User:Rainbowderp01/Rock n' Rule (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action... Harold took a big bite of whodunnit in our most mysterious episode yet. After the contestants cracked the code of Chris' mysterious message, they stealthily had to fetch prints and DNA from each other. A party reward on a train quickly turned into a hunt for my...

Harold: [deep voice] Murderer.

Chris: When Lindsay was declared the Sherlock-iest of them all, Courtney was furious! But, it didn't stop Lindsay from inviting Duncan to the movies to make Courtney still more jealous, even if it turned out to be horribly awkward. Will Courtney plot some evil revenge? Is Lindsay going to actually outsmart her? Am I even cooler now that I'm alive again? Find out on this episode of... Total. Drama. Action!

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[ Theme song ]

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[Lindsay]

Ooh, your face

Ooh, in my glance

Ooh-ooh-ooh, it's you and me

And you and me makes we!

You and me-e-e-e

Like butter knives, we're free

We're free!

Courtney: Would you please shut up?! It's like butterflies, not butter knives. Ugh. And everybody knows you picked Duncan for your movie reward last night as retaliation. The murder mystery challenge is over. So you can stop massacring that song!

Lindsay: I was not mascara-ing anything but my eyelashes, Courtney. What's the other thing you said I did?

Beth: Guys, can't we try to get along?

Courtney: Oh, stop playing dumb, Lindsay.

[Lindsay]

Ooh-ooh

Like butter knives, we're free!

Courtney: Oh. She's not playing, is she?

[Lindsay]

You and me makes we!

Duncan: [groans] Three hours at the movie with that girl last night and now this? Ugh. I'm gonna go stick a fork in my eye to relieve the pain.

[drums playing]

[cymbals crash]

Chris: Nice of you to join us. Today's movie genre is... drum roll, please.

[very long drum roll]

Chris: Okay, Ringo. Spotlight's not big enough for the both of us. Today's movie genre is...

[drum roll]

Chris: The rock and roll biopic.

Harold: All right! [imitates guitar] Thunder!

Duncan: [confessional] Rock and roll biopic? Normally, I would've been stoked, but I had a rockin' headache from Lindsay-palooza last night.

Lindsay: Is a biopic kinda like a toothpick? 'Cause I could use one right now. [mouth open] I got popcorn stuck righ' 'ere.

Chris: Shut up. Popcorn down. Any good rock and roll biopic starts with a kid from humble beginnings. Drawn into the seemingly glam world of rock music. After overcoming enormous hardship, the kid gets a break and makes it ginormous! Bigger than me, even. The kid is then drawn into a scandalous world of stuff I'm not allowed to talk about to sixteen-year-olds. Things that lead to dangerous addictions, multiple divorces, the occasional night in the joint, and an untimely death while sitting on a toilet. [aside] Please, do not try any of the aforementioned at home or I would be sued and would be unable to afford the maintenance of this fabulous smiles.

[ding]

Chris: [to the cast mates] A few things that any certifiable rock god needs to know that I can talk about, you need to know how to rock out on the guitar, work the paparazzi, and trash a hotel room. Heh, yeah! Any questions?

Lindsay: Um, why is Owen eating my popcorn?

Owen: H-Hey, everybody!

Lindsay, Beth, Courtney, Duncan, and Harold: Owen?!

Chris: Owen, you were supposed to wait for your cue, what is wrong with you?!

Owen: I-I was hungry. And when I'm hungry, I forget everything other than what my tummy is telling me. [confessional] My tummy and I are really close. We'd be even closer if it weren't for my chest. [real time] Mm.

Chris: Owen! Get lost until I give you your cue! [clears throat] I have an announcement to make. Because I'm the host and can do whatever I want, I've decided to bring someone back to the show. Can anyone guess who that might be?

Lindsay: [gasps] Is it... what's the name of that boy I liked again? Tyler?

Courtney: Ugh! I can't take it anymore!

Owen: Aw, hi, everyone! [laughs nervously] I just can't help myself!

Lindsay: Yay, Owen!

Beth: Hi, Owen.

Duncan: Hey, man!

Harold: Good to have you back.

Chris: Fine, Owen. Fine.

Courtney: Hello?! Not fine! No way Owen is allowed back. I had to file a lawsuit to get back on this show! I'm contacting my lawyers.

Chris: You're not the only one with lawyers. Owen also filed a lawsuit, and won. His jaw was busted by Chef and he was unfairly kicked off the show. That good enough for you?

Owen: [confessional] I didn't really file a lawsuit. I'm back because my mom spent fifty thousand bucks we don't have, which kind of put the family in a big hole. So Chris offered me fifty big ones to come back and stir up the doo-doo. [chomp] Mm! I don't wanna cause any trouble because Lindsay and Beth and Duncan and Harold are my friends! Oh, and Courtney's okay. I guess. [sighs]

Chris: Okay, people! Time for your first big gig. Meet me at the big stadium in ten minutes. You can't miss it.

[drums clanking]

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Beth: Where'd Chris say the stadium is again?

Courtney: He is so going to kill us. We are so late.

Chris: I said ten minutes, not ten hours!

Duncan: You also said to meet you at the big stadium, and this is the dumpy Gilded Chris Award theater.

Chris: Where you might get dumped! Not bad. First step to becoming a rock legend is to show up late for your own show.

[chewing]

Chris: [to Owen] What's with all the eating? We told you, no outside food! [to Chef] Didn't you strip search him? [to contestants] For your first challenge, you're gonna be rocking out on the guitar!

Lindsay: But, I don't know how to play the guitar. Is it anything like the recorder? I can play the recorder.

Chris: Yeah. It's a lot like the recorder. Only completely different. Since I'm guessing most of you can't read, let alone read music, you'll be playing a guitar-shaped peripheral. The notes will be represented by colored notes on the screen, which corresponds to your guitar. You will play simultaneously, during which, you'll be eliminated. Every time you play a wrong note, bzzt!

Beth: You mean you're going to electrocute us?

Chris: Me? Electrocute you? Of course not!