User blog:KarpToEndAllKarps/Total Drama: Misfit Mayhem Episode 1

The sun rose on a scenic and beautiful island. The birds were singing, the sky was blue, and a cruise ship carrying 16 new contestants was approaching. Chris cleared his throat, and the camera focused on him. “Welcome to a new season of Total Drama. This time, 16 misfits will battle it out for the ultimate prize of…” Chris hesitated. “Well, we don’t know yet. I’ll get into that later. For now, let’s introduce our contestants!” ( author’s note: you can read all of the character bios Here) Chris waited a few moments for the boat. “On Team 1, Rick, Brutus, Bianca, Luna, Dennis, Matthew, and Alexis. Team 2 has Jason, Lil, Thomas, Tistan, Mary, Alice, John, and Joanne.” John looked around at the island, then at Chris. “Hey, this island is so much nicer than previous seasons. What gives?” Chris looked agitated. “Well apparently  the old living conditions had ‘numerous health code violations’ and Chef Hatchet’s food was ‘hazardous’, so we had to upgrade the island. Which brings me to my next point;” He gestured to his surroundings. “Welcome to crotte de chien, which is French for… I don’t know. Something cool, probably. Follow me and I’ll lead you to the challenge area.” The contestants followed Chris through a scenic forest to a mountain range. In front of the mountain was a pile of mechanical parts. “First, before we get into the challenge, you guys must decide on a team name.” 5 minutes and many muttered words later, each team had come up with a name. Team 1 decided on the Streaking Arrows, while Team 2 decided on the Soaring Eagles. Chris cleared his throat. “For your first challenge, you will build something to help you get one teammate of your choice up this mountain. Whichever item impresses me more gets a serious advantage in climbing the mountain. Any questions?” Multiple people rose their hands. “Good. GO!”

Dennis dashed to the parts and started analyzing the pile. “If I use that… I’ve got it.” He started putting things together.

Conf: Dennis looked comfortable. “I’ve always had a thing for machines. At home, I have these awesome robots that do everything for me. I haven’t cleaned my room in 9 years.”

The Soaring Eagles were having significantly less luck. Everyone went to the pile, but nobody really knew what to do. With nothing to do, Alice and Joanne started talking. Eventually, a few members started putting things together, but in the end they had an incomprehensible pile of trash when Chris called time.

Dennis held up his creation: a pressurised grappling gun, just like in the movies. He demonstrated by climbing a small boulder. Chris applauded. “Very impressive! Let’s see what team Eagle has!” Nobody spoke up for a few moments,  until Thomas opened his fat mouth. “Well, this pile of utter garbage has the ability to make us look dumb, but I’m not sure how that scales the mountain.” Chris gestured to the Arrows. “I guess that makes the winner obvious. As your reward, you choose who to send up the mountain. As for you-” He turned to face the Eagles. “Thomas,  why don’t you go up? First person to reach the top wins. Arrows, who will you send?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Conf: Thomas looked kind of worried. “If we lose this challenge, I’m definitely going home tonight.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Rick saw an opportunity. “I’ve done quite a bit of rock climbing, I can go.” None of his comrades disagreed, and the race was underway.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Rick had a strong lead to start with. His superior athleticism and the grappling gun got him pretty high up, and he decided to take a break behind a rock.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Out of his teammates’ view, he cracked open the gun and pulled out a part, pocketing it.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">At this point, Thomas was close to catching him. Rick shot the gun, latched it upon a rock, and was being pulled up when the machine broke and he fell. “Ah! I think I broke my spine. I can’t move!” Thomas pulled himself closer to the finish line. “Sucks for you!” He reached the finish line with little contention and won the challenge for the Eagles. They had immunity, and the Arrows were sending someone home.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Chris got a helicopter and airlifted Rick, who had no serious injuries.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Conf: Rick laughed. “It was that easy to get rid of Dennis? This show is gonna be a cakewalk.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Rick was dropped next to the other losers. “Nice grapple gun, idiot. It lost us the challenge and nearly got me killed!” Dennis was perplexed. “Hand me the gun.” Rick gave it, and Dennis peeked inside. “A part’s missing. Someone must have taken it out.” Rick glared. “No, <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">you <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">can’t design for sh-”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Luna interrupted. “Turn out your pockets.” Rick stared. “Why?” Luna stared blankly. “Turn them out.” Rick reluctantly did as she asked, revealing the missing part. Dennis was shocked. “You <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">threw <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">the challenge!?” Rick spoke up, and people took sides.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Later on at the campfire ceremony, Chris was once again handing out marshmallows. The Eagles had decided to watch. “If you receive one you’re safe, if you don’t you go, never come back, blah blah. First marshmallows goes to Mary, Brutus, Alice, Bianca, and Alexis, all with zero votes against them.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Luna, with one vote against her;” She caught her marshmallow elegantly. “And the last marshmallow goes to… Dennis, with zero votes! Rick, you’re gone.” Rick tried to act indifferent (and failed). “Pff… losing the mil is no big deal. I don-” Chris interrupted. “Actually, the prize depends on how much money the show makes this season.” Rick winced. “And how much would that be?” John spoke up from the peanut gallery. “Total Drama grosses an average of 60 million dollars, and the most recent season made over 80 million.” Rick winced harder. John didn’t stop. “Also, the trend is that each season makes more money than the last, meaning this season could make as much as 90 million dollars.” Rick no longer had a face, rather a shivering ball of cringing shame. Chris interjected. “Hold that pose:” he pulled out a smart phone and snapped a pic. “Ha! Priceless.” Rick turned away. “Just put me on the stupid boat or whatever.” Chris chuckled. “Sure. Just put these on.” Chris held out a helmet and a pair of goggles. “Wh- oh no.” The show cut to Rick in the Cannon of Shame. Chris sighed with nostalgia. “I missed this cannon. Any last words?” Rick opened his mouth before flying out of the cannon. “Never gets old.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">The camera cut to Luna walking back to the cabins when she’s approached by Dennis. “H-hey! Luna, was it? I j-just wanted to thank you. If not for you, I’d be the one getting shot out of a cannon.” He gave an awkward laugh. Luna nodded in a silent acknowledgment.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Conf: Dennis shrugged. “Better than last time I talked to a girl.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">The camera cut to Chris. “We’ve got 15 teenagers on an island about to get their world rocked. Want to see how? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Misfit Mayhem!

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