User:Rainbowderp01/One Flu Over the Cuckoos (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action... Imprisoned in a world they didn't create, forced to ingest deadly foods, and even to taste them twice. Nonetheless, the two courageous teams clawed their way to freedom! And... a lonely Chef made a new friend.

Chef: I'm gonna ride you 'til your confidence coats the back of a spoon and your self respect forms the peas! No more mama's boy, DJ.

Chris: But prison is no place for traitors. Even cool goth ones. So at the end of the day, it was "Goodbye, Gwen, hello... Izzy?" Yeah. Izzy. That girl is eight shades of nutty. Will she drive everyone else crazy too? Find out now on Total. Drama. Action!

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[ Theme song ]

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[owl hoots]

[electric fizzle]

Izzy: Ha, everything is so much smaller than I remember!

Duncan: I still can't believe Gwen made a side deal with the other team. Didn't know she had it in her.

Izzy: I remember that bush! I remember that tree! I-- oof! Heh. Oh, I remember that rock! Heh, hey rock!

Heather: Well, I can't believe they let Izzy back. They totally negated our numbers advantage. [to Duncan] And that's the only advantage we had.

Leshawna: Don't be starting something, girl.

Lindsay: [yawns] Well, goodnight everybody! Oh!

Duncan: Hey, who locked the door? [growls]

Izzy: Wait, wait, let me try it.

[smack]

[ambulance wails]

Izzy: [gasps] Cops!

[ambulance wails]

Heather: Ew, what is that? [gasps] A dead body?

Duncan: Or an undead body.

Everyone: [uneasy noises]

Chris: Boo!

Harold: [screams]

Chris: Calm yourselves. No one's dead yet. I'm here to prep you plucky ducks for our most awesome challenge yet. These textbooks hold the sum total of eight years of med school. And each one of you gets one because tomorrow, we're gonna play doctor!

Duncan: [confessional] I hate doctors. They just get off on telling people stuff that they don't wanna hear like, "Don't pick at that scab!" or "If you eat nothing but pickled eggs, you'll die." Hey, don't tell me what I can't eat. Now, playing doctor. Playing doctor I can handle.

Harold: [confessional] I could be a doctor if I wanted to. I have plenty of hands-on experience, 'cause I've contracted more than three hundred known diseases. And I've been cured of nearly all of them. But there is no known vaccine for loving Leshawna.

Chris: To win this challenge, you're gonna wanna memorize the entire contents of these textbooks. By morning.

Heather: But it's already so late!

Chris: You got that right. What med school all-nighter would be complete without pizza?

Owen: [sniffs] Mm! That smells good!

Leshawna: It's gotta be a trick.

Chris: More like method acting. Med school interns consume eight hundred fifty percent more pizza than the average human. So, dig in. 'Cause there's plenty more where that came from.

Duncan: Looks okay. Smells okay. Tastes... [gulps] Incredible!

Heather: How is that even possible?

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