User:Rainbowderp01/My Way or Zimbabwe (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... Things got heated. The Goths found the source of all the Ice Dancers' bad luck, Josee's unlucky Hawaiian lava rock. Rock was surprised when his bud Spud surprisingly rocked. And to save Noah, Emma nudged the Twins into last place and off the show. Where will we go next? And who's going to hate it the most? Find out right now on... The Ridonculous Race!

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: Welcome back to Finland's chill zone, where yesterday's triumphant winners, the Rockers, are ready to recieve today's first travel tip.

Rock: It's so heavy, man! I still can't believe it! We're in first place!

Spud: We're in first? All right, we're killing it! Woohoo!

Rock and Spud: [interview] [playing air guitar]

[buzz, ding]

Spud: "Go to Helsinki airport and catch the next flight to... Zim-babb-wee?"

Don: Located in southwestern Africa, Zimbabwe has stunning flora, exotic fauna, and majestic scenery. Once teams land, they have to drive here... to Victoria Falls, which is nearly twice the height of Niagara Falls. Hear that, North America? Your waterfalls are getting owned!

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Sanders: [whistles]

[tires screech]

MacArthur: Nice work, partner! Hustle!

Stephanie: Taxi! Taxi!

Ryan: I can do this without your help!

Stephanie: Can you, really?

Ryan: [interview] There isn't much we agree on anymore.

Stephanie: [interview] I agree with that.

Ryan: [interview] Pfft, yeah, right. You're just trying to make me look dumb.

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Don: [voiceover] All teams have hit the Don box and are at the airport waiting for their next flight.

Junior: Ow! Papercut!

Dwayne: Gee, sorry sporto, but holding on to the important stuff is a dad's job.

Junior: I can hold my own tick--

Dwayne: Hey, I know you can, I'm just not sure you should. [laughs] Now, when you're a dad, you can hold as much stuff as you want. But for now, let's go find you a bandage. And a lollipop.

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Junior: It's a papercut. I'm fine.

Dwayne: So fine, a lollipop wouldn't help? Hm?

Junior: Dad, I'm not a baby. Candy's not going to work.

Dwayne: A balloon?

Junior: Dad!

Josee: Why is this so hard for you to understand?!

Jacques: We need the next flight to Hawaii! And we only wanna be there for like ten minutes! And then we need to fly from Hawaii to Zimbabwe!

Clerk: But... it is making no sense!

Josee: Okay, fine! We making no sense. Now stuff the opinion and give us our tickets! [aside] Jacques is mad at me.

Jacques: [aside] I'd like an apology.

Josee: [aside] Why should I apologize? Obviously, I didn't know it was bad luck when I took it from the island. Ugh!

Jacques: [aside] Apology accepted.

Josee: [aside] Thank you.

Don: [voiceover] Jacques and Josee are off to Hawaii, as the other teams head for Africa. Once they land, they must drive these jeeps to their next destination.

[ding]

Carrie: There! Go, go, go!

[engine revs]

[tires screech]

Rock: "Head to Victoria Falls where the Zambezi River bordes Zambia and Zimbabwe." If we take Bozi Otunia, we'll be golden! You got it, dude! I wanna stay in first place!

Spud: We're in first place? All right, we're killin' it!

Carrie: You navigate and I'll drive. Cool?

Devin: [deepens voice] Me Devin. You Carrie. [Tarzan call]

Carrie: [giggles] So adorbs.

Devin: What?

Carrie: Uh, nothing! Uh, go us. Heh.

Carrie and Devin: Woohoo!

Dwayne: Africa. Wowzers! I've always wanted to go on a safari.

Junior: Yeah, this is seriously cool. I just wanna get up and see if--

Dwayne: Ah, ah, ah, you stay on that keister mister. Seats are for sitting.

Junior: [interview] My dad still treats me like I'm five. But I'm practically a man. Check out my chest hair.

Dwayne: [interview] Where?

Junior: [interview] Right there! I-I mean, it's blond, so, you know, it's hard to see in this light.

Dwayne: [interview] Uh huh.

Junior: [interview] It's there, trust me!

Dwayne: [interview] [chuckles] Kids.

Junior: [interview] I am not a kid!

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[tires squealing]

MacArthur: Why aren't you two making out anymore, huh? Got tired of the... [kissing noises]

Sanders: Okay, that's really distracting. Just sit there and navigate.

MacArthur: It's a little something I like to call strategy. [interview] We studied human behavior at the academy, so I know how much stress a person can take before they lose it. And these two are close. Really close. One more little shove and it's welcome to crazy town!

Stephanie: Would you pass them already?!

Ryan: She keeps blocking me, what do you want me to do? Run them off the road?!

Stephanie: Yes! [growls]

Ryan: [growls]

Stephanie: Ugh! Fine! There's a shortcut.

Ryan: What shortcut? There's no road!

Stephanie: So what? Take off your chicken hat and drive!

Ryan: Chickens don't wear hats!

Stephanie: Ugh! I'm calling you a coward!

Ryan: Well, I'm calling you a wackjob!

Ryan and Stephanie: [scream]

Ryan: Ah! [screaming]

Sanders: Whoa!

MacArthur: I didn't get an A in Psych for nothing.

Stephanie: [interview] You drive like a chicken-headed little girl. [imitates chicken]

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Rock: There he is!

[horn honking]

Rock: [screams]

Ryan: [screams]

Stephanie: Stop!

[tires squeal]

Rock: Ah! Ah!

Ryan: Uh... hey guys. H-How's it going?

Spud: [screams]

Rock: [interview] Spud! Your reaction time is improving.

[elevator music]

Rock: [interview] [sips]

Spud: [interview] Thanks, man.

Stephanie: Is anybody else here yet?

Rock: No, we got here first.

Spud: We're in first place?

Rock: Yes. Yes, yes, yes!

[buzz, ding]

Stephanie: You were in first place. Told you my shortcut would--

Ryan: Almost kill us? Yes. Yes, it did.

[buzz, ding]

Rock: We're going on a selfie safari!

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Don: For this All In challenge, teams must take the waterproof cameras in their glove compartments, then get into a raft and ride over the Falls while taking an epic selfie-- [screams] Miss the shot and it's a long climb back to try again.

Brody: "Then float down river to Zambezi National Park, home of the elusive white rhino..."

Sanders: "...where you'll take a picture with the rhino."

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Don: Once teams have their selfies, it's a footrace here to the carpet of completion where I'll inspect their photos. The last team to arrive may be headed home.

[water rushing]

Rockers, Haters, Surfers, and Cadets: [gasp]

Geoff: Whoa.

Brody: Wicked.

Junior: Cool!