User:Rainbowderp01/Super Hero-ld (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action... It was every dude and dudette for themselves, as the teams were busted up. But that didn't stop Leshawna from trying to forge a secret alliance with Duncan and Harold.

Harold: There are enough rare tress-killing yellow 1855's in the world to ever make me work with him.

Duncan: You really are such a dork.

Chris: Courtney wowed everybody with her fancy footwork during the first spy challenge. Especially Duncan.

Duncan: [howls]

Chris: The cast made it out of a fake exploding building, but failed to defuse some serious stink bombs, forcing them to de-stink in tomato juice baths. [sighs contently] I love my job. In the end, Courtney and Lindsay got the fabulous reward -- a trip to the local stinky cheese factory!

Lindsay: Oh, I hope there's a cracker factory next door. I love cheese with crackers!

Chris: Will Leshawna's alliance with Duncan and Harold hold? Will Duncan win Courtney back? All this on today's episode of... Total. Drama. Action!

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[ Theme song ]

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Duncan: Hey, Harold. What's that in your pocket?

Harold: Huh? Probably my-- aw, burrito? Sick! Quit picking on me!

Duncan: I wasn't picking on you, I was picking you up something for later. A healthy diet is critical for a growing wimp. You making eyes at me, muchacho?

Harold: Aw, come on!

Justin: Cut it out, you guys. We need to start sticking together?

Duncan: Ha! Kinda like Harold's butt cheeks. You know, with the beans and the sticking?

Justin: Dude, there are four girls and only three of us. We're outnumbered. With Courtney back, it won't be long until the figure it out.

Harold: If they haven't already. The girls are pretty sharp. [lick]

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Lindsay: Ugh. You stink.

[spraying]

Courtney: You stink like feet!

Leshawna: [nose plugged] You kidding me? You're both rank!

Beth: [nose plugged] Who knew a tour of a cheese factory could make you smell so bad?

Lindsay: It's like we somehow brought it home with us. Gouda, anyone?

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Justin: I'm telling ya, if we don't boot one of them, it'll be one of us next.

Duncan: [spits] I hear ya. Chicks are cutthroat.

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Chris: The views of the contestants of Total Drama Action do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this network or parent company. They may, but not necessarily. [chuckles]

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Leshawna: Mm-mm! Girl, this gouda is amazing!

Beth: Good thing I had crackers!

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Duncan: So what do you wanna do?

Justin: About the girls? We need a plan.

Duncan: Since when did you start thinking so much?

Justin: A near-death experience can change a man, Duncan. Once you've lost everything, there's nothing left to lose. Except...

Harold, Duncan, and Justin: The million dollars...

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Chef: [screams like a girl]

Courtney: Let go of me!

Harold: Oh, where are we?

Leshawna: And why is Chef in a nightie?

[heroic music]

Chris and Chef: [scream] Oof!

Chris: I knew that bungee wouldn't hold! That's what happens when production cheaps out! And now my hair's all messed up!

Courtney: Uh, is anyone going to tell us what the heck is going on here?

Chris: When. I. Feel. Like. It. And now... I feel like it. Today's challenges are inspired by the superhero flick.

Leshawna: Today's challenges? Nuh-uh. We just woke up. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet.

Beth: Or had breakfast!

Duncan: I'm going back to bed.

Chris: Evil never sleeps and neither will you. Besides, superheroes don't do the things of mere mortals. They have screaming ladies to rescue.

Harold: Actually, many superheroes are mere mortals. My favorite, the Incredible Owl Man, catches thieves just like mice. But come morning, he puts his pants on one leg at a time. Just like the rest of us.

Chef: Speak for yourself, boy.

Chris: How would you like it if Owl Man scratched your eyes out with his talons? I didn't think so. Now, shut it! There are three things intrinsic to all superhero movies. One, superheroes have superpowers. Two, superheroes save people. And my personal favorite, three, superheroes wear tights. Which means you will all be wearing... [laughs] Teensie tiny tights.

Duncan, Beth, and Harold: [complaining]

Chris: Why are you all in your PJ's? Get dressed and meet me back on set in superhero speed, which means you should already be back here! [chuckles] And make sure to wear something that goes with brightly huge spandex!

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Harold: Thanks for that burrito, Duncan. Now I've got breakfast. [confessional] Beans have a lot of protein. And they're a major source of soluble fiber. Plus, they make you fart. [farts] [laughs] I like beans.

Courtney: Maybe you could use that stench as your superpower, Gorgonzola Girl.

Leshawna: I wouldn't talk, Aged Cheddar Chick.

Courtney: [confessional] I have had it with Leshawna! Aged Cheddar Chick? If I were a cheese, I'd be Caciocavallo Podolico, a rare cheese from Italy or Lancashire. Not aged cheddar.

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Chris: For your first challenge, each of you will create your own superhero identity.

Harold: All right!

Chris: You'll make your own superhero costumes using nothing but your fertile imaginations and tons of spandex.

[backup beep]

Chris: And some other junk. You'll be judged on originality and styled costume, how rocking your superpower is, and how cool your superhero name is. Top score wins an advantage in the next round. Chef will, of course, play the supervillain, which, let's face it, won't be much of a stretch.

[80's hero sting]

Chris: Meet Pythonicus and his sidekick kitty, Dander Boy. They will sabotage you at every turn.

[cat meows]

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Chris: Any questions? No? Perfect. And... action!

Courtney: That one's mine!

Lindsay: I've got it! [confessional] Forget superpowers, Courtney's on a super power trip. [real time] Aw, ugh! Ow.

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[80's hero music]

[scratching]

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