User:Rainbowderp01/Scarlett Fever (Transcript)

Chris: Last episode of Total Drama went down nice and easy. One Juggy Chunk at a time. Then it was time for a stomach-turning game of Hurl and Go Seek. With his heart broken, Dave voted himself off.

[music distorts]

Chris: And that's about it. Absolutely nothing strange happened. Just like nothing's happening now.

[raccoon squeaks]

Chris: Nope! Nothing to see here! Just a regular day! Get ready for--

[whack]

Chris: Total! Drama!

[whirring]

[lightning strikes]

Chris: Pahki--

[standby music]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[ Theme song ]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[lightning strikes]

Jasmine: It's an earthquake!

Sky: No! It's a typhoon!

Shawn: No! It's a volcano!

[volcano erupts]

Shawn: A Hawaiian donut volcano?

Sugar: Dreams can come true! [slurps]

Max: What's afoot here? I demand the host narrate an explanation.

Chris: No idea what you're talking about. Just need a minute, here.

Jasmine: You've got ten seconds to tell us what's happening.

Chris: Whatever do you mean? You don't have vanishing trees in Australia?

Jasmine: No.

Chris: Uh, what about Christmas? [sighs] Fine. The island's mostly artificial.

[all gasp]

Chris: Yes, gasp! And we're having some technical difficulties, okay? It's nothing to worry about. Ack!

[alarm blares]

Automated Voice: Self-destruct sequence activated. Island will explode in one hour.

[all talking over each other]

[airhorn blares]

Chris: Zip it! For your next challenge, one of you has to shut down the self-destruct, which is located in this underground control room! There are three ways to get there, so you'll split into three teams of two. The team that stops the countdown wins immunity.

Scarlett: [gasps] Can I see that?

Chris: Sure.

Scarlett: [confessional] The fool. He just handed me the key to the island! It's all mine! [evil laughter]

Chris: So, if there's no questions... ready... set...

Sky: Of course we have questions. Why does an island have a self-destruct setting?

Shawn: What do we do when we find the control room?

Sugar: Why do puppets have legs? We all know they can't walk.

Jasmine: This is just a challenge, right? Our lives aren't really in danger, right?

Chris: Silly Jasmine. Your lives have always been in danger. Just never so seriously. But don't worry, I'll be right here to help you. From a safe distance. In this helicopter!

Shawn: Uh, wait. If theres a helicopter, why don't we all just escape?!

Chris: Ready... set... go!

[airhorn blares]

Sky: [confessional] This is crazy. I'm kinda freaking out. I wish Dave were here 'cause he always made me feel-- [gasps] Pull it together. Being doughy-eyed for Dave almost got you eliminated! Huh. But then he eliminated himself. Did he do that to save me? Ugh, focus! I'm really losing it here.

Automated Voice: T-minus fifty-five minutes and counting.

Sugar: We doing this or what?

Sky: Alright, let's pick teams! [groans]

Sugar: Looks like you're on Team Sugar!

Sky: [grunts]

Sugar: Girl's night! Whoo!

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[mechanica whirring]

Jasmine and Shawn: [grunting]

Jasmine: We're close! That entrance should be-- watch out!

Shawn: [grunts]

Jasmine: [grunts] Right over... here! What? Oh, come on.

Shawn: I guess we gotta swim.

Jasmine: I guess we gotta. [confessional] Shawn's great. We have everything in common. Except the zombie thing, which could be a dealbreaker. But once he gets over it, he'll be perfect.

Shawn: [confessional] Yeah, Jasmine rules. Once she developes a healthy fear of the undead, she'll be perfect! [real time] On three. One. Two. Shark!

Jasmine: It'll be fine. Sharks are more afraid of you than you are of him. If it gets close, just punch it in the nose and it'll scram.

Shawn: Really?

Jasmine: Yeah. I saw it on TV once. Let's go!

Shawn and Jasmine: [grunting]

Shawn: [mumbles]