User blog:Gordon003/“What if Total Drama was directed by…” Episode 2: Boom!

= It has been a long time since the first episode which I published 3 months ago (M Night Shymalan) 3 months. I was about to make it a series due to my love of movie but I guess I completely forgot about it. As a result, I didn’t continued it despite the positive reviews on it. But now, I read the script once again and remembered all of the funs I had back when I wrote the script between Shymalan and TD. So I thought “Why not I give this another shot?” = 

So seat back and enjoy all of the mayhem or something else that famous movie directors will bring to TD worlds. Hope you enjoy.

Director: Michael Bay
Most famous for: 
 * Explosion
 * Explosion
 * MORE EXPLOSION!!



Previously from “What if Total Drama was directed by”…

“THEY DON’T APPRECIATE THE WORK OF GENIUS!”

The TD producer just interviewed M Night Shymalan

        “It’s a huge honour to have an experienced movie director”

But differences between their ideas…

        “WHY DO U ADVERTISE IT AS A HORROR SERIES?”

Caused the producer to rage

“GET OUT OF HERE!”

        “You sirs will rue this day.”

        Silence…

Narrator: Welcome back. We are back in the interview room as the producer takes a break to calm himself down. This is “What if Total Drama is directed by…” as we go back to the producer.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: (regain his breath back) Okay, who’s next?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael Bay enters

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Welcome. Take a seat.

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael sits.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: I assume you’re Michael Bay.

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Yep.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Yeah, you’re the guy that every teenagers love which I have no idea why. But the most important thing that matters is that producers who previously worked for you love you as your films made so much profits. So really, it’s an honor for me to have a … well, an excellent movie director who can help us spread Total Drama series to more people and more importantly, young teenagers.

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: No problem. I always make film for the audience, not for the critics. If I get criticised, I hit them with my wads of money I made from my films.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: …Ok… Now as you know, every director submitted their scripts for our new Ridoncolous Race 2 and we picked the best out of it. The reason why we are interviewing you is because we have some major concerns from your scripts. Now I’m not saying that your script is crap. We just simply want more clarification of your script from you. Do you understand?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: No problem. Shouldn’t be a hassle.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer:  Ok. First problem – the theme song. Why do you want “Born in the USA” as the new theme song? Did you forget that Rindonculous Race involves travelling around the whole world, not just USA?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: What are you on about? There’s only 1 country … and that’s USA!! And this song perfectly summaries it!

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: But…

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: No but! (Singing) BORN IN THE UUUUUUSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAA!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: NOO!!! WE DO NOT NEED THAT!!! THIS IS TOTAL DRAMA, NOT USA DRAMA!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Fine. Thought you want popularity…

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: (Pondering) Hmmm … That may explain my next problem…

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: What do you mean?

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Well… all of your draft pics you sent to us have an American flag in the background. Hell, even the script specifically indicates where to put the USA flag! What is the point of that?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: USA is my life!! Every country should appreciate USA and I feel that is the best way to do that.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Yeah... Like I said. This is about travelling around the world, not USA. You missing the main points, Michael. You are meant to introduce other countries’ culture. That’s the main idea of Rindoncolous Race.

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Alright. Alright. Alright. I guess I can sacrifice the USA flag but that’s a VERY hard decision to make! Don’t blame me if all teenagers in USA refuse to watch it due to no USA flag.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Michael, you are missing the main point!! Talk about other country, not USA!! And plus, I may care about money and popularity but I also care more on making a darn good season that will please the fan. Along with that, there’s another problem, Michael.

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: How many problems do you have? Do you want to make this show popular with teenagers?

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: True… But still, I want a good season. Anyway, here’s the next problem: the cast

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: What’s wrong with it?

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer:  Well listen to it. Justin, Bridgette, Geoff, Tyler, Lindsay, Zoey, Alejandro, Anne Maria … This is just a few. Can you tell me what’s wrong with it?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: I don’t see anything wrong with it. That’s why I picked them.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: No. Let me answer it. Most of the characters plot ARE DONE AND FINISHED!! They had their chances. What’s the point of bringing them back if their plot is finished?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: I picked them due to their looks. Every teenagers love to see how hot those contestant are. I guarantee - you make a hot picture of Lindsay in bikini – all teenagers will want to watch Total Drama. That I can give…

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: NOO!! Total Drama is about character progression and love, NOT HOW HOT THEY ARE!! It’s part of the plot, Michael. Character Development. Don’t you understand that? This is what makes Total Drama so good and unique.

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Relax. There’s character development.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Where?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: In the script. You see, Justin is seen posing while spectacularly diving away from those explosions.

<p class="MsoNormal">Makes Boom sound while creating a scene

<p class="MsoNormal">Boom. Boom. BOOOOMMMMMMM!!! And then explosion at the back and you see Justin and his hot body at the front, posing …. Ohhh, his hot body. Every girl will love that. What do you think?

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: No, Michael. That’s special effect. I believes there’s a difference between…

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Nah nah nah nah. You will never understand how my works influence teenager. Even I surprise myself. That how good my work really is.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: (Confused) Okay… Well, you mention the biggest problem of all. The explosions…

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: DON’T YOU DARE SAY WE SHOULD REMOVE IT!!! THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT IN MY SCRIPT!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Yeah … I was confused by how many explosions appear in the script. I mean look at it.

<p class="MsoNormal">(Flip to page 2)

<p class="MsoNormal">''Huge explosion at 10:01. Bigger Explosion at 10:02. Lindsay and Tyler poses in sexy outfit and kissing with each other. Nuclear Explosion. Lindsay and Tyler suddenly appear with bike. More explosion''

<p class="MsoNormal">I mean …. What does the explosion even has to do with Rindoncoulous Race at all?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: It expresses the character’s pain and shows their determination to do their best. But most importantly, it’s what teenagers want!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Umm.. what?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: And also, explosion will help explain and improve the character’s development. Isn’t that what you want?

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Yes but I….

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: BOOM!! BOOOMMMMM!!! BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Play Rise of the Valkyrie, creating another scene

<p class="MsoNormal">Imagine it. Explosion there and over there. And over there, you see Justin and Alejandro fighting with their hot bodies against the robots and aliens for America.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Robots and Aliens?!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Yes… Why have 1 when you can have 2?!! And over there, you see Lindsay and Bridgette in their bike, shooting aliens and riding at the same time. And BOOM!!! Suddenly, both are above the helicopter somehow.

<p class="MsoNormal">Then slow motion. You can see Lindsay destroy the helicopter… in slow motion. Ohhh…. I have a good feeling with this!

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: No No NOOOOOOO!!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Bear with me! Bear with me!

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael then stands on his chair

<p class="MsoNormal">And then you see Noah in his fighter plane. A close up shot of Emma crying as Noah flies up to the alien mothership and destroys it, sacrificing himself not only for the team’s victory but also for USA.

<p class="MsoNormal"> Sing the USA national anthem

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: You can’t do that!! That’s Independence Day!! We will be sued for sure!

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Hmmmmmm…. I tell you what. We add more explosions. They won’t realise the similarities. We’ll be fine.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: NOOOOOOOO!!!! This is Total Drama, NOT ARMAGEDON!!! THIS IS NOT PATRIOTISM!!! THIS IS NOT USA!! Are u on drugs?? Where are the challenges??

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: That’s the challenge.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: What?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: The challenge is to destroy the alien mothership. And you know what? This whole setting and challenge I described is only for 1 episode. I got 24 other good ideas for other episodes.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: ARE U KIDDING ME!!???

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: What do you think, eh?? Looks so cool … I can imagine every teenagers watching it.

<p class="MsoNormal">You see, in 1 episode it will be in Australia as the contestants get to fight against the mutant spider and alligator..

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer picks and suddenly throws the music player on the other sides of the wall

<p class="MsoNormal">Hey, what’s going on?

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: WHAT ARE U ON ABOUT??? DO U KNOW WHAT ARE U DOING??

<p class="MsoNormal">Hitting the script repeatly

<p class="MsoNormal">WHERE’S THE DIALOGUE…. THE LOVE …. THE FUN… WHERE’S THE PLOT???

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Action drives the plot.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Yes but all you have is nothing but explosion and hot bodies.

<p class="MsoNormal">I mean look:

<p class="MsoNormal">''“Lindsay sits there, glancing at Tyler as he dodges multiple gunfire from the aliens. Then suddenly a huge explosion and Lindsay shots all of the aliens dead.”''

<p class="MsoNormal">Nothing but action …

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: But it help drives character’s progression, do they??

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: NOOOOOOO!!!! That’s special effect,  goddarn it!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Panting

<p class="MsoNormal">Wait … do you know the difference between special effect and plots?

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Uh… I thought special effect is the main plot. Is it?

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer throws the script at Michael

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: GET THE FU## OUT OF HERE!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO RUIN TOTAL DRAMA IN THE SAME WAY LIKE TRANSFORMER AND TNMT!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Okay, calm down…

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: NO!! DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! GET OUT OF HERE!! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!! OR ELSE, I WILL THROW A BOMB AT YOU TO SHOW YOU WHAT A REAL EXPLOSION REALLY IS, CGI NERD!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael: Okay.. calm down. I go I go…

<p class="MsoNormal">Michael approaches the door

<p class="MsoNormal">Don’t ask me again if this series goes down in the drain.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer threatens to throw a bomb at Michael, quickly causing Michael to leave.

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer: Goddarn it!! Aliens … USA …. WHAT IS GOING ON??? Man, I need to take a break…

<p class="MsoNormal">Producer left

<p class="MsoNormal">END

<p class="MsoNormal">Which director should I do next?

<p class="MsoNormal">A. Tarantino - famous for his violence

<p class="MsoNormal">B. Kubrick - famous for making very slow shot

<p class="MsoNormal">C. The guy who directed Battlefield Earth

<p class="MsoNormal">D. Others (Name the director in the comment)

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