User:Rainbowderp01/Hello and Dubai (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... Our teams took a blistering stroll through Hawaii. The Surfer Dudes showed some love as they took first place. Josee found a new good luck charm, Kelly told Taylor she's not that chipotle after all, and Carrie's heart broke into a million pieces. But it was all eyes on the Daters, who became Haters and arrived last. When they found out it was a non-elimination round, you could really see the joy on their faces. Let the madness continue. This is... The Ridonculous Race.

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: Welcome back to The Ridonculous Race, where our racers are ready to say "aloha" to Hawaii. Our Surfer Dudes came in first.

Geoff: Whoo! Dibs on first tip! [aside] I don't know what's crazier. That we're in first or that we're not in last.

Brody: [aside] Dude. Deep.

[buzz, ding]

Brody: We're going to... D-Debay-e. Huh?

Don: Or as it's more commonly known... Dubai! An oasis of luxury, man-made islands, and a mall so big, even teenagers get lost. Once here, teams must bus to Burj Al Arab, the world's only seven-star hotel, to find the next Don box.

Geoff: Taxi!

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[computer clicking]

Brody: [grunts]

Geoff: Dubai, please!

Clerk: Flight leaving now time, twelve seat. Rest on next flight.

[all cheer]

Dwayne: All right! We made it!

Junior: Count again.

Dwayne: Two, four... darn it!

Junior: [aside] Already tied for last. Yay.

Dwayne: [aside] Don't count us out yet, kiddo. Ha ha. Last time, we were on the first flight, and it got delayed. Remember?

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Don: [voiceover] While the last seven teams wait to board their flight out, the first six are about to fly Air Dubai, with the world's most opulent first class section, for winners only.

Brody: [laughing]

Geoff: Cannonball! [laughing]

Brody: Dude, dude! Mm. Cookie?

Jacques: Oh, mais oui.

Brody: Huh. Guess not.

Jacques: Ugh! That hot tub should be ours! How did we place third?!

Josee: As my mother always says, "Bronze is the medal of failure!" [spits] But, mama, our luck is about to change.

Jacques: Josee's replaced her lost lucky rabbit's foot with a pretty rock.

Josee: Aww.

Jacques: Our luck is bound to improve! Ow! [grunting] That, oh, that is pointy! Ah!

Josee: Forged from lava, this stone embodies my fiery determination to win! [evil laughter]

Jacques: You mean our determination to win.

Josee: Hm? Oh yeah. Sure.

Don: Both flights are headed for Dubai. One an hour ahead of the other. It'll be a quick flight.

[feedback]

Don: What? Seventeen hours? Ouch. Well, plenty of time to rest and enjoy each other's company.

Stephanie: [interview] Seriously? You're giving me the silent treatment? Oh, two can play that game! I'm the queen of silent treatment! I've got a whole bag of quiet to drop on you.

Ryan: [interview] I look forward to it.

Stephanie: [interview] You just wait, mister. You're about to hear puins dropping! It's gonna be a library up in here! You'll be so--

Ryan: [interview] Still! Talking!

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[beeping]

Noah: I know the seatbelt sign's on, but why bother?

Owen: Ha... it's cozy. [interview] Flying's the scariest. I usually squeeze my teddy bear, Beary, to get through it, but I swallowed him. So now I squeeze my Noah! Ah...

Noah: [interview] [strained gasp]

Owen: Hey, want the window seat?

Noah: Uh, gonna pass.

[loving music]

Owen: Oh, really? [chuckles] [loudly] But you always want the window seat! Pggt, I wonder why you'd wanna stay there. [chuckles]

Kitty: I was thinking we should form an alliance. With like... I don't know... Noah and Owen.

Emma: [interview] I have enough trouble keeping this one on track. With a whole other team to worry about, ugh, I wouldn't be able to ride her as much.

Kitty: [interview] Yep. We really need an alliance.

Emma: Noah's a snarky know-it-all. Do you have any idea what it's like to be around someone like that?

Kitty: I can't imagine. But they're pros. They know what's what.

Owen: [grunts] Okay, I almost got it. [farts]

[alarm blares]

Noah: No!

Kitty and Emma: [coughing]

Noah: I'm gonna hang in the toilet, where it smells better.

[beeping]

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Jay: Stewardess! This altitude is giving my brother a nosebleed and an inner ear infection.

Mickey: [whimpering] How much longer is this flight?!

Taylor: We're still on the ground, you babies!

Kelly: I like how you handled that, honey.

Taylor: Oh, do I get a fake trophy for it?

Kelly: [interview] Honey, I feel terrible about this.

Taylor: [interview] Oh, then all is forgiven. Psych! That means it isn't. [real time] Mom, I need some space. I'm giving you a timeout.

Kelly: I'm not sure it works like that, h--

Taylor: [inhales and strains]

Kelly: Okay, sure. Hi there. Is this seat taken?

Dwayne: Uh, no, no. [chuckles] But uh, I am. Married.

Junior: She's not into you, dad.

Dwayne: Oh. Sorry.

Kelly: No problem. [sighs] I'm just having some... family issues right now. It all started back when Taylor was... [fades out]

Dwayne: [interview] Play our cards right, pal, and this could be our first alliance. Ha ha, great, huh?

Junior: [interview] Uh, have you met them?

Kelly: And I guess I shouldn't have told her the truth.

Dwayne: Oh yeah, our opinions mean a lot to them. Uh, one time, Junior made pancakes for mother's day and I said they were overdone. He almost cried.

Kelly: I had the exact same thing happen with Taylor! Except I was the one making pancakes for her, and she threw them at me! And the pan.

Dwayne: Oh. Uh, [chuckles nervously] Well, that's kids for you.

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Emma: Kitty's so unfocused. [continues under]

Kitty: Ugh! They're both so snarky and full of themselves.

Owen: How are they not a couple yet?

Kitty: It's Emma. She's still hurt from her last breakup.

Owen: Ooh, still fresh?

Kitty: It was three years ago.

Owen: Oh.

Kitty: Yep. Getting these two together is gonna take some work.

Owen: Yeah!

Don: [voiceover] Flight number one has landed in Dubai, and the teams are being shuttled to the Burj Al Arab.

[buzz, ding, buzz, ding]

Noah: Either Or. Serve or Squeegee.

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Don: Teams can either return one serve each from the world's toughest ball launcher, The Tennis Menace...

[whoosh]

[shatter]

Don: Or wash an entire column of windows from the top down.

[creak]

[flame whoosh]