User:Rainbowderp01/Total Drama, Drama, Drama, Drama Island (Transcript)

Chris: Welcome back to Total Drama Island. It's been a long time since you last saw our campers slugging it out for the $100,000 grand prize. Since the competition came to a shocking and dramatic conclusion, our campers have had some time to snack on some real food -- no offense, Chef -- take a hot shower, get their stuff back, and even peruse their emails from home. There were losers.

[splash]

Chris: Okay. Lots of losers. [chuckles] But there was only one winner: Owen. The youngest of three brothers and a hardcore underachiever turned out to be the surprise champ. Without much knowledge, ambition, fitness, or even charm, he ended up with one massive prize. He's planning a wicked tropical party for all his fellow campers this winter. But first, they're gonna move their booties for one final poolside rap party, and tomorrow, everybody's heading for home. Or are they?

[ding]

Chris: Find out here on Total. Drama. Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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[party music]

Owen: Woohoo! Hahaha. Awesome party, dudes!

[frisbee whirs]

Cody: All right! No more challenges or alliances! We can finally just hang! [splash]

Katie and Sadie: [giggling]

Justin: As soon as I get home, I'm signing up with three modeling agencies. One for my face, one for my body, and uh, one for my knees.

[cameras snapping]

Sadie: You do have great knees.

Katie and Sadie: [sigh happily]

Katie: [confessional] It's so great to be able to just chill out and not worry about competing for once.

Sadie: [confessional] Seriously. It gives us more time to admire Justin without distractions!

Katie and Sadie: [confessional] So yummy!

Chef: [sniffs] Ahh...

Owen: [chewing]

Izzy: Ninety-five! [gulps, burping loudly]

Owen: Ooh! Woohoo! That was awesome! You are a marshmallow goddess!

Eva: [stomach rumbles]

Izzy: Thirty-seven's not bad, Eva. Besides, with a little practice, you'll be burping like [burps loudly]

Owen: [gasps] I think I'm in love with you.

[kissing]

Izzy: [stomach rumbles] [vomits] Ew. That was gross. Okay, ha, who wants some hot dogs?!

Owen: [confessional] How can you not love a woman who can barf like a guy and come back for more?

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Harold: Hi, Leshawna. [grunting]

Leshawna: Hey there, sugar baby. Mm-mm. You got game, baby. You been working out?

Harold: You noticed. These are for you.

Leshawna: Listen, Harold. I gotta talk to you about all that. See, you and me?

Harold: Uh-huh?

Leshawna: On the dock... I just got all... emotional back there. You know, with the elimination and all and... I think we moved way too fast.

Harold: Oh. Okay. So can I still talk to you and stuff?

Leshawna: Hmph. Harold, you are the funkiest, baddest, strangest white boy I have ever met. You and me are like this.

Harold: All right! So you wanna go behind the bushes and make out?

Leshawna: Did you not hear one word I said? Look, I gotta go.

Harold: I'll win you over, Leshawna! I love you! [confessional] Yeah, Leshawna and I are pretty tight. I'm sure we'll hook up after the show's over. Maybe move in together when we're like, thirty. I'd have to ask my mom first, but I'm sure it'd be all right. Maybe she'd let us have the basement. [sip] That'd be cool.

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Gwen: I think the best thing about playing this stupid game was meeting the two of you.

Trent: I feel the same way.

Leshawna: No doubt.

Gwen: I can't wait for you to meet my buds back home. This is Marilyn, Pixiecorpse, and Reaper.

Tyler: Rockin' the frisbee, baby! [grunts]

[splash]

Lindsay: Aww, look! Maggie, Bree, and Heidi are planning a giant welcome home party for me!

Beth: Lucky!

Lindsay: And [squeals] Dusty will be there!

Tyler: [flailing]

Beth and Lindsay: [squeal]

[rip]

[splash]

[heroic music]

Harold: And that's why beavers shouldn't be considered members of the vermin family. Their skeletal structures are like, totally different from rats.

Noah: Pew.

Harold: I mean, just look at their teeth.

Noah: [choking sounds]

Harold: I can loan you my journal where I've made a bunch of drawings of beavers and rats if you promise not to get food on it and stuff.

Noah: No thanks. I'm good.

Bridgette: Mm... [chuckling]

[kissing]

Bridgette: Heheh.

[bubbling]

Geoff: Ow!

Bridgette: Oh, sorry!

[kissing]

Courtney: Ew. Duncan, stop it.

Duncan: Why so uptight, hot stuff? What happened to that crazy chick who helped me raid the camp kitchen?

Courtney: [scoffs] I'm over this stupid show. I lost the competition, my pathetic lawyer lost my lawsuit, and now I just wanna go home, study for my LSATs, and work my class president campaign.

Duncan: Wow. Hello, downer. Come on, relax. It's almost over. I thought you'd be happy.

Courtney: I am happy!

Leshawna, Gwen, and Trent: [chuckling]

Trent: Oh, brutal!

Leshawna: Yeah? I did that.

Heather: What's so funny?

Leshawna: [confessional] Okay, you know you'd've done the same thing if you were me. After all that girl did to the rest of us over the last eight weeks, she's lucky I didn't tattoo it on her head.

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[dramatic music plays over loudspeaker]

Chris: [grunts] Hello, campers!

Duncan: Ha, that's ex-campers to you.

Heather: Yeah. Your twisted game is over. Remember?

Chris: [quietly to Chef] We'll see about that.

Chris and Chef: [chuckle]

Chris: Congratulations to our winner. Owen, you played hard, fought hard, ate hard, and farted harder!

[fart in flashback]

Chris: Not sure why, but you beat every other person on this island, and your pockets will soon be stuffed with cheddar!

[cheering]

Owen: Mm, cheddar.

Chris: But what I'm about to offer you may change all that. Inside this suitcase is One. Million. Dollars! We had our PAs make a cardboard check of this awesome new prize.

[check dragging]

Chris: [yelling] We went through a lot of cardboard to make this! [normal] Owen, my man. This million dollars could be yours. All you have to do is figure out where we're about to hide it and bring it to the Dock of Shame before anyone else does.

Gwen: You're telling us that we all have a chance to win a million dollars?

Chris: Yep. What do you say, Owen? Will you settle for a hundred G's or one. Million. Dollars?!

Owen: Game on, baby! [laughs]

[rip]

Chris: That's the spirit, Owen. Throughout the day, I'll give you all hints from the loudspeakers just to make sure you're not completely lost.

Courtney: [confessional] Okay. This just got interesting again.

Chris: All right, campers. The ultimate million dollar starts... now!

[cork shoots]