User blog:TheScottBird/Irritated: A "The Final Wreck-ening" Review

Okay, so I was so pumped up to watch this episode. I was all over the place - shopping, going out to eat, visiting people - and guess what. I was annoyed because I wanted to watch this finale! So here's my thoughts:

I thought Mr. Coconut was going to win from the start. Why else would he cameo? But whatever. The episode starts with a kinda well-written Mal-Zoey interaction. Then we go into Mike's brain. Mike shouting "Chester!" when the door falls on them was the highlight of the episode for me for some reason. So the five manage to get inside of the "Mal tower," and there are about twenty flights of stairs to the top. -_- So back to the "overworld," Mal and Zoey get to choose from a variety of weapons for an unknown reason. Mr. Coconut was one of them. But Zoey picks a bow/arrow, and Mal picks a BAZOOKA. So they have to pop open balloons that contain the contestants who formerly competed in the season. NOPE, not any from the other seasons. So Zoey gets bubbled Cameron and Gwen, and Mal gets his rival Alejandro and his girlfriend Heather. So we learn that Alejandro and Heather are a...couple. That was just surprising to me. They actually kissed. But then, the other contestans floated away towards the sun...to...explode... I thought the challenge was to save them, but it's not. So they have to climb a mountain. Heather and Alejandro don't care about the money... Okay, then... So Zoey gets the lead, and Mal reaches ahead of her. He tries murdering Heather, but she is saved. He leaves his group behind. Great plan, broski! Leave two of the strongest and strategic players in TD history behind. So Gwen and Cameron manage to follow Zoey. Okay, what else can the godplayer do? So Mal pretty much tries to commit homicide again on Cam and Gwen, but fails. So inside of Mal's brain, we learn that the five original personas reached the top in, like, five minutes. Bravo! So they have to press a button, which will rid of all of the disorder from Mike. HOW ARE THE PRODUCERS OKAY WITH TREATING A SERIOUS DISORDER LIKE THIS? So then Mal attempts to...flatten Zoey by jumping on her. And then he tries drowning her. But he disappears. Turns out Mike had pressed the button, and the other personas had commited suicide to aid him. So then Mal tries to kill Mike in his...brain. But he slowly vanishes, and Mike is saved. So who was in control of the body while they were fighting each other? But to cut the chase, in the most "cheesiest" twist ever - Al and Heather kiss, Zoey and Mike kiss, and...Gwen kisses Cameron. Man, Cameron's got chicks this season! But back to the point, Chris gets annoyed and says that "anyone" can win the million now. Oh, I forgot to mention that the challenge (pulling out a sword) is a reference to the Legend of Zelda. I caught that. So I thought for sure Mr. Coconut was gonna knock the sword out because Owen throws him at it. Nope! In the most quickest and worst "attempt at dramatic" moment ever - Mike wins! So the episode ends with only Gwen, Cameron, Zoey, Mike, Mal, Chester, Svelenta, Vito, Manitoba, Chris, Chef, the animals, Heather, Alejandro, and Owen's closure to the series. Oh btw, Chris announces the new cast but not the season name. And the island sinks because Chef built the challenge out of a "fracking machine." NO, GWEN! NOT A FRICKING MACHINE! Geez, the contestants must know of America's censory. So that's it. The personalities are gone, Mike has a million dollars, kissed Zoey, and has his other personalities' abilities, Gwen is normal and likes Cameron I guess, Cameron is in an okay state with a broken arm, Heather and Alejandro are dating, and Owen likes water-skiing... THE END.

NOOOO! What is this sh*t? I am ticked off! So Dakota and Ezekiel are still harmed and mutated? (Oh, forgot to mention that Chris DOES mention Ezekiel, but he doesn't appear.) Did the other contestants in the balloons just get killed? What happened to the others? Geez. NO PEANUT GALLERY!? THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN AN HOUR LONG! LAST SEASON'S FINALE WAS BETTER AND THE VETERANS WEREN'T EVEN THEEEERE!

But no worries. You know how everyone heard Chris say, "It's something you'll regret for the rest of your life," in the promo? Well he doesn't say that! Maybe there will be a special, where all of the contestants compete for the million on...Pahkitew Island! And then the new cast arrives. Maybe. But there has to be a special! If there isn't, then I'm going to lower the series on my "Favorite TV shows" list. -_- Well, now you all know why I'm irritated!

Pros of the episode: The "Mal, Mike, Milk" joke, Mike saying "Chester!", the Mr. Coconut cameo, the Owen cameo, Chef dressed up again, Mal attempting murder

Cons of the episode: All except above. Mainly the cheesy and poorly-written ending and Mal's quick closure to the show.