User:Rainbowderp01/Wawanakwa Gone Wild! (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island... An escaped psycho killer terrorized our campers with his meat-mangling hook and his mega murderous chainsaw. There was a large amount of screaming, especially considering the whole thing was really just an elaborate punk. Ooh, ooh, ooh! I love this part! Duncan was the only one to psych out the psycho! But ultimate victory went to Gwen, who somehow ended up in the kitchen with an actual psycho, which left DJ the chicken-heart to float the Loser Boat home. Only seven campers remain. Who will win? Who will lose? Ow! Who will need a rabies shot thanks to this ungrateful little-- Find out on this episode of... Total. Drama. Island!

________________________________________________________________________________

[ Theme song ]

________________________________________________________________________________

Owen: Wild flowers for a wild and crazy gal?

Izzy: Oh, yeah? As in the kind you abandon and leave for dead in the hands of a chainsaw-wielding psycho killer with a hook?

Owen: Me? Abandon you? Never! Never ever!

[creak]

Gwen: Wasn't there just a three hundred pound bag of joy talking to you?

Owen: I'm only 296. Someone set a trap. Or two.

Chris: Good morning, campers! Or should I say... trappers? Ready for today's challenge? Excellent. Then let's chat about it over chow. Shall we?

Owen: He's coming back to untrap us, right? Ah! Oof!

[creak]

Gwen: [sighs]

Owen: Good aim.

________________________________________________________________________________

Owen: Mm! [chewing]

Gwen: [grunting] Paste?

Chris: Campers, there are only seven of you left on Total Drama Island. After tonight's dramatic bonfire ceremony, only six of you will remain. We're nearing the end people, so look alive!

Duncan: [confessional] What are my chances of winning? I'd say they're pretty darn great because anyone who doesn't vote for me is a dead man. Are you listening out there, all of you who have been kicked off? If you don't vote for me, I'll find you!

Geoff: [confessional] I am so stoked! The final seven, and I'm going all the way, dudes! Woohoo! I think I got a good shot at winning. Heck, I won student council president two years running, and I didn't even give a speech! I can do this, man. Woohoo!

Chris: Today's challenge involves making like our province's great rangers and game wardens. You'll each have eight hours to trap an animal.

Duncan: Got one!

Chris: A wild animal. Which you must bring back to the campfire. Unharmed.

________________________________________________________________________________

Chris: Rangers and game wardens often have to relocate animals for their own good and the good of campers.

[seesaw creaking]

Girl: Ow! Get off!

________________________________________________________________________________

Gwen: For my good, I might have to barbecue my animal. I'm starving to death!

Leshawna and Geoff: [grunt]

Chris: Funny you should mention that, Gwen. Reward for winning today's challenge is a meal of all of your favorite foods!

Heather: I am so winning.

Owen: So you're not gonna eat that? [confessional] I can't believe I'm in the final seven! Can you imagine me, winning?! [laughs] That would be awesome! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Everyone else here totally deserves it more than I do, though. Except Heather. She's really mean. I'm not afraid of her though.

Heather: [from outside the confessional] Owen!

Owen: [confessional] [screams]

Heather: [from outside] Are you almost finished in there?!

Owen: [confessional] Just about done...

________________________________________________________________________________

[bird calls]

________________________________________________________________________________

Chris: Everyone, choose an animal assignment!

Owen: Chipmunk.

________________________________________________________________________________

Leshawna: Frog.

________________________________________________________________________________

Duncan: Raccoon.

________________________________________________________________________________

Gwen: Duck?

________________________________________________________________________________

Geoff: Beaver.

________________________________________________________________________________

Izzy: Deer, yes! Baggin' a doe!

________________________________________________________________________________

Heather: Bear?! [scoffs] Are you kidding me?!

Chris: It's the only animal left.

Heather: These degenerates get cute little froggy and wee baby ducky and I'm supposed to trap a bear with my bare hands?!

Chris: You do get sixty seconds in the boathouse to gather any equipment that might help.

Heather: Unless there's an animal trainer and a zebra carcass in there, I don't think it'll be adequate. This is ridiculous!

Chris: I don't think I've mentioned the penalty yet.

Heather: I don't care. I'll take it.

Chris: Loser cleans the communal washrooms.

[dramatic sting]

________________________________________________________________________________

[flies buzzing]

[bubble pops]

________________________________________________________________________________

Duncan, Izzy, Geoff, Leshawna, and Gwen: [gasp]

Owen: Sorry. [laughs] I think I ate too much of that delicious paste. [farts]

Chris: All right, campers. You have just one minute in the boathouse to grab your critter catching gear.

________________________________________________________________________________

Gwen: Uh, you're gonna trap a raccoon with a sledgehammer?

Heather: You may wanna rethink that.

Duncan: Ah, thanks for the tip.

Heather: [grunts]

Gwen: Ah!

Heather: Ow!

Owen: I've got paper towels! Yeah! Whoo! A burlap sack? You should patent that!

Chris: Ten seconds remaining!

Izzy: [laughs] Excuse me, pardon, coming through!

Duncan: Is that legal? Can she just-- [grunts]

Gwen: [grunts] Duck bait? Yeah, that'll work.

Heather: {screams] [grunts] I think there's still fish in here.

Gwen: The net's all yours. And P.S. It'll never hold a bear.

Heather: [grunts]

Gwen: [confessional] I don't know. I guess I have a chance. Let's put it this way. If I didn't think I could win, do you really think I would be in this dump? Putting up with the revolting food, giant bugs, and cameras in your face all day is one thing. But Heather? Only a hundred thousand dollars could make me live with her.

Heather: [confessional] I assume I'm the favorite to win. I mean, look who's left. Weird goth girl, a criminal, a fart machine, a party dude, a psycho hose beast, and Leshawna. And the only thing she has going for her is that she hasn't made any enemies. Woop-de-doo! We're not here to make friends. We're here to win.

[snap]

Heather: [confessional] And that is exactly what I plan on doing.

Izzy: 'Kay, bobbin' thingies, old sandwich, stick, big nasty hook... Score! Tranquilizer gun! Guys, look!

Heather: Could you please aim the other way?

Chris: Everybody ready?

All but Heather: Yes!

Heather: No!

Chris: Game on!

Duncan: [confessional] See, now Heather, she was my competition. And as much as it made me wanna hurl, I knew I had to get on her good side. [real time] You can borrow my chainsaw after I'm done.

Heather: Great! The bear can use it to skin me alive after he's finished mauling me! Thanks!

Duncan: Well, I did pick something up that might help you.

Heather: Why would you wanna help me?

Duncan: Because if you team up with me, I'll take you to the final two.

Heather: Not interested.

Duncan: Suit yourself.

Heather: I usually do.

Duncan: She'll be back. Just wait.

________________________________________________________________________________