User:Rainbowderp01/TDI Rundown (Transcript)

Voiceover: Canada: The great white north. Elements too harsh for any normal human to withstand. Yet we found twenty-two teenagers willing to take the challenge and brave the frozen elements for a chance to win--

[record scratch]

Chris: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Hold on a minute, brah. I think you're introducing a completely different reality show. The one I know does have twenty-two teens, although... normal and brave aren't the first two words that come to mind.

[ Theme song plays ]

Chris: It's Total Drama Island. Eight weeks of high-flying, adrenaline-pumping, puke-inducing...

DJ: [vomits]

Chris: Hilarity in the ultimate battle of skill and strategy for the grand prize.

Owen: Oh! Oh!

Chris: $100,000! You've helped make it one of the biggest shows to ever hit Cartoon Network. And tonight, on the eve of the spectacular finale, we're gonna give you a glimpse inside the lives of some of your favorite players with their never-before-seen audition tapes! We've also got a hot new music video with your favorite hilarious scenes.

Duncan: [laughs]

Chris: Plus an exclusive sneak peek at the grand prize season finale. And I know you don't wanna miss that. It all happens tonight! Right here, right now on Total. Drama. Island. Rundown!

[theme song continues with multiple sound effects]

[cheering]

Gwen: Woohoo!

Geoff: [laughs]

Leshawna: [screaming]

Chris: Cody!

[cheering]

Owen: Whoo!

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Chris: Well, you can't have a reality show or any drama for that matter without the players, and boy, do we know how to pick 'em. Gwen, Beth, Cody, Heather, Izzy, Justin, Leshawna, Lindsay, Noah, Owen...

Owen: Whoo!

Chris: Trent, Bridgette, Courtney, Duncan...

Duncan: [laughs]

Chris: DJ, Eva, Ezekiel, Geoff, Harold, Katie, Sadie, and Tyler.

Tyler: Woohoo!

Chris: For their auditions, there were only two requirements we were looking for. One, you had to be a teen, and two, you either had to be kooky, obnoxious, stuck up, dense, loud, annoying, filthy, or anywhere remotely in between. How'd we do? Just check out their audition tapes!

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Lindsay: The audition sheet says to list my best qualities, but ha, there's so many. I'm pretty and smart, and I get along with everyone. Even ugly girls. Mhm. I love camping, even though I've never gone. I have bikinis for every season, even the ones not listed on the calendar, and I'm bi-languageal. I speak fluent English and American.

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Harold: I've got badges in bass fishing, basketry, farm mechanics, model making, rabbit raising, and stamp collecting with a master badge in compass reading. [wheezy inhale]

[keyboard plays]

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Tyler: What you need on this show is a real athlete and I'm your man! Yeah, baby! Catch this action! Oof! Oh! Ooh!

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Beth: [singing poorly] Skater boys are cool, yeah, yeah, wanna be with you, yeah, yeah, can you hear-- call me 'cause I'll be there for you, call me... for uh, you. Yeah--

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Leshawna: Hey, yo, Leshawna in the house! Big, bold, and bootylicious. I'm giving a shoutout to my TDI crew. If you want a sister who's straight up large and in charge, then give a holler back. 'Cause I'm all that and a bag of chips! [crickets chirp] Well? What you waitin' for, fools? I ain't got all day!

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Chris: [voiceover] Based on their personalities, we divided them into two different teams: The Killer Bass and The Screaming Gophers.

Owen: I'm a Gopher! Whoo!

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Heather: [blows whistle] Okay. I'm the team captain, so here's how it's gonna work.

Gwen: Wait. Who said you were team captain?

Chris: [voiceover] Now that one? Oh, don't get me started on that one. Okay, I'll start on that one.

Heather: I have a plan to get me and two other people into the final three, and I chose you guys.

Chris: [voiceover] Heather quickly made an impression on everyone and was the first to form an alliance.

Heather: I am placing my trust in you. And trust is a two-way street.

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Chris: [voiceover] Then the train to Dramatown left the station.

Heather: [screams]

Chris: [voiceover] But, love her or hate her, I've gotta give it to the girl. She really put the drama in Total Drama Island. All the way up to the end to the Dock of Shame. And she did that kicking and screaming. [normal] And speaking of that dock, let's refresh your memory of the losers who were deprived of their coveted marshmallows

Voiceover: TDI Rundown!

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Chris: [voiceover] Ezekiel was the first booted off when he made rude remarks about his female teammates.

Geoff: Let's give him a break. I mean, at least he doesn't think guys are smarter than girls.

Ezekiel: But they are.

[buzzer]

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Chris: [voiceover] Eva was shown the door after she accused several people of stealing her MP3 player.

Eva: One of you must've stolen it. I need my music!

[buzzer]

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Chris: [voiceover] After a huge dodgeball battle in which Noah refused to participate, guess who got the boot.

Noah: [sarcastically] Knock 'em out, throw 'em out. Rah, rah!

[buzzer]

Chris: [voiceover] Big surprise.

Noah: Ow!

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Chris: [voiceover] Justin left after the big talent show, when it was pointed out that beauty wasn't a talent.

[ding]

[buzzer]

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Chris: [voiceover] When the teens were sent to spend a night in the woods, Katie and Sadie got lost, losing the contest for the Killer Bass. Goodbye, Katie.

Sadie: No! Why Katie? Why her?!

Katie: It's so unfair!

[buzzer]

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Chris: [voiceover] Tyler was the next to get voted off after our phobia challenge. He couldn't get over his fear of chickens.

Tyler: [screams]

[buzzer]