User:Rainbowderp01/Aquarium for a Dream (Transcript)

[ Theme song ]

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Chef: Good morning, children! Meet the newest member of our daycare, Richard Swimmons!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: Yay!

Chef: And to learn about responsibility, you kids will take care of him.

Izzy: Me first! Me first! Me! Me-me-me-me! Good morning, Richard Swimmons! Are you hungry?

[Izzy]

Feedin' Richard Swimmons

Feedin' Richard Swimmons

I've got arms and he's got fins

A-feedin' Richard Swimmons

A-feedin' Richard Swim-- huh?

Izzy: Empty? Ugh! Richard's not going hungry on my watch! Hmm... "Savory steakhouse sirloin flavor"? Yah, yes please!

[waves rush]

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Waiter: Your twenty steaks, madam.

Izzy: Yes! Thank you. Hm, we'll also have two steak sodas and for dessert, some steak ice cream!

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Izzy: [sighs]

[pop]

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Chef: Who keeps feeding the puppets jam? Puppets aren't real! Stop trying to make 'em eat!

Puppet: Hmm?

Chef: [sighs] What is wrong with these kids?

Izzy: Chef! Something's wrong with Richard Swimmons! Did I not feed him enough?

Chef: Pretty sure that's not the problem. Don't worry. Richard just needs to freshen up a bit.

[zoom]

Chef: There, good as new!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: Yay!

Gwen: Huh. That was an amazing recovery.

Chef: Ha. Truth is, Richard's a picky eater. Only three shakes of food or he's gonna-- [gasps] Uh... Or else, there's a chance he'll... [strains] You know what? From now on, feeding Richard is a Chef job, okay? Heh. Okay. [groans]

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[squeak]

Harold: Wow, your bowl is filthy, Richard. Don't worry, I'll fix it up! Your home will be clean as a whistle!

[whistling music]

[squirting]

[bubbling]

Chef: Oh, come on! How did gum get in this book when gum isn't even allowed in the daycare?

[blow, pop]

Chef: Bubbles? Oh, that can't be good.

Harold: Doesn't it make him seem happier now that his bowl's squeaky clean? Look at him in there! Floating on his back and chilling like a boss.

Chef: Harold, Richard looks uh... like a boss! Ha, I'm just gonna take him for a drink of fresh water.

Owen: I hope Richard is okay.

Beth, Duncan, Harold, and Owen: Yay! Woohoo!

Gwen: So Richard is fine?

Chef: Well... actually... he was! Heh heh, and now his bowl's clean, so no one needs to clean it again. Ever! Got it? Okay.

Gwen: Hmm... Something fishy's going on here. Wait, was that a pun? Ugh, so mainstream. I disappoint me.

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[rain pours]

Beth: Brr... it's raining outside and now I'm soaked and c-c-c-c-cold. [gasps] Richard Swimmons must be freezing! Not only is he soaking wet, but he's naked too!

[click]

Beth: There. This heater oughtta warm him up.

[cats meowing]

Chef: Does anyone else hear cats? [sniffs] And why does it smell like a seafood res-- Oh, come on!

Beth: Richard Swimmons was chilly, so we're warming him up.

Gwen: Something wrong with Richard, Chef?

Chef: Hm? Oh, n-nah, he's all good. I just need to... to, uh, yake him to his doctor's appointment. Heh. Yeah, that.

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Harold: I hope Richard is okay. I-I didn't even know fish had doctors.

Beth: Duh, they're called sturgeons.

[clink]

Beth: Well?

Chef: Well what? Oh! Oh, right. Ha ha, perfectly healthy!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: Yay!

Duncan: Yeah, Richard!

Owen: Wow, fish doctors are fast.

Chef: But you know, when you boil a fish... see, uh, cooked fish is usually... [growls] No more fish on the heater, okay?

Gwen: [confessional] Okay, Chef is definitely up to something. But what? Black magic? Necromancy? Ooh, I hope it's necromancy.

Harold: Did you guys hear what Chef said? A perfect bill of health! Richard Swimmons isn't just tough. He's invincible.

Duncan: Yeah! He shouldn't be stuck in that bowl anyway! He should be out having fun with us!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: Yeah!

Gwen: Guys? Maybe don't take... ugh.

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[kids humming playful music]

[clink]

Owen: What a save by Richard Swimmons!

[water rushes]

Harold: Chef!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: Yay!

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[car revs]

[glass breaks]

Duncan: Chef!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: Yay!

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[rocket blasts off]

[splat]

Owen: Chef!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: Yay!

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Gwen: [confessional] You know what's going on, right? Chef is bringing Richard Swimmons back from the dead. I wonder how...

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[dream sequence]

[Frankenstein-esque music]

[dramatic sting]

[fish gasps]

Chef: It's alive. It's alive! [echoes] It's alive!

[sequence over]

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Gwen: [confessional] Or all those fish are dead and he just replaces them with a new Richard. Yeah, probably that.

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Chef: Poor little guys.

Gwen: Chef?

Chef: Ah!

Gwen: Why don't you just tell them the truth?

Chef: Uh, Gwen! I was just... just... I have no idea what you're talking about.

Gwen: No? Then whatcha putting in the ground, Chef?

Chef: Just some... beans. G-Garbanzo beans! A part of the chickpea family. Heh.

Gwen: Just tell them the fish are dead.

Chef: Come on, girl, I ain't no child psychologist! How am I supposed to tell them something like that?!

Gwen: Fine. I'll tell them.

Chef: N-n-nono, wait! I mean... if you were going to tell them... how would you do it?

Gwen: Ugh! "The fish are dead because you keep killing them over and ov--"

Beth and Izzy: Chef! Chef!

Chef: Uh, what can I do for you, girls?

Izzy: It's Richard!

Beth: Hurry!

Gwen: They need to know. Are you going to tell them the truth this time?

Chef: Yes? Maybe? Ugh, I don't know!

Owen: Huh. I guess Richard isn't very good at double dutch.

Chef: [gulps] I-I'm sorry, children, but... Richard Swimmons is...

Gwen: Chef, you can do it.

Chef: [clears throat] What I'm trying to say is, you're fish is... [groans] [sighs] Come on, Chef. You got this.

Beth: Chef? Are you crying?

Chef: What? No! I was uh... cutting onions.

Owen: Can I have some onions?

Chef: No. Let's just stop talking. We don't need to talk about anything.

Gwen: [sighs] I'm just gonna spell it out for everyone. Richard is D--

Chef: D-E-lightfully fine! Ha ha! Ah...

Duncan: Richard is more than fine! He's awesome. That's why I gave him this tattoo. See? Hey, where'd it go? That was permanent ink.

Chef: [straining]

Beth: I'm getting the feeling that Chef's hiding something from us.

Gwen: You think?

Harold: Let's go ask him what's going on.

Chef: [sniffling] I'm pulling for you, new Richard Swimmons. May you be the one that makes it. Either way, those sweet innocent kids can never know that--

Owen: Chef?

Chef: [gasps]

Owen: Does this mean all the other Richards d-died?

Chef: Yes. They did. But don't feel bad. You kids didn't do anything wrong. You didn't mean--

Beth: That was really irresponsible of you!

Chef: W-Wha?

Harold: We thought Richard was invincible! If you'd said something, we could've saved the lives of dozens of fish!

Izzy: Yeah! How're we supposed to know that fish don't like soapy water or being launched into the air or getting boiled on a heater or being--

Chef: B-But I thought telling you would hurt y--

Owen: Bad Chef, bad!

Chef: Okay, you're right! I'm sorry!

Duncan: So, if all the other Richards bit it, what did you do with them?

Chef: Don't worry. I did right by those little heroes. And you can visit them whenever you--

Gwen: Chef, you better come see this.

[cats meowing]

[children scream]

Gwen: [confessional] None of these kids are gonna eat fish for a long time.

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[kids hum background music]

Chef: Gather round, children. After the recent string of incidents that happened to Richard Swimmons, I decided a new pet might be in order. Meet Rocky!

Owen: [gasps] He's adorable!

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: [cheer]

Chef: And the best part is, you can play with him however you want! He's super tough, up for anything, and no one will get hurt.

Beth, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, and Owen: [cheer]

[clink]

Chef: Whoa!

[glass breaks]

[pinging]

[glass breaks]

[cats meow]

Chef: Oh no!

Gwen: [confessional] Saw that coming all the way.

[kids hum ending music]

[credits]