User:Rainbowderp01/The Sand Witch Project (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action... A girl with vision. Vision that took her past everyday thinking. But when the chips were down, and even when the chips came back up again, she was the only one who could rescue them. Searching for a cure for the disease afflicting her dearest friends. A challenge was won. A cure found. But will her betrayal... [bites food] [indistinct talking] Hey, what can I say? Gross disease movies make me crave a little corn. But it's time to put the snacks away, kiddies. Because after this totally terrifying episode, there won't be a stomach left unturned.

[fart]

Chris: Hold on to your buckets. It's time for some Total. Drama. Action!

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[ Theme song ]

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DJ: [snoring]

Owen: Izzy... do you have a B.L.T.? I'll also take a five.

[card shuffling]

Harold: [confessional] Izzy thinks she's so cool. But did she spend three whole entire summers at Magic Steve's Magic Camp? Allow me to demonstrate my mad magic skills by producing the Ace of Spades! Oh, ha. Hey, how did that get in there?

Lindsay: I can't believe you managed to steal these from lunch! [gulps] Yummers!

Beth: I call this the Egg Salad Firework! Drumroll!

[drumroll]

Beth: Owen! Stop stealing my sammies!

Owen: [mouth full] [laughing] What are you talking about?

Leshawna: [mouth full] You disgust me, Owen.

Heather: [mouth full] Yeah, what kind of pig are you? Mm.

Beth: You're all stealing them?

Justin: [mouth full] Chef's food has gotten so good. Mm-mm!

DJ: [snoring]

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[dream sequence]

[mouse squeaks]

[thunder cracks]

[psycho music]

[angelic music]

Chef: Alarm!

DJ: Yipe!

[ding]

Chef: [clapping slowly]

DJ: Maybe it's time to stop cheating. Being in this alliance with you, it makes me feel all kinds of wrong inside.

Chef: This is not about right or wrong, son. It's about you and me, winning that cool mil.

[dream sequence ends]

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Beth: This is fun, huh, bestie? Imagine if there was no challenge today.

Lindsay: Oh my gosh. We could totally just hang out and braid each other's hair. I would love that, bestie.

Heather: Some of us are trying to keep up our string to actually win the competition.

Lindsay: We don't think there is one today.

Heather: There better be. I am here to win a million dollars and the faster I eliminate you two pathetic, spineless followers, the better.

Lindsay: [confessional] You see those little bumps back there? Those are totally a spine. I am not a follower. Like at cheerleading, I'm right in the middle of the pyramid. And when all my sisters and I decide on something, like where to go shopping or whatevs, I'm always the third vote. That's not... oh. Well, I can change! UH, if that;s okay with you guys.

Chris: Attention all Total Drama victims! Please meet me in the northeast corner of the Studio Palooza! Bring lozenges!

Beth: [gulps]

Chris: The screaming's gonna hurt.

Beth: There is a challenge. Just promise we can still do the hair braiding?

Lindsay: I think I'll do a French.

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Heather: We walk all the way over here and Lieutenant Slick can't even be bothered to show up?

Justin: Maybe he;s racked up too much overtime figuring out new ways to torture us.

Chris: Whoa!

[shing]

[splat]

[everyone but Beth screams]

Beth: [wheezy scream]

Justin: Huh. Guess the producers don't like paying overtime.

Chris: I'm worth every dime.

Duncan: Aw man. I was just gonna call dibs on your boat.

Chris: It's the magic of cinema, boys and girls! I'm absolutely, perfectly, Chrisally fine. Wanna see how its done?

Everyone: No!

Chris: Our cracker-jack effects team seals fake blood into a thin membrane of plastic.

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Chris: Called a squib. This little baby bursts on impact. An old fashion optical illusion helps sell that I've been impaled.

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Duncan: Can we just get on with this?

Lindsay: I can't believe you're so unscarable! You didn't even scream!

Beth: I did on the inside. I just can't do it on the outside.

Lindsay: Huh?

Beth: When I was ten, and they were doing my tonsillectomy, there was a freak accident and the doctor's earring fell in my throat. Can't scream worth a darn.

Lindsay: Get out!

Beth: Serious.

Chris: Time for today's totally terrifying, blood-curdling horror movie challenge! To figure out which team gets which challenge, a scream-off! Think of every great horror movie you've ever seen.

Izzy: Ha. [gasps] Oh my gosh, you guys. Did you see that one with the possessed rug that learns to walk and smother cats? Or did I make that up?

Chris: All horror movies have one thing in common. Fantastic screaming from actors. And the killers who snuff them. Each team, pick a serial killer. The rest of you will be the screamers. If your serial killer can make you scream the loudest, your team wins!

[chainsaw transition]

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Heather: We have to pick Duncan, of course. Have you ever seen someone so serial killery?

Harold: I'm terrified of him on a daily basis.

Leshawna: Plus, he nailed the other acting challenges.

Chef: DJ's gotta do it!

Harold: But it's the first time our team's ever agreed on anything!

Chef: DJ is doing it.

Duncan: Uh, listen, Chef. Maybe you can stick to your area of expertise with the sandwiches, and I'll stick to mine. Ah...

Chef: Do you like having your arms attached to your torso?

Duncan: [confessional] Arms are good. They throw things, feed you things, there's something to put in your sleeves. And if there's one thing I learned in home ec class, always listen to the dude with the knives.

[bones cracking]

[crash]

Leshawna: Since when does Chef interfere in challenges? Smells kinda funny to me.

Harold: Oh, that's me. Sorry. I was saving them for later.

Justin: You guys gotta let me be the killer! The mask offers good protection for my beautiful face!

Izzy: Okay, I am such the better scarer. My own dog is terrified of me, okay?

Owen: But you're cute as a bug in a rug!

Lindsay: Hey, you guys? Um, Beth?

Justin: Later, Lindsay. I wanna be the killer, okay? And that's it.

Izzy: But look at my scary face! [babbles]

Owen: D'aw, that's not scary, that's adorable.

Izzy: [growls]

Owen: This is a scary face.

Lindsay: Beth is going to be our serial killer and that is that! Beth's a non-screamer. We have to have her as the killer or we're going down! [confessional] Can I just tell you that felt so delicious! It was almost better than being pretty. Well, almost.

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