User blog:Gertrude141/TDPI: "A Blast From the Past" Review

A Blast From the Past
So we open with some crazy green monster coming out of the water. It's either Chef, or a mutant from the Fun Zone. This looks like a job for MYSTERY INCORPORATED. Shawn sounds exactly like Shaggy in his confessional, so he can take that role. Scarlett can be Velma, Topher can be Fred, Samey can be Daphne, and Scooby...well that role can be filled by Max, snce his brain is smaller than a dog's testicles. Sky and Dave forage in the morning (FINALLY SOME NEW PEOPLE ARE DOING IT) and Dave pretends as though he was listening. Sky talks about her sister and how she ALMOST made it onto the Canadian Olympic team for Rhythmic Gymnastics (failure). Dave, being the bird brain that he is, questions that as a sport. I man, okay, you can say that about cheerleading (which obvs isn't a sport), but NOT about gymnastics. Douchebag.

Sky responds to this with extreme anger. Will she be the new Eva? Will be become Commando Sky? IDK. Dave confesses his love, and when Sky tries to get away from the creeper, he just keps on going. SHUT UP DAVE.

So the contestants walk to the challenge and Ella tries to read a poem she wrote for Sugar. ELLA, GIVE UP. I LOVE YOU GIRL, BUT SUGAR WILL NEVER BEFRIEND YOU. APPROACH JASMINE INSTEAD. Sugar replies to this friendship poem with her own take:

Sugar: "Roses are red, manure is brown, GET OUT MY FACE."

Sky only worsens the problem by convincing Ella that Sugar needs her support. WHY, SKY? Hmm...maybe Sky is the antagonist? Anyway Max comes up with a new catchphrase: "Time to EVIL!" as I look for a gun to shoot myself with. LOL JK I'm not American, so I don't have guns in my house. Thankfully, he is injured by Topher's back and we get a glimpse at the NEW CHRIS. WITH BOTOX. He looks creepy and gross. Like Sugar's buttcrack.

Of course, Topher compliments Chris and can't figure out that he had BOTOX. Because of all the crazy words Topher says, Sugar believes the challenge is to "make up kooky words". Ella acts fake to Sugar and joins in.

Ella: "My turn...cat!"

Nice try, Ella. Topher complains that he may never get to host. IF HE HOSTED I WOULD PROBABLY KILL MYSELF, SO LET'S HOPE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN...Fred. When is Daphne gonna speak? We need her input to figure out the case of the green monster! Chris announces the challenge where they have to use dueling sticks to create 3 X's after knocking their opponent in the water. Sounds like a challenge you would see on Survivor, so I'm interested.

Samey: "If anyone gets my hair wet, they're dead!"

Where is Leshawna when you need her? She needs to throw this b**ch into that water. It's opnly now that everyone is wondering where Shagg-Shawn is. Apparently he is off rubbing fish guts on himself. SO much better than helping your team...Chris threatens to auto-eliminate him if he doesn't show up for the challenge. In that case, Leshawna and Izzy should've been eliminated during That's Off the Chain, but whatevs. IT'S GAME TIME.

Ella tells Sugar how much she wanted to see her in a bathing suit...it would be pretty sexy. Up first we have Topher and Dave. Shut up, Toph. The two just run past eachother. LOL THEY SUCK. Next is Daphne vs. Sugar. "Amy" pretends she is hitting Amy,  while Sugar pretends to hit Ella.

Chris: "Release scuba bear."

Oh damn. Amy completes Kinosewak's first X, as Scooby and Velma come up with an EVIL plan. Of course Velma comes up with the plan. Velma grabs an eel and throws it to Max as he shocks Ella and scores another point for Kinosewak. Meanwhile, Sugar is ROFLing. LOL.

COMMERCIAL TIME.

We get back to Ella being helped out of the water and Sky is pissed because it was un-sportsman-like. Sky yells at Scarlett for cheating and shows some Leshawna sass in the confessional. Scarlett pwns that girl. #ScarlettFever does it again! And so Kinosewak now has two X's, so it looks hopeless for Maskwak. As DJ would say, "oh s**t" as Dave goes up against our favourite amazon, Jasmine. Luckily for Dave, she is preoccupied with Shawn and takes one for the team. FINALLY MASKWAK HAS THEIR FIRST X. 

Shaggy is a little overboard this episode, but Chef takes care of that and takes him back tot he challenge.

Sky: "Sticking it to them, pun intended!"

Sky is looking to be the new Jo with her crazy one-liners. JK NOBODY WILL EVER REPLACE JO. Sky is pissed at Ella for touching Dave's shoulder (YOU'RE NOT DATING B**CH). Scuba Bear is about to maul Ella (much to Sugar's enjoyment), but Chris continues with his streak animal abuse and Scuba Bear goes after HIM instead. Shawn is back. Jasmine considers throwing the challenge, because she is an antagonist.

Shawn vs. Jasmine. FIGHT. SHAWN ABUSES HIS SOON-TO-BE GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE HE IS STUPID AND THOUGHT SHE WAS A ZOMBIE. WTF, MAN? So our final duel is Sugar vs. Daphne. When all of a sudden...Zeke? No, that's not Zeke, AMY comes flying out of the water, looking like a green monster. '''OMG THAT IS IT. DAPHNE SOLVED THE MYSTERY USING MORE THAN JUST HER BOOBS. SHE DISCOVERS THAT IT IS AMY.''' The two pull eachother's hair as Sugar wins for Maskwak. YEAH, GURL.

After the challenge, Max calls Scarlett a sidekick, which rages her. S**T'S GOIN' DOWN. Jasmine yells at Shawn, because she is an antagonist.

Jasmine: "It's time to get ruthless!"

Ladies and gentlemen, the revelation our antagonist. At elimination, Chris threatens to DQ Ella if she sings again. NOOOO. And the marshmallows to go to...Scooby, Fred and Velma!! Which means it's down to Daphne and...Jasmine? Yeah, Shaggy's on the other team. Which means Daphne, aka Samey, is eliminated...even though she's the one who solved the mystery of Feral Amy. Samey tries to pull another switcheroo.

Amy: "I'm a parfait, which is German for perfect!"

Yes you are, Amy, yes you are.

Samey: "So what's German for bossy blonde cow?"

OOOOOOHHHH. Amy tackles her sister and they both take the Cannon of Shame. I must say, I was hoping for Samey to stay longer, but it was still shocking nonetheless. We didn't suspect Samey until the end of the challenge. Thankfully Chris will be back to normal next episode.

EPISODE RATINGS:

Plot: 10

Development: 10

Humour: 9

Challenge: 8.5

Elimination: 9

OVERALL SCORE: 10

That's right, my first 10 of the season. I loved this episode. It had a good combination of humour and development and foreshadowed a bunch of things too.