User blog:DramaDot/Zeek and Ye Shall Find Review

Zeek and Ye Shall Find


Look closely, for this is one of the few times you will see a Chef in its natural habitat.

'''Hi, my name is Dot and I’m here to review TDAS. Today I’m going to be continuing my review series with Episode Nine, Zeek and Ye Shall Find. This episode is generally considered the beginning of the end of TDAS (tied with Regatta), but I actually don’t think it’s that bad. Read on and find out why. '''

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'''It’s recap time now! Chris apparently calls boats “floating machines”. He also...knows about Mal? See, that’s what you get for being a poor villain.'''

'''We have a moment alone in a hot tub with Alejandro. Sigh...then Chris comes and it passes. You don’t have to speak Spanish around me, Alejandro. I KNOW what you mean. Well, now that Alejandro knows about Mal, he can save himself from elimination! '''

'''Mike, Zoey, and Cameron stand apart from the others looking around and discussing ways to take up more screen time. Alejandro breaks into the cabins and presumably messes with the votes that Mal put under his bed.'''

'''MR COCONUT, HOW DARE SOMEONE PUT YOU IN THE HERO CABIN’S OVEN, HOPING YOU WOULD BURN??!! I DEMAND THAT THE CHALLENGE BE POSTPONED SO THAT WHOEVER DID THIS CAN BE HUNTED DOWN AND ELIMINATED.'''

“Anything you can do, I can do better.”

'''NIce job, Alejandro. Now Mike’s the one who’s framed! That line was a World Tour episode. I miss Total Drama World Tour. That was a great season.'''

'''So Cameron goes ballistic and pretends that he’s Lightning. Touchy much? Zoey defends Mike as usual and all the other contestants POOF from existence. Cameron, I thought we’d already figured out that the votes were tampered last episode. I mean, you didn’t vote for yourself. We already know that.'''

'''Scott suddenly exists again and walks down the cabin stairs to answer the challenge summons. A plank breaks and he falls down the stairs. Why does Courtney come out of the boys’ side of the cabin? That’s a little odd. '''

'''WHOO BOY SCOURTNEY/SCOTTNEY KISS. This is the first second/first-gen couple! Let’s see how this plays out. The neat freak and the dirt farmer (oh yeah, Scott’s a farmer). '''

“Will you go out with me?!”

'''Yes...that’s such a passive answer, Courtney. Be more specific. D’awww, Scott is cute when he doesn’t know what to do with himself. '''

'''Mike yells at a door in order to gain Cameron’s trust. No can do. He’s the new Lightning! I miss Lightning. SHA-BAM! This phony act of playing games is boring, Mal. You’re not doing anything real or villainous.'''

'“Sorry I said I couldn’t trust you. Obviously I can.”'

'''OBVIOUSLY, CAMERON. I mean, there’s only SEVEN SIGNS THAT MIKE’S A PSYCHOPATH AND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING BAD MINUS THE DEATH OF PLAYA DES LOSERS! '''

'''It’s 100th episode challenge time! Why does everyone look at Scott when Chris says that? Wow, Chef spoke. Oh no, why did Ezekiel have to come and kidnap Chris, thus ruining the challenge?'''

'''I get it, the writers like feral Ezekiel. But he is just a pitiful Gollum revive now that just makes me nostalgic for TDI-first-boot Zeke and turns Total Drama into a fantasy action show. He has no plot except being obnoxiously included in every episode. At this rate, I think all potential for his character (even after therapy) is lost considering how much they’ve pushed this whole “he’s a monster” gag. '''

'''I’m surprised that mug didn’t break when Chef dropped it. Yay, Chef gets to host. One-hour anniversary, Scott? Lol. Cameron ignores Gwen, which leaves her sad and alone. Seriously, since when are these two friends or something?'''

'“Ladies first. Or is that wrong ‘cause this is dangerous? Or is THAT wrong ‘cause this is the 21st century? Or is it the 22nd? Uh...cool.”'

'''Scooooooooooooooooooooooooooott <3. '''

'''If you’re ever in Holland, go Dutch. I’ll keep that in mind. Doesn’t that mean to pay for your own dinner at a date?'''

'''Cameron, the holes are the size of cars. You don’t need to point them out. Glad that Gwen has some continuity with her claustrophobia now. Mike abducts Cameron and Zoey, for some reason, feels compelled to save Gwen because Gwen’s a friend magnet now.'''

'''Alejandro gets his boot stuck in a rock. That’s what you get for spouting Spanish 24/7 and jumping like Mario. Why does he just pull his foot out of the boot? I don’t understand this show anymore.'''

'''I wish Chris would get some karma and become a toxic waste mutant. Though that’s not gonna happen because the show must go on! '''

'''AN INTERN SPOKE. IS THIS REAL? IT’S A TOTAL DRAMA RENAISSANCE. NOW WE NEED SOME PLOT DEVELOPMENT FOR THIS GUY, PRONTO! There should be a spinoff show that’s all about the interns and all the stuff they have to do for Chris. Also, it includes their relationships with the contestants. Like the Jo/Intern #4 relationship. I remember that well (as well as an unwritten scene can be remembered). Jo tripped over a wire that Intern #4 was trying to cut! What an interesting development.'''

'''Why did Zoey hide for so long in the shadows before comforting Gwen? She jumped in two seconds after Gwen, yet it took her four minutes to arrive. '''

“Man, she’s good!”

'''I know, Gwen. A little too good for comfort. Vote her off, quick!'''

'''The intern fixes the monitors, sees Chris, flies down to the mines, has an epic karate fight scene with Zeke, and saves Chris from certain death by toxic waste! What a guy! Okay, he only did the first part. Zoey’s abducted now. Ezekiel has certainly prepared for this moment. He had a cage and lock ready! Also a box of rats, apparently. Oh yeah, Alejandro’s Spanish. Didn’t want to forget that. He enters the mine.'''

'''Back to the kooky world of Scottney. Scott blathers on about Courtney’s eyes and then burns them out with a flashlight. Courtney falls down a hole, okay. So Scott jumps after her with a very heroic and manly exclamation.'''

'“COURTNEY!! I’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!”'

'''Love you both. You two are the only sane contestants on this island right now. Cameron’s a lone wolf, Zoey’s a psychiatrist who’s ignoring her boyfriend (for once), Mike’s eyes are sinking into the back of his head, Alejandro’s spouting Spanish nonsense, and Gwen’s hyperventilating and having mood whiplash.'''

'''Woah. Cameron just kissed Courtney. This is the second hybrid-gen couple, then. Of course, it’s all part of Mal’s bizarro plan to do something evil. Scott and Courtney really are dysfunctional, but in the best way possible.'''



'''Poor Scott. His shriveled-up heart is broken. Oh yeah, he’s a farmer. Don’t forget! Lol, Zoey’s just confused. Oh no, the killer rats are chewing on Chris’ rope. Do something! Save your love, Chef! Summon Bling-Bear (oh wait, that’s TDPI)! Summon the butler! Summon the apocalypse! Summon Zoey’s superpowers! SUMMON EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. '''

“The sad thing is...this isn’t the worst party I’ve been to.”

'''Good line, Zoey. For once, you made me laugh. I think Scourtney now has the record of being the shortest official couple in Total Drama history! Two hours long to the minute. I definitely FEEL like I’ve aged since the start of this episode. Maybe more like two years though.'''

'''So Cameron falls and Mal abandons him. How is that evil? You didn’t cause the hole to open up in the ground, Mal. '''

'''I have to pause for a moment to rant. Cameron refuses help from Alejandro and his helpful Spanish. I get that this lone wolf gag is a thing, but why is he so trusting of Mike and not of Alejandro? He’s going to DIE if someone doesn’t help him up, but noooo, he’s more worried about the HORRIBLE POSSIBILITY that Alejandro will vote him off!! He’s so whiny and clingy to Mike/Zoey that he’s unwilling to care for himself and, I don’t know, SAVE HIS OWN LIFE. This is really annoying.'''

'''Chef went through a lot of ice cream cartons in two hours. Yes, get the Pasta gun thing! Fight Ezekiel! This is so romantic. My adrenaline levels are racing. R.I.P. unnamed intern’s lines. It was short but sweet.'''

And so, Ezekiel throws poo on the trapped contestants.

“I hope Mike and Cam are having better luck.”

'''Did you just forget that Gwen existed, Zoey? Yeah, that’s not mildly/somewhat /extremely concerning. Either that or she’s really into the whole Friendship Finale 2.0. thing.'''

'''Awww...Gwenameron, that’s disgusting. At least Cam didn’t die, cough. There’s a river in the mine? It’s not toxic? Okay…'''

'''Ack, Ezekiel jumpscare. Go, Gwen! Win the challenge and immunity! For the first time in years…'''

'''Alejandro is smart. Also, he’s Spanish. I hate it when every contestant suddenly turns against someone. Gives me the shivers for some reason. Maybe Alejandro can use this info to his advantage and vote off Mal. Now THAT would be evil.'''

'''Chef is on the hunt. He whacks those rats into oblivion and...is defeated by Zeke. Too bad. The trapped contestants cheer uselessly from the side as Cameron is crushed by rocks and Gwen shoots at Ezekiel with the pasta blaster. She traps him against his throne and frees Chris! Yay, good job, Gwen! More cheering and some angry Chris dialogue. He’s still horrible, even after nearly dying via toxic exposure. '''

'''Chris has a very long confessional where he rants about his fear of Ezekiel to make up for his lack of confessionals. I like it when Chris is scared. I like lots of things...sigh.'''

'''This is the first time that Gwen’s won immunity since Alien Resurr-egg-tion, I think. I didn’t spell that right. Either Alien Resurr-egg-tion or Wawanakwa Gone Wild, since ARR was not individual immunity (Trent won as well, R.I.P. Trent). '''

'''How did Chef break his arm? This is the first time in a long time that Chris has acknowledged a deal, hehe. What does Gwen have against Alejandro? I guess that Boney Island is just a punishment now that there’s no idol. Or did Chref re-hide it? I guess we’ll never know. A double usage of the idol in one season wouldn’t be that fun or dramatic, though. '''

'''YAY, CAMERON’S GONE. That’s the same medical setup that Cody used in Paintball Deer Hunter. At least his glasses didn’t break. Bye bye, Cam! Oh wait. Time to say goodbyes for the first time this season. Everyone says goodbye to Cameron except for Scott, Courtney, and Al, because they’re apparently horrible people. Why did Mal reveal his secret to Cameron? Guess we’ll never know why, because Cameron is promptly flushed.'''

'''That’s it for my review of Zeek and Ye Shall Find! Other than that embarrassing Ezekiel plot, it was actually pretty funny. Scottney’s weirdness was a bonus, as was Gwen’s semi-sanity and Zoey’s non-godplaying. Overall, a good episode. Tune in next time for my review of Episode Ten, The Obsta-kill Kourse! It’s gonna be a fun one...'''