User:Rainbowderp01/The Treasure Island of Dr. McLean (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island... the players went on an impromptu environmental coverup-- er, cleanup challenge, and tried not to get a toxic makeover like Dakota. Mike introduced us to Manitoba Smith, his most rugged and arrogant persona yet. Freak-zekiel had slightly more luck with the ladies than human-zekiel. And Brick overcame his fear of the dark to heroically save his former team, which made his current team give him the old heave-ho! Makes you wanna reflect, don't it? Maybe with a cup of Chris McLean Instant Coffee. [sips] [spits] Bitter-- better! Better than the rest!

[fish vomits]

Chris: Who will survive? Who will wish they didn't? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Revenge of the Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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[all snoring]

[alarm rings]

Mutant Maggots: Ah!

Mike: What? Where are we?

Zoey: No! Chris must've set us adrift after we went to sleep!

Scott: Yeah. Wait, I don't remember anything after dinner.

Cameron: Dinner! That's it!

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[flashback]

Cameron: Ew! What is this?

Chef: Turkey Buttalini. Enjoy your nap! Uh... meal. [chuckles]

[flashback ends]

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Cameron: Turkey makes you sleepy. So mutant turkey must've knocked us out cold! Genius!

Lightning: [snoring] Lightning wins the Super Bowl! Yeah!

Jo: Wakey, wakey, Muscle Mouth!

Lightning: Whoa! What? Wha...? Where'd the cabin go?

Scott: Great. Now we're gonna be some stupid shark's dinner.

Mike: Ah, don't worry. He'll never find us in the middle of all this junk. Hey, sweet hat! [deep inhale] [as Manitoba] Oo-wee, g'day, Sheila. Aren't you the ridgy-didge.

Cameron: [gasps]

Mike: [chuckles]

Zoey: [screams]

Cameron: Deep breath, Mike.

Mike: [deep inhale] [as himself] Thanks, buddy.

Zoey: [coughs] Hey!

Cameron: Sorry! Heh, I-I tripped. Heh heh. [confessional] Mike and I have a deal. I help him stay Mike so he can win Zoey over and he helps me to convince her to turf Scott.

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Cameron: [confessional] I've already decoded Mike's personality triggers. Whenever he loses his shirt, Vito comes out.

Mike: [deep inhale]

[as Vito]

Put ya hands up

Put ya, put ya hands up!

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Cameron: [confessional] In an acrobatically challenging environment, he becomes Svetlana.

Mike: [deep inhale]

[cockroach hisses]

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Cameron: [confessional] When he gets frustrated, Chester appears.

Mike: [deep inhale] [as Chester] Dang fool kids, leaving rocks every which-wheres! Ugh! [screams] Dagnabbit!

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Cameron: [confessional] And we just saw Manitoba Smith in his fedora. But I still don't know how to consistently bring Mike back. This would be so much easier if I could just dissect his brain.

Zoey: You know, out of all your characters, I like you being Mike the best.

Mike: What? You do?

Zoey: Sure. But you make it so hard to get to know you. The way you're always playing characters, it, it feels like you're hiding from me.

Mike: We're not! I mean, I'm not! Heh.

Dakota: You got any sunblock? [confessional] This is so not how I wanted to get back on the show! Now that my looks are on hold, I need an ally. If only Sam were here. He was so dedicated! Zoey's the only person I'd be seen with in public, post make-over. So I guess it's time to start the "friend-ing" process? Is that what it's called?

[beeping]

Chris: Morning, suckers! How'd you enjoy your Turkey Buttalini?

Dakota: Hey, Chris, how many times did you call your mommy today? I had no idea that Tobasco was used as a thumb-sucking deterrent until I started interning for Sippy-Cup McLean.

Chris: Uh...

Dakota: What? What are you all staring at?

Mike: Uh... your hair is already growing back!

Dakota: [gasps] Really? Yay! Um... when did you all get shorter?