User:Rainbowderp01/Last Tango in Buenos Aires (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... Sanders wore her new cast, and the pants as MacArthur let her take charge of all team decisions. Devin told the Sisters the truth about his feelings for Carrie. Sometimes the truth hurts. Maybe next time, he should tell Carrie. The evil axis lived up to its name and quickly fell apart, evilly. The Haters fell back in love and returned to being the Daters, right before they became the losers and got sent home. We're down to our final four teams, battling it out for one million dollars. Who will survive the next set of challenges? Time to find out here on... The Ridonculous Race.

[ding]

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[Theme song ]

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Don: Welcome back to Darjeeling, India, where yesterday's winners-- Sisters, Emma and Kitty-- are about to recieve today's first tip.

[buzz, ding]

Emma: We're going to Argentina.

Kitty: Auto-photo!

[camera click]

Don: The capital of Argentina, Buenos Aires, is a world-class city, famous for its love of fútbol, theater, and delicious red meat. Once teams land, they'll find the Don box at the airport with their next tip. Mm, not bad.

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Best Friends, Cadets, and Ice Dancers: Drive!

Don: [voiceover] Tips in hand, all three teams are now racing to the airport to get seats on the next flight out.

Sanders: Looks like the Sisters are in the lead. They're strong competitors, but all I wanna do is get rid of those annoying Ice Dancers.

MacArthur: Leave them to me. I know how to make people hurt! Sorry again.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Carrie: How's your ankle?

Devin: Totally fine. I bet today, nothing goes wrong.

Carrie: Oh, don't say that. Ugh, now something is guaranteed to go wrong.

[clunk]

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Josee: Ugh! Faster! If the other teams catch an earlier flight, I'm going to do something bad! Very bad!

Jacques: You know you can't crash airplanes with your mind, right?

Josee: No, Jacques, I don't know that! Do you?!

[taxi zooms]

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[tires screech]

Sanders: Come on! Move it!

MacArthur: Ugh! A lineup! Great.

Josee: Hurry up! Get us in the sky!

Kitty: Oh, don't mind them. They're our friends and they're just worried they won't get their usual seats at the very back of the plane. Do you think you could save those seats for them?

Don: [voiceover] All the teams are now on the same flight. But two of them almost wish they weren't.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[toilet flushes]

Sanders: Ugh, sitting beside the bathrooms is the worst. Ugh!

MacArthur: It was the Sisters! They sweet-talked the ticket guy into sticking us with the worst seats on the entire plane!

Jacques: Oh come on! How long is this flight to Buenos Aires?

Josee: Twenty-four hours. Those Sisters are toast.

[fart]

Cadets and Ice Dancers: [retch]

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Devin: [sips]

Carrie: I don't think I've ever seen you drink tea.

Devin: Ah, just tense. Heh. A little. Just uh, figured, you know, tea. Ha ha. [aside] I'm in love with Carrie, but every time I try to tell her, I get all tongue tied and bail. I just have to do it. Today is the day. [real time] Anywho, uh, here's the thing.

Carrie: There's a thing?

Devin: Yeah, I guess. Ha! I just, I-I'm kinda, I just, I just need to say something, and [screams] Hot! Hot!

Carrie: Oh! Um...

Devin: [squeals] Cold! Cold!

Carrie: [gasps] Sorry!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Kitty: Have you told her yet?

Devin: I-I wanted to, but I got nervous and--

Kitty: And you peed yourself?

Devin: No. I tead myself.

Kitty: Devin, you need to tell her.

Devin: [gulps]

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Don: [voiceover] Our teams arrive in Buenos Aires, and the Sisters take an early lead.

Emma: There's the Don box!

[buzz, ding]

Kitty: It's an All In. "Tango Takedown"?

Don: For this All In challenge, teams must head here, to the National Academy of Tango, to learn and then perform this passionate Argentinian dance. One misstep means starting over. But get a thumbs up from this local tango instructor whose name I never learned, and it's another cab ride to... this ranch, where they'll find the Don box with their next tip. Normally, I hate it when you dress them up, but this one, I love.

[tires squeal]

Josee: A tango challenge?

Jacques: [laughs] See, we are ice dancers.

Josee: If you take the word "ice" away from that, what are you left with?

Jacques: Dancers.

Josee: Ha! Why not just hand us the million dollars?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Sanders: I'm worried about this challenge. I'm not much of a dancer.

MacArthur: Don't worry. I'm a great dancer. Just hang on tight, 'cause I'm gonna twirl you like a human baton!

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[tango music]

Devin: The tango. Isn't that kind of a romantic dance? [aside] My ex Shelley made me take dance lessons and we got pretty good at the tango. At the end, there's always a dip. Perfect time to make my move. The grand gesture. The--

MacArthur: [aside] Yeah, yeah, the kiss! We get it! It's about time! Just do it already!

Emma: [aside] Kitty and I will be fine. We used to dance together all the time when we were kids.

Kitty: [aside] And to help Emma get ready for prom, which worked out, 'cause when no boys asked her, we went together.

Emma: [aside] Kitty!

Kitty: [aside] Oops.

Emma: Okay, here we go.

Kitty: One, two, three, oh.

Emma: Ow!

[buzzer]

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[tango music]

[clap]

[ding]

[clapping]

Best Friends, Cadets, and Sisters: [complaining]

Josee: Good luck catching up! [laughing]

Sanders: [interview] This is bogus! A dance challenge when one of the teams just happens to be dancers?

MacArthur: [interview] Yeah. Why hasn't there been a "chase a bad guy for three blocks, tackle him, cuff him to a fence while you go back and look for your sandwich" challenge, for example.

[tango music]

Sanders: We're not graceful like Jacques and Josee, so we gotta bring some serious energy to this. Agreed?

MacArthur: Eight hundred percent.

[hip hop music]

[instructor retches]

MacArthur: And... dip!

Sanders: Ow!

[buzzer]

MacArthur: Crud! [interview] What was wrong with that? Judge needs to open his eyes!

Sanders: [interview] He couldn't. We were sitting on him.

Devin: Okay. Just maintain eye contact and follow my lead.

Carrie: Whatever you say, homie.

[tango music]

Carrie: Oh!

Devin: [gasps] Carrie!

MacArthur: Oh! Right in the old sniffer.