User:Rainbowderp01/Not Without My Fudgy Lumps (Transcript)

[ Theme song ]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[kids hum theme]

Chef: Kids, this nice lady is here to fix my back. She's a chiropractor.

Owen: Chiro-what-a?

Noah: Chiropractors are like doctors who just never went to medical school.

MacArthur: Let's go, big fella!

Chef: Ah-ha-ha-ha! Ow! I'll be right in my office.

Owen: [gasps] Oh no! My fudgy lumps!

Bridgette: Fudgy lumps?

Noah: They're Owen's favorite candy because they combine his two favorite things: fudge and lumps.

Owen: Fudgy lumps!

[splash]

Owen: [warbled] Fudgy lumps!

Noah: If Owen doesn't find them soon, it's gonna get pretty ugly. Like, really fast!

Owen: Fudgy lumps! Where are you?! [panting]

Noah: See what I mean?

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Chef: [grunting]

[bones cracking]

MacArthur: Wow, Chef. You're tighter than a Bon Jovi cover band. How did this even happen?

Chef: Well...

[crack]

Chef: Nnghh!

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[flashback]

Chef: [voiceover] I started my day with a morning vacuuming, then I worked out...

Chef: 254!

Chef: [voiceover] Then I brushed my teeth.

[crack]

Chef: Ow!

[flashback ends]

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MacArthur: Oh, dental hygiene. The most dangerous game of all.

[crack]

Chef: Ooh! [screams]

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Owen: [hyperventilating]

Noah: Hey, hey, hey. Shh, it's okay. You're okay. Let's just retrace your steps and we'll find them.

Owen: Okay. [inhales] [voiceover] I showed up at school, I went to visit the goldfish, then to the bathroom to dry off... then went outside to play! Then I came back inside clapping my hands and carrying nothing! [normal] Oh, where could my fudgy lumps be?!

Noah: So it sounds like you left your fudgy lumps outside.

Owen: [gasps] Stay strong, fudgy lumps! I'm a-comin'! Oof! Oof! Oof!

[squeak]

Owen: No! [groans] Is this door an innie or an outie? Somebody help me!

Duncan: It's locked! The pool noodle's too soft, it'll just bounce off and-- yep.

Owen: Ah!

Duncan: Plastic chairs aren't strong enough to-- see?

Owen: This isn't over!

Duncan: I've tried every possible way to escape this daycare. Nothing worse than watching an amateur try it.

Owen: I'm gonna ram the door! [groans]

Izzy: I'll go get Chef. He'll be able to open the door.

MacArthur: Okay, on three. One!

[crack]

Chef: Ah! What happened to two and three?! [crying]

Izzy: Chef? Are you in there?!

[loud cracking]

Chef: [screams]

Izzy: Chef says that Chef's not in his office.

Owen: Ah! [faints]

Duncan: I can get you outside, but it's gona cost you.

Owen: Anything! Anything for my fudgies! Um, I got six cents and a piece of lightly chewed gum!

Duncan: I don't want your secondhand gum.

Owen: I said lightly chewed. Lightly!

Duncan: I want a cut of the fudgy lumps.

Owen: [gasps] No deal! Never!

Noah: Owen, pal! You need to see this!

Owen: [gasps] No! Get away from my fudgy lumps! Go, no! Don't! Hey, you stop that! Ah! Ah!

Noah: [confessional] I'm not sure why, but Owen's always had incredibly bad luck with squirrels.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[flashback]

[joyful music]

Owen: Ah!

Owen: [chuckles] Ah!

Owen: Yeah! Woohoo! Ah!

[flashback ends]

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Owen: For the love of s'mores, please stop! [gasps] A snake! Snake! Stop that squirrel, please! Stop him! Oh no! Now they both got a taste for the lumps! I will share my fudgy lumps with anyone who helps me get them back!

Duncan: Everyone, meet me in the play castle! I got a plan to get us outside!

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Duncan: If you guys help me finish this tunnel, we can rescue Owen's fudgy lumps, and he'll share them with us!

Bridgette, Harold, Izzy, and Jude: [cheer]

[kids hum montage music]

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Owen: Ah!

[digging]

Bridgette: I see the light! [gasps] We made it outside! Hooray!

Harold, Izzy, and Jude: [cheer]

[crack]

Duncan: Amateurs.

Owen: They've eaten half the box! They don't even look like they're enjoying them anymore! We need a new plan. Now!

Izzy: Hey, I have an idea! Why don't I borrow Chef's phone, hack into the Defense Department, steal one of their drones, fly it here, pick up the chocolates, and drop them through the skylight!

[blinking]

Noah: Okay then. Anyone else have a plan?

Chef: Ah, boy, do I feel great. What are you kids looking at?

Bridgette: We're watching a squirrel eat all of Owen's fudgy lumps.

Chef: Well, that's not good news. Let's go rescue those chocolates!

Bridgette, Duncan, Harold, Izzy, Noah, and Owen: [cheer]

Chef: Oh yeah! Super Chef to the rescue! Ah! My ankle! My knee! Hip! Back! Shoulder! Neck! Brain! Ah!

MacArthur: Just wanted to say by-- [gasps]

Chef: Ah...

MacArthur: Okay, guess we start all over again!

Chef: Please, no. Ah! Being a hero to children every day isn't easy. But it's what I do. Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ah!

Owen: [gasps] There goes my last chance. I'll never taste the sweet waxy yumminess of a fudgy lump again.

Izzy: Good news! I'm in!

Noah: In what?

Izzy: I told you, silly. I hacked the password and borrowed a military drone! I told to come here stat.

Bridgette: Izzy, it's a really cute idea, but not even an adult could do that.

Izzy: Oh yeah? Then what's that?

Harold: Hey, I see a drone!

Owen: Oh, thank you, Izzy, thank you!

[drone blades whirring]

Harold: Whoa.

[thunk]

Noah: How did you do that?

Izzy: Not totally sure. But boy, is it fun to fly!

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Female Soldier: One of our drones has been hacked!

Male Soldier: Details?

Female Solider: The hackers phone is listed to a... Norbert.

Male Soldier: Norbert? Hm. I'm not familiar with that operative. Is that... a box of fudgy lumps?

Female Soldier: It is, sir.

Male Soldier: Dark or milk chocolate?

Female Soldier: Dark, sir.

Male Soldier: Time to send in the troops!

[alarm blares]

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[whirring]

Noah: Okay, okay. A little to the left. No no, no no no. Other left! Other left!

Izzy: Ohh, you mean right.

Noah: Now she knows what other left means?

[crash]

[all gasp]

Izzy: Whoo, this is fun! [laughs] I gotta get me one of these!

Harold: Oh no!

Duncan: More right!

Bridgette: Back a bit.

Harold: Careful!

[squirrel chitters]

[all scream]

Izzy: Whoopsie! Oh man, this is fun to fly! I'm totally asking Santa for one of these.

[crash]

Harold: Run!

Male Soldier: Freeze!

[all grunt]

Izzy: [giggles]

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MacArthur: Aw, crud. I'm busted.I got no chiropractor license.

Chef: I had a feeling.

MacArthur: But they're not taking me down without a fight! Ah! [grunts]

Noah: Owen! The door's open!

Owen: I'm coming, fudgy lumps!

Izzy: So awesome! Ha ha ha! Whee! Oops. Whoo! Ooh, what a pretty red button.

Robot Voice: Military drone deactivated.

[beep]

Owen: Fudgy lumps! Uh-oh...

[all scream]

[crash]

Owen: Ah!

Izzy: Cool! Wonder what this one does!

Chef: What the heck is going on here?

Izzy: Hehe!

Robot Voice: Initiating self-destruct drive. Have a nice day.

[explosion]

Izzy: Whoa... cool! Here's your phone, Chef.

Male Soldier: You're under arrest, Norbert.

Chef: I-I swear, I haven't touched my phone all day! I'm innocent! Ah! My back!

Izzy: Bye, Norbert!

Bridgette: I know how much you were looking forward to eating those, Owen.

Owen: Farewell, fudgy lumps.

Noah: Sorry we couldn't save them, buddy.

Owen: It's okay. I got another box in my lunch.

Noah: I should've seen that coming.

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Owen: So, I guess I could've told everyone that I had another box of fudgy lumps and avoided all that chaos and destruction, but even if I had, I never would've known how much my friends love me!

Izzy: I committed a federal offense for you!

Owen: Yes, you did. Thanks, Izzy!

Izzy: Anytime!

Owen: And now, I'm going to enjoy this box all the more!

[squirrels chatter]

Owen: No!

[kids hum credits]