User:Rainbowderp01/Saving Private Leechball (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama All-Stars... Our heroes and villains went digging for buried treasure, and uncovered a few nasty surprises. Heh heh. Scott villained it up big time trying to sabotage the heroes. And, when he got caught, he didn't take it so well. But in the end, the Heroic Hamsters were victorious, and Lightning, fresh from a hungry night of exile on Boney Island made enough Boney-headed moves to get the royal flush from his teammates. Twelve competitors remain. Which one of them will ride the sewer system next? Find out right now on Total. Drama. All-Stars!

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[ Theme song ]

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Duncan: Ugh. I'd almost forgotten about these crud-tacular cabins.

Alejandro: [sighs] Let us hope it is our only visit.

Scott: Ow! I miss the hotel. Now that I know how rich people live, everything I like sucks!

[crash]

[sproing]

Scott: Ah! Lousy discount bed! [screams]

Duncan: [confessional] Scott's okay. At least with him, you know what you're getting, which is crud. But still, nice to know.

Alejandro: Well, good night, gentleman.

[zip]

Alejandro: [sighs] [confessional] After a year in that robot suit, I find it difficult to sleep if I'm all "spread out".

Heather: Thanks again for blowing the challenge, Jo.

Jo: Me? You're the one who wasted time arguing instead of digging!

Heather: I wouldn't have needed to argue if everyone just did what I told them to do. I'm the one with the most experience on this team.

Gwen: It's everyone's fault for not working together as a team! Now cram it! I am trying to sleep! [confessional] [gasps] Did that sound villainous? I-I didn't mean to be harsh, but, ooh, "Bunking with the Bickersons" is driving me bonkers!

[owl hoots]

Butler: Shh, sir.

[owl hoots dejectedly]

Sierra: There you go, Cody Bear. All tucked in. Today was a great day. I made some new friends, and I helped win our first challenge. Aw, he'd be so proud. Sweet dreams. Mwah!

Courtney: [sighs] Weirdo.

Mike: [sighs loudly] Oh yeah! Ha ha, this is the life.

Cameron: Yeah, but I feel a little guilty looking at Sam's empty bed. I hope he's okay over on Boney Island.

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Sam: [panting] Phew. Heh. That was too close. Right, little guy? Ow! Whoa! [screaming] I can't bear it!

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Cameron: [snoring]

[zip]

Mike: [as Mal] [chuckles] Perfect.

[snap]

Mike: [deep inhale] [as himself] What the... how did I... [gasps] Oh no!

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Cameron: Oh! I've never seen eggs so perfectly hard-boiled! The odds are ten trillion to one!

Mike: Maple... bacon? Ha ha! Let's never lose again!

Courtney: It's not all perfect. Hey, butler? I've got a problem. This juice is at least five percent too pulpy. I thought you were supposed to cater to our every... oh. That was fast. But I'm sure it won't be... [sips] perfect.

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Attention, campers! Forest recon in five! Over!

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Heather: Listen, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. You're right. Teamwork is key. Apology accepted?

Gwen: Wow. Sure.

Heather: [confessional] Teamwork? Ugh, don't make me barf. I am still gonna take control.

Jo: Okay, you were right. Teamwork is the way. Truce?

Gwen: Uh, sure.

Jo: [confessional] And getting Gwen on my side is the best way to do it.

Heather: [confessional] After all, where Gwen goes...

Jo: [confessional] Duncan follows.

Gwen: [confessional] I know they're both trying to play me. And I love it! For once, I've actually got a little power around here. Go, Team Gwen! [real time] Ugh. Courtney's glaring at me again. Can't you make her stop?

Duncan: Love to, but right now, I'm blanking her like she's blanking me, so no can do. But let me know if you catch her looking my way.

Gwen: [sighs]

Alejandro: If you were my girlfriend, I wouldn't let anyone gaze at you, lest they spoil your ethereal beauty! Just something to consider. [confessional] Heather and Jo are trying to lure Gwen into an alliance, and I intend to beat them to it. Then I'll be the one that Heather needs. Heh heh. Uh, um, and Jo. Heather and Jo. Heh.

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Chris: At ease, soldiers. Let's all welcome back exiled Hamster, Sam!

Zoey: Hey, Sam. How was exile?

Sam: Aside from the blinding hunger and bear attacks, pretty good actually. Oof. Oh...

Mike: Don't worry, buddy. We smuggled you breakfast.

Sam: You bots are expert level awesome. Mm. Maple bacon power pellets.

Sierra: Courtney, what did you bring Sam?

Courtney: [confessional] No one told me we were doing that.

Chris: Welcome to today's experiment with your pain thresholds. [chuckles] Get ready for an ingenius twist on the war movie challenge from season two. There are two weapon caches in the heart of this forest. The big one is filled with state-of-the-art paintball weaponry. And the little one has a bunch of cruddy old paintball slingshots. Whoever gets there first gets their pick, and then you've gotta pick off the competition.

Courtney: Looking forward to it.

Chris: You get one point for each opponent you splatter. First team to six points wins and one of the losers will get a dishonorable discharge tonight. Flush o' Shame styles.

Duncan: [sighs] Paintball again? Ooh, original. What a twist.

Chris: Oh yeah, that. One of the conditions ofmy parole is that I can't use or be around hard projectiles like paintballs, so... instead, you'll be using... leeches!