User:Rainbowderp01/Audition Tapes (Transcript)

~Beth~

[pop music]

[Beth]

Skater boys are cool, yeah yeah

Wanna be with you, yeah yeah

Can you hear--

Call me 'cause I'll be there for you

Call me for uh... you

Yeah, and when you call me...!

Beth's Dad: Beth?! Beth?!

[music stops]

Beth's Dad: What's all that racket up there?!

Beth: Nothing! One day, I'm gonna be a star. You'll see. You'll all see.

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~Bridgette~

Girl: Okay, Bridge. We're rolling.

Boy #1: Far on! Go for it, Bridge!

Boy #2: All right!

Boy #1: Show 'em what you got, babe!

Bridgette: Heh. 'Kay, here goes.

[hums through nose]

Bridgette: [chuckles] Okay, I know I suck, but I am a real friend and honest player and if you pick me, I promise to either win with integrity, or leave with my head held high!

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~Chef~

Chef: They done took this too far, man. Mama was right. I should've become one of them charting accountants. But no, I gotta go into the business, be a big star!

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~Cody~

[drum beat]

[Cody]

Girl, you know it's true

You make me feel so blue

When you don't come around

I was lost and now I'm found

Come on--

Cody's Dad: Cody! What did I tell you about making all that noise?!

Cody: Sorry, dad! He just doesn't get it. I'm gonna be a superstar one day. Even bigger--

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~Courtney~

Courtney: Vote for Courtney! Hi! Vote for Courtney! Oh, hi. So as you know, I'm running for student council president. And if I win, I'll be the youngest one ever at this school.

[static]

Courtney: If you pick me for your new show, I promise I'll conduct myself with integrity, honor, and I'll get two new pop machines for the cafeteria. Oh, [bleep]. I just mixed up the two speeches. Can we start over? What do you mean no?

Tom: I mean, I've gotta get to gym class.

Courtney: You promised you'd tape my audition for Total Drama Island, Tom! Just gimme the camera. Give it to me!

[static]

Courtney: Ugh! You are so not going to be my secretary if I win. Hm. Vote for Courtney! Hm.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~DJ~

DJ: Ay, dawg. DJ here. I think I'd be a good contestant for Total Drama Island because I'm kind and courteous, I work well with others, and I'm strong and... well, I was raised right. Thanks, mom. Actually, my mom's the reason I want to win. She taught me that I could be anything I want. [tears up] I love you, ma. That's it. Thanks for listening. [sniffles] Goodbye.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Duncan~

Duncan: Hey! Duncan here. But then you probably know me since I'm somewhat of a local celebrity around these parts. Yeah, photographers are taking my picture all the time. It's because of my charming good looks and the fact that I live in a big house with tons of security cameras and guard dogs. If I had to pick my best quality, I'd say I'm resourceful. Yeah, I'm pretty quick on my feet.

[alarm sounds, dogs bark]

Duncan: Well, it's been nice chatting with you, but I really gotta run!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Eva~

Eva: Fifty-seven. Fifty-eight. Fifty-nine. Sixty! You see that? I'm the only girl in school who can do more than ten pull-ups. So whatever you can throw at me, I can handle it. Bring it-- hey! You're dead, do you hear me?!

[static]

Eva: So, if you want a really strong competitor who gets along with everyone, pick me! You can edit this, right?

[camera squeaks]

Eva: Awesome, thanks.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Ezekiel~

Ezekiel: Is it on? Okay. Watch this, guys. I'm gonna bag me a big ol' moose! [blows kazoo]

[bushes rustle]

[woman screams]

Ezekiel: Mom? Mom?! Oh, shoot! I'm sorry!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Geoff~

Geoff: Just a typical weeknight with me and my buds. Just a couple hundred of us. A band, sixty or seventy party pizzas. Ha. Whoo! See? Life is over like [snaps] that, man. If you don't stop and have a party every Monday, or uh, every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you're gonna regret it. So, peace. Chill out. Party. It's all good, my friends. Aw...

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Harold~

Harold: I've got badges in bass fishing, basketry, farm mechanics, bottle making, rabbit raising, and stamp collecting, with a master badge in compass reading. [wheezes]

[plays keyboard]

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~Heather~

Heather: Will I be nervous if I'm chosen to be on the show? [scoffs] No. Why should I be? I am extremely comfortable being on national television. I know I look good. Some girls may have issues with their bodies, but maybe they just aren't as pretty as I am. Pick me, and I promise high ratings.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Izzy #1~

Izzy: Okay. So, there are some things you should know about me. Um, I'm really loyal. And I'm like so smart, you have no idea. Maybe even a genius. And, but the thing I'm best at is I'm awesome at twirling fire batons! Okay, you ready? Okay! Hup hup, hey, hup! Uh!

[smoke alarm beeps]

Izzy: [chuckles] Oops. Okay. Should not do that indoors. Sorry, mom!

~Izzy #2~

Izzy: Izzy is name my. Freaky being enjoy I. [grunts] Hey, huh! Ha! Haha! Whoo, okay! Okay, here's what I can do! Okay. I can, um, roll my eyes all the way back in my head, like-- eh. Okay. I can also double-joint both of my elbows, okay? Catch an eyeful of this. [grunts] [chuckles] Okay. And I can, oh, I can uh, wrap my tongue around my head like a turban. Just like... Okay. So, let me be on Total Drama Island. Boring be never will it. [chuckles]

Izzy's Mom: Izzy!

Izzy: What, mom?!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Justin~

[inspirational music]

Voiceover: Justin. Justin. Justin.

[dolphin squeaks]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Katie~

[dance music]

[twirling]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Leshawna~

Leshawna: Hey, yo, Leshawna in the house! Big, bold, and bootylicious. I'm giving a shoutout to my TDI crew. If you want a sister who's straight up large and in charge, then give a holler back. 'Cause I'm all that and a bag of chips! Well? What you waitin' for, fools? I ain't got all day!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Lindsay~

Lindsay: The audition sheet says to list my best qualities, but ha, there's so many. I'm pretty and smart, and I get along with everyone. Even ugly girls. Mhm. I love camping, even though I've never gone. I have bikinis for every season, even the ones not listed on the calendar, and I'm bi-languageal. I speak fluent English and American.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

'~Mr. Coconut~'

[tropical music]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Noah~

Noah: Hey. I'm Noah. You may not know me, but you will, because I'm going places. See, I've got a plan.

Joey: Hey, Noah! Way to go on winning class president! You deserve it, man!

Noah: Thanks, Joey. See, I got smarts. And that's what wins in the end. Trust me. I got this one in the bag.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

~Sadie~

[dance music]

Katie and Sadie: [laughing]

Katie: [grunts]

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~Trent~

[guitar playing]

[Trent]

I'm just a man

Just a one woman man

Yeah, that's all I am

And if I can

I wanna find that one woman

[sproing]

Trent: Aw, crap.

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~Tyler~

Tyler: What you need on this show is a real athlete, and I'm your man! Yeah, baby! Catch this action! Oof!

[whistle]

Tyler: Oh! Oh! Oof!