User blog:DramaDot/The Obsta-Kill Kourse

The Obsta-Kill Kourse


'''Scott’s sad that TDAS is coming to an end soon. I’m not.'''

'''I’m posting this early because I won’t be able to post for a little while. '''

'''Greetings from Earth. I’m Dot and I’m here to review Episode 10 of the highly controversial TD season, Total Drama All-Stars. This episode is called The Obsta-Kill Kourse. Some people spell it Course, but I believe it’s actually Kourse with a K. Six campers remain on the island--Gwen, Mike, Zoey, Alejandro, Courtney, and Scott. Who will be eliminated? What weird adventures await? Let’s dive right in and find out!'''

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'''I thought Chef loved Chris. Well, makes sense that he would edit bad recap footage of him. Good recap. There’s a painting of Lake Wawanakwa in Chris’ Spa Hotel. I miss the lake. I haven’t seen it in two whole episodes. Doesn’t Chris KNOW who normally edits the recaps? Like, isn’t there an editor?'''

'''We’re in the loser cabin, where nobody except Courtney and Zoey exists. The two of them talk about the events of the past episode and how great a kisser Courtney is. Chris begs to differ, cough. I don’t know why being kissed by two different guys (Cameron and Scott) in a single day is something to be happy about. Just means tough choices. Well, now there’s only Scott left.'''

'''Mike taps on the window and talks to Zoey. Why’d he send for her? He didn’t have anything to say except “how are you doing”, and that didn’t have to be done in secret. Oh great, time for more trash in his head. '''

'''So after three-or-something days of walking, Mike and Chester are still nowhere. Suddenly Svetlana materializes. What is the point of butter-sculptures? They’re just going to melt. Are they for decoration or are they secretly sinister bomb weapon things? I miss Explosivo. That Russian accent…ewww, there’s ears in Mal’s brain. That’s a lot of ears. It also explains the large amount of brain-space.'''

'''Oh boy, now Alejandro’s being targeted. Didn’t Zoey already hear Mike frame Alejandro? Or did she just forget?'''

'''Courtney runs out of the cabin and trips on Scott’s head. Scott has been sitting a few feet away from Mike this whole time, which means that he overheard the whole thing and thus is a member of the Friendship Finale 2.0. Now.'''

'“Ow! What are you doing?!”'

'''Sitting there, chewing on mush, Courtney. OBVIOUSLY. '''

'“I’m sad, and when I’m sad, I eat dirt. You’ll never cheat on me, will you?”  '

'''Of course not, it’s dirt. It’s getting eaten. I must pause for a moment to admire Scott. That line is one of my favorite lines so far. It brought tears to my otherwise hard-boiled, desert-dry eyes. I’m not ashamed to admit that I frequently cry while watching TV shows (because I get the feels), but this is one of the few times when Total Drama has made me cry. The first relationship that Scott has ever experienced has backfired on him, big time, and now he’s feeling the pain from it. Beautiful. Poetic. Award-worthy. Okay, so maybe not the last one, but it sure was pretty. Scott is derailed x 10 this season, but this is the best kind of derailment I’ve experienced from this show. It’s a breath of emotional air after the yuckiness of Zoke’s FF 2.0. Scheming. Hope to see more scenes like this from Scott in the future. He’s funny even when he’s sad, but in an “awwww” kind of way. '''

'''Courtney forces Scott to get over the Camtney kiss and he does, with surprisingly little reluctance. Oh well, that’s Scott for you. Yeah, he’s also a farmer. Crucial information there.'''

'''The campers walk in the forest for the millionth time this season. Alejandro arrives from Boney Island and has to do pushups. GEE, I WONDER WHO’S GOING TO BE TORTURED THIS EPISODE AND THEN ELIMINATED! When is the time “going to be right” to show the Mal DVD, Alejandro? You never know when you’re going to be eliminated. It isn’t hard to just call Zoey over to the Spa Hotel and play her the DVD. Also, I thought that your name was Burromuerto, not Burrosmuertos. The continuity is painfully nonexistent in certain spots of this episode (1).'''

'''Chris tries to patent a lot of things. Aren’t those the tires used in TDPI, Episode 2? Future reference alert! Scott messes things up for the millionth time and Zoey jokes around with Gwen. WHY ARE YOU SO HOSTILE TOWARDS ALEJANDRO ALL OF A SUDDEN, GWEN. She just takes Zoey’s word and doesn’t even ask Al about it. Weren’t you two just flirting back in Evil Dread? See citation 1. '''

'''Mal threatens Alejandro, who, in a very dumb move, reveals his plans for the CD. This is just like Heather being dumbed down in Episode Six, except Mal isn’t Alejandro’s boyfriend. Heh. So Alejandro grabs Mal by the shirt and threatens him.'''



'''Somehow, Mal breaks Alejandro’s wrist. Chris doesn’t care, apparently. That is one puffy wound. You’re not symmetrical, Alejandro. Just look at your nose.'''

“What are you guys doing?” ​​​​​​​

'''Yes, Zoey, find out the truth! I command you!'''

“Oh, uh, Alejandro tripped and I was just helping him up!”

'''COME ON, ZOEY, GET A CLUE! I miss Total Drama Action. Can’t you tell that Mal is lying from, I don’t know, THE FACT THAT ALEJANDRO’S WRIST IS SWOLLEN AND BRUISED WHERE MAL TOUCHED IT AND THAT HIS EYES ARE WATERING WITH PAIN?! Why can’t Alejandro just add after Mal, “No, Mal broke my wrist! He’s evil, Zoey, and he’s trying to convince you to wrongly vote me off!”? '''

'''Mike and Zoey look into each other’s eyes longingly. Scott gets stuck in a hole. Alejandro is tortured. Gwen is confused by Alejandro’s statement of “Do not trust M-AAAGH”, since there is clearly more than one person whose name starts with M in the competition. '''

'''I’m glad that this challenge is a Basic Straining challenge. It would be better if Chef was running it, though. At least he’s wearing his Basic Straining army outfit. I’ve had enough of the Season Four challenges. There have been too many and it’s too soon to reprise them. Not enough nostalgia.'''

'''Mal eats the licorice and doesn’t get detained by Chref for breaking standard health codes. I wonder who’s gonna climb that rope next, HUH…'''

'''Zoey’s allergic to dog hair? Is that in her Trivia section? At least there’s some sort of development to her this season. Zoey and Gwen bonding, eyuck. Creepy, useless, and completely out of the blue.'''

'''Courtney’s acting kinda weird this episode. She just revealed to Gwen and Zoey that she kissed both Cameron and Scott. I thought this was common knowledge. Is Scott gonna get mad?'''

'''Why is Gwen upset that Courtney kissed Cameron? Does she have a crush on him? GWENAMERON, GROSS. CAN WE JUST FORGET THAT CAMERON PARTICIPATED THIS SEASON?? PLEASE??!'''

'''Scott is SHOCKED that Courtney kissed Cameron. Oh well, the puns. Alejandro is prevented from telling the farmboy (he’s a farmer, y’know) about Mal’s evilness. Why is he all, “Let me wait to tell the contestant that Mal is evil until Mal is nearby or the contestant is about to enter into a state of pain so severe that he/she is unable to listen to me and hear my warning!!”? I don’t know anything anymore. Commercial break time.'''

'''We’re back to the snapping bar section. How punny. Mal summons Evil Svetlana, who complains in Russian and torture-juggles Alejandro. However, Svetlana fights off Mal, who gets beaten up by turtles, haha! Yay for turtles! Alejandro is now in the lead. I still have traumatic memories of him walking on his hands.'''

'''Scott on Courtney’s shoulders made me hide in my closet whimpering happily. So did the vision of Mike’s brutally bitten face. '''

'“Come on! If Alejandro wins, we can’t vote him off!”''' ​''​​​​​​

'''Good thinking, Zoey. She’s a real strategist. “If the enemy wins, we’re all losers!”  '''

'''Alejandro is painful to watch in this episode because he’s just a pain magnet. That’s not how his character is designed. This is a poor writing choice and it isn’t really villainous on Mal’s part. Oh well.'''

'''Lol, poor Gwen. She’s so confused. Is it weird that I like Gwentney fights more than the Gwentney nice-fests? '''

“A wedge of what, cheese?”

'''Luv you, Scott. Alejandro and Courtney kissed? Now THAT’S an exclusive clip I’d like to see...hehehehehehehe…'''

'''I’ve never seen this part of the island. Where did all those leeches on Zoey go? Did she pick them off? MADRE MIA, we know you’re Spanish, Alejandro. My adrenaline levels were plummeting until Al jumped up. NOW things are heating up. I want Scott to win a challenge for once. Though he got rid of his pack; there's gonna be a penalty. '''

'“Excellent! I grew up ziplining chasms THREE TIMES this size!”'

'''Of course you did; you’re Alejandro Dead Donkeys, the magic kid! I’ve never seen this part of the island. Why isn’t Wawanakwa a protected nature reserve? It’s beautiful and there’s bears. <3'''

'''Mal with a ziplining helmet on is weird. So that’s what the backpacks are for. Poor Scott. Zoey has a moment of intelligence but is dumbed down and is forced to listen to Mal for the millionth time. BE UNIQUE, BE INDEPENDENT, THINK YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, BE YOU. '''

'''HANDSOME JERK, huh. I thought Mal didn’t like Alejandro, uuuuuuggh. '''

'''So Zoey hops on Mal’s back and the race for first begins! Eyuck. I’m tired of this episode. '''

“Awwwww, you sound like Cam!”

'HE DOES. '' IT’S DISGUSTING AND I HOPE HE NEVER SAYS ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. So Mal jumps on Alejandro’s back and demands to know the location of the DVD. Al won’t tell and so they both fall into the river. Why did the zipline not break when Mike and Zoey were on it, but EASILY break when Alejandro and Mal were on it? Either Alejandro’s really heavy or Zoey weighs eighty pounds. Probably the latter.'''

'''So Zoey wins immunity. Yay. I’m honestly not that upset, though I don’t think she fully deserved it. Alejandro deserved it after all the torture he went through this episde. Scott is left hanging by himself over a chasm but nobody cares.'''

'''And so, in a very rushed elimination ceremony, Alejandro is eliminated. I’ll miss you, buddy! It was kind of annoying. I mean, the writers have been putting Scott through the power washer of development and when they think “who should have a torture episode”, they think Alejandro?? Time for a corny Zoke moment accompanied by vandalized Gwent music! My computer thinks that Zoke is a typo of Joke. Okay, maybe I’m ragging on it too much. All-Stars was years ago. Most Zoke haters are hibernating now, lol. Though there was a lot of backlash for the few years after it.'''

'''Why does Alejandro have to hide his message about Mal behind a cryptic exclamation and a Justin line? He could just...y’know...tell Zoey “MIKE’S NOT HIMSELF, HE’S MAL AND HE’S EVIIIIL!!!!!!” before getting flushed, instead of rambling on and on about art. It would take just as much time. Once again, torture episode! Now poor Zoey’s brain is melting down her ears. On a different note, I actually watched the exclusive clip because it’s Alejandro. That was as cute as a 16 second fly-by clip could be. Aleheather back together!'''

'''So that’s it for Episode Ten! Stay tuned next for my review of Episode Eleven, Sundae Muddy Sundae! Oh, boy. You just KNOW that an episode named after a horrifying massacre is gonna be controversial, and once again, I’m right…'''