User:Rainbowderp01/TDA Aftermath IV: Who Wants to Pick a Millionaire? (Transcript)

Geoff: Wha, me? I'm supposed to read that? Oh, okay. Uh, last time on Total Drama Action... our timbers got seriously shivered as Beth and Duncan suffered through the final pirate movie challenge! Whoa, dudes. Looks like that was a blast! They followed that up with a crazy run through every crazy challenge from the whole entire season. And even though Duncan had a massive lead, Beth caught up fast, earning bonus time as the girl who knows everything about everybody. Our heroes were running neck and neck, until a final act of kindness led to a tie. One tie, two competitors. Who's gonna win it? Find out right here and right now on Total. Drama. Action!

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[ Theme song ]

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[audience gasps]

Cody: [gasps]

Leshawna: [gasps]

Geoff: What do we do now?

Duncan: Can somebody please tell me there's a plan here?

Geoff: Nope. But since we're all here together one last time... let's party! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[audience cheers]

Bridgette: [giggles] Geoff and I cut together some sweet footage of everybody from the whole season.

Duncan: What the...

Beth: But what about...?

Geoff: Don't get your shorts in a knot, there's plenty of time to pick a winner. Roll the clip!

[montage music plays]

[multiple sound effects]

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Chris: All right, Sunset Beach, here we come. That was one heck of a long season, if I do say so myself. I've earned this vacay big time.

Chef: Uh-huh.

Man: Hey! Aren't you Chris McLean?

Chris: Busted. You know, I try to keep my ID a secret when I travel, but looks like these are hard to hide.

[ding]

Woman: Chris! Can I have your autograph?

Chris: Nope. But you can let us budge to the front of the line.

Ticket Lady: [squeals] [gasps]

Chris: As for you, you can have my autograph, fine looking lady.

Ticket Lady: [faints]

Bridgette: [on TV] Um, hey you guys. Why don't you come and join us in the winner's... seat.

[audience cheers]

Beth: There's only one chair.

Geoff: Ha ha, yep.

Duncan: [grunts] You think we could at least get another seat?

Geoff: Since Chris took off on vacay, we prepared some never-before-seen clips.

Bridgette: We think this'll help our audience see the real Chris McLean.

Geoff: We're gonna play them later in the show for y'all, but here's a little preview to get you interested.

[Chris]

[falsetto]

I stand against the wall

Waiting for you to ask me to dance

My heart is in your hands

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

[screams like a girl]

Chef: Uh, Chris?

Chris: Shush. I'm scoring us an upgrade.

Chef: You really wanna see this, man. Eh. No!

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Geoff: This is the last time we're gonna see each other, guys. Gettin' a bit choked up here.

Bridgette: Oh, we've had an awesome time together. I'm gonna miss you guys.

Leshawna: Oh, we'll miss you, girl. Now pick a winner so we can all go home.

Geoff: Not before we play our most painful ever season finale all-star version of... That's Gonna Leave a Mark!

Bridgette: Roll clip!

[military march music]

[multiple sound effects]

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[cars honking]

Chris: You call this driving? What are you doing?!

Chef: Well, Chris, when a lot of cars are stuck on the same road, it's called traffic.

Chris: We have to get there now! Those kids are destroying my show!

Chef: And you're destroying my vacation, so maybe we're even.

Chris: Dude, I want a third season! If they mess this up, we could get cancelled! Do you understand?!

Chef: What do you want me to do? Engage the wing button and fly the car?!

Chris: I bet Ryan Seacrest's driver would be able to fly the car!

Chef: Ugh!

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Geoff: [voiceover] It's a bird. It's a plane. It's incredibly painful! [laughs]

Duncan: [groans] Just end this, just give one of us that colossal stack of cash!

Beth: Just give all the money to me.

Duncan: Uh, no?

Beth: It was worth a try.

Courtney: Stop! I've got a plan. I've devised a completely unbiased way to find the winner. A quiz show that will determine who gets the million.

All: Lame!

[audience laughs]

Izzy: What's he doing?

[construction noises]

Harold: As a founding member of Inventive Steve's Junior Inventors Gizmo League, I've been behind many an ingenious contraption in my life. To emerge victorious, Duncan and Beth will have to contort their bods to fit through these specially shaped holes. It's brilliant, really.

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Chris: Turn left here! Now go right! Left again! Now go straight ahead!

Chef: Love the shortcut. You gonna get a new job as a GPS?

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Harold: Prepare to contort!

[audience applauds]

Duncan: This is the stupidest thing I've ever been a part of and I've been on this show for two seasons.

Beth: I never thought I'd miss Chris.

Duncan: But it is a million bucks.

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[intense music]

Beth: [grunts]

Geoff: [gasps]

[audience cheers]

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[audience cheers]

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[music continues]

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Bridgette: It's neck and neck, Geoff.

Geoff: Speaking of which, wanna neck?

Bridgette: Sure.

Geoff and Bridgette: [kissing]

Bridgette: Oh no. Too bad, Beth.

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Geoff: This could be it, folks! Is Duncan our million dollar winner?!

[crash]

Geoff: Ooh, it's a tie.

Eva: Make a decision! I'm bored! And you know what happens when I'm bored?

Geoff: Looks like it's time for some embarrassing never-before-seen footage of Chris McLean!

Bridgette: Once you've seen this side of Chris, he'll never be the same again.