User:Rainbowderp01/Shawshank Ridonc-tion (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... Dwayne feared he'd lost Junior for good, and Stephanie tried to lose Ryan for good. Devin told Junior he's too young for Carrie, while Dwayne started to realize his little boy is becoming a little man. And after a detour to return their cursed Hawaiian lava rock, the Ice Dancers came in last. But it was a non-elimination round, so they're still in it. We're halfway through the race, and these eleven teams are halfway closer to one million dollars. I have no idea what will happen next, but we're about to find out. Right here on... The Ridonculous Race!

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: We're back in Zambezi National Park, where yesterday's winners are about to collect today's first tip.

Sanders: [aside] I hope our camera crew's in shape, because from hereon in, we're gonna double time it!

MacArthur: [aside] [grunts] Time to warm up the glutes.

[buzz, ding]

Sanders: We're going to Australia! Yes!

Don: Australia, home to the unique Sydney Opera House, Ayers Rock, and disturbingly cute koalas.

[koala growls]

Don: Teams must travel by bus to Zimbabwe's Harare International Airport to book their flight to Melbourne.

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Don: Once here, find this Don box and see what's up... [with accent] Doon underrr!

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[buzz, ding]

Sanders: I guess now we'll have to double-double time it!

MacArthur: Yeah, we're gonna fourth-able time it!

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MacArthur: Open up! Come on, man! What are you, mindless, or just lazy?

Don: More and more teams recieve their tip and get on the bus. But before they can leave, they'll have to wait for the last team to board.

[crowd cheering]

Josee: [intervew] The purple was too friendly. The black screams "Get out of our way!"

Jacques: [interview] And watch us with similar colors.

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Junior: Stick with me today. I don't want you getting lost again, okay?

Dwayne: Uh, what? D-- I wasn't the one got-- You were the guy who got-- [interview] For the record, I don't have a problem with directions. Heh heh. I have a problem following directions. Totally different. [chuckles] All just part of my ruggedly handsome charm. Oh. Uh, my doughy, middle-aged charm? I'll take it.

Emma: Go!

Owen and Noah: Run!

Chet and Lorenzo: Move it!

Dwayne: Hurry!

Don: [voiceover] All the teams are now aboard the same thirteen hour flight to Melbourne, Australia. Sleeping wold be beneficial, so we decided to give them something to worry about instead. [laughs]

[airhorn blares]

Don: [through PA] Attention teams! This is a boomerang! Find one attached to your travel tip, and you can use it at the next Don box to send another team back to repeat the last challenge.

Josee: I want one!

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Sanders: If we get a boomerang, we need to be smart and really--

MacArthur: Use it on the Ice Dancers.

Sanders: No, assess the situation and pick the team that we feel--

MacArthur: Or the Ice Dancers.

Sanders: Will you please let me finish--

MacArthur: Off the Ice Dancers with the boomerang? Totally.

Carrie: Hey. I'm going to tell him.

Kitty: What? For real, real?

Carrie: I can't hold it in any longer! I wrote it down and I'm gonna tell him!

Kitty: I am so proud of you. It's so brave to let someone know how you really feel.

Emma: Ugh. Okay, I'll tell Noah.

Kitty: [squeals]

Emma: After the race. After.

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Devin: Run!

MacArthur: Hustle!

Noah: Go, go, go!

Jacques: Ah!

[buzz, ding]

Carrie: Devin, I need to-- ah!

[buzz, ding]

Devin: Taxi! "Stop in at Geelong Maximum Security!"

Don: Geelong Prison closed in 1991, but during it's 146 years of operation, it was the most brutal and violent lockup on Earth. Now it's an extreme travel hot spot! As teams arrive, they'll be thrown into cells. Each cell is equipped with one of four methods of escape. Tunnels, trap doors, hidden tools, or bars. Once they break out of their cell, they're free to make their way to today's final Don box. Here on the Barwon River. Boomerangs can only be used here. After they pass this point. The boomerang expires. And, as a special bonus treat...

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Junior: "First team to today's chill zone gets to make a phone call home." Cool, we can call mom.

Dwayne: Oh, or better yet, order a pizza. [chuckles] [clears throat] Eh, b-but of course, you know, I'm joking. Ha ha, I love your mother just as much as pizza. M-More than! W-Way more than pizza. Heh heh.

[buzz, ding]

Josee: A boomerang! Yes! Oh!

Jacques: Ow... [aside] First, you get the gold.

Josee: [aside] Then you get the boomerang.

Jacques and Josee: [aside] And then you get the power!

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Devin: Aw, man. Traffic. Hey, driver, I'll give you a big tip if you pass these guys.

[tires squeal]

Carrie: So... Devin. I know that--

[rumbling]

Devin: Woohoohoo! Yeah! Pass these guys too! I love it!

Carrie: Ha. Speaking of love... um, I-- ah!

Devin: Whoo! Driver! Put on some racing music!

[banjo music]

Devin: Woohoohoo!

Carrie: [sighs] Maybe later.

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Sanders: If we win the phone call, I'd like to call my grandmother. She's quite old and her health--

MacArthur: I'd call my cat, Mr. Princess.

Sanders: Okay, but we only get one call, so...

MacArthur: We'll flip for it.

Sanders: My grandmother is sick. Your cat is a... is a cat! He won't even know that you called!

MacArthur: I'll know. Heads or tails?

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[tires screech]

Carrie: Thank you! That was very scary.

Devin: Yes!

Carrie: I have to tell Devin how I feel as soon as I can! If we win today and he calls Shelley, it could disrupt everything that's happening between us.

[handcuffs click]

Guard: Welcome to Geelong.

[jail door creaks]

Devin: Okay. You look for trap doors, I'll check for a loose bar.

[tires screech]

Dwayne: Oh, these gosh darn laces. I knew I should've worn slip ons.

[handcuffs click]

Junior: Hey! Ah!

Dwayne: Get your hands off my kid or I'll-- oof!

Don: [voiceover] As teams are cuffed and led into Geelong, most go peacefully. But others, not so much.

Chet and Lorenzo: [screaming]

MacArthur: [grunting]

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MacArthur: It wasn't personal. I mean, yeah, it was your face I punched in, but I still respect you as a fellowe officer of the law, 'cause you only cried a little. Super manly, dude!