User:Rainbowderp01/Lies, Cries and One Big Prize (Transcript)

Chris: Previously on Total Drama... Shawn, Sugar, and Sky created their own challenges. Sky came up with hurdles, Shawn jumped 'em, Sugar collected 'em. Shawn's treetop race was more entertaining than a sawing monkey. Not only did Sugar win, she had flung doing it. [chuckles] So it all came down to Sugar's challenge. A talent show. Sheriff Sky belch blasted targets to bits. We were all moved by Shawn's armpit opera. And when Sugar combined rap and country music... wellm it was something I will never forget. See ya! Ha ha. Down to two from three, 'cause now we're Sugar-free. But it'll still be sweet to see who gets beat. So grab a seat. There's one million bucks on the line! It's finale time! On Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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Sky: Ah, sleep. Come on, sleep! [confessional] Ugh, what is going on? I've never had trouble sleeping before a big competition. The only difference this time is that I can win a million dollars. Yeah. It's probably the money. I bet Shawn's having the same problem.

Shawn: [snoring] [chuckling] [confessional] [snoring] Huh? Whoa? Wha? Hoo! Training myself to sleep with my eyes open. I read that you still take in info and alert your brain to wake you up if there's danger. That'd come in pretty handy during a nighttime zombie attack. Or if you fall asleep riding your bike. [real time] [snoring] Danger! Ow! [grunts] [confessional] Totally works.

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[airhorn blares]

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Sky and Shawn, meeting area, now!

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Chris: Yes. Today, I fire one of you from a cannon, and then start my vacation.

Sky: And you'll hand one of us a million dollars. I haven't forgotten, Sky. I'm just focusing on the parts that bring me the most joy. Okay?

Shawn: Have you decided yet what the challenge is that which I'll win with... be?

Sky: Wow. English much? Boom!

Shawn: Ha! I am so do English much! Aw, man.

Chris: If I may continue... your final challenge is so demanding, the lawyers insisted each of you get a helper. Eh. It's not a horrible idea. Maybe they'll be able to help us find your bodies. So, which of the past contestants would you like as a helper?

Sky: [confessional] Jasmine has the best skill set, but she likes Shawn, so I can't trust her to help me win. Hmm...

Shawn: [confessional] My prefence based strictly on physical ability, Jasmine, Rodney, Dave, Samey, Topher, Scarlett, Amy, Max, Beardo, Sugar. Anyone but Leonard.

Sky: I choose Rodney!

Chris: Choose? [chuckles] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Shawn: But you asked us who we would--

Chris: I know. I asked you who you wanted. I did that to be mean. [chuckles] Your helpers will be selected thusly. When you press this button, the possible helpers will flash across the screen. Whoever's face it stops on, is your helper.

Shawn and Sky: Ugh!

Sky: Can we decline to use a helper?

Chris: No, but you do get one chance to pass and spin again, just to make things interesting. Who goes first will be decided by a coin toss.

Shawn: Ow!

Chris: Shawn wins! Let's see who you get, zombie boy.

Shawn: Yes! No. Yes! No. Oh... woohoo! Jasmine? Sweet! I'll stick with her!

Chris: Sky, you're up. Dave!

Sky: [confessional] [groans] [real time] Things ended pretty badly, so um, maybe I'll just try again.

Chris: Are you worried he won't help you because you rejected his love in front of everyone and then failed to even say goodbye to him after he sacrificed himself for you?

Chris: No more chances. What you get is what you get. And your helper will be... Dave! Wow. What are the odds? [chuckles]

Sky: Ugh, are you kidding me?

Chris: Sky gets Dave and Shawn gets Jasmine.

[helicopter whirs]

Shawn: Aw! There was a flippy screen that landed on you and was like, bam! Yes! Totally.

Jasmine: Totally.

Dave: Did you... land on me right away too?

Sky: Uh...

Chris: Oh, Dave. Ha ha... Funny story.

Sky: Chris, please don't.

Chris: Sky landed on you, took another spin, landed on you again, and then whined. Kinda like this. [mocking Sky] "Ugh, are you kidding me?"

Dave: Sorry you got stuck with me. I'll... I'll try not to get in your way!

Jasmine: [snorts and laughs] This'll be like taking candy from a very sad baby.

Sky: [confessional] Me against Shawn was fine. But Shawn and Jasmine? To have any shot of winning, I need Dave to be at his best. I gotta do something!

Sky and Dave: [kissing]

Dave: What was... why... you... kissed me!

Sky: I passed on you because I wanted to focus on the challenge. That's hard when your teamed up with someone you wanna go on a date with.

Dave: You wanna go on a date with me?

Sky: Can you help me win this challenge?

Dave: You bet I can!

Chris: [confessional] [mocking Sky] I am like so confused about what the what with Sky and Dave. I mean, like, what? [real time] Ahem! Reunion's over? Good. Time for your final challenge! I have endearingly titled it "The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Death!"

Dave: I-Is it dangerous?

Chris: [sighs] The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Dangerous Death!

Dave: [hushed, to Sky] It's gonna be dangerous.

Sky: [confessional] He was brighter before, wasn't he?

Chris: Since Scarlett went crazy and changed the island completely by wreaking havoc in the secret underground control room...

Dave: Um...

Chris: No time to explain, Dave. We've yet to explore all the wonderful and bizarre dangers that the island's new landscape has to offer!