User:Rainbowderp01/TDWT Aftermath II: Revenge of the Telethon (Transcript)

[Aftermath theme]

[thud]

Lindsay: [descending scream]

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DJ: [screaming]

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Leshawna: This is not the way Leshawna is leaving this world!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

[ Theme song ]

_________________________________________________________________________________________

[Aftermath theme]

[audience cheers]

Geoff: Good evening! I'm Geoff, and this is my most excellent co-host, Bridgette.

Bridgette: And we're coming to you live because we need your help to raise money for a seriously-worthy cause.

Geoff: I know what you're thinking. "Huh?" O-Or maybe you're thinking "What?" Either way, think back to the last episode, when the Total Drama plane crash landed in Jamaica! A tragedy.

Bridgette: One that could've been averted if only they'd had more gas. But our host, sadly, had blown the show's budget on decorating his personal quarters.

Geoff: Hey, I get why Chris couldn't resist the gold-lined hot tub. Unless we raise more dough for fuel, our friends could be stranded in Jamaica forever.

[audience gasps]

Bridgette: Total Drama could be cancelled! We could be cancelled too! Which is why tonight, we're bringing you...

Geoff: Total Drama: The Telethon!

Bridgette: The phone lines are open, so please, for the love of Total Drama, call now and donate.

[audience cheers]

Bridgette: Please welcome our first special guests, The Drama Brothers!

Katie, Sadie, and Beth: [squeal]

[Bridgette]

This show you need to save

This show, you gotta tell

This show

That you care

[Geoff]

Jamaica, they're trapped down in

Jamaica, they can't even ja-party

It's so unfair

[Bridgette]

You gotta help now, we're on the brink

[Geoff]

The crew gets fired if this ship sinks

[Bridgette]

So make a difference is their lives

[Geoff and Bridgette]

Give us cash or this show dies

[Bridgette]

Save this show, Total Drama

[Geoff]

Save this show, you know you wanna

[Geoff and Bridgette]

Save the show that you love

[Bridgette]

Save this show, Total Drama

[Geoff]

Save this show, so call the number

[Geoff and Bridgette]

Save the show with love

And five hundred thousand dollars

Geoff: Save the show, baby. Just give it some dough. Give it some love and some dough.

[audience cheers]

Blaineley: That's right. You need to give us five hundred thousand dollars in the next half hour. Hi, I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran. And I'm your co-host.

Bridgette: I'm sorry, I thought you were the roving reporter?

[audience gasps]

Blaineley: I'm thrilled to be here tonight, co-hosting with Geoff and Bridgette.

Bridgette: [hushed] I thought she was going back to her old job at Celebrity Manhunt.

Geoff: [hushed] She tried. They said no.

Blaineley: I'll keep you posted on the total as your calls and your cash pour in. This is the number. Call now. We have gifts.

Bridgette: For a donation of just twenty-five dollars, you'll get a commemorative box of delicious and nutritious Yummy Happy Go Time Fish Tails. [quickly] Strictly evaporated, do not eat in all legal provinces, keep out of reach of children.

[Total Drama theme plays]

Geoff: And for fifty bucks, you'll get a special commemorative Total Drama T-shirt! Sure, it looks like a plain tee. But when you get it wet, oh, it's a wet tee!

Blaineley: If you get a busy signal, keep trying! You'll get through eventually.

Geoff: If loyal viewers like you don't start donating pronto, everyone here is gonna get canned. And for the gang in Jamaica, the nightmare truly begins.

Blaineley: Our goal tonight is five hundred thousand dollars. And thanks to your donations, so far, we've raised a grand total of...

[ding]

Blaineley: Nothing?

Geoff: Oh, come on!

Bridgette: Let's welcome our first guest and encourage her fans to call in.

Geoff: Good idea. She didn't recognize her own boyfriend for six episodes and she loves to be called "Her Hotness", it's Lindsay!

Bridgette: Hi, Lindsay. Tell us about the gift you brought for those who donate in your name.

Lindsay: I was supposed to bring presents? Ooh, lip gloss!

Geoff: That's right. For a donation of one hundred dollars, you'll receive one of the remaining four hundred tubes of lip gloss Lindsay brought to wear this season. Supplies are vaguely limited, so call now.

[phones ringing]

Geoff: Look at the phones. Lindsay's got a lot of fans.

Blaineley: Yeah, Katie and Sadie are talking to each other, and Harold is checking on movie times.

Harold: Alien Bonsai 3 is playing around the corner.

Blaineley: Which means our new fundraising total is... two hundred and three dollars. And two hundred of that came from Harold's mom in exchange for his promise to clean the garage.

Harold: I'm very thorough.

Geoff: Extortion? Nice one, bro. But we've got a long way to go, people. Come on, you guys. I need this show. I mean, without it, I'm just an open-shirted, chillaxer in a suit-and-tie world.

Bridgette: Maybe Harold's on to something. Would anybody like to see an episode of Total Drama Fugitives?

[audience cheers]

Bridgette: If you're interested, call now. We won't show you anymore until we got ten thousand in donations.

[phones ringing]

Geoff: Sweet. All you Ezekiel and Duncan fans, keep dialing!

Bridgette: They're still missing in action. Or are they?

Blaineley: Ten thousand? Look, we just hit ten thousand!

Bridgette: First, the latest sighting of Ezekiel, allegedly on the plane.

[static]

[rat munching]

[audience gasps]

Geoff: How about our favorite angry punk? Loyal fans have sent in hundreds more Duncan sighting tips, so tonight, we're gonna show you the two best leads.

Bridgette: If you're a Duncan fan and think these are real, cast your vote with a donation, no matter how small.