User:Rainbowderp01/Dude Buggies (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... the final eight teams went to Flores, Indonesia. There were dragons and poison, and great displays of bravery, and a little bit of cuddling. The Dancers made a dirty play for gold, but the Goths won by a hare, which is a fancy word for rabbit. And sadly, the Reality TV Pros were sent home after failing to reach the carpet. But today's a new day and anything can happen! Because this is... The Ridonculous Race!

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: Welcome back to yesterday's chill zone in Flores, Indonesia, where the Goths, still giddy from their latest win, wait for the first tip.

[buzz, ding]

Crimson: We're going to Las Vegas.

Don: Located in Nevada, USA, Las Vegas is famous for its bright lights, bold entertainment, and very, very bad judgement. And our seven remaining teams won't see any of it! Instead, they'll head past Las Vegas, to this desert Don box to get their next tip. The teams are off. With some stock footage and clever editing like this, and that, an eighteen hour flight only lasts eight seconds! You're welcome!

Stephanie: Hurry!

MacArthur: Move it!

Geoff: Ha ha!

[Come on, hurry! Ooh, taxi! Taxi!]

[tires squeal]

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Crimson: Not the worst place we've been.

Ennui: Agreed. We particularly like the city's overwhelming feeling of sadness.

[crash]

Josee: Ugh! [interview] Coming in second again is bad enough. Losing to the Goths is unacceptable! Oh, I'm onto them now! And I will do whatever it takes to bring them down. That's why I picked up these. Garlic and a wooden stake.

Jacques: [interview] [speaks French] Are you losing it?! They're goths, not vampires!

Josee: [interview] Aren't they, Jacques? Aren't they?!

Jacques: [interview] Ah!

Josee: [hisses]

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Geoff: Last week, we got a little preoccupied with the dragon thing.

Brody: Chyeah. But this week, we're staying focused. There's no dragons in Vegas, right?

Geoff: Dragon-free, bro. We're gold!

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Devin: Taxi!

Carrie: [aside] Devin's finally made it through all the stages of heartbreak.

Devin: Taxi!

Carrie: [aside] It was tough to keep putting aside my own needs to be supportive, but now that he's over Shelley, I'm waiting for the perfect moment to tell him how I feel and let the magic happen.

Devin: Taxi! [interview] I'll admit it, I was depressed for a while, but I'm totally over my breakup with Shelley, and there's only one thing that matters now. Winning the race!

Carrie: [interview] Ugh!

Devin: [interview] What? [real time] Got one!

[car backfires]

Carrie: Meh, looks kinda old and slow, maybe we should take the next one.

Devin: Carrie, a cab's a cab, come on!

[explosion]

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[car backfiring]

Devin: Come on, cabbie, really step on it!

Carrie: Ah!

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Emma: Noah hated cabs. He called them germ incubators. Aw. So Noah. Ugh! I keep falling into Noah dazes. Every once in a while, you might have to slap me.

[smack]

Emma: Ow! I meant when I go into a Noah daze!

Kitty: Hey, if you're gonna be a lawyer, you're gonna have to learn to be more specific. I can see a perfect outline of my hand on your face. Ha ha.

[camera click]

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Geoff: Over there!

[buzz, ding]

Geoff: Ah, it's an Either/Or. "Dune Buggy Bonanza or Magic Show."

Don: Dudes, in this Either/Or, teams can either race dune buggies around this course and collect three flags in under a minute... or perform a classic trick from a Vegas magic show and make a lion disappear for this judge. Complete either task and it's a foot race all the way to--

[lion roars]

Don: Ah! Ah! ...the chill zone. As always, the last team to arrive could be headed home. Empty handed and ashamed.

Geoff: What do you think, dude?

Brody: Dude!

Geoff: Dude!

Brody: Dude...

Brody and Geoff: Dude buggies! Boom.

[buzz, ding]

MacArthur: Punch buggies!

[buzz, ding]

Crimson: Magic.

[buzz]

Josee: Magic.

Jacques: Ah!

[buzz, ding]

Stephanie: Magic.

[buzz, ding]

Emma: Noah would've loved doing the magic show. He-- ugh! Buggies.

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Geoff: Okay, so, we gotta collect three flags in one minute or less. One dude controls the buggy with a remote from that watchtower, the other dude is in the buggy holding on while collecting the flags.

Brody: And try not to crash!

Geoff: I know, right? So awesome! And if the buggy crashes or loses its passenger, we gotta start over.

Brody: Get in, bro, I'll do the remoting!

Geoff: You're letting me do the dangerous part? Best, Friend. Ever!

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Ryan: All right, what do we do?

Stephanie: So the assistant goes into one side of the cage, the lion is in the other. The cage gets covered and the magician puts the lever to the correct position to drop the divider and the lion off the stage. That way, the assistant doesn't get mauled. Let's go. I'll be the magician.

Ryan: Nah, nah. The girl is always the assistant, the man is the magician.

Stephanie: You better hope that dress can fit over your thick head.

Ryan: Aw, come on, Steph, be reasonable.

Stephanie: Says the guy who dumped me on television.

Ryan: Crud.

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Don: [voiceover] As the Cadets and Sisters race ahead to the Don box to choose an Either/Or, Best Friends Carrie and Devin lose valuable ground.

Carrie: Man. this cab is so slow.

Devin: Hey, driver, at the next cactus, turn west!

Cab Driver: Hm.

Devin: [aside] Now that I'm done with my ex, winning this race is all I have left. I'm gonna kick it so far into overdrive, they'll come up with a new word for it. Like doubledrive. Double overdrive? Ooh! Devindrive!

[bang]

Carrie: Ah!

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Brody: Ready, dude?

Geoff: You know it, bro! Drive it like Malibu Street Racer V! Ha ha!

[buggy revs]

[beeping]

Geoff: Woohoo! Whoo! Ha ha!

[engine running]

Geoff: Yes! Ha ha ha!

Brody: [gasps]

Geoff: All right! Nice driving, bro! What's our time?

Brody: Whoa, eighteen seconds! Excellent!

Geoff: [laughs]

Brody: [interview] You know what I hate? When people say video games don't teach you any real life skills!

Geoff: [interview] Totally. Ha ha. Take that, every teacher I never listened to.

Brody: To those people, I say... Did you see how much we killed that challenge? [real time] Dude, I know we should head for the chill zone, but since we're way ahead of everyone else...

Geoff: You wanna go again? Me too!