User:Rainbowderp01/Picnic at Hanging Dork (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama World Tour... Area 51. Plucked from space to zap your face! Here, Tyler got into a prickly situation. And he wasn't the only one. Psh, you call those lasers? And that's no dentist chair. You didn't think Owen would actually go to a dentist, did you? In the end, Tyler got the shove and Courtney warned Duncan and Gwen to sleep with both eyes open. Whoa-oh! Who's going to blunder in the land down under? Find out right here, right now on Total. Drama. World Tour!

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[ Theme song ]

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[fingers tapping]

[crunch]

Cody: Mm, mm! The chocolate chips are still gooey! Mm, first class rocks!

Heather: Cookie?

[crunch]

Courtney: [confessional] I am so ready to push Gwen out the door at thirty thousand feet. Ugh, we have got to lose the next challenge. Sierra will vote with me. But it'll take three votes to do the job right. For some reason, Cody still can't see the evil seeping from Gwen's poorly moisturized skin. Ugh, so leaves... [sighs] Heather.

Heather: Hey!

Courtney: Okay, we vote out Gwen next, agreed?

Heather: Not if you're gonna try and make us lose on purpose again.

Courtney: [gasps] I did no such thing. But on the off chance our winning streak does end, I want a guarantee that Pasty McJerkface goes home first. Okay?

Heather: Sure. If you give me a guarantee you won't vote me off instead.

Courtney: Deal.

Heather: [confessional] Of course my fingers were crossed. It's one of the advantages of making deals in the dark.

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Gwen: If I can get Heather on side, the three of us can vote out Courtney.

Cody: If anyone goes, it's Sierra.

Gwen: Oh, Sierra will go. After Courtney.

Cody: She stole all my underwear! I'm down to my swim trunks!

Gwen: She won't vote you out. But Courtney's voting against me for sure.

Cody: Relax, babe. The Code-man's on it. [confessional] All I have to do is make sure we keep winning until Duncan gets booted. Then, maybe Courtney will drop her Gwen vendetta, and my new alliance can get rid of Sierra.

[knock knock]

Sierra: [outside confessional] Cody? You okay in there? [gasps] Did you fall in?!

Cody: [confessional] That only happened once!

[everyone laughs]

Cody: [confessional] [sighs]

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[rat squeaks]

Alejandro: Ugh, loser class again? Pathetic. Men, we must rise from the ashes and ignite the fires of victory.

Duncan: I'm all for starting fires.

Alejandro: The Amazons are only powerful because they have both Courtney and Heather. We need to break them apart. But how?

Owen: Ooh, ooh, ooh! Act like you're crushing on Heather, and she'll go home. Same as Bridgette and Leshawna!

Duncan: Bridgette and Leshawna? I thought I was the only guy that snagged double gold at the Babe Olympics.

Alejandro: Uh, yes. I was truly fond of both. Sadly, the fates were against us. I suppose I could attempt a false seduction, but it goes against the gentleman's code.

Duncan: There's a code for that crud?

Alejandro: And if I seduce Heather, Courtney will remain unaffected. If only we could weaken both at once.

Duncan: Pff, easy. Heather's kinda into you, right? So seduce Courtney.

Alejandro: Of course! If I flirt with Courtney, it will distract both of them from the game at hand, and one will surely vote the other out. Brilliant idea, Duncan.

Duncan: [confessional] [laughs] Man, this could not be more perfect. If Alejandro fails, it's a reason to vote him off. Guy succeeds and Courtney's a goner. That's some win-win action right there.

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Chris: [over PA] All competitors, please move to the common area to prep for landing.

Alejandro: Courtney, we need to talk.

Courtney: Um, whatever Duncan said about me, it isn't true.

Alejandro: Believe me. I never listen to a word he says. In fact, I tried to vote him off.

Courtney: Really?

Alejandro: Any man who cannot perceive your true worth is a fool. What I wouldn't give for a chance to, uh... no. Forgive me. I have said too much.

Duncan: Hook, line, and sinker.

Heather: You all right?

Courtney: Never better.

Heather: [confessional] Al and Courtney? No chance. He's up to something.

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[beeping]

Chef: Uh-oh.

Chris: "Uh-oh" funny or "uh-oh" we're all gonna die?

Chef: The landing gear won't come down.

Chris: How does that happen?!

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[squeaking]

Chris: Today's forecast, clear skies with temperatures of fifty degrees Celsius, or say, three hundred degrees Fahrenheit. And today's landing is gonna be more of a non-landing fly-by. Jump, drop, and roll! Come on! Let's go, go, go!

Owen: Please don't let me land on my kiwis. [grunts] Aw, my kiwis!

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Chris: [Australian accent] G'day, mate. And welcome to Australia. [normal] I call today's challenge "The Marathon of Death". Part one is an emu race all the way into the Blue Mountains. I'm not saying the trip will be dangerous exactly, but with venomous snakes, killer scorpions, and the very real possibility of sunstroke, I hope you all have your affairs in order. Whoever reaches majestic Hanging Rock first will earn a distinct advantage in the second half of the challenge. And yes, I said emu. Bring 'em in, boys!

[emus screeching]

Chris: No saddles. After all, it's supposed to be a challenge. Now, go!

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[emus screeching]

Cody: Ah!

Owen: Ah!

[emu farts]

Owen: [chuckles]

Courtney: [grunts] [acting] Oh no! Ugh! This is tricky! Uh! Oh, I'll never catch one!

Alejandro: Allow me to be of assistance. Oh, forgive me. I know you don't need my help. You need nothing.

Courtney: Well, uh, I wouldn't say that.

Alejandro: Really? Well then, I hope I can be of use.

Duncan: [grunts]

[emu screeches]

Alejandro: Ladies first.

Courtney: Whoa! [hushed] Whoa. Take your time, little fella. Pace yourself.

Duncan: [grunting]

Heather: Looking good, D.

Duncan: What? Hey, come back here!

Alejandro: [confessional] Heather's a masterful adversary indeed. She's never used flirtation before. But, that could not have been true passion in her eyes. Could it?

Gwen: What's with Heather? She's acting like she just realized you're alive.

Duncan: Who knows? She's probably just plotting to kill me.

Alejandro: Come, Duncan! Show the emu that you're the boss!

[emu screeches]

Duncan: Whoa, ah!

Cody: Oops! Sorry!

Duncan: You did that on purpose!

Cody: [blows raspberry]