User blog:Pierzina/Total Drama Express - Episode 2: Three's A Crowd

cast:

Avon - The Faithless Brooklyn - The Drama Queen Caitlin - The Mastermind Chloe - The Coward Cole - The Golden Boy Dan - The Gamer Nerd Diamond - The Dependant Finn - The Gamemaster Ian - The Optimist Keith - The Hard Worker Kyla - The Activist Kyle - The Contrarian Lillie - The Quirky Gal Lisa - The Actress Mikey - The Skater Dude Riley - The Hottie Vanessa - The Banjie Kid Waylon - The Vocalist

[the train chugs through, daytime]

(Team Fluid is enjoying breakfast in the nice compartment)

Kyla: This is the life and it's all thanks to me! *smiles as she stuffs her face with oatmeal*

Kyle: I'm pretty sure it was a TEAM effort. *glances at the other teammates, looking generally unnappealing* Well..

Kyla: Stop with your constant entitlement. My team is supposed to be DIVERSE and COHESIVE and your white male tears are spoiling the fruit.

Kyle: Oh really? I'm the entitled one?

Kyla: That's what I said, didn't I?

Dan: You guys should really stop arguing...

Both Kyla & Kyle: Shut up, nerd!

Dan: *ducks down uneasily*

Caitlin: *eating raw sausage links* [CONF: Let them fight as much as they want. In the grand scheme of things, it works better for me. Once I get rid of all the expendables, as in, the people I can't manipulate to correlate into my master plan to win the million and begin stage 1 of the crowning process, they'll be on their knees.

Chloe: H-hey, a-aren't you going to g-get salmonella or something?

Caitlin: Pfft no. It's just going to make my stomach stronger when I begin the impending apocalypse.

Chloe: D-doesn't that mean l-like, m-mass murder?!

Ian: Caitlin's always got interesting stories to tell!

Lillie: *to Chloe* Hmm, I'm preetty sure she's joking. *to Caitlin* You're joking, right? :) [CONF: I don't like that Caitlin girl. She's just super uneasy and last night when I was on my way to the bathroom I heard her rehearsing some weird gypsy stuff...]

[flashback]

Lillie: *walking in her pajamas until her ears perk up* Huh? Do I hear something? *slips open bathroom door a tad*

Caitlin: *in the bathroom with a crown on her head* Miss Vanjie. MISS VANJIE. Miss... Vanjie. Miss Vanjie. Bye, girl. Bye, sister.

Lillie: *loud theatrical gasp*

[cut flashback]

Lillie: [CONF: I don't know what it meant... but it sounded despicable.]

(Waylon and Vanessa are off in the kitchen)

Waylon: *eating scrambled eggs*

Vanessa: *eating them faster* Hmph, is that all you got singer boy?

Waylon: *eating with his mouth open* ...Huh? You don't have to make everything a competition.

Vanessa: Yeah, you're probably right. It's not like you'd be any real competition anyway! *crosses arms arrogantly*

Waylon: *glares* I know what you're trying to do and I'm not going to fall for it.

Vanessa: Really? 'Cause I think you already have.

Waylon: *growls* [CONF: That girl does nothing but stir up drama with her dumb games. How am I supposed to cash in an easy check with this lunatic running around? She's got to go as soon as possible.

Vanessa: *blows raspberry and jumps onto the handle of a counter and does a pullup*

[Team Phat are now seen worn out, obviously with a lack of sleep]

Keith: These living conditions suck.

Riley: Ugh, I think I broke a nail. *puts out hand*

Brooklyn: *falls over, revealing that she was sleeping ontop of Diamond the whole time*

Diamond: I think I broke my... everything.

Lisa: Diamond are you ok?! Why didn't you say something?

Diamond: I didn't want to y'know... cause a ruckus or anything...

Brooklyn: Pfft, too late for that.

Avon: *rolls eyes and goes back to drawing in his book*

Cole: Ugh. This has to change. [CONF: Back at home, whenever the team was in a funk we'd just go out for some pizza and it'd all be better, so I'm going to have to round up the troops and get some wins in the bag! ...Somehow.]

Brooklyn: We're toast. We should just give up now... save the effort. *pulls sheets over her head*

Finn: That won't do anything.

Cole: C'mon guys. Don't you wanna win? I know we aren't the most, uh, cohesive team, but we got potential and if we put all our effort in it, we can do something with it! Like win! Or... yeah. Um. Please just say y'all won't just give up this easily?

Brooklyn: Nope. I've decided it. Time to sleep.

Cole: *sighs*

Avon: As much as I hate to contribute to meaningless conversations, nothing is going to change if we don't somewhat try to participate. And I don't know about you guys, but I'd rather not bunk in loserville. '''

Cole: Y-yeah! Listen to him. [CONF: That was weird. Avon doesn't usually talk much. Guess my speech must've spoken to him!

Avon: [CONF: I don't really care about winning or not I'm just tired of hearing my teammates whine non-stop.]

Diamond: Well, I for one-

Riley: *pushes through Diamond and Avon to caress Cole's arms* I am so with you. It's so important that we, as a team, pull together as one to DOMINATE. I bet you're used to that aren't you? *giggles as she pulls Cole in tighter* [CONF: Pfft, duh I'm flirting hardcore with Cole. He's the only guy here semi-worth my time. I don't legitimately like him, he's a doofus, however I can use that in my favor. I ALWAYS get what I want. *crosses arms and applies blush* Hm.]

Cole: Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks Riley! I'm glad you're excited about progressing the team. *smiles*

Riley: No problem~, I'll ALWAYS be there to lead the team with you, y'know?

Keith: *raises eyebrow*

Avon: *frowns*

Finn: So, we're all in agreeance? Try our hardest in the challenge next time?

Brooklyn: Ugh, you guys are so dramatic but sure, whatever.

Diamond: *nods reluctantly*

Avon: My stance is already known.

Keith: Yup.

RIley: Totes.

Cole: Let's do this!

Lisa: what ever straight people are boreing.

[the screen zooms into Chris and Chef driving the train]

Chris: *to Chef* Okay, we're gonna stop here.

Chef: Uh... I sort of don't know how to stop the train.

Chris: What?! HOW?

Chef: Since when did I learn to conduct a train?

Chris: *shrugs* Guess we'll have to press the emergency stop.

Chef: Are you kiddin-

Chris: *yanks the emergency stop button*

[the train starts flashing red and things begin to fly]

Vanessa: Seriously? Again? This is getting pretty unoriginal. *folds arms*

Chloe: *hyperventilating*

Lillie: Calm down, Chloe! It's going to be alright. This already happened befor-

Brooklyn: *runs into the first compartment and starts screaming* AHHHHHHHH WE'RE DYING! WE'RE DEAD! OVER. DONE. ELIMINATED. CANCELLED. NOOOOO. WHY LORD. WHyyYYyYYYYAAHHHHHH! *breaks out into hysteric sobs*

Chloe: Ghsfggifoubgig- *faints*

Lillie: Ugh. *facepalm* [CONF: This whole "be Chloe's personal lackey so that she stops freaking out over everything" gig is highkey WEARING on my nerves.]

Waylon: We're going to be okay, everyone. Just remain calm.

Brooklyn: Y'ALL HEARD WHAT HE SAID. WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE OKAY! DON'T REMAIN CALM!!

Riley: You are so annoying.

[the plane reaches an absolute halt, the screen zooms out revealing they are hoisted in the air]

Chris: *pushes the door open* Welcome to our FIRST destination! Yosemite National Park! This is where your next challenge will be. But first, you guys gotta get down there. *points down to a river*

Keith: *looks out of the door* Chris... we're like 500 feet in the air. There's no way we can get down there.

Chris: Oh yeah. *laughs* Have fun with that! *flies off with his jetpack*

Chef: CHRIS! What about me?! *runs after him, before free falling all the way down out of the train*

Finn: Uh, guys. I'm pretty sure he wants us to jump off. But I think I can formulate a plan that ensur-

Caitlin: *shrugs* Let's go, Ian!

Ian: OK, sounds good to m- AHHH! *Caitlin jumps out while grabbing Ian*

Lisa: This is way too big of a drop to be jumping. We'll-

Brooklyn: DIE. We'll all DIE.

Lisa: I mean... yeah. But there has to be some sort of loophole.

Diamond: I must agree wi-

Brooklyn: I'm NOT jumping. Nope. No. Nah. Nee. Jo. Aye. Iaa. Votch. Non. Nun. Ez. Na. Ne. Nann. M hai. Ai. Nej. Ei. Ara. Nein. O'hi. Naa. 'A'ole. Io. Nahi. Nem. Nei. Tidak. Ni'hea, ni-

Avon: We get it.

Finn: I have an idea, let's use the train cushions so that the fall isn't as... treacherous.

Vanessa: *rips out cushion* Whatever, you guys are going down. *smiles and jumps out*

Cole: We can't let them get a lead, we just got to go...

Riley: If you say so, hunky. *jumps straight out*

Cole: Uhh. She knows she could've taken a cushion with her right?

Riley: *screaming* [CONF: Well, not my proudest flirting moment.]

[one by the one they all begin to jump out holding onto a cushion]

Brooklyn: *screaming*

Lillie: *struggling to carry Chloe and also a cushion* Ugh... well... *lets go of Chloe* [CONF: Okay, come ON people. It's not that bad... she was SLEEPING! Was I supposed to carry her and a cushion? ...]

Kyla: Are we seriously falling into Yosemite National Park? How am I supposed to know if they're problematic yet?! [CONF: I always research things before I visit them. If I find out that they're messy, Chris is getting the BEAT DOWN. *slams fist into palm* Not literally. I don't fight. I mean figuratively.

Kyle: This is so stupid, I can't believe that we're forced into this!

Dan: ...I can. He's been forcing us into things since-

Everyone: Shut up, Dan!

[they all splash into the water]

Vanessa: About time you guys got here. You guys took forever!

[both teams get well adjusted and swim to the side onto a beach]

Chris: Nice to see you guys drop in. *laughs* Get it? Cause you guys fell like 500 feet in the air?

Riley: Not funny, Chris.

Kyle: Really? Cause I thought it was JUST amazing! >.>

Kyla: Well then, you're really messed up. There's nothing "amazing" about falling from the sky. Sheesh. You're so insensitive to others' feelings.

Chris: Enough with the chitter chatter. It's time to get to your second challenge, we stand before 2 paths. 1 is a hiking trail, the other leads to a rock climbing area. The other area you will also need to cover is the river, which, you guys just came through. Basically, each of the landmarks has a special task that your team will have to complete to earn tickets. Each landmark has 3 tickets to board the next train, so don't screw it up!

Finn: So what happens if we don't get all the tickets?

Chris: *laughs and shrugs* Guess you won't be boarding! Anyway, good luck. Now I have t-

Chef: *rises from the water, fuming* CHRIIIIIS!

Chris: G-get going! *runs off*

Vanessa: You heard the man! Let's get going!

Kyla: What are you doing? We need to decide who goes where an-

Vanessa: *grabs Waylon and Dan and runs to the hiking trail*

Caitlin: *runs with a unconscious Chloe in her arms into the rock climbing trail*

Lillie: Wait, come back! *follows after*

Ian: Oh, I guess it's US three then! *gets inbetween Kyla and Kyle* Won't this be FUN?! :D

Kyle: No.

Kyla: Stop touching me.

[Team Phat lines up]

Finn: Okay, so, I'm thinking we'll do Brooklyn, Lisa, and I on hiking, Cole, Keith and-

Riley: ME. Me. Me, me, me. Me. meMEmememEmmeMemEmEMMEmE!

Cole: I think Riley wants to be in our group.

Finn: ...Okay. Well then you guys will be on rock climbing, Avon and Diamond will be on river duty! Are we all in agreement? [CONF: I felt the need to really step up and prove my worth to the team. It's not easy but it's definitely not as hard as losing another member.

Diamond: I don't mean to interrupt, but what happens when we're finished?

Cole: We'll meet back here with all the tickets.

Finn: *nods* Okay, now let's go!

[they all split up]

[hiking trail]

Dan: I don't mean to be a downer but uhhhhh, why did you bring us here?

Vanessa: For the challenge! Duh. I chose you both cause I see some potential in you... rarely.

Waylon: Well gee, you're so kind. -_-

Dan: You said it! That's the nicest thing someone's said to me all season.

Vanessa: Your welcome! It's probably because everyone else detestes you.

Dan: :(

Vanessa: :(

Waylon: Can we hurry up with the challenge? Look. *points to sign with directions* This says that we need to look through this forest to-

Lisa: -find your team key, that is hidden in a distinct, seperate, place from the other and then unlock your team's ticket box.

(the screen shifts to two boxs hanging on from a post, one red and one blue representing the two teams)

Vanessa: Hey! How'd you guys get here?

Brooklyn: Um, by walking. Obviously! *knocks the dirt out of her wedges*

Vanessa: You guys probably got here by following us.

Brooklyn: And what about it? If you're asking for a hoedown, I'm the biggest h*e around!

Finn: I don't think that means what you think it does.

Waylon: Can we just focus on getting the actual key?

Lisa: For real.

Brooklyn: Not until I show this big boaster what's UP! *growls*

Vanessa: Ready for round 2 already, huh?

Finn: *facepalms*

Waylon: *sighs* She's always like this.

[the screen shifts to the rock climbing area, with Cole, Riley, Keith, Caitlin, Lillie, and Chloe]

Keith: I believe this is it.

Cole: Ahw dude, this is gonna be a blast. I've always loved doing outdoor stuff! WHOO! *runs in excitement and hits a post*

Keith: Whoa bro are you okay? *helping Cole up*

Riley: *steps on both of them and reads the post* It says we're supposed to climb up this thing to get the key to unlock the box. Nice move Cole <3 you're really such a team player!

Cole: Ahw, shucks. You're a sweetheart. *smiles*

Riley: No problem I-

Keith: *screen moves out revealing Cole is talking to him* All good bud. Now let's get moving.

Riley: Grrrrr. *walks down to put on her harness before being hit by an unidentifiable object* OW!

(a currently unconscious Chloe is revealed to be the thing that hit her)

Riley: What gives?! MY HAIR!

(the screen focuses on Caitlin and Lillie, already nearing to the top)

Caitlin: Great, you dropped her again!

Lillie: I didn't. You've been carrying her this whole time... *pulls up to a higher rock* I'm not going down again, so good luck with that.

Caitlin: Oh really? You don't want to listen, do you? *smiles*

Lillie: Since when were you boss? [CONF: I don't understand why she thinks I owe her something. She's just so naggy and weird. I'm not a catty girl by any means but she so creases me.]

Riley: You guys, we need to start going up there.

Cole: *nods* Good idea. I'll start getting the harnesses set.

Caitlin: You're right. I'll handle it. *lets go of the rock and harness, going down with a thud*

Riley: *gets hit by Caitlin* OW! [CONF: I'm tired of this whole pain magnet gig. I mean, hello? I'm the hot one. Why isn't everyone doing whatever I say? I'm going to have to switch up tactics a little bit here.

[the screen swaps to the water segment of the challenge]

Kyla: Okay, the directions read that we need to-

Kyle: We already KNOW slowpoke. You have repeated them over and over.

Kyla: Did you just call me slowpoke? That's an ABLEIST SLUR.

Ian: Soooo uhhhh I don't mean to be a bother but shouldn't we start on the challenge? Diamond and Avon are already up to it! Not that I have any will toward them, I mean, we're all competing for the prize. But we need to be focused too! [CONF: I go by the motto of "nice guys finish first", so I focus on being optimistic 24/7! *smiles wider than usual* Always smile, NEVER fear, cause it'll alllll work out in the end! Ooh, that'd be a good superhero slogan. I'm gonna write that down!

Kyla: Fine. Get your skis on, boys! :) Just so you know, I'm a veteran at jet skiing so I'm sort of a pro. Hope you can keep up, cause I know getting beat by a GIRL will hurt your egos! *starts it up*

Ian: No not reAHHH-

(the camera inches over to Avon and Diamond)

Diamond: This is going to be sort of exciting. Uh, right? I've never done something like this before... unless you have.

Avon: Calm down, you're water skiing while I drive. It'll be fine.

Diamond: Okay, if you say so! Uh. How do you water ski...?

Avon: You don't know anything sports related, do you?

Diamond: Wanna hear a secret? *whispers to him* I don't really know much about anything... at all! *nods* [CONF: Ever since I was a little girl, I was born in a big family. So I sort of just stayed back instead of be super out there... so I never really learned to let free and have fun. But I've always sort of wanted to- or do I? Ugh! Personal dilemmas are infuriating! But anyway, yeah. I'll let the others do the talking.]

Avon: ...Shocker. [CONF: Sometimes I think "hey, maybe you could make some friends" but then I remember that no one within a 100 mile radius has a IQ higher than 13.]

Diamond: So what do we do?

Avon: *hands her the skis* Hold onto dear life and hope you don't drown.

Diamond: Uhm... okay. But w-wait!

Avon: *gets on the jet ski and starts it up*

Diamond: *screams as she gets dragged from behind on the skis*

[the screen is back to the hiking trail]

(the scene reveals Brooklyn and Vanessa still fighting will the others continue to look for their teams key)

Lisa: *shuffling through bushes* I can't find it anywhere. It's like, highkey hopeless at this point. [CONF: Okay, does anyone else think that these challenges are super mediocre and tedious or is it just me? I'm an actress, made for broadway. Not a park ranger!]

Waylon: Hmm. *knocks on tree, a birds nest falls down with a very angry woodpecker attacking him* AAAHHHH! Please, please, PLEASE STOP!

Woodpecker: *stops because of Waylon's soothing voice*

Waylon: Oh yeah... I forgot. My voice. [CONF: Everyone's like, addicted to it. But especially animals, it's weird. Hey, anything to use to my advantage.]

Woodpecker: *eyes light up*

Waylon: Okay, buddy. Now go attack him! *points to Finn who is rummaging through some dirt*

Dan: *gasps at what he saw* Waylon! Isn't that like, completely against the rules?

Waylon: Shut up, Dan. *walks away*

Dan: :/ [CONF: Everyone hates me. I don't even know why. I call it nerd syndrome. Everyone thinks I must be super annoying cause I'm into video games and stuff but I'm not! *pulls out GameGuy and starts playing on it* ... Oh, yeah, everyone also always says I have a low attention span. I don't see it!

Finn: *starts getting attacked by woodpecker* AGh! Ugh! Hey! Stoppp! What gives?!

Waylon: *smiles deviously before turning around to continue looking for the key* Where is this darn thing?

(screen focuses in on Vanessa and Brooklyn who are still aggressively fighting)

Vanessa: *in a headlock* Let go of me you big oaf!

Brooklyn: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? I am not a GNOME! You little-

Lisa: I FOUND IT! Finally! *pulls out key*

Everyone: *gasps*

Vanessa: Gimme that! *tackles Lisa*

Lisa: Hey! Let go!

Brooklyn: Give that back!

Finn: *comes back with a key and a multitude of scratches* Th-thank g-goodness... th-that w-woodpecker got b-bored... *puts key into box and grabs the tickets* OK guys... l-let's go.

Lisa: *pushes Vanessa off of her* Sounds GOOD TO ME! *starts running*

Brooklyn: *grabs the key and blows the other team a raspberry and throws it far back in the forest* Have fun guys! *laughs maliciously as she runs off with her team*

Dan: Well... I think we're toast guys.

Vanessa & Waylon: Shut up, Dan!

[everyone is still climbing, Lillie is nearing the top whilst Cole, Keith, Riley, and Caitlin who is carrying Chloe are around the middle]

Lillie: Whoops. *kicks foot that causes rocks to tumble down* [CONF: I'm not mean. I'm not MEAN! That was just a competitive choice. Competition! Ugh. Get this camera off me ALREADY!]

(the rocks tumble down on Riley)

Riley: You've GOT TO BE KIDDING MEAAHH-

Cole: *grabs Riley* Hey! Don't worry. I got you. *pulls her up*

Riley: Ahw... thanks. You're so sweet. You know what you deserve? A big KISS on the lips! *goes in for a kiss*

Cole: *continues climbing, causing Riley to kiss the wall instead* What was that? Nevermind it. We kiiiinda need to finish the challenge. [CONF: Sheesh, Riley has been acting weird lately. I wonder what she's trying to tell me...]

Riley: -_-

Keith: Keep climbing guys.

Caitlin: Yeah, please do. But don't worry. You guys are gonna lose either way. *maniacally laughs*

Keith: Are you mentally deranged? [CONF: Sheesh. The girls this season are bonkers. What's up with them?]

Lillie: *gets to the absolute top and jumps up and down* Yes! Yes! Yes! *grabs key before tripping up and falling down, tangled in the harness* Help! Caitlin, help!

Caitlin: Hmmmm. Didn't you say that you didn't want to go down again? So weird that's changed.

Lillie: Listen, I don't care if you don't like me, but we're on the same team! Are you trying to lose?

Caitlin: You're right. *pulls out switch blade and swiftly cuts Lillie loose, and sends her falling* :)

Lillie: Er...

Caitlin: *jumps down, landing on Lillie* Thanks for breaking my fall. You ready to go defeat the others now?

Lillie: *heavy breathing* Just... let me... *faints*

Cole: *finally reaches the top with Keith and Riley* That took way too long, we need to figure out how to get down quick.

Riley: *grabs the key* Let's just go for gosh sake. I'm tired and I want a dang pedicure.

Keith: What's your bright idea to getting down quick? Huh?

Riley: I don't know. What's YOUR'S. Huh? HUH?!

Cole: Wait, guys! There's a escalator... like right there. *points to the side of the mountain* How'd we not notice that before?

Riley: Let's just go, Mr. Bright Ideas can lead the way. *looks over at Keith*

---

Avon: *reaches the dock* Okay, Diamond, you need to swim over there to get it.

Diamond: *drenched in water* Wh-why can't you?

Avon: I'm pretty sure it was part of the challenge. [CONF: It wasn't. I just don't want to do it.]

Diamond: *reluctantly begins to swim to the dock*

Kyla: *speeding immensely, the jetski hits the dock and sends her, Ian, and Kyle onto the dock, all injured*

Diamond: Oh my gosh, are you guys okay?

Avon: Forget about them and just get the darn key. *scribbling in notebook*

Diamond: But- [CONF: It was either be a good person... or let Avon trample on me and do whatever he says cause I'm emotionally vulnerable and weak minded. I knew what I had to do.

Kyla: Get off me! You're getting your privilege juices everywhere!

Kyle: Are you talking about SWEAT?

Diamond: *gulps and walks to grab the key and swims back to the ski*

Ian: Darn.

Kyla: *breaks free and pushes them both off* You guys are totally useless. *storms off to grab the key* Now how in the world are we supposed to get back?

Kyle: We'll have to swim back.

Ian: Not if *I* can help it! [CONF: This was my chance to shine and show them what I'm worth!]

Kyla: *raises eyebrow*

Ian: Everyone stomp on the dock! *stomps on the dock*

Kyla: *looks at Kyle and shrugs before stomping*

Kyle: *stomps as well*

(the dock breaks apart)

Kyla: Well. I guess it got my anger out. But otherwise then that, completely USELESS!

Ian: Now we got a raft! *grabs some wood* And paddles.

Kyle: Whatever. Just get us there quickly. *starts paddling*

Kyla: *hits Kyle from the back of his head with the paddle* What did I say about mansplaining?

[all the completed teams are arriving to the field where they initially landed in]

Diamond: Okay, guys. Did you all get your tickets?

Her Team: *nods*

Riley: What do we have to do now?

Cole: We have to find our way to the nearest train station I guess...

Vanessa: NOT on my watch!

Caitlin: Or mine.

Ian: Hi! My trio is also here.

Brooklyn: How did y'all get here so fast?

Lillie: Are you kidding? Those tasks were super easy.

Chris: *over intercom* Hello, campers, I think now is a good time to make an announcement: get to the nearest train station immediately and board on! Last team to board will be kicking someone off. Don't leave me waaaiiiiiting!

(the two teams glare at eachother and split up, running)

Finn: Remember our focus guys, we gotta win this!

Brooklyn: And once we're done, we rub it in their faces!

Riley: *running beside Cole and Keith* You know guys, we made a really good team today. I think we should take it to the next level...

Cole: Woah. Holding hands?

Riley: ...No. An alliance!

Keith: I mean, sure. I'm game. [CONF: Definitely not that girl is shady as hell. I don't trust her for a minute. I just can't tell her that. Cole is my bro and I need to make sure he's on the same page.

Cole: Sounds awesome!

Diamond: *to Avon* Hey, do you think they're gonna be... m-mad at me? For what I did back there?

Avon: Huh? Kyla and her crew? No.

Diamond: But I-I... I DESERTED THEM!

Avon: Listen. Stop worrying about meaningless things. That's Brooklyn's job.

Brooklyn: HEY, I HEARD THAT!

Avon: Then again, you never know. They could be keen on holding grudges.

Diamond: *slight gasp* [CONF: So they WILL be upset at me. I knew it!

Lisa: *runs up next to Diamond* Soooo, how'd the challenge go?

Diamond: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! *begins to sprint*

Lisa: *looks around uneasily* [CONF: Was it something I said?]

[the screen moves over to the other group running]

Kyla: Okay guys, REMEMBER. No mercy! Got it, specifically talking to the BOYS here.

Kyle: Do you ever shut up?

Kyla: Quiet before I beat you up again!

Ian: Let's all just calm down. I think I see a sign to the train station right there! :)

Lillie: Sweet! Let's get there as soon as possible.

Caitlin: *nods* [CONF: I have my own idea in mind.]

Dan: We're the team to beat guys!

Waylon: Barely. Let's boast after we actually get on the train.

Vanessa: I think we should boast now and when we win! *smiles*

Waylon: Of course.

[screen opens in on Chris by a train drinking a smoothie]

Chris: Where aaareee they?

Chef: Running away from your tired raggedy competition.

Chris: Pfft, as if!

Finn: We're here! *runs in, followed by the rest of Team Phat*

Riley: Do we win?

Brooklyn: Say we won already! *grabs Chris by his collar*

Chris: Relax. Let me check the tickets. *read through everyones* Welp, you guys are our winners today!

Team Phat: *cheers and high fives*

Chris: Which means you won't be going to the elimination ceremony.

(Team Fluid comes in tired and out of breath)

Kyla: Please... tell us good news.

Chris: Don't have any! Have fun voting someone off tonight. *laughs*

Vanessa: Seriously?

Brooklyn: *laughs*

Ian: Uhhhh... it'll be okay guys! R-right? We'll get through this!

Dan: I don't think so.

[Team Fluid mope in the rundown compartment]

Vanessa: This SUCKS.

Kyla: I'm pretty sure it's a safety hazard to make us stay in here.

Caitlin: So why don't we get down to business. Who are we voting out. :)

Kyle: I say that we vote off Chloe. *points at her* She's still unconscious from that stup-

Chloe: *regains conscious, screaming*

Lillie: *blocks ears* Calm down, Chloe! Calm. CALM!

Caitlin: Don't worry everyone. I'll go ahead and take her to the infirmary. *grabs Chloe and takes her out of the room*

Lillie: *looks back as Caitlin exists* Okay guys, does anyone else feel like, really weirded out by Caitlin? She's like, psycho!

Vanessa: What do you mean?

Lillie: Think about it. She's so unsettling and weird. Plus it's not like she's useful. You guys will vote her with me? *to Ian* You'll vote her right?

Ian: Um... s-sure.

Kyla: Well. You aren't wrong. But I think that girls need to stick together and we should vote off Dan or Kyle, cause they're both the least needed team members, in my opinion.

Kyle: Excuse me? Maybe we should vote YOU off for being a horrific leader!

Dan: Uh.

Vanessa: OR maybe we could vote off Waylon for being horrible and weak.

Waylon: Aren't you the one who could barely fight off BROOKLYN of all people?!

Ian: *quickly scoots away*

Everyone: *continues arguing*

Lillie: You guys!

Kyla: I'm the leader, listen to ME!

Everyone: No!

Kyle: If you were a better jetski driver we probably could have WON!

Vanessa: If Waylon helped me hold Brooklyn down, we would've gotten our key quicker!

Waylon: You are so incomprehensible and incompetent.

Dan: *playing on his GameGuy*

(the screen focuses on Ian walking to Caitlin and Chloe)

Ian: Hey, Cait. They're all arguing over what you said. :(

Caitlin: No wonder, they're all weak. What have they been saying?

Ian: Well.

Caitlin: Are you gonna tell me? Hmm? Has anyone thrown out my name?

Ian: *starts sweating Well... you see...

Caitlin: Tell me.

Chloe: *rubbing head* Is everything ok?

Ian: OK. OK. I ADMIT IT. IT'S LILLIE. SHE'S PLOTTING AGAINST YOU! SHE WANTS YOU GONE. I'M SORRY I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. BUT IT WAS HER OK. IT WAS HER. AND SHE'S TRYING TO GET EVERYONE ELSE TO VOTE YOU AS WELL! ... *covers mouth quickly*

Caitlin: ...Ok.

Chloe: Wh-why are we in here?

Caitlin: Go back to sleep Chloe. [CONF: So she thinks that she has something... ha. But don't worry. I know exactly what to do.]

[the winning team, Team Phat is enjoying the nice compartment]

(Brooklyn and Riley are getting pedicures)

Brooklyn: Ahhhh. This is the life.

Riley: You don't deserve it. I put in the most effort. I almost got TRAMPLED on!

Brooklyn: Do you want to get popped in the face? Cause if you're trying to get me out then... I'll RUIN YOU! [CONF: Everyone just loooves to push my buttons. But I can push 'em right back! After all, I'm not afraid to back down from a fight... unless it's with light sabers or something. That's just plain dangerous.]

Riley: Just enjoy it for now. Pfft. *slips on sunglasses*

Brooklyn: *slaps them off*

Riley: *gets knocked out* [CONF: Brooklyn is easily my first target. She's fat, she's dramatic, she's annoying, and she needs to go NOW.]

(Cole, Keith, and Finn are at the snack bar)

Cole: I gotta say, Finn. You did awesome encouraging the team today! We all felt like a cohesive unit for once, y'know?

Keith: *nods*

Finn: Totally. I respect you guys.

Cole: We're COMING for the championship! WHOO! *accidentally throws drink and it lands on Finn* Er... I'm sorry! I-uh... Ah'll go fix that! *runs off*

Finn: For a star quarterback, he's one of the least-smartest guys I've ever met.

Keith: Yeah he's still cool though. But keep it between you and me, I don't trust that Riley girl.

Finn: Huh? Why?

Keith: She's been trying to get it on with Cole... she's just grimy in general.

Finn: I could tell... so are you hinting at forming an alliance? *smiles*

Keith: Sure. Bros to the end.

Finn: Awesome! *fist bumps him* [CONF: This is great for my game. I've needed to get on board with a group and it's with two of the strongest team members. Their the brawn, and I'm the brains.]

Keith: [CONF: Right now I need all the help I can get to send the she-devil outta here. If it means teaming up, so be it.]

Cole: *rushes in with all of the towels and throws them all on Finn*

Finn: ...I don't think we needed that many.

Cole: Oh. Yeah. I know... uh. Just wanted to make sure.

Keith: *facepalm*

(Lisa, Avon, and Diamond are sitting at a table and reading)

Diamond: *sighs*

Lisa: You've seen more uptight than usual, Diamond. Are you sure nothings bothering you?

Diamond: Well...

Avon: Nope. Nothing has been bothering her. You should really stop babying her. What, are you her wife or something?

Lisa: *blushes in embarassment* Um, no! She's just a close friend. Excuse me for worrying, it's not like her to be depressed all the time like you!

Avon: You guys are psycho. *continues to draw*

Diamond: It'll be alright Lisa. I was just bothered cause I did something... *shivers* mean today.

Lisa: Ohh, like what? Did you spit on someone? Steal their lemon water? *gasps* TAKE THEIR ROLE IN THE SCHOOL PLAY?

Diamond: ...No. I didn't help the other team get their key.

Lisa: Oh. Well, that's not a big deal. They aren't on your team.

Diamond: I just... don't want people mad at me. It scares me.

Lisa: Don't worry. It'll all be ok. I promise! :)

Avon: *rolls eyes*

[the losing team is walking to the elimination ceremony]

(as they are walking, Caitlin briefly pulls Ian aside)

Caitlin: Okay. You now how we're friends, right?

Ian: Yeah!! For sure!!

Caitlin: And friends do nice things for eachother. Correct?

Ian: Mmmhmmm!

Caitlin: Vote for Lillie.

Ian: B-but... why? Sh-she didn't do anything! I can't just-

Caitlin: Well, if you're a real friend. You'll do it. If not...

Ian: I-I think we should go to the elimination ceremony now... [CONF: I have no idea what to do! They've both been nothing but good to me, and I promised Lillie my vote but... Caitlin's been my friend longer. Who knew being so nice could have consequences. :(]

(the elimination ceremony is lit up, they're all sitting in chairs, the train door is wide open)

Chris: Welcome challenge losers! Per typical, one of you will be heading home. If you're safe, you'll get a bag of popcorn. However, if you get the most votes. BOOM! You're thrown out of the train! *laughs* Sounds fun, huh?

Dan: No. Not really!

Vanessa: I think it's exciting!

Waylon: Can we get on with it please?

Kyla: Yeah. Send Kyle HOME!

Kyle: H-

Chris: ENOUGH! JEEZ! You guys won't shut up! Go to the confessional and send in your votes.

(voting confessionals begin)

Kyla: [CONF: It's obvious who I'm sending home. *stamps the Kyle icon*]

Waylon: [CONF: As much as Vanessa bothers me... *stamps the Dan icon*]

Lillie: [CONF: *stamps on the Caitlin icon* No more freaky girl, phew!]

Chloe: [CONF: ... I-I... *looks at camera fearfully* I DO AWFUL UNDER PRESSURE! STOP LOOKING AT ME, OKAY?!]

(voting confessionals end)

Chris: Okay. If I call your name... you are safe! With 0 votes... Ian, you are safe! *throws popcorn at him*

Ian: *fails to catch it* Yeah...

Chris: Also with 0 votes, good job Waylon, you're suaveness has saved you. *throws popcorn*

Waylon: Yes! *catches the popcorn*

Chris: Somehow, despite doing nothing the whole episode, Chloe is also safe with no votes. *throws it at her*

Chloe: *screams* I'm allergic!

Vanessa: What aren't you allergic too?

Chris: *throws bags at Vanessa, Kyle, and Kyla* You are all safe. With 1 vote each.

Kyla & Kyle: *glare at eachother as they catch the popcorn*

Vanessa: Neat! *chomps on popcorn*

Chris: Which leads us to our bottom 3. Lillie... I don't know why you're here. Dan, you're annoying. Caitlin, you're psycho. Enough said. Weirdly though, Caitlin is safe, receiving only 1 vote.

Caitlin: *smiles*

Lillie: Huh? ...

Chris: Lillie and Dan. Both very different. Both very useless. Only ONE of you will cockroach your way through this elimination and with 2 votes, that is...

Lillie: *crosses fingers*

Dan: *continues playing his video game* Wait, are we still doing this?

Chris: Lillie!

Lillie: *stands up and cheers* YES! WOOT WOOT! I'm STILL IN IT TO WIN IT!

Chris: ... You're out. Nice job, man. *throws the popcorn at Dan, who doesn't catch it*

Dan: Oh. Word.

Lillie: Wh-what? How? Why me? What did I DO?

Kyla: *shrugs* I don't know. I didn't vote you.

Caitlin: Guess some people thought you were weird and unsettling. :~)

Lillie: *gasps* Who... Who told you?! Ian, was it y-

Caitlin: *pushes Lillie out the plane and shuts the door* I think that's enough of her.

Vanessa: Sheesh. Harsh! *laughs*

Waylon: *puzzled* What does she mean about Ian?

Ian: *gulps and stays back in his seat*

(the episode ends with the team walking off and Chris standing in the elimination area)

Chris: Well, well, well. Caitlin got her way and Ian ended up voting with her! Now that this game is getting a lot more SERIOUS and FRISKY, what else can we expect? Will the team hold a grudge against Ian for being a promise breaker? And will more alliances be formed against the seemingly sexually active seductress Riley? Find out next time, on Total... DRAMA... EXPRESS!

[the screen zooms out focusing on the train as the screen fades to black]

votes:

Lillie: Caitlin, Chloe, Ian

Dan: Vanessa, Waylon

Caitlin: Lillie

Kyla: Kyle

Kyle: Kyla

Vanessa: Dan

an: this episode took almost a week to complete omg. but i'm really proud with how it turned out and starting up all the plots that i think needed to happen. it's still pretty early but i hope everyone starts to get a sense of where everything is going to end up, and then get shocked when it ends in a completely different way then you expect. tell me alllll your thoughts on the episode and including the boot. it was pretty easy to decide that it'd be this person to go because of all the "normies around weirdos" we have and i knew i had to get rid of one, and it just turned out it was her. however i really enjoyed writing her and felt she bounced off well with the cast.