User:Rainbowderp01/Truth or Laser Shark (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island... thirteen new competitors were blown away by this year's challenges. They were treated to an early morning swim, said hello to the island's wildlife, and did some totem surfing. Explosive! In the end, Staci's team got so sick of her nonstop tall tales, that they sent her packing, Hurl of Shame style. Who'll go home next? And how much pain can I put them through first? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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[birds chirping]

Dawn: Really? Oh no!

Dakota: Will you keep it down? If I don't get my beauty sleep, I'll lose it!

Dawn: Yes. Because your need for fame is really a depressed cry for love.

Dakota: Who told you that? My therapist?

Dawn: I see people's auras. And it looks like someone threw up on yours.

Dakota: Oh, go eat a worm!

Dawn: Uh... no thanks.

Lightning, B, and Sam: [snoring]

Sam: [muttering] Huh?

Scott: [panting]

Sam: Hey, man. What's with all the dirt?

Scott: Oh, uh... just had an early morning make out session with one of the honeys.

Lightning: Sha-dig? Which one?

Scott: Um...

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Scott: [screams]

[boar roars]

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Scott: A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

Sam: You kissed a gentleman?

Scott: [confessional] All right. I was out looking for that hidden immunity idol, not that they need to know. It's all part of my strategy. Let my team lose so the Maggots develop a false sense of security before I pick 'em off!

[knock]

Scott: [confessional] Occupied! [screams]

[boar roars]

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[blow dryer blowing]

Zoey: Hey! How'd you sneak that in?

Anne Maria: Easy! I stuck it in my pouf!

[hair spray spraying]

Zoey: [coughs]

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Mike: [snoring] [deep inhale] [as Chester] These young whippersnappers with all their yammering and tomfoolery. [deep inhale] [as himself] Aw, c'mon, Chester, keep it down. [deep inhale] [as Chester] Fine. For now. [as himself] [yawns]

Cameron: [confessional] I had a hard time falling asleep. It was my first night outside my bubble. But finally, I recreated it with my sleeping bag, and I was out like that! What an adventure.

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Brick: [panting] [confessional] As the only soldier here with any military training, I've definitely got a winning edge. My biggest competition is probably Jo. Yeah, good thing we're on the same team! Like my drill sergeant always says, "Keep your enemies close, and your rivals closer!" W-Wait, I did that wrong. "Keep your family close and your enemy at arm's length." Uh, no, n-no, hold on. [real time] [panting]

Brick and Jo: Ow!

[squirrel laughs]

Jo: Oh, just did my morning 5K run, you?

Brick: 8K.

Jo: I mean I did an 8K warm up, then 5K at a full sprint.

Brick: My entire run was uphill.

Jo: Yeah, uphill with my eyes shut!

Brick: I ran backwards with earplugs!

Jo: Why earplugs?

Brick: I dunno!

Jo: Team Maggot is lucky to have us. We won the challenge yesterday. We'll carry them all the way to victory! [confessional] I'll carry them to victory. Just being nice so that aptly named clump of cadet meat will be loyal. But when the time comes... [snap] Ow! Splinter! You little...

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[horn honks over loudspeaker]

Chris: Up and at 'em, my little morning glories! It's time for today's challenge!

Lightning: What?! But Lightning hasn't had his DPA!

Sam: Huh?

Lightning: Daily protein allotment? Duh!

Dakota: And I haven't had enough beauty sleep.

Sam: C'mon, you look-- great sons of Orion!

Chris: You can catch up on your sleep after the challenge. Right this way to the Bay of Dismay.

All: Aw...

Dakota: [on phone] Hey, it's me. We're going to some bay a-- hey!

[video game music]

Chris: Contraband! Now it's mine! Confiscator's keepers! Come on! Your humiliation awaits!

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Zoey: Bay of Dismay? Yikes. Sounds like one of those fight locations in Total Warriors 2.

Mike: You like action movies? If you're into ultimate kickboxing, I might have to marry you.

Sam: Hey, Dakota. Sorry about before. I was just so taken by your beautiful... nostrils. [confessional] Nostrils? Nostrils?!

Dakota: Thanks! I like your... uh... can I get back to you on that?

Sam: [sighs]

Cameron: I hope this isn't another physical challenge. I'd prefer something a little more... academic.

Jo: I bet you do, toothpick. I'm surprised your scrawny neck can even support that giant head.

Cameron: My greatest strengths are mental.

Jo: Well, you're mental if you think you can win Total Drama without getting physical. Just stay out of my way.

Anne Maria: So what do you think the challenge is gonna be? You don't talk much, do ya?

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Chris: Welcome to the "Getting to Know You" trivia game challenge. Everyone strapped in all nice and snug?

Scott: [grunts] Too snug. It's cutting into my shoulders.

Chris: Yeah. Children-sizes harnesses will do that. [chuckles] I'll be asking our players embarrassing personal questions, and I mean majorly humiliating. If the player I'm talking about gets the poorly wired buzzer and owns their humiliation before the time runs out, their team gets a point. First team to five wins part one and a distinct advantage in part two. But if no one owns up, this happens.

[beep]

Cameron: [screams]

Mutant Maggots: [scream]

Mike: [pants] There's some kind of two-legged shark monster down there!

Chris: You mean Fang?