User:Rainbowderp01/None Down, Eighteen To Go - Part 2 (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... eighteen teams started a race around the world. After a lot of running, waiting, even more running, confronting fears, and pushing themselves further than I thought possible, everyone reached the airport and booked themselves on three different flights to Morocco. Flight number one with six teams aboard has already departed.

Owen: [giggles]

Don: The next six teams are on flight number two, which is about to take off. Meanwhile, the Goths, LARPers, Adversity Twins, Surfer Dudes, Step Brothers and Tennis Rivals' flight will not be departing for another hour. Will one of these teams suffer another reality show humiliation and get kicked off first? Time to find out. This is... The Ridonculous Race.

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: Twelve teams are already on their way to Morocco. Six are still at the airport, waiting anxiously.

Mickey: Sanitizer?

Jay: No need. I made a point of not touching anything. Juice?

Jay and Mickey: Ah!

Leonard: Greetings, gentleman! What say you to an almagamation of adversaries? A weaving of wizards and doppelgangers to rule them all?

Jay: Ah! I'm allergic to confetti!

Mickey: Jay! Your calamine lotion!

Chet: Your plan won't work, mom! We're not gonna become friends, because Lorenzo is a poohead, that's why! Can't you just divorce his dad?!

Lorenzo: Hey, is that my dad?

Chet: No, my mom!

Lorenzo: Dad! You gotta divorce Chet's mom!

Chet: Quit it! Knock it off!

Lorenzo and Chet: [grunting]

Chet: Mom!

Lorenzo: Dad!

Leonard: Salutations! We wish to propose an unstoppable joining of alchemy and alibaster, to vanquish those who dare to cross us. Surely you shall not say nay.

Ennui and Crimson: [sigh]

Leonard: Come on, Tammy. Go easy on that. We only got the one bag. [interview] Tammy and I first met in ninth grade. And we were immediately very close.

Tammy: [interview] We were stuffed into the same locker.

Leonard: [interview] And a friendship was formed as we calmly ate our lunches and waited for the janitor to locate the bolt cutters.

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Don: Morocco. Originally named Italy until it was discovered there already was an Italy. Home to scorchingly hot foods, as well as scorchingly hot deserts. Flight number one has just landed. Now the teams need to find the Don box, and collect their next travel tip.

Dwayne: Hurry!

Carrie: Run!

[buzz, ding]

Jacques: "The Spice is Right" [gasps] It's an All In!

Don: An All In requires that both team members take part in the challenge. In this case, teams must make their way to Yusef's Spice Kiosk and choose five spices from the bountiful array. Some are-- ow! Some are sweet, but some are so blisteringly hot, they'll turn your tummy into a volcano of pain.

Devin: It says "Pick five spices from the kiosk. Ideally cumin, cinammon...

Dwayne: Paprika, saffron, and ginger..

Owen: To recieve your next travel tip.

[all talking over each other]

[car doors close]

[ding]

[tires squeal]

Owen: Taxi!

Dwayne: [chuckles] See that, huh? Right into a taxi and headed for Spice Town! We're doing great, pal. Yeah!

Junior: Ugh...

Dwayne: [interview] I'm Dwayne. This is Dwayne Jr.

Junior: [interview] They already know that.

Dwayne: [interview] Uh, we're, we're a father and son team.

Junior: [interview] They know that too, dad.

Dwayne: [interview] Well, we're gonna win this thing. Bet they didn't know that, huh? Ha ha, news flash! [imitates news ticker] "Just in, Father and Son team win the million!" [imitates cheering]

Stephanie: I know a lot about spices. I eat them in restaurants.

Ryan: She does. You do. And I love that you know about them.

Stephanie: [gasps] I love how you love that!

Ryan and Stephanie: [kissing]

Owen: Even after Total Drama World Tour, I'm still kinda scared of flying. So, his name's Beary. [stifled laugh] Get it?

Noah: [unenthusiastically] Because he's a bear.

Owen: Yeah! [laughs] Ah, he keeps me calm when I fly. Noah doesn't like him, but he likes Noah. [imitating bear] "Oh yes I do!"

Don: [voiceover] Meanwhile, the teams on flight number two prepare for cold-hearted battle.

Jen: Oh, I'd look so good in that.

Tom: [snoring]

[rubber squeaking]

Rock: Spud and I have never been on a plane before. Not scared, though. I've seen lots of planes on TV.

Spud: Uh... oh yeah, I love that cartoon.

Don: [voiceover] Some of the teams from flight one have reached the spice kiosk.

MacArthur: These aren't labelled. Hey, why aren't the labelled?

Carrie: It's this one! This is cinammon! This is cinammon! This is cinammon!

Devin: [interview] Cinnamon, cinnamon, cinnamon, cinnamon!

Devin and Carrie: [interview] [laughing]

Carrie: [interview] You totally would've missed it, homie.

Devin: [interview] Ha ha. We call each other homie. And as if I would've missed it.

Carrie: [interview] I'm the one who lives for cinammon lattes.

Devin: [interview] Yeah, which you constantly spill on me.

Carrie: [interview] [giggles] Fair enough. I'll never doubt your ability to detect cinammon again.

Stephanie: [sniffs] Wait. That's cumin. Yes, uh... no. No. Wait! Yes! No! Yes! Scoop it!

[scooping and pouring]

Jacques: That's five.

Don: [voiceover] After collecting five spices, the teams get their next travel tip from Yusef.

Jacques: Ugh. We have to ride to a restaurant in the desert. On a camel.

[spit]

Sanders: Is there a restaurant around here? [slowly and loudly] A rest-au-rant! We... looking... for eat-- ah, whoa!

MacArthur: Easy, Sanders. He's not deaf, he just speaks a different language. Sorry about that. [slowly and loudly] I am sorry! Apologisio! You understand?

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Carrie: Ugh, gross. Man, do these camels stink.

MacArthur: [sniffs] Ugh. Uh, she's right! It's, uh, it's the camels!

Don: [voiceover] As the first teams head off into the desert, flight number two arrives in Morocco.

[buzz, ding]

[tires squeal]

Taylor: Taxi! Hurry up, mom!

Don: [voiceover] Meanwhile, flight number three is finally in the air. And teams discuss some strategy.

Geoff: If you try with a higher arc, you're boss.

Brody: I won't let you down, dude.

Gerry and Pete: [snoring]

Brody: Score!

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Owen: Um... I, uh... Hmm... [interview] Picking spices wasn't easy. But I didn't panic. [real time] Why do you all look the same?! [screaming]

Dwayne: [interview] It's not a man's job to know spices. In ancient times, women were the spice collectors and men were the hunters. [chuckles] Ah, those were the days. Yep, man had the power and--

Junior: [interview] You know mom's gonna see this on TV, right?

Dwayne: [interview] And uh, times have changed. Ha ha ha, yay.

Junior: Oh, no, the other teams are coming. We're gonna lose our lead!

Dwayne: Uh, let's just pick out any five.

Noah: Good plan. Just give us the five closest to you. Come on, man, snap to it! My teammate will eat anything. I once saw him chow down on half a shower curtain.

Owen: There were pictures of cupcakes on it.