd like to hear a song?

Chris: [over loudspeaker] No one, Ella! It's challenge time! All butts to the meeting area in five!

Topher: I'm coming, Chris!

Jasmine: I'm gonna go check on Samey.

[loving music]

Rodney: [confessional] Poor Amy. She's gonna be crushed when I tell her it's over. But I can't deny what my heart is writing in the stars. It's writing "Jasmine".

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Topher: [panting] Morning, Chris. Totally pumped for today's challenge.

Chris: Oh, good. I can't tell you how little that means to me.

Topher: You think I could explain the challenge to the others?

Chris: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's kinda the host's job, Topher.

Topher: Right, right, I'm sorry. I'm just excited. It's like we're already winners because we got to meet Chris. The Chris McLean! Wow!

Chris: Well said, Topher.

Sugar: [confessional] That Topher's as wily as a hog with a library card. I wouldn't trust him any farther than I can throw a tractor, and that ain't more than a couple of feet.

Chris: Gather round, victims. Today's game is called "Doom Balloons!"

Max: You had me at "doom".

Topher: Shh! Go ahead, Chris.

Chris: You'll have ten seconds to collect a bunch of balloons that are filled with who-knows-what. Talc, paint, itching powder, bees, spiders, bird poop, it's always a surprise. [chuckles]

Ella: Yay! Who doesn't love a surprise?

Chris: None of you! None of you will love a surprise!

Topher: [laughs] Chris! I love the way you th--

[whistle blows]

Chris: If you're hit with any balloon contents, you're out. It doesn't matter if the balloons are thrown, dropped, launched, kicked, or sent by currier.