User:Rainbowderp01/Cluckwork Orange (Transcript)

[ Theme song ]

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[kids humming theme]

MacArthur: And that, kids, is how you milk a bear.

[bear groans]

Izzy: Uh... that's not how I do it.

MacArthur: Then you're doing it wrong. Now, feel free to patrol the mobile petting zoo. Go ahead and pet anything you want. The gator's a real softy, but uh, be careful with the chicken. He's a bad hombre.

[chicken clucks]

[all cheer]

Beth: Whoa. Someone is not flossing.

Owen: Huh. I've never seen a chicken without alfredo sauce. Hi there, friend.

[chicken clucks]

Owen: Ow. I said friend. Ow. Ow. Ow. Why are you doing this? I hope I don't get mad chicken disease! Ow.

MacArthur: Hey, smarten up! You're gonna be swimming with the noodles!

[chicken clucks]

MacArthur: Oh yeah, chicken? You wanna dance wit a deep fryer?

[cluck]

Harold: Ooh! This cocoon is amazing! Nice one, arachni friends!

[pig squeals]

Owen: Bacon, come back!

MacArthur: [gasps] No no! Do not climb into his mouth!

Beth: How else am I supposed to fill this nasty cavity? Duh.

MacArthur: Gators. Aren't. Sleeping bags!

Cody: Who's a good wolverine? Who's a good wolverine?

[wolverine pants]

Jude: Hey there, chicken dude.

[chicken clucks]

[kids hum loving music]

Jude: I thought so. You're not bad. You're just misunderstood.

MacArthur: Wow. Check out the chicken whisperer.

Izzy: I have a pink pony! Yahah!

[pig squeals]

Chef: Okay, kids! Say thank you to the nice zookeeper lady and let's head on inside!

Bridgette, Cody, and Courtney: Thank you, zookeeper lady!

MacArthur: Animals, truck. Now!

Jude: Aww, you're so sweet. Gimme some wing up top, bud.

[smack]

Jude: Check you later.

[sad cluck]

Chef: Now everybody go wash your hands extra well before lunch, because animals are dirty, dirty creatures.

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MacArthur: Now everybody wash up extra, extra well before we leave because children are dirty, dirty creatures.

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Chef: Cody, stop sucking your thumb, you were just petting a wolverine!

Cody's Cell: Halt! You wolverine germs shall not pass! Ah!

[poof]

[wolverine germs growl]

[kids hum dramatic sting]

Cody: [growls]

Chef: [laughs] Kids.

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Noah: Bleh!

Courtney: Ew!

Noah: Bleh.

Owen: Bleh!

[thud]

Jude: Lunch, the most second meal of the day. Oh hey, chicken. Whoa, chicken? What are you doing in there?

[chicken clucks]

Jude: No, I can't keep you here. Chef will see you and flip out!

[cluck]

Jude: Hide you using a variety of disguises? Hm... that might work.

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Jude: Ready when you are, chicken!

[curtain rises]

Jude: Yeah, nah.

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Jude: Too accusatory.

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Jude: Kinda farmy.

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Jude: Not spacy enough.

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Jude: Yes! That's the one! I should probably go put on my backup clothes. [confessional] I never had a dog or a cat or anything, but I'm ready to be a pet owner. And is there any bond greater than a boy and his chicken? Nuh-uh. I'm gonna take good care of you. [real time] I feel weird calling you chicken, 'cause people eat chicken. I know! I'll call you Nugget!

[chicken clucks]

Jude: Let's go explore the daycare, "new student". Wink!

[lovely music]

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[montage music]

Chef: [confessional] I'm seeing chickens! My vision book says that means I'm afraid of commitment! Well, I'm not afraid to commit anymore! Beverly, it's Chef. No more renting, I'm gonna buy that tuba!

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Cody: [confessional] Ever since that petting zoo, I've been feeling kinda weird. Almost like... [gags and coughs] I don't remember eating all this hair.

Izzy: [confessional] Aww. I'm gonna call him Nestor. Oh! And you're turning into a werewolf!

Cody: [confessional] Neh.

[scratching]

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Courtney: What? Huh? All right, who's taking my-- hey! You give that back! [screams]

[chicken clucks]

Jude: Whoa, Courtney. Lunch goes in your mouth.

Courtney: I was making sure none of my food groups were touching when your chicken did this to me!

Jude: Well, if your lunch had chicken in it, maybe Nugget was trying to rescue it.

Courtney: It. Was. Tuna! You've got a bad chicken, Jude. Now what am I gonna eat for lunch?

Jude: Take mine. [hushed] Don't tell Nugget about the egg salad.

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Owen: [laughs]

[kids hum dramatic sting]

Harold: What a city! Hard work, but Haroldtown was totally worth it! Stay back, chicken! No! That's City Hall! Not the opera house! No! That's the secret ninja headquarters!

[chicken roars]

Harold: [echoes] No!

[sad music]

Harold: [whimpers] Grr. Stop, foul creature! Huh? Oh! Oh! Ow! [grunts] Where did you train?

Jude: Hey, Harold. Have you seen--

Harold: Your feathered fiend? Yes! It just went chick-zilla all over Haroldtown!

Cody: [snarling]

[rip]

Jude: I'm sure it was an accident.

Harold: No. He was looking right at me. That bird is a bully! Your chicken is bad, Jude! Bad!

[rock music]

Harold: Stay back, vile creature!

Jude: Nugget and I do not appreciate your judgy, judgemental judging. Come on, buddy.

Izzy and Owen: [chanting] The cat chases mice, so my grandma makes rice!

Izzy: [chanting] And they close the school 'cause there's an outbreak... of lice. Uh, Owen? Did you just turn into an angry chicken? [laughs] W-Why am I asking him that in English when I speak fluent chicken? [clucks and screams]

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Izzy: What?! How could this possibly be my fault?!

Jude: Nugget must've thought your skipping rope was a giant worm and wanted to eat it.

Izzy: You can't skip rope with a worm, Jude. You have to tie several worms together to make it long enough. Ha, trust me. I once tried to do that.

Owen: We were skipping rope with a worm? Cool.

Izzy: Your chicken is... I'm gonna use a bad word here, okay? Mean!

Courtney: Izzy is right, Which is something I never thought I'd say.

Harold: Yup. Your bad chicken has to go!

Jude: Come on, guys. Nugget isn't mean or bad, he's just... misunderstood. And look how generous Nugget is. He laid all these eggs.

Courtney: She! The females lay the eggs.

Jude: Well, I don't know about that, but not everyone is against Nugget,

Bridgette: [laughs]

Jude: Bridgette, you like Nugget, right?

[chicken yells]

Bridgette: Ah!

Jude: No! Oh, why do you have nunchucks? Oh! Why, Nugget?! W-Why?! No! Are you okay? It's over now.

[kids hum action sting]

Jude: Or it's not.

[shoot]

[whistle]

Jude: Ah!

[splat]

Courtney: Now do you see, Jude? Bridgette just got scrambled.

Bridgette: Hah... can someone please tell me what just happened?

Jude: Dudes, I was so wrong. My chicken is totally whack. How could something so cute and fluffy be so evil.

Courtney: We need to get rid of it before it attacks again.

Jude: Nugget is my chicken. I'll do it.

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Jude: They say if you love something, you have to set it free. And if that something is a violent psycho chicken with anger issues, then it should be in the wild where it belongs. Which is where you belong, Nugget. So be free, my friend.

[cluck]

Jude: I know you wanna stay with me. I know. But you can't, Nugget. You can't. Now fly, fly away!

Owen: Um... can chickens fly?

Harold: No. No, they can't.

[chicken clucks]

Jude: Wow. Nugget sure can fly fast. He's already in the clouds.

Owen: Actually--

Harold: Probably best to say nothing.

[cluck]

Jude: Bye, little buddy!

[boing]

[cluck]

[kids hum dramatic sting]

[whirring]

Cody: [growls]

[chicken gulps and clucks]

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Bridgette: I'm sorry you had to let your friend go loose, Jude.

Jude: I learned a valuable lesson from all this. Egg salad makes me--

[fart]

Bridgette and Harold: [scream]

Harold: [gags] Ew.

Courtney: The more important lesson is... you can't keep a violent wild animal in a daycare.

Beth: You can't? Hurry, Suzanne, hide in here!

[glass breaks]

Chef: Ah, no! Bad gator! Shoo! Get out! My tuba!

[tuba blows]

[credits]