User:Rainbowderp01/Total Drama World Tour Exclusive Clips (Transcript)

~DJ's First Pet~

Chris: [voiceover] Ever wonder what happened to DJ's first pet?

DJ: Who's my little buddy getting a bath? Huh? Who's the cutey-doodles? Whoa! No! Vince!

[toilet flushes]

[weeks later transition]

DJ: Vince!

[alligator growls]

DJ: Vince?

Chris: Kinda gets ya, don't it?

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~Chef at Law~

Chef: Is your Total Drama World Tour official website being sabotaged by an annoying insider blogger claiming to have the real scoop? Do you wish their blogs could be crushed into legal pulp? Then scramble to the pan like this egg. Well then, you need me! Chef at Law. So come on, call me. I lose, you still pay. I win, you buy me dinner. That's Chef at Law. 1-800-LAW-CHEF. Or 1-800-BUT-KICK. No one makes a fool of me! No one. Gah!

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~Owen's Longest Fart~

Owen: [yawns]

[transition]

Owen: [snoring] [farts]

[transition]

Owen: [farts]

[transition]

Owen: [snoring] [mumbles] [giggles] Mommy. [prolonged fart]

[transition]

Owen: [prolonged fart]

[static]

[transition]

Owen: [gasps] Ah, ah! Who's there? [sniffs] Mm... bacon.

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~Secret Blogger Bonus~

Chef: So let me reiterate. I, Chef at Law, and the client I represent, demand the immediate termination of your Total Drama Secret Insider Information Blog of Uselessness and Stupidity, you little weasel.

Kid: [laughs] Stick to ruining food, Chef. No law says I can't block the truth! Keep trying to shut me down, Winky here gets it!

Chef: Mr. Tiddlywinkles! How'd you get him?

Kid: None of your business! Leave me alone, and you get him back.

Chef: You're a monster!

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~Nighty Night Chef~

Chris: Whoa. I didn't know this about him either!

Chef: Night, Sergeant Cuddly. Night, Officer Snuggle Bear. Night, Colonel Bowtie. Huh? Get out! Get out! [door slams]

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~Ask Chef Introduction~

Chef: Wanna know the secret ingredient in my famous breakfast porridge? Wanna know Chris' spending habits and strut his pants into it? Then go to Teletoon.com and ask Chef. You have any questions for me or not?! If not, get the heck out of my bathroom!

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~Ask Chef -- Smellu2's Question~

Chef: Smellu2 asks, "Who wins Total Drama World Tour?" Well, Smellu2, it's like this. The name of the winner is top secret information. And if I tell you, I'm gonna have to kill you! And since this is on the internet, I'm gonna have to kill about 1.5 million visitors to my Ask Chef site. Hmm. That's just too many dead people. So don't ask!

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~Ask Chef -- Antsypants99's Question~

Chef: Antsypants99 asks, "Did you go have to go to flight school to learn how to pilot the Total Drama Jumbo Jet?" Antsypants99, are you kidding me? Chris McLean is so damn cheap, he told me to go and Google "how to fly a plane"! Oh, and he made me do it on my lunch hour. So the next time you sign up to work on a reality show, read the fine print!

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~Ask Chef -- Cassie's Question~

Chef: Cassie asks, "Have you ever loved anyone?" Wow, Cassie. I'm really touched that you would care enough to ask such a thoughtful question. [sniffles] 'Scuse me, I'm... I'm getting choked up, heh. Not! Heh. Yes, I've loved someone. And the name is... me! Who could resist a face like this?

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~Ask Chef -- Ben's Question~

Chef: Ben from Ottawa asks, "Who is your favorite contestant?" Well Ben, I'll tell you. The only contestant I care about is the last one standing because they are the winner! Everyone else in my book is a loser. And I call the runner-up the first loser! That's right. I don't give a squat about losers, and you can take that to the bank.

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~Ask Chef -- Coolpawz's Question~

Chef: Coolpawz from Fredericton asks, "Why do you always cook food that probably sends the contestants to the hospital?" Well, Coolpawz, you try cooking with a greasy old kitchen with moldy food and see what you get! Gut rot and malaria, that's what you get. This ain't some five star resort, this is a game. And if you can't take the heat, get out of my kitchen! Thanks for your question.

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~Ask Chef -- 4odd9even's Question~

Chef: 4odd9even asks, "Hey Chef, what would you do with a million bucks?" Well, I'll tell you like this. I sure as heck wouldn't waste it on a cheese cellar like Owen, or a shiny gold-plated hot tub like Chris McLean. My mama didn't raise no dummy. I'd save it all for a rainy day. Maybe a sale on dresses.

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~Ask Chef -- Bookworm100's Question~

Chef: Bookworm100 from Edmonton asks, "What should I do if I'm really bored?" Well, Bookworm100, you could try hanging out with your friends. If Chris -- I mean, your friends -- are too busy, try building one out of uncooked pasta. Just don't take him out in the rain. [chuckles] Soggy.

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~Ask Chef -- Lyra's Question!

Chef: Lyra from Chilliwack asks "What's your favorite Total Drama couple? I'm a big Duncan and Courtney fan myself" Yes, Lyra. They're a lovely couple. What kind of question is that? Do you think I really give a squirrel's butt who hooks up with who on this show? Lemme answer that for you. I don't! [laughs]

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~Ask Chef -- Molly's question~

Chef: Molly from West Vancouver asks, "What's your biggest fear?" Molly, I eat fear for breakfast. What are you afraid of, ghosts? They don't exist. Vampires? Paint their face, wimps. I'm not afraid of a dang thing.

[click]

Chef: Hey! Who turned out the lights? Come on now, that's not funny. Chris? Anyone? Help!

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~Ask Chef -- Jo3113's Question~

Chef: Jo3113 from Val-Des-Monts asks, "How's it going? I wanted to know if Gwen could write to me. Thanks." Jo3113 from Val-Des-Monts, here's my answer. Do I look like Gwen to you?! What part of "Ask Chef" don't you understand?! Gwen says hi.

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