User blog comment:Attackin/Total drama champions ep: 8 Mark takes the dive/@comment-28967746-20180120011757

Okay, this is gonna be a long one, so let me start off with the positives.

Positives:

Congrats Attackin! You made your first episode, and for being a first, it's very strong at that. It's nice to see other guest writers out there, willing to write an episode for these fantastic OC seasons.

Stepping up to to start up a seemingly dead season was a very bold move, and I cannot applaud you more for that. While Shadow has agreed to continue the season, you showed that you had the initiative to write this, and on such short notice.

And now we move into the...

Negatives:

Formatting. First of all, the format is very hard to read, and there are many instances of mispelled names, such as "Scarlet" instead of "Scarlett", and "Collet" instead of "Colette". There are a ton of letter that weren't capitalized, like Mooses and Flamingos in the team names, Total Drama Champions in multiple spots, general lack of sentences starting with caps, and other issues like that. Another thing that made this episode very hard to follow was lines of diolague and confessionals not spaced out on lines. There are no instances of bolding, which while isn't too important, grabs your attention and makes for an easier read. There are also many missing punctuation marks. The confessional style is very bad, looks very awkward, and doesn't stand out. "Lilly (Confessional)" sticks out better than "confessional Lilly", and saying static at the end feels weird.

The elimination. I do not like at all when votes are "rigged". It's just an excuse to eliminate a contestant that is well-liked for no apparent reason, other than "haha I rigged the votes". Jessica's elimination was way too random and out of place. There were better contestants to eliminate. Why not Angelina? Lilly? They had nothing going for them. What should've happened was: Jessica is the star of her team, much to the dismay of James. Literally everybody finds her useful in some manner. So what does James do? Starts an alliance to turn on her. Jessica slowly loses her momentum, and as soon as she feels too safe with everybody. and still loved, BOOM! The chair of survival is pulled from underneath her and she crumbles out of the game. This would be good for setting James up as an actual villain, a solid alliance, and an interesting plot with Jessica. (Also, for the voting table, was it all votes against Jessica? If not could you provide me with them.)

Amount of lines of dialogue, and dialogue. So I counted the amount (I know, sounds lame), and this may be a few off, but I counted only 64 lines of dialogue. This hardly felt like anything, considering that some of the lines are "who's jumping", "we choose collet", "i'm in", "he's evil", and "i guess I will". There is hardly any substance to this episode, and feels like most lines were just in the episode to make it look bigger. And when James has twice as many lines as literally everyone, there's a big problem. Half the cast clocks in at a measely three lines, some with two, some with four, one with six and some with eight. When you see characters talking three times and that's the end of them for the episode, it's really dissapointing. Most characters were either reduced to very general statements or shallow lines that would only be said because of their character. James loathes about "mrs. popular girl" like two million times, Victoria makes two generic statements, and Scarlett just yells at Collette. This makes for a very boring episode. But the biggest offender of boring lines...

Mark. This is easily the biggest waste of character potential in any OC season I've seen. Time and time again all I see is Mark associating himself as "being cool", and it got old in the first episode. Mark is such a creative and original idea. There is so much he could have going for him, but instead he is reduced to the one-dimensional annoying floater who will probably get eliminated next for no reason. Mark has literally no plots with anyone. He runs around preaching how cool he is and, what do you know, he gets lines back of "you wish!" Why doesn't he at least play a pawn in somebody's game, like Peter and Eli in Global Takedown, or have at least a minor arc with someone like Richard did with Agatha in Super Slamdown. And yes, I am aware of James in this episode with him, but I seriously don't even count this. It's just James throwing him out on the chopping block and him being deluded and thinking that James all the sudden likes and trusts him?

Fatima...?. Okay, I'm not really sure who Fatima is. Sorry Smarticle, but I never really read Talent. That is clearly my fault, and it does seem like a good season so I'll make sure to check it out when I can, but from what I read, she destroyed property, and that's about it. But I love a cameo from anyone, it's nice to see character's that are recognized by others, but what was the purpose of making her cameo? Like, she said about three things and then she was gone. Cameos should at least play a more significant role than that, it's just kinda random and out of place.

The title. This was a pretty bad one if I'm gonna be honest. "Mark Takes the Dive" does not role off the tounge very well, as good titles like "The Birdman of Alcatraz" have a certain ring to them. It's very bland. It just discribes what happens, Mark dives. Nothing else. Why not call it, "Reckless Diving" or something a little more catchy. It's the equivalent to calling Alpha's most recent episode, "Agatha fails the race" or something.

The challenge. And once again we have a challenge with Chris and Chef as hosts along with a cameo contestant, but this time with... diving...? Diving is really lame and boring as it is, but in Total Drama? Even the worst challenges are unique in some way, but this was soooooo boring. There were two jumps, and then the episode was over, like what even happened. There wasn't any much thought and effort put onto it and felt like a last minute suggestion.

Minor nitpicks. Slasher felt super OOC, and had literally nothing villainous about him. I would do a section about him, but he only had four lines, so there was nothing to do about him anyways. His lines were half about Mark, one about James, and one restating exactly what Dave said. Most contestants (ie Victoria, Lilly, Alec, Dave) had literally nothing going on with them. The elimination portion was super rushed and short.

OVERALL EPISODE:

This was a good episode for being your first. However, in comparison to other episodes, it just can't really compete. Littered with grammatical errors, rushed dialogue, lack of content, bad title, boring and short challenge, rigged vote, weird format, and not much drive to take risks. I am so happy that Attackin, decided to step up to the plate, but my biggest suggestion for you is: plan. I give this episode a 2/10.

Note: Well, if you got here, thanks for reading! This is not an attack on Attackin in any sort, and I'm sorry if I come off as rude. Please give me your thoughts on this. Disagree? Tell my why. Once again, thank you so much for reading this!