User:Rainbowderp01/African Lying Safari (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama World Tour... Thanks, China! We had a blast. Just not the kind associated with fun, especially for Cody, who found himself in a love potion-induced semi-coma, courtesy of his wife, Sierra. And since the show is still short on cashola, we had a two-for-one sale on losers. One of whom was assisted by a certain repeat offender. We're down to the final five! Who won't make the final four, and how will I punish Chef for helping someone cheat? Again. Find out right now on Total. Drama. World Tour!

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[ Theme song ]

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Duncan: [whistling]

Alejandro: Smiling? Whistling? This is the happiest I've ever seen you.

Duncan: What can I say? It's like all of my problems were shoved out of a plane. Speaking of failed romance...

Heather and Alejandro: [gasp]

Duncan: You want me to hit the common area so you two lovebirds can start building your nest together?

Heather and Alejandro: Yeah, right. As if. Stop it!

Duncan: Blaineley was right!

Heather and Alejandro: [gasp]

Duncan: You two are so lame for each other!

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Cody: [groans]

Sierra: Thank you, sweetie. It feels like silk, too. Heh. Now you just relax while I mix you some soothing tea.

Cody: [groans]

Sierra: Aw... I love you too. [confessional] Now that Cody's drinking the love potion tea instead of me, it's finally working! He's already weak in the knees around me. A few more cups, and he'll be the perfect husband. [squeals] I love saying that!

Cody: I feel like a wet noodle in a blender. [groans]

Sierra: Don't worry. This will have you up and running in no time.

Cody: [gulping] Huh?

[polar bear grunts]

Cody: Ahh... ahh!

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[insect noises]

Heather, Alejandro, and Duncan: [laughing]

Duncan: Nice dress!

Chris: It's traditional Maasai warrior garb, and it came with this.

Duncan: Whoa! Watch it!

Chris: Trust me, that's the least dangerous thing that'll happen to you today. Welcome to beautiful Tanzania, home of the Serengeti plains, and over seventy different kinds of animals that can kill you.

[cans rattling]

Chris: What is that noise?

Sierra: Sorry we're late, heh.

Chris: What's with the cans?

Sierra: Oh. I didn't have time to finish the "Just Married" banner. [chuckles] You like?

Chris: Very "walking dinner bell for lions". You okay in there, Cody?

Cody: [gibberish]

Chris: Pure poetry, guy. I can see married life is doing you well.

Sierra: Due to the temporarily weakened condition of my husband, [giggles] I just love saying that. I'll play for the both of us.

Chris: Okay, challenge time!

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Chris: Part one combines two of Africa's most popular sports, soccer and cricket. I call it "Sock It to Me"! The "me" being you, of course.

Heather: Um, is Chef expecting a blizzard?

Chris: Behold! The Penalty Parka! Plus pants. Created specifically to help people sweat out their cheating ways. Looking hot, Chef!

SIerra: [gasps]

[whack]

Chris: Each player must run one at a time from the starting line to that pile of African Safu Plums. Grab as many as you can carry, and run back. And you'll be doing all of this while your fellow competitors pummel you with soccer balls.

Duncan: [sarcastically] Ooh, pummeled by a soccer ball, how painful! Oof! [screams]

Chris: You were saying? Next, take the plums you've brought back and whack 'em with the cricket bat to smash those gourds open. Like this.

[whack]

Chef: [grunts]

Chris: Whoever cracks their gourd open first wins a reward that will be muy helpful in the next challenge. Now, positions, people. Wifey, you're up first. Kickers, get ready.

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Sierra: Let's do this.

Chris: Ready, steady, Serengeti!

[whistle blows]

Sierra: [panting] Is that all you got?! Ha!

[whacking]

[cans rattling]

Sierra: Victory is ours! Ahh! Whoa!

Chris: Awesome! Oh, Duncan. Top that.

[whistle blows]

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[ball whirring]

[whack]

Duncan: I told you soccer's a wimpy s-- ah!

Heather and Alejandro: Yes! Ugh!

Chris: Heather, your go!

[whistle blows]

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Heather: I knew he wouldn't kick a ball at his crush.

[whirring]

Heather: What the? Ow!

Chris: Whoa! Harsh, dude. But hilarious.

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Chris: And then there was one. Bring it on, Alejandro!

[whistle blows]

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Duncan: [grunts]

Heather: [grunts]

Sierra: Wha!

Cody: [grunts]

Alejandro: [confessional] My brother Carlos is a professional soccer player.

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Chris: Remember, first person to smash through gets the advantage. And, go!

[whacking]

Chef: [grunts]

Chris: Seems like the universe is none too pleased with your meddling either, Chef.

[whack]

[crack]

Duncan: Hey, I'm used to smashing things with the bat. No middle man.

Chris: Unlike the D-Man, Alejandro's girlfriend is a batting fiend!

Alejandro: Ah!

Chris: Oh yeah, they're meant for each other.

Alejandro and Heather: Shut up, Chris.

Alejandro: Okay, this is ridiculous.

Heather: [grunts]

[crack]

Chris: And the winner of our first challenge is Heather!

Heather: Yes! Batter, batter, swing, batter!

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Chris: The rest of you have ten seconds left to crack your gourd. And trust me, you want what's inside.

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[whack]

[crack]

[crack]

Duncan: [sighs] Feels good.

Sierra: Last one. Here goes.

Chef: [grunts]

Chris: Broken, but not a gourd. No success for Cody or Sierra will make it much harder for them to deal... with this!

Ezekiel: [growls]

Duncan: Uh, shouldn't we be running right now?

Chris: Yes, you should be scared! Part two of our challenge is a genuine African safari.