User blog:Fedora Lord Para 348/Total Drama: Enter the Island - Episode 1: We're Back, Baby!

(NOTE: VERY TL;DR)

About 1 year after Lightning's big victory over Cameron in Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, Chris McLean escaped from jail unbeknownst to the police, and went on to create Total Drama: Enter the Island. He took the 38 contestants which competed in Total Drama Island, Action, World Tour, and Revenge of the Island to a string of islands off the coast of Canada. In addition to the 38, Chris also decided to add 6 new ones... Find out what happens, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ENTER THE ISLAND!!!

(Cue the theme song, and we're good!)

(All the 38 who competed in previous Total Drama's are in a plane, being taken to that string of islands. Alejandro, Scott, Ezekiel, and Dakota are in their original forms again)

Noah: Oh yes! We're back, baby!

Owen: YEAH!! Can't wait!

(Sierra is sitting really close to Cody)

Sierra: I can't believe it! We're competing again!! Cody, isn't this exciting?

Cody: Uh, yeah, sure, uh, just don't, you know, be so obsessive?

Sierra: I'm sorry, I can't help it. I LOVE YOU CODY!!!!

Cody: (Groans, then facepalms)

Trent: Well, hopefully I can get somewhere this time. And I can make more friends.

Heather: Maybe I'll be able to win again!

Ezekiel: Heather, if you win again, there won't be a happy watcher of the show.

Eva: Shut it, Ezekiel! You were the first voted out of the first season and the second in the third! You have no chance.

Scott: No one's getting past Scott this time! (Laughs maniacally)

Mike: Scott, we all know your tricks. We've got our eyes on you.

Zoey: Yeah, Scott!

Duncan: Scott... man, that guy was evil.

Alejandro: Compared to me, Scott's a-

Dawn: Alejandro, no one was nearly as evil as Scott. You pale in comparison to him. His aura is just teeming with evil while yours has its good parts.

Alejandro: So, you beautiful lady, would you like to help me get farther?

Dawn: Never, Alejandro! I know your tricks not just by the show, but by your aura as well.

Alejandro: A-aura?

Lightning: Aw yeah! I'm gonna sha-win this season too!

Jo: You won't win without my help. That's the only reason you won the last season.

Brick: Jo, cut Lightning some slack. He got far in the last season, you didn't. Just get over it like I did.

(Jo's face tenses up, and she glares at Brick)

Brick: Ooooooor you could continue being mad at Lightning!

Harold: I'm just gonna win the contest with my mad skills! Beware of Harold!

Beth: I don't really care too much about winning. But it would be something incredible to me if I did!

Lindsay: Oh my gosh!!! I'd love to win! And go live in Paris, France! It would be soooooooo fab!

Katie: Sadie, can you believe we're going back?

Sadie: Yeah, but we're not going back to Wawanakwa. We're going to some string of islands of the coast of Canada or something like that. That's what Chris told us.

Katie: I know, I meant competing. Still, can you believe it?

Sadie: No, I can't!  This is sooooooo exciting!

(Geoff and Bridgette are making out)

Duncan: Yeah, you guys haven't changed at all.

DJ: Just let it happen, Duncan. You shouldn't interrupt love like that.

Duncan: Whatever.

DJ: I'm still worried about going back. I know that it's only to some string of islands or something like that, but still, I don't think I'm going to like it.

Cameron: Yeah, I was lucky to survive the last season. I suppose I'm on your side, DJ. Though I've conquered my fear of Lightning...

Gwen: I wonder what Chris has thought have in his insane mind of his...?

Izzy: It doesn't matter! As long as it's totally crazy, I'm all for it!!

Tyler: That doesn't surprise me. This is going to be incredible! I'm gonna do everything it takes!

(The plane lands)

Chris: Here we are now, at the string of islands I told you about!

Staci: You do know that islands were discovered by-

Everyone: NO!!!

Dakota: Let's go!

Sam: Yeah!

(Everyone gets out of the plane)

Chris: All right, campers! You've been brought back to win ONE BILLION DOLLARS!

Duncan: One billion, huh? I'm liking this already.

Chris: And I will now introduce you to 6 new contestants! First, give it up for... (Drum roll) Jerry!

(A racecar drives onto the island and stops by the campers)

Anne Maria: A racecar, huh? Well, that does not get chicks anymore, you know that?

Ezekiel: What does?

Anne Maria: Like I'd tell you!

Leshawna: Let's just be cool here. Is Jerry in that racecar?

(A guy dressed in a racecar driving uniform and a racing helmet steps out of the racecar. His attire is red, and the helmet covers his face.  His shirt has the number "442" on it)

Noah: Are you Jerry the Racecar Driver?

Jerry: Yes, I am. I'm excited to be a part of this show with you guys.

Tyler: Wait a minute... this guy's an athlete too?

Lightning: Another jock?!

Jerry: Well, racing isn't a physical sport, so...

Tyler: I've got my eye on you...

Lindsay: Wait... which one of you's Tyler?

Tyler: Lindsay, did you seriously forget?

Jerry: Can't we all just get along here? I don't want drama.

Heather: Unfortunately, you can't avoid that. It's called Total DRAMA Island for a reason.

Jerry: Right, right. Well, I don't like it.

Chris: Here's... Roxanne!

(A girl with green streaks in her brown hair walks and leans against a tree. She wears black and red, with a skull and crossbones on her shirt.  Her arms are crossed, and she seems to be disgruntled to an extent)

Duncan: Just another punk?! What are people copying me for?

Roxanne: Shut your face, supposed bad boy. I know all about you. And I know for a fact that I am different from you.

Gwen: And you have the guts to talk like that to my boyfriend?! I'm going to kill you right here, right now, false punk!

Roxanne: False punk? Please. I've been a Misfits fan for years. And if you kill me, you'll go to jail.

Chris: Now, let me introduce you to Dave!

(A bulky guy wearing a black tank top, spiked black shoulder pads, spiked bracelets, spiked boots, black jeans (not skinny), long brown hair, brown facial hair, and an electric double-necked guitar strapped to his back walks in front of the campers.)

Dave: Who's ready to rock?! (Takes out his guitar, plugs it into an amplifier, and plays an incredible solo)

Ezekiel: Whoa! How'd you do that?

Dave: It takes around 10 years of being a metalist to play something like that.

Duncan: Wow! And I thought I wouldn't be impressed with anyone here!

Trent: Uh-oh. He's a better guitarist than me.

Katie: I still think you're better, Trent!

Sadie: Yeah, we don't even like metal!

Anne Maria: Ew, neither do I.  This gross guy with his long greasy hair and his bad leather clothes. I'd hate to be him. You'll never be on Jersey, kid!

Dave: Kid? I'm as old as you. And I don't want to be on Jersey. I don't like the music they listen to. Think we're opposites.

Noah: Wait a minute... great metal guitarist...? Could you be Dave Mustaine? (Laughs, and everyone else who knows of him does too)

Dave: Nah, I'm 16 years of age. So, there's no way I could be Dave Mustaine. But he is a good guitarist.

Noah: ...That was a joke.

Owen: And a funny one at that!

Chris: Now, here's Carly!

(A slender girl with long brown hair, a slight tan, a red top, and short blue jean shorts walks directly to the campers)

Carly: Hello, boys.

(Boys swoon over Carly)

Justin: Are you single?

Scott: Hey, no fair, you got to ask before I did?

Cody: Oh, it is on!

(Scott, Cody, and Justin all scramble and fight with each other)

Carly: Oh, dear me, did I cause a fight? I’m sorry boys. You guys are just sooooooooo hot. (Winks at those three)

Justin: Well, what else do you expect of Justin?

Scott: I believe she was winking at ME!!

Cody: I think- (Remembers Gwen) Never mind. You guys can have her.

Sierra: You just seduced my man! For that, you’ll pay, Carly! (Sierra makes her way towards Carly, but Carly puts her hand up)

Carly: Now, now, it’s no one’s fault for being hot. I had no idea this would happen. I’m sorry. (She sounds deceptive in the way she speaks)

Geoff: She’s hot!

Bridgette: Geoff! Not you too...

Chris: Before we get into some argument and start drama, here’s, (quietly) drum roll please, Vice!

(A guy in a blue overcoat with long blonde hair and expensive-looking clothes stepped onto the island. He has his nose to the air, and obviously doesn’t care about the others)

Vice: Well, hello there, future losers.

Heather: I am no loser!

Duncan: Who’re you calling losers?!

Vice: Oh, no one, just the fat guy, the faux-punk, the wannabe metalist, the crazy girl, the failed cynic, the manly girls, the near-twins, and everyone else on the island.

Gwen: You just insulted Duncan when you said that!

Vice: I know.

Scott: Hm... this guy’s perfect...

Ezekiel: Where’d you get all that expensive stuff?

Vice: From a store I like to call “Rich Man’s Chest”. I bought it with my money. I get an allowance of $3,000 a week.

Lightning: That’s more than I get in a year! Sha-Rich kid!

Cameron: Wow. With money like that, you could end world hunger!

Dawn: You could make a sanctuary for all the animals.

Cody: You could retire now!

Vice: I’ll do what I want with my money, you groveling worms.

Chris: So, we’ve all seen Vice. So now, finally, here’s Lola!

(A girl who’s about as thin as Zoey, who is wearing a brown, long-sleeved shirt with a knee-long red skirt and a shy face steps onto the island)

Lola: I-is this where I n-need to be?

Chris: Ladies and Gentlemen, Lola!

Ezekiel: (Hearts appear in his eyes)  Hi! Are you Lola?

Lola: (Backs away quietly)  Y-you’re Ezekiel, aren’t you...? Y-yes, I’m Lola... I’m kinda shy...

Lindsay: It’s okay, Lola! I’ll be your friend!

Lola: Th-thanks...

Chris: Okay, we now have our 44 contestants! Twice the amount of the original series! Okay, so now, we have our first challenge! You guys will go all around the island looking for four totem poles, each a different color. There’s one in black, red, blue, and green. Each color represents a team. If you find a totem, you instantly become a team captain. Four teams of eleven! And... (checks his watch)

Noah: Yeah, we REALLY need you to do that.

Chris: Go!

(All the contestants go around looking for the totem poles)

Tyler: (Looking in a bush)  Nothing in here! (A rock falls on his head) Ow! Duncan: (Is above Tyler)  Sorry! No, I’m not sorry. Got a Totem Pole to find!

Dawn: Hm... taking in the energy in which Chris described, and then searching it out... (Dawn closes her eyes, and looks left)  That way!

Harold: That is awesome! How do you do that?

Dawn: I could teach you, but it would require hours of finding your true potential.

Harold: Cool!

Dawn: I can wake you up at three in the morning to train.

Harold: Uh, without my internal clock, I lose my mojo!

Dawn: This kind of power isn’t for just anyone. (Lifts a large rock and finds the green totem pole) I found one.

Chris: Dawn is the captain of a team!

(Meanwhile, Cody is in a tree)

Cody: Just stay cool. She won’t find me up here.

Jerry: (Looking at Cody)  What’re you doin’ kid? Any luck?

Sam: Press A!  It’s the “examine” button!

Cody: I’m not looking for a Totem Pole. I’m hiding from Sierra.

Sierra: (Suddenly appears out of nowhere)  Cody!!! I found you! (Starts climbing the tree)

Cody: Nooooooo!!

(The blue Totem Pole falls on her head)

Sierra: Ow! (Falls out of the tree) Hey, what’s this?

Chris: Sierra is the captain of another team!

(Dave, Noah, and Owen are searching underwater, and they rise to the surface)

Owen: Why are we searching underwater?

Noah: Right, right, because Chris expects us to search here.

Dave: C’mon, guys. We could easily find it here.

(A shark taps Dave’s shoulder)

Dave: No, Noah, we’re not leaving. (Turns around) Whoa! Dude, time for you to face the power of METAL!!! (Punches the shark, and sees the red Totem Pole in its mouth) I’ve got it! (Grabs the Totem Pole)

Chris: And Dave is the captain of another team! One more person can be a captain!

(Scott is digging)

Scott: Darn it! I can’t find it!

Vice: Why are you searching through the dirty ground?

Scott: Trying to find the Totem Pole. What are you doing here?

Vice: I don’t know. I’ve nothing better to do.

Scott: You seem like a decent person. (Snickers) Alliance?

Vice: Hm... since you seem to be the only one who doesn’t talk about my money... sure.

(Vice and Scott shake hands)

(Carly walks by)

Carly: Hey, cuties.

Vice: I wish not to be called something so derogatory.

Scott: Thanks!

Carly: Sorry, I have to find that Totem Pole.

Trent: Scott! You just gave me an idea! (Starts digging, finds the black Totem Pole)

Chris: Trent finds the last Totem Pole.

Roxanne: Whatever.

Blainely: You better put me on a good team!

Courtney: Me too!

Chris: Trent is the captain of the Black Knights, Dave the Red Pirates, Sierra the Blue Ninjas, and Dawn the Green Sharks. I’ll be deciding your teams.

Cody: Put me on the team with the most ladies! Minus Sierra.

Gwen: I don’t really care.

Roxanne: Is it just me, or do we think alike?

Chris: All right, I’ve decided the teams! The Black Knights will be Trent, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Mike, Zoey, Roxanne, Katie, Sadie, Cody, and Tyler!

(The Black Knights all get in a group)

Cody: All right, I’m here with four hot chicks!

Eva: But there’s five on this team... wait a minute...

Katie: Which one’s the not hot one?

Roxanne: I don’t really care.

DJ: I like this team!

Tyler: Yeah! Go Black Knights!

Trent: I guess I like this team... if DUNCAN weren’t on it, I’d like it more!

Duncan: Same to you, Trent!

Mike: I don’t care. I’m with Zoey! But I guess I’d like it better if Cameron were here.

Chris: The Red Pirates will be Dave, Gwen, Geoff, Courtney, Jo, Owen, Cameron, Sam, Ezekiel, Lola, and Lindsay.

Dave: All bow down to Dave, the Master of Metal!

Gwen: We will NOT bow down. But we will do what you say.

Geoff: Who’s ready to PARTY?

Lindsay: I am!!! I LOVE parties!!!

Ezekiel: (Trying to get closer to Lola)  S-so, how a-are th-things, uh, yo?

Lola: (Blushing)  Uh, I don’t-- you know, I-- I...

Courtney: Stop with the lovebirds! We need to WIN!!!

Jo: What Courtney said!

Owen: I’m ready!!! Wait... Izzy and Noah aren’t on this team! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Cameron: Don’t worry, Owen!

Sam: We’ll be your friends!

Owen: YEAH!!! (Hugs Sam and Cameron REALLY tight)

Cameron: OW!!! You’re really c-crushing me!

Sam: Could you let us go?

Chris: The Blue Ninjas will be Sierra, Harold, Leshawna, Beth, Jerry, Scott, Bridgette, Noah, Staci, Justin, and Dakota.

Sierra: Noooooooooo!!! Cody’s not on my team!!! (Cries)

Scott: Just another team to--

Staci: YAH! And my great-great-great uncle invented paper! Before him, everyone wrote on their hands!

Scott: Elimin--

Staci: Yah! And my great-great grandmother invented mirrors! Before her, everyone had to look in bodies of water to look at themselves!

Dakota: Staci, will you SHUT UP?!

Scott: Thank you. As I was saying--

Noah: No, Scott. We know your tricks. You make one move that makes us lose, you’re going home.

Leshawna: What the sarcastic know-it-all says is TRUE!

Justin: So, ladies, anyone want some-

Bridgette: I have a boyfriend. I know you.

Jerry: Come on guys, let’s just, you know... be friends?

Chris: The Green Sharks will be Dawn, Izzy, Alejandro, Carly, B, Anne Maria, Brick, Vice, Heather, Blainely, and Lightning.

Blainely: So, this is what we need to do. First, we need to buckle down and get this team motivated. Then, we need to go all out there. Then, we need to win!

Brick: Sorry, I only listen to the team Captain!

Dawn: Which is me.

Vice: Why should I interact with you poor folk?

Lightning: Hey! I won one million dollars from last season! I am not poor! Sha-bam!

Izzy: So, what do we do first? Change our names? Dye our hair pink? Shout mean things at the the other teams? What?

Dawn: None of those. We must act on our own.

Heather: Well, here’s the worst team captain ever!

B: (Glares at Heather)

Heather: What do you want?

Anne Maria: Well, I don’t care, I agree with you, Heather! New captain!

Alejandro: Hello, ladies, anyone want some of Alejandro?

Carly: Oh, you know I do, you hot piece of eye candy.

Alejandro: See? I’ve already got myself a girl.

Carly: You look so amazing in the sunlight. (Winks) Heather: Hm...

Chris: As you previous competitors have experienced, and you new ones have seen before, there is a confessional. This time, it is placed over there. (Points to an outhouse like in Seasons 1 and 4)

Leshawna: Again?!

Lindsay: I love the confessional!

Ezekiel: (CONF)  First one in the confessional! I have winning on my mind! ...And Lola.

Jerry: (CONF)  The veterans are all so violent...

Sierra: (CONF)  WHY CAN’T I BE WITH YOU, CODY?!

Chris: Okay, the boys’ cabin is over (Points west) there, and the girls’ cabin is over (Points east) there. Go get in your cabins, and just hang out, do whatever you want. Tomorrow is when we begin COMPETING!

(All the contestants go into their cabins)

Vice: I can’t believe I have to share a cabin with--

Trent: Can it, Vice.

Duncan: I don’t care. This is going to be fun!

Noah: Please, Duncan, refrain from being yourself.

Mike: So who’s ready for this?

Sam: I am!

Harold: Same!

Staci: So girls, did I ever tell you about--

Heather: Yes, like about a million times!

Staci: No, it’s a different one this time.

Beth: I think I actually read about that one time, and it was actually false.

Katie: Can you believe it, Sadie? We’re back!

Sadie: I know!!!

Roxanne: It’s Tweedledumb and Tweedleidiot all over again.

Lindsay: Hey! Don’t call them by those names!

Roxanne: (Knowing Lindsay’s stupidity)  Who?

Lindsay: Uh...

(It becomes night time)

Chris: Well, now that the episode’s over, and we know who’s competing with who, what will happen in the very first episode of the new series, TOTAL! DRAMA! ENTER THE ISLAND!!!!