User:Rainbowderp01/Germ Factory (Transcript)

[ Theme song ]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[kids humming theme song]

Chef: Hey kids! It's Giggle Dough Day!

Courtney, Izzy, and Noah: Yay!

Chef: Come and get it! Ah!

[kids cheering]

Izzy: [laughs]

Noah: Woohoo, yeah!

[splatting]

[kids laughing]

Chef: [gasps] Kids, stop throwing the giggle dough or I will--

[splat]

[whistle blows]

Chef: Do you think this is funny? Do you?

Jude: [laughs]

Izzy: Look at his face! Ha ha ha! It's hilarious!

Chef: [growls] Everyone on the carpet, now! We are going to learn about responsibility. Who is responsible for this mess?

Beth: Well, since you're the one who handed out the giggle dough, I guess it's you.

Chef: What?

Owen: She's right.

Chef: No, she is not.

Izzy: Aw, man. He's gonna try to blame this on us.

Chef: It was you.

Harold: We're just children!

Chef: Enough! You know what you did, and Giggle Dough Day just became Cleanup Day.

All but Duncan, Courtney, and Jude: Aww...

Jude: Harsh.

Chef: I want this entire place spotless by lunchtime. I'll be in my office, uh... working.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Chef: [confessional] I've been asked to submit some photos of myself for the Child Educators' Calendar this year. Still not sure what kind of photo I should send them. I'm thinking super tough and cuddly at the same time!

[cat meows]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Courtney: [humming]

Jude: Dude, whatcha doin?

Duncan: Digging and escape tunnel. I gotta get outta this place.

Jude: And go where, bro?

Duncan: I'm thinking Splash Madness Kingdom. Home of the Wedgie Maker.

Jude: Sweet! But everyone is supposed to be cleaning up.

Duncan: I don't see Leshawna cleaning.

Jude: That's 'cause she's not here today, bro. She's home sick.

Duncan: [gasps]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[dream sequence]

Duncan: [voiceover] I've been wasting all my time trying to dig my way out...

[buzzer]

Duncan: ...when all I had to do was get sick!

[heavenly music]

[rock music]

[ding]

[sequence over]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Duncan: Genius!

Bridgette: She must be so bored and lonely. We should call and cheer her up!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Leshawna: Hey, guys, what's up?

Jude: Brah, you're missing Giggle Dough Day. Owen ate his. It was awesome.

Bridgette: How are you doing? Are you okay?

Leshawna: Girl, I've been staying up late, rocking my PJs all day, and I just binge watched Power Kitten Ninja Dance Force.

Jude: Dude, she just described my perfect day. Being sick kinda rocks.

Duncan: No kidding!

Leshawna: And, my mom stayed home from work to take care of me. Watch this. Hey, mama! Where's my ice cream! [claps]

Duncan: You get to eat ice cream too?!

Leshawna: All you can eat, baby! That is, after you get through all the--

Duncan: Great! Talk soon! Bye bye! Guys, I have the best plan ever. Emergency meeting in the castle, stat!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Duncan: We need to get in on this "being sick" action pronto. Do you have any idea how much fun we're missing?

[daydream]

Duncan: [laughs] Yeah! Whoo!

[daydream]

[boinging]

[splat]

Jude: Nice!

Owen: Woohoo! Hey... you've got ice cream? Woohoohoo!

[daydream ends]

Jude and Owen: Cool.

Duncan: Ready for the best plan ever? Gwen, look up how to get the flu.

Courtney: Wait, you're gonna try to get sick? That is not only totally gross, but highly inconvenient for your parents. Anyway, you're going about it wrong. No one's gonna tell you how to get the flu. You have to look up how not to get sick, and then do the opposite.

Duncan: Good call, Courtney. Do it!

Courtney: W-Wait, what?

[on video]

Voiceover: Getting the flu can be a real pain. But avoiding it can be even harder. Evil germs are everywhere, on every surface. They're on the door handle, on your desk...

Clerk: Ah!

Voiceover: They're even on your phone!

Germ Guy: Yo dawg, what's up?

Voiceover: But there's hope! Avoid touching anyone who's sick, or anything they've been in contact with, and you too can stay germ-free.

[video ends]

Duncan: Okay, you all heard Courtney. All we have to do is the opposite of what they just said and we're home free!

Courtney: I never said that! Attendance matters. I'm one day away from getting my gold star for one hundred days of perfect attendance.

Jude: I don't know, dude. Getting sick on purpose is kinda whack.

Duncan: [clears throat]

[triumphant music]

Duncan: Lemme ask you this. Why should the awesomeness of a sick day be enjoyed only by the sick? Do healthy kids not deserve to play hours of video games and eat delicious snacks in bed too?

Izzy: Yeah!

Duncan: Guys, cleaning up this place is a nightmare! And we're just one flu bug away from being in our PJs, cuddling with out mommies! Who's with me?!

Beth, Bridgette, Cody, and Gwen: [cheer]

Owen: Let's do it!

Duncan: Now let's get out there and lick some germs!

All but Courtney and Duncan: [cheer]

Courtney: [groans]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Izzy: Ehh....

Owen: [licking]

[licking]

Courtney: [groaning] [shudders]

Izzy: Hmmm...

Duncan: Okay, pretend doctor. What do you think?

Izzy: I'm afraid it's bad news. You're healthy.

Duncan: How many surfaces does a guy have to lick to get out of this place?!

Beth: Yeah, I thought this place was supposed to be a germ factory.

Bridgette: I guess we're stuck here cleaning.

Jude: [sighs] All that TV left unwatched.

Owen: All that ice cream left uneaten!

Duncan: The germs are here. We're just not looking hard enough. Time to take this little operation up a notch! If we wanna see where all the--

[balloon deflates]

Owen: Hey, Chef? Why are you wearing that?

Chef: [muffled] Oh! Yeah, well, heh, 'cause I'm, uh... is that the phone?

Owen: That was weird.

Duncan: If we wanna see where all the good germs are, we need a blacklight! This is our ticket to infection!

Bridgette, Izzy, Jude, and Owen: Yay!

Courtney: I have no intention of getting sick. I'm only following you to see where the germs are so I can avoid them in the future.

Duncan: Yeah, sure, whatever, fine.

Courtney: Wait up!

[click]

Duncan: Bingo!

[germs chatter]

Duncan: This is the best idea ever.

Courtney: Ugh, this is so gross!

Duncan: All aboard the express train to Sickville! Population, us!

[kids hum montage music]

[germs chatter]

[licking]

Izzy: [gasps] Aww, it's a germ birthday party! Hey guys! Who needs a nice warm body to infect?

[germs chatter]

[lick]

Courtney: Uh, I think we need some adult supervision in here. Chef, you need to come in--

[camera clicking]

Courtney: [gasps] Oh my gosh. I can never unsee that.

[door closes]

Duncan: Is anyone feeling sick now?

Jude: Mm, negatory. You?

Duncan: [sighs] You?

Owen: So we did all the licking for nothing?!

Duncan: Science is not an exact science.

Courtney: Don't you guys know anything? You just licked up the germs. It takes time for them to infect your body. Relax, I'm sure you're all doomed.

Izzy: Finally, some good news!

Courtney: I, on the other hand, haven't touched a single germ. That perfect attendance star is mine!

Bridgette: [sneezes]

Courtney: [gasps] Ew!

Bridgette: Sorry.

[germs chatter]

Duncan: Yeah, you're totally getting sick.

Courtney; [screams]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Bridgette and Cody: [vomiting]

Duncan: It worked! We're going home! Best plan eve-- [vomits]

Owen: For the love of stuffed animals, does anyone have a backup diaper?!

Beth: Open the door! I need to throw up!

Izzy: No! Find your own bathroom!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Chef: Whoa, that day went by fast. All right, children. Time to pack up! Your parents are here!

Owen: [vomits] Sweet Marie, it's coming out like Niagara Falls! [vomits]

[crash]

Beth: [vomits]

Duncan: I think my bum just melted. [vomits]

[thud]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[kids hum morning theme]

Chef: Yep. You're the only one here today.

Leshawna: I tried to tell the other kids, you don't get the ice cream until after you get through two days of violent vomiting and diarrhea, but they hung up on me. Whatcha got there?

Chef: Uh, the new Child Educators' Calendar just came out.

[pages flipping]

Chef: I think I overdid it a little.

[pounding on door]

Courtney: Made it. I have perfect attendance. Let me in! I'm not sick. See? I'm totally fine. [vomits and coughs] Just put a little tick on the sheet?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Duncan: Worst... [vomits] plan... [vomits] ever! [vomits]

[kids hum ending theme]

[credits]