User:Rainbowderp01/Ca-Noodling (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... things got spicy in Mexico. Devin picked a potent pepper to impress Carrie, but the pepper won. The Ice Dancers were headed for gold, until once again, MacArthur glutes got the job done. But the Ice Dancers did succeed in ousting those creepy Goths. Who'll disappear this week? Find out right now on... The Ridonculous Race.

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: Welcome back to Mexico, where the Cadets are first to depart from both the starting line and their dignities as they taunt the second place Ice Dancers.

Sanders: [giggles]

MacArthur: [aside] This one's for you. [grunting]

Sanders: [laughing]

MacArthur: [aside] Watch the glutes!

Sanders: [interview] From now on, we stay in the winner's circle by any means necessary.

MacArthur: [interview] Does this mean I can--

Sanders: [interview] No. You can not taser anyone.

MacArthur: [interview] Aw...

Josee: [interview] Second place. Again!

Jacques: [interview] But at least I got a team eliminated.

Josee: [interview] That's true. We did. It's like we won a gold medal in treachery!

[buzz, ding]

Sanders: "Travel to Cần Thơ, Vietnam."

Don: Cần Thơ is not only a great name for a movie villain, it's also the largest city in Vietnam's thriving Mekong Delta. Teams will find their next tip here, along the Mekong River, where the fish are plentiful, ugh, and pungent. Get that thing away from me!

[buzz, buzz, buzz, ding, buzz, ding]

Devin: Uh... eh, i-it says... uh, here. You read, I'll get us a cab. Taxi! Ow!

Carrie: Uh, wrong way!

Devin: I knew that! [aside] Turns out I'm violently allergic to hot peppers, especially when rubbed into my eyes, so yeah, my vision's kinda off. [hushed] But don't tell Carrie. I'm trying to impress her, you know? Lay the land for when I tell her I like like her. [real time] Taxi! Hurry, Carrie, there's no time to waste!

Stephanie: Wha?

Devin: Drive!

Ryan: Uh, wanna share a cab?

Carrie: Um, I guess so.

Stephanie: What's the big idea, Devin?

Devin: [gasps] What? Where's Carrie? Uh, she's not in the cab with him, is she?

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Brody: Vietnam? Come on!

Geoff: [interview] Yesterday, things got a little... messy.

Brody: [interview] Literally! We pooped on cactuses. [laughing]

Geoff: [interview] Ha, classic us.

Brody and Geoff: Boom.

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Stephanie: I have our tickets. Let's go.

Carrie: Oh, good, you got our tickets. Come on!

Devin: Ow!

Don: All six teams are aboard the same flight to Vietnam. When they land, it'll be a race to find taxis!

Devin: Go!

Stephanie: Come on!

Carrie: Come on!

All: Taxi!

Emma: Ugh! No more cabs!

Geoff: Check these out.

Brody and Geoff: Wicked! Ha.

Geoff: To the Cần Thơ River, little dude! All right!

Brody: Woohoo!

Kitty: Well, when in Vietnam.

[camera click]

Emma: No way this kid's fast enough. [interview] Now that my mind's fully off... Noah, or whatever his name was, I'm doubly focused on the race!

Kitty: [interview] I haven't decided if this is a good thing or not.

[pedals squeaking]

Emma: Put your back into it, Kit!

Kitty: [grunting]

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[tires squeal]

Josee: Bye-bye, see you at the finish line!

MacArthur: Yah! Nice try, ice nerds!

Jacques and Josee: [grunt]

[buzz, ding]

Sanders: Ha. It's a superteam challenge. "Three teams must go catfish noodling together?"

MacArthur: Supernoodle what now?

Don: Catfish noodling is a local fishing technique using fingers as bait for enormously gross catfish. Ugh! In this superteam challenge, teams must work in groups of three, and collectively noodle six catfish to recieve their next tip. Added bonus, if a superteam catches the Ridonculous Race branded catfish, they'll recieve a Zip-It Ticket, skip the next challenge and go straight to today's chill zone. The last team to arrive here may be headed home.

Josee: Looks like we'll be working... together.

MacArthur: [gasps]

Jacques: [interview] I can't stand fish! They're so slimy and wiggly.

Josee: [interview] Too bad! We need that branded fish to guarantee another gold! And I will do anything to get it. Even if it means...

MacArthur: [interview] Helping our sworn enemies? No. No no no no no no no.

Sanders: [interview] We don't really have a choice.

MacArthur: [interview] In that case...

Sanders: [interview] No tasers. Look, what was it you told me once? Sometimes you gotta dislocate your own shoulder to squeeze through a fence so you can slap a chihuahua with a citation for excessive noise.

MacArthur: [interview] I make a good point. Darn me! [real time] Yep. Guess it's you guys, us guys, and the next team that shows up.

Sanders: Come on! Let's get a boat!

[buzz, ding]

Carrie: [gasps] It's a superteam challenge! Hey, maybe we could work together!

Ryan: Yeah, it'd be nice to finally be a part of a team.

Devin: Carrie, I don't know if--

Carrie: Devin, look at his arms, he's basically a superhero.

Ryan: [grunting]

Carrie: I think--

MacArthur: Hey! We need another pair of butts over here!

Stephanie: That's us! Come on!

Devin: [sighs] [aside] What is wrong with me? I-I mean, besides my eyesight. The more I like Carrie, the more I mess up! I have to prove that I'm her hero. Then I'll tell her I love her, and everything will be great. It's foolproof.

[boat starts]

Stephanie: Buh... bye.

Ryan: Good luck.

Carrie: You too. Go ca-noodle those fish!

Stephanie: [aside] Every time Carrie talks to Ryan, it makes me so mad. What is wrong with me?

Sanders: [aside] Sort of sounds like you're jealous.

Stephanie: [aside] What? That's impossible. I hate him. I have to, we do so much better when we hate each other.

Sanders: [aside] Heh, you need help. Seriously.

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[pedals squeaking]

Kitty: Ugh!

Emma: Okay, that was further than I thought, but you did great, and we beat the Surfer Dudes here, so...

Geoff: Kitty, Emma! Over here!

Brody: Hey!

[buzz, ding]

Emma: It's fine. We'll pull out ahead during the challenge.

Brody: Dudes, we get to work together as a superteam. Ah!

Emma: Ugh, great. Who else is part of our super superteam?

Carrie: Over here, teammates!

Devin: Hurry!

[splash]

Emma: Well, let's hope the first superteam is really messing up.

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Josee: Jacques! Get in here and noodle up some fish already! For the love of gold! This is just fish! And take off those gloves!

Jacques: Never! [aside] I'll stick my bare hand in a glove full of bullet ants, but not in a fish's mouth. They're too cold and slimy. It's like giving grandma a foot rub. [shudders]

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Carrie: You know, Devin's been so sweet lately. If I didn't know any better, I'd think... [gasps] No. I know longer read into every little thing that he does.