User:Rainbowderp01/A Ninjustice to Harold (Transcript)

[ Theme song ]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[kids humming theme song]

[gong sounds]

Harold: [ninja voice] Harold, recite the three rules of the ninja. [himself] Yes, master. Rule number one. A ninja must always protect others from danger.

[phone rings]

Chef: Hello, this is--

Harold: That could be a crank call!

[pew]

Chef: Ah!

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Harold: [ninja voice] Harold, what is the second rule of the ninja? [himself] Rule number two is, a ninja must serve his fellow man.

Bridgette: Aww, mom forgot to cut my sandwich today.

Harold: I'll cut your ham sandwich! Hyah!

Bridgette: Ew!

Owen: Mmm, mustard and watermelon. Not bad.

Harold: You're welcome.

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Harold: [ninja voice] What is the third rule of the ninja? [himself] The third rule of the ninja is... a ninja must accept all dangerous missions.

Chef: Snack is ready!

Harold: I am needed!

Chef: Who wants to deliver these pudding cups to the kids outside?

Harold: I accept this mission!

Chef: Anyone?

Harold: I will!

Chef: Anybody?

Harold: Chef! Chef, Chef!

Chef: Anyone at all?

Harold: Ooh, over here! Chef!

Chef: [sighs] Okay, Harold, but promise me you'll just carry this like a normal kid. No ninja nonsense.

Harold: I will not fail you on this dangerous mission.

Chef: You're still doing it! Doing the ninja thing. You gotta stop.

Harold: You have my word.

Chef: Good. Now go hand out the snacks.

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[kids humming]

[kids laughing]

[gong sounds]

Duncan: Great. He has the gong again.

Harold: Attention. I, your class ninja, have traveled many feet to bring you today's snack.

Owen: What's the snack? What's the snack? What's the snack?

Harold: The cups of the pudding!

[gong sounds]

Duncan: [growls]

Bridgette: Can we, um, have them?

Harold: At the sound of the gong, snack time begins.

[gong sounds]

Harold: Ah! Oh no!

Bridgette, Courtney, Duncan, and Noah: [gasp]

Owen: No!

Beth: Would any of you like more tea?

Owen: My pudding cups!

Beth: I'll save them!

Owen: Mm...

Bridgette: Awesome moves, Beth. You're like some kind of ninja.

Harold: [gasps] Beth can't be a ninja, I'm the class ninja!

Owen: [gasps] We should call you Ninja Beth!

Bridgette, Courtney, Duncan, Noah, and Owen: Yay, Ninja Beth! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!

Harold: Okay, wait, wait, wait! I'm the ninja! I'm Ninja Harold!

Noah: Mm, that kinda steps on Ninja Beth's nickname, though.

Harold: Yeah, well, if I'm not a ninja, then why would I have this Ninja Master ribbon?

Beth: Because they come for free in every box of Snazzy Crunch cereal? Pretty sure we all have one.

Owen: Yeah, check it out!

Noah: Got mine right here.

Duncan: I've got three!

[fish glugging]

[sad music]

Harold: [sighs]

Courtney, Duncan, Noah, and Owen: Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth!

Harold: Maybe they're right. I couldn't even finish my mission. All my life, I... I've wanted to be a ninja. If I'm not a ninja, then what am I? [echoes] Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

[wind blows]

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[kids hum dramatic music]

[rain pours]

Harold: [echoed scream]

[polar bear roars]

Harold: "Dishwasher needed". Well, if I'm not a ninja, maybe I'm a dishwasher.

Monk 1: Who ordered the cheeseburger?

Harold: Hi, uh, I'd like to apply for the dishwasher job and--

[kids hum action music]

[monks cheer]

Monk 2: Whoa, kid! You're no dishwasher. You're some kind of ninja. [echoes] Ninja, ninja, ninja...

Harold: You're right! I am a ninja!

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Bridgette, Izzy, and Noah: Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth!

[slicing]

Beth: Mm...

Owen: She's a food ninja too.

Izzy: Here, Beth! Catch this!

Harold: Hyah!

Bridgette, Izzy, Noah, and Owen: [gasp]

Owen: Boy, Harold. You were in the bathroom for a long time.

Harold: Beth, I challenge you to an ultimate skills battle!

[dramatic sting]

Bridgette, Izzy, Noah, and Owen: [gasp]

Harold: The winner gets to be class ninja, and the loser doesn't.

Beth: It's okay, Harold, you can be the--

Bridgette: Why can't there just be two ninjas?

Harold: B-Because! N-Ninja rules say so, and, and everyone knows that, that real ninjas don't wear silly bee costumes!

Bridgette, Izzy, Noah, and Owen: [gasp]

[fish screams]

Chef: Oh, snap.

Beth: What... did you just say? [confessional] He shouldn't have said that. I was just gonna let him be the class ninja, but now... uh-uh. [real time] Challenge accepted.

Izzy and Owen: [gasps]

Owen: Whoa...

Izzy: Hoohoo, yes! This is gonna get so ugly!

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Bridgette: Welcome to the first...

Noah: And probably last...

Bridgette: Class Ninja Battle Challenge Royale! Let's meet the competitors. First up is Beth. Forty-six pounds. Nicknamed Ninja Beth. She's about to try karate chopping through three ice pop sticks.

Beth: Hyah!

Noah: Three ice pop sticks! Wow! Can her challenger chop through four?

Bridgette: We'll have to wait and see! Beth's challenger is Harold.

Noah: Fifty-three pounds and once lost a fight to a chicken.

Bridgette: We are just waiting on his four ice pop sticks.

Harold: [breathing in and out]

Bridgette: Oh, here they come now.

Owen: [slurp] Ow, brain freeze!

Harold: Hi-yah!

[crack]

Harold: [screams]

Bridgette: Ooh, I guess Ninja Beth took that one. Now, we go to the Mousetrap Minefield.

Noah: You need to cross the minefield of traps...

Harold: Ha! Piece of cake.

Noah: While dodging dodgeballs!

Harold: Huh?

Izzy: [laughs]

Harold: Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Noah: Wow, he's not missing a single trap, is he?

Bridgette: No, he is not.

Beth: Thanks for clearing a path, Harold!

Harold: You're not welcome. Ow!

Noah: It's another victory for Beth!

Beth: [confessional] I kinda feel bad for Harold. Maybe I should just--

Harold: [confessional] Beth, I will defeat you! Because I am better than you in every. SIngle. Way! Ah! Ow!

Beth: [confessional] Not feeling so bad about him now.

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Bridgette: Time for the final event off the Class Ninja Challenge Battle Royale!

Noah: And the title's still up for grabs because no one has been keeping count and we haven't learned math.

Bridgette: Yup. Whoever wins this event will be named class ninja.

Noah: It starts with a race down the slide of fire ants...

Owen: Why do they call them fire ants? Ah!

Bridgette: Then, across the monkey bars with real monkeys!

Harold: And they look pretty surly!

Beth: No problem!

Harold: I thought this was going to be hard! Ha.

Noah: Gotta make it across the snapping crab sandbox before crossing the tofu-greased teeter totter. But it doesn't end there. Next, we test the would-be ninja's swimming skills with a splash pad dash through piranha territory.

[chomp]

Owen: Hey!

Bridgette: Then finally take a leap of faith over the pit of sharp objects!

[shing]

Bridgette: And break through the winner's ribbon. Harold, you're up first.

[ants crawl]

Noah: On your mark...

Harold: [gulps] A real ninja can do anything he puts his mind to.

Noah: Get set...

Harold: Time to show them I'm the greatest ninja that ever lived!

Noah: Go!

Harold: I can't! I can't do it! It's just too scary! I'm scared! I'm not looking! I can't go!

Bridgette: Harold, giving up. Beth remains class ninja!

Harold: Hah... you won, fair and square. [cries]

Beth: Uh, about that. I don't really wanna be a ninja.

Harold: What?

Beth: I only took the challenge because you said my bee outfit was silly.

Harold: I-I didn't mean that. I-I think bees are cool!

Beth: You do?

Harold: Oh yeah! Did you know that honeybees can fly...

Beth and Harold: Sixteen miles per hour!

Beth: Harold, if I become class ninja, who will be the class bee? The ninjas job is yours. Always has been, always will be. High five!

[smack]

Harold: Ah! Ah, fire! Oh, they're breathing fire!

Noah: Dibs on his cubby!

Harold: Oh! Ow! [yelping in pain] Man-eating fish, oh, whoa! [panting]

Beth: Wait to go, Ninja Harold!

Harold: [panting]

Beth, Courtney, Duncan, and Owen: [cheer]

Izzy: Hey, guys, look what I made! I call it a piranha launcher! Ha!

[shooting]

Beth, Courtney, Duncan, Harold, and Owen: Ah!

[monkey hoots]

Izzy: [laughing]

Owen: Ah! No!

Bridgette: Ha! Ho! Bad fish, bad!

Izzy: [laughs] Whoa! Rrgh...

Noah: Whoa! Bridgette, you were like...

Harold: Oh no!

Noah: A ninja!

Harold: No!

[kids hum ending music]

[credits]