User:Rainbowderp01/The Am-AH-Zon Race (Transcript)

Chris: Germany. Here, our competitors encountered the glorious Alps. As fun to go up as they are to come down. They also learned why Germany is world-renowned to the care they put into their sausages. From this day on, however, Germany will only be known for one thing: its traditional dance. Specifically the Slap Heard Around the World. There's an even dozen left, but not for long on Total. Drama.

[Chris]

World Tour!

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[ Theme song ]

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Owen: [muttering] Going down... [snores] Engine failure...

Alejandro: Will you pipe down already?

Izzy: [gasps]

Owen: Crash position... [screams]

Alejandro: [grunts]

Owen: Whoa. What a terrible dream. Al, what happened?

Alejandro: Nothing a little ice and revenge won't fix.

Owen: Cool. Wait, did you say revenge?

Alejandro: Of course not. Off topic, do you have any serious allergies?

Owen: Uh, let's see now... [confessional] Sometimes I get the feeling Al might slightly not totally like me. Punching him in the face? Probably didn't help. Unless he likes that kind of thing. Heh, fingers crossed.

Alejandro: [grunts]

[rat squeaks]

Noah: [snoring] [gag] [spits] Ah! Ugh. Stupid economy class.

Tyler: Being back here has some perks.

Alejandro: Next time we get on this plane, we better be back in first class.

Owen: Yeah, cool! Let's be a team! A team that gets along. All of us, with everyone forgiving anything that might've ever happened by accident. Or whatever. Yeah!

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DJ: I feel bad for voting off Leshawna. All she did was hurt Heather. I'm hurting innocent animals. How long can a curse last anyway?

Lindsay: Cheer up, DJ. If Tyler can come back, anything can happen. Maybe we'll become the best team ever!

Chris: Here's the best team ever... is exactly what I'll say when I get to the first class compartment.

DJ: [sighs]

[plane buzzes]

[mouse squeaks]

Gwen: Uh... whatcha doin'?

Sierra: I'm on the internet. You can check your email when I'm done writing my blog if you want.

Gwen: Uh, yeah, that'd be...

Sierra: [smacking]

Gwen: No. No, I'm good actually. Yeah, no.

Heather: [sighs]

Courtney: Lookin' good.

Chris: [over PA] Brace for landing! We've arrived at our next destination, the Amazon! But the runway's a little short.

Gwen: Team Amazon in the Amazon? That's gotta be a lucky sign.

Sierra: [gasps] Whenever a team predicts good luck, they always lose!

Gwen: But I didn't... I-I just meant I... [muffled speech]

Chris: [over PA] Gosh, I hope none of the Amazons said this might be lucky for them. That'd be disastrous! [laughs]

Gwen: [groans]

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[tires screech]

Chris: Welcome to Peru. Birthplace of the mighty Amazon River. This challenge is called the Am-AH-Zon Race. Teams must hike along an ancient Inca trail through the Peruvian jungle all the way to Machu Picchu. Hidden somewhere among the ruins of Machu Picchu, a golden treasure awaits discovery. Find the treasure to win first class passage to our next destination. Last team to arrive in Machu Picchu will have to send someone out the elimination door. And be warned, the jungle contains many vicious insects. Yes, Cody, the legal department made me well aware of your deathly allergies and insisted we supply an EpiPen. Wouldn't make sense to give it to the person who has the allergies. What if you need an injection when you're unconscious?

Sierra: Oh, oh, me! I can take it!

Chris: Who can we get to carry this?

Sierra: Oh, Chris, Chris!

Gwen: [sighs] I'll take it.

Sierra: What?! No! I'm the only one who knows what sends Cody into anaphylactic shock! Black ants, brown ants, red ants, poggio beans, wolf spiders, Katydid crickets, the clear-winged cithaerias pireta butterfly, and goat saliva!

Chris: Goat saliva? Must make dating a little tough, eh, Cody? Here you are, Gwen.

Gwen: [gasps]

Chris: Also in the jungle are the Zing-Zings, a native tribe who have never encountered modern man, and they're not about to, so if you spot a Zing-Zing, do not make contact. They--

[snare playing]

Chris: Will you stop that?

Owen: How far is it to Mucky Pitchet?

Chris: Machu Picchu is a hop, skip, and a jump from here. Plus eighteen hours.

[all groan]

Chris: The jungle is too dangerous to travel at night, so teams will have to break at dusk and camp along the trail until sunrise.

Alejandro: And I assume there are no tents?

Chris: Correctamundo. Now, because the playing area is so vast and dangerous, each team will have a walkie-talkie in case of emergency. Teams, I wish you good luck. Or at the very least, a lack of death.

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Lindsay: Eenie, meenie, miney... left?

Tyler: Whatcha think? Left? Yeah, eh, left. Left is definitely good.

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Gwen: Maybe we should go right.

Sierra: No, left. Even if it's wrong, at least everyone will be wrong.

Cody: Yeah. Safety in numbers. Just thinking of you ladies. Ha ha.

Sierra: [gasps] [confessional] When Cody agreed with me in front of everyone, I swear I heard wedding bells. [squeals]

Heather: Let's let Gwen decide. She's the one who's feeling "lucky".

Gwen: I said I was sorry!

Heather: If you're right, you're a hero. If you're wrong, we know who to eliminate.

Gwen: Your parents must love this show, gets you out of the house.

Heather: [raspberry]

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Chris: Welcome, Tiny Victory. I'd say team, but you're more of a duo. But hey, first is first, so... you get to cross this water hazard using the T-bar. Everyone else will have to take the line hand over hand.

Lindsay: [clapping]

DJ: Sweet!

Lindsay: First place!

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Cody: Hey, thanks for taking my EpiPen. You know how to use it, right?

Gwen: Not a clue.

Cody: I get bit, you jam the needle into my naked butt cheek.

Gwen: Yah. good luck with that.

Cody: Ugh, bug off. Uh...

[bug screeches]

Cody: Ah, ah!

Sierra: I'm the only one who will always be there for you, Cody!