User:Rainbowderp01/Rapa Phooey! (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama World Tour... Africa! Come for the safari, stay for the near-death experience. Here, we played a few rounds of the world's favorite game. And then, we went on a wild Ezekiel hunt. 'Cept nobody told Duncan it was open season on him. [laughs] Ouch. And after all that, Heather and Alejandro voted the delinquent out. Harsh! Plus, Sierra, the lovesick monkey, rescued Cody from another lovesick monkey. Only Alejandro won and stole him away to first class. Can it get any wilder? Oh yeah, it can. It's final four time right here on Total. Drama. World Tour!

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[ Theme song ]

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Cody: [snoring] [gasps] My socks are still on? I'm still in the same position I fell asleep in? [sniffs] I don't smell like crazy? Oh, Sierra left me alone all night!

Alejandro: She did try to sneak in. Seven times. But I sleep with one eye open for a reason.

Cody: Oh, mm! Thank you!

Alejandro: Please, my friend. It was nothing. Could we get up before someone sees us? [confessional] [yawns] Win African challenge, invite pathetically grateful nerdling to first class, win today's challenge, get nerdling to vote for Heather. Done, done, and oh so close I can taste it. [real time] While you were sleeping, Chris delivered my prize for winning. Sadly, I do not have much of a sugar tooth.

Cody: Yes?

Alejandro: And as my dear mama always says, I am sweet enough already.

Cody: Yes?

Alejandro: Plus, I would rather not pollute my system with chemicals and dyes.

Cody: Can I have it?!

Alejandro: Oh. Would you like it? Please, enjoy!

Cody: Oh! [chewing loudly] I owe you one, man! [chuckles]

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Sierra: The marriage has been maybe... a teensy weensy bit rocky so far. But I will do whatever it takes! So what do you recommend?

Heather: Ugh, I am not a therapist.

Sierra: Just pretend!

Heather: How is this supposed to do anything?

Sierra: I need advice desperately! How do I make my marriage work?

Heather: [confessional] "Marry somebody you don't have to trick into it, move out of Crazytown and join the rest of us in the real world, and leave Heather alone!" is what I would have said. [sighs] But with Alejandro in first undoing all my hard work on Cody, Mrs. Crazytown could be my only chance! So... do not judge me.

Sierra: Please! [crying] Please.

Heather: Fine. You wanna know what I really think?

Sierra: Yes. Maybe. No. Yes. Maybe?

Heather: It is time for you to start trusting the girls in your life.

Sierra: How will that save my relationship?

Heather: Boyfriends come and go, but girlfriends are forever. And girl to girl, it is my duty to warn you. Alejandro is trying to destroy your marriage. You need to get him out of your experience and the game.

Sierra: Ha! Heh. Oh, you're so funny.

Heather: Funny weird, or funny "I'm gonna vote for Alejandro at the next elimination"?

Sierra: As if you want Alejandro to leave. You're so into him, his kidneys are getting crowded. [confessional] Between me and Cody-Wody and the Heather-Alejandro love fest, this plane is starting to feel like one huge double date in a can. Well, 'cept for Chris and Chef. Chef isn't really Chris' type.

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Chris: [over PA] Attention, passengers! Please prepare for landing! [to Chef] Come on, just let me fly it once! What can it hurt? It's technically my plane, you know.

Chris and Chef: [grunting]

Chris: Ow, my pinkie!

Chef: Hey!

Chris: Oh no! Wah!

Chef: Gosh darn it!

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Alejandro: Another piece of world heritage destroyed.

Heather: That is not the only chiseled rock that is going to get destroyed today.

Alejandro: Chiseled, you say?

Heather: [laughs nervously] I-I said gristled. Arrogant much?

Cody: Al, you've gotta try this taffy!

Alejandro: Alejandro. And I am not hungry.

Cody: That's the beauty of candy. No hunger required! Gobsmackers, jelly roaches, sour ears! Mm.

Sierra: Cody! Honey, look at you! Oh, you've changed so much. Way taller!

Cody: [chuckles] Think so?

Sierra: I'm going to have to trim your hair and your nails.

Heather: Aw, anybody got a camera? You guys are too cute!

Sierra: [confessional] Heather always manages to stay in this game way longer than you'd expect. And I've studied Total Drama long enough to know alliances never last! So I'm open to all offers, but I'll never make the mistake of staying loyal to anyone long term. Except my sugar-frosted Cody-O. [chuckles]

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[bird squawking]

Chris: Iorana.

All: Ah!

Sierra: Wow, Chris. You've been working out.

Chris: And welcome to Easter Island. AKA, Rapa Nui. Place is old. These dudes were carved so long ago, no one even remembers why anymore. Ten bucks says it started as a dare.

Heather: Twenty bucks says get on with it.

Chris: Yeah. Today, you, our final four, are going on a highly traditional Easter Island egg hunt.

Cody: For chocolate Easter eggs?

Chris: Uh, no. I'm talking the old school kind of eggs, that come from birds, you know? Those flying things with feathers and talons and vicious "kill you in a second" beaks.

Alejandro: [gasps]

Chris: Speaking of which... traditional feathered Rapa Nui headdresses. Wear 'em with pride, chickens.

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Chris: Hidden in these head things are a bunch of colored eggs that match the color of your... head things.

Heather: Wow. You really did your research.

Chris: Your challenge? To find three eggs in your color. Then make a break for the massive underground cavern system and book it all the way up to the highest point on the island. Reach the top with all three eggs to begin the second part of today's challenge.

Heather: What happens if we drop and egg?

Chris: You'll have to come all the way back here for a replacement, and no, you cannot take a backup egg. First to the top gets a big advantage in part two. Now, scramble!

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Alejandro: These look disturbingly familiar.

Sierra: It's everyone who's been voted out.

Alejandro: [grunting]

Sierra: [gasps] Got one!

Alejandro: Blue's my color. Thank you, Sierra.