User:Rainbowderp01/Pahk'd With Talent (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama... The final four took a simple footrace to stanky new heights. [chuckles] Nasty. Ha ha. With Jasmine and Shawn show-mancing it up, Sky was forced to partner with her cabbage-eating nemesis, Sugar, which was actually a very good idea. 'Til it became a very bad idea. In the end, Jasmine was the last to reach for the top, and the next to take a hop into the giant peashooter of shame. It's four no more. We're down to these three, and soon, one more of them will blast free. So, whos's going to be your final two? I wanna know, don't you? Let's do! Here, on Total. Drama. Island Pahkitew!

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[ Theme song ]

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[creak]

[Psycho music]

Sky: [screams] Huh? Must've been a nightmare.

[thunking]

Sugar: [confessional] [giggles] I wasn't really gonna hit her. Hehe, on camera.

Sky: [confessional] Finale, here I come! Shawn's fit and smart-ish, but if it comes down to a foot race or a math test, I think I can take him. And Sugar's no match at all. Although she did make it all the way to the final three. Underestimating her again would be a big mistake. If I'm not careful, she'll cheat and lie her way to the million! No more Mr. Nice Guy-- uh, I mean girl.

Shawn: [yawns] [sighs] Jasmine. [confessional] Was I happy to see Jasmine get shot out of a cannon? Of course not! Was I relieved? Well, a little. If we'd made it to the finale together, she thought we would split the winnings, but now I can get the girl and the zombie-proof bunker! Check it out! Entrance chamber with eye-scan entry and remote lasers here, here, and here. And here and here. And here. Master bedroom with bite-proof bedspread and weaponized pillows, and just in case... this is the panic room. And this is the panic room inside the panic room. Can't be too careful.

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Attention punching bags, it's that time again! Final three to the meeting area, pronto!

Sugar: Oh, hey there! [insincere] How'd you sleep? Hope you didn't have any nightmares! Wink.

Sky: [gasp] I slept fine! Sorry if you didn't. Don't worry, you'll sleep better tonight when you're home. You know, home? Where you're headed? After you lose this challenge?

Sugar: [laughs] Oh, silly. I never lose when it counts. You'll never beat me, 'cause you're too nice!

Sky: Ow!

Sugar: [confessional] Two girls filled with boiling hatred for each other. It's really starting to feel like a pageant now. And there's only two emotions at a pageant. Winning and revenge.

Sky: [confessional] Okay. Ow. Maybe I need to work on my "No more Mr. Nice Girl".

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Chris: Children of competition. Your toughest challenge yet will be in three parts. Head-to-head-to-head.

Sugar: Head-to-head? Ha, just call me the winner now. My noggin's bigger and solid-er than everyone else's combined!

Chris: Head-to-head doesn't mean that you--

Sugar: Doctors say that my skull is so thick, some of my brain squashed down into my neck!

Sky: Now, that I believe.

Chris: Yeah, 'cause it's true.

Shawn: [confessional] Sky may be the most likely to survive to the finale, but Sugar's the most likely to survive the zombie apocalypse! Her brain's in her neck! Zombies never go for the neck.

Chris: This will be a three part challenge. Each player gets to create one of those parts.

Sky: I get to create my own challenge?

Chris: You all do, within reason. Winner of each challenge gets three points, second place gets two, and last place gets one. After all three challenges, the player with the lowest total points gets to see the inside of cannon. Briefly. Two highest scores gets to battle it out in the finale for one. Million. Dollars! Whoa! Careless. Get that money back into the case pronto or you're fired. [to contestants] You have one minute to write down the details of your challenge.

Sugar: [confessional] Once we get to my challenge, no way is anyone gonna beat me.

Shawn: [confessional] It's not so much about my skills, it's more about their weaknesses.

Sky: [confessional] And they both have so many weaknesses to choose from.

Chris: We begin our final three showdown with the challenge created by... Sky!

Sky: Yeah! [cheers] [confessional] In any competition, it's better to strike first. It breaks your opponent's spirit. Although it's not Sugar's spirit I wanna break.

Sugar: Hold up. Why is Sky's challenge first?

Chris: Easy, tiger. The order was randomly selected with the help of the interns.

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[flashback]

Chris: Okay, here goes.

[intern grunts]

Chris: [whistles]

[flashback ends]

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Chris: And Sky's challenge is, a one-hundred meter hurdles race.

Sugar: [gulps]

Shawn: Yeah! [laughs] [confessional] Back home, hurdles are part or my daily zombie evasion training regime. I like to pretend each hurdle is a zombie reaching up to attack me. Works like a charm.

Sky: [confessional] I came second in the provencial hurdles event. And the girl who came in first isn't here.

Chris: Now, hurdles, while exciting... [yawns] didn't seem in keeping with the spirit of the show, so I was forced to add some little... you know, extras.

Shawn, Sky, and Sugar: Aw...

Chris: You might wanna be careful out there. Anywho... on your marks... get set... and... go!

[airhorn blares]

Shawn: [grunts] Oh!

Sky: Ha!

Shawn: No! Ah! Fire ants!

Sugar: Got one!

Sky: Hup!

Shawn: [grunts] [squeals]

Chris: Turtle hurdle, punny and painful.

Chef and Chris: [laughing]

Shawn: Ow...

Sugar: Ha ha ha, yeah!

Sky: Hup! [grunts]

Sugar: [cheering] Free sweet goo!

Chris: Sugar takes the lead! And she's amassing quite the collection of hurdles, I might add.

Sugar: Mm, gooey num-nums!

Sky: [groaning]

Shawn: See ya!

Sky: Oh no, you don't!