User:Rainbowderp01/Got Venom (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... we saw some serious head games, and headier games. And even headier games. Literally. And the headiest of all games came when the Haters scored the Boomerang and used it on... themselves. Ha! Take that, yourselves! But in the end, love was in the air. And so was hate. [shudders] Did it just get cold in here? Oh, right. We're still in the Arctic. Well now it's time to heat things up. This is The Ridonculous Race.

[ding]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[ Theme song ]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Don: Last week, the Surfers won, which means they are the first to hit the Don box.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Geoff: Don't know how I survived the cold dressed like this. I mean, I could cut through ice with my nipples right now.

Brody: We survived 'cause we're awesome! [aside] I don't think that win would've happened without the Ice Dancers.

Geoff: [aside] They said a lot of harshness. Harshness we needed to hear. They're good peeps. This is for them.

Brody: [aside] Dude! That is like, the second best nipple carving you ever did.

Josee: [interview] I will destroy them!

Jacques: [interview] Easy, Josee! It was our own fault for trying to play mind games with the Surfers. They don't have minds to play with.

Stephanie: [interview] Did I boomerang my own team? Yes. But it was Ryan's fault.

Ryan: [interview] Yes, Stephanie.

Stephanie: [interview] You had it coming!

Ryan: [interview] Yes, Stephanie.

Stephanie: [interview] Mr. I'm-King-of-the-Ring-Toss.

Ryan: [interview] Yes, Stephani--

Stephanie: [interview] [screams]

Ryan: [interview] I finally figured out how to one-up Stephanie. Just agree with everything.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[buzz, ding]

Brody: We're flying to... Flores, Indonesia!

Geoff: [shudders] I hope it's warm.

Don: Oh, it is. Flores, Indonesia is packed with beautiful empty beaches, majestic mountain ranges, and ominously silent jungles. Teams must fly to Flores, then take taxis to the Don box in this village. How do the locals keep tourists away from this island paradise? Nobody knows. But, it might have something to do with the komodo dragon problem.

[komodo dragons roar]

Don: Teams will depart on three different cargo planes. Each taking off an hour apart based on when they arrived at the chill zone. So the frontrunners have a real advantage. Whoa!

[tires popping]

Don: Apparently, the narwhals are still upset about our ring toss game. Anyway, same idea but with two planes.

[tires popping]

Don: Everyone on the last plane! Right now, move, move, move! Hurry!

[all clamoring]

Josee: This is outrageous! We didn't take silver just to be stuck on a plane with losers! Ah! Ah!

Jacques: Perhaps we should join them.

Josee: I concur. [sighs]

Jacques: [screaming]

[jets roar]

Don: So it's an eight-way tie as our teams fly to sunny Indonesia, a narwhal-free country.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[all clamoring]

Josee: Bye-bye! See you at the finish line!

Jacques and Josee: [scream]

Devin: Taxi!

[cars zooming]

Owen: We need a taxi!

Emma: Hey, Noah! Over here!

Kitty: [interview] I'm so proud of Emma liking Noah, but I would also like to win a million bucks. Know what I mean?

Noah: Just look at that. Sapphire blue water, hot steamy jungles. I wish it were just the two of us.

Emma: Uh, Noah. We're not dating 'til after the race, remember?

Noah: I know. I was talking to Owen.

Emma: [laughs] You're too funny.

Noah: [interview] Why am I smiling all the time even though I hate people that do that? Because this race has become a win-win situation. The second that I or Emma get booted, I get to date the hottest girl alive. So if we win the race, I win. And if we get eliminated, I still win! Heck, I hope we get eliminated.

Owen: [interview] Ha, ha, right on! Wait, why did I high five that?

[tires squeal]

Kitty: Dragon crossing? Ha! I gotta get a selfie with this!

Owen: Ah!

[komodo dragon snarls]

Owen: OMG, that is terrifying!

Kitty: Uh, at least we're safe in here.

[clunk]

Kitty, Noah, and Owen: Ah!

Emma: Drive, drive! Run it over!

[tires squeal]

Owen: This place is crazy!

Noah: Relax, I've smelt your farts for many years. If anything, those dragons should be afraid of you.

Emma: [laughs]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Noah: Uh... So, who wants to be first?

Brody: Aw, just honk, dude, and it'll scatter.

[horn honks]

[komodo dragon snarls and roars]

Brody: See? Told ya.

[buzz, ding]

Geoff: It's an All In. Uh... "How to Milk Your Dragon." Whoa, we have to do what?

Don: That's right. Just when you thought these beasts were harmless, it turns out their saliva is loaded with venom.

[komodo dragon barks]

Don: Teams must collect one vile of komodo drool and hand it to this kid to get their next tip.

[komodo dragon snarls]

Don: Ah! That said, try not to get bitten. In case you do, side effects may include headache, dizziness, and being eaten by a komodo dragon.

[komodo dragon snarls]

Don: Ah!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Owen: Isn't this a little dangerous?

Devin: Danger? Ha! We all die eventually.

Ennui: We should hang out more.

Carrie: [aside] Okay, if Devin ends up going goth, I am not going goth for him! [sighs] Yes, I would.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Kitty: Hey, so I know you're in a happy place, but can we do this one on our own, like, without Owen and Noah?

Emma: Why? They've always helped us.

Kitty: Yeah, past tense. But the PDA is starting to throw off our game.

Emma: [scoffs] You're exaggerating.

Noah: I don't wanna take sides, but Kitty might have a point.

Emma: Fine. Just five more minutes.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Brody: [calling out] Come on, boy. Ha. Here drooly, drooly.

Geoff: Dude, watch out. We don't know how far they can spew fire.

Brody: Oh, yeah. Good call, yo.

Geoff: [aside] The numero uno safety concerno with any dragono, is fire breath.

Brody: [aside] But before we score any dragon venom, we gotta put out its flame.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Ryan: Here, all we gotta do is toss one a mango, let it chow down, then take the pit when it's done. It'll be soaked with venom.

Stephanie: Sure, if they even like mangoes. [kissing] Hey, buddy. You hungry? [gasps] They do like mangoes! I was right!

Ryan: [groans]

Stephanie: [kissing]

[komodo dragon growls]

Stephanie: Ah! Oh, no, it likes me! [screams]

Ryan: Can't imagine why.