User:Rainbowderp01/Get a Clue (Transcript)

Chris: Once upon a time on Total Drama Action... there was a princess trapped in a tower. Well okay, Courtney got stashed in some tower set for a couple of hours. But still, a bunch of knights went to rescue her. Along the way, some were lost, dreams were crushed, and a prince prevailed. But, it was no fairy tale ending for Princess Courtney and Prince Justin. Girl just won't stop winning. And so, Prince Justin got the boot. And the rest of them lived happily ever after. Not! Come on, this is Total Drama Action! Forget happily! We've got fights, danger, maiming! This time, there might even be murder! So keep your eyes glued right here for another homicidal episode of Total. Drama. Action!

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[ Theme song ]

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Harold: Breakfast taco? Is that all Chef knows how to make now? Mexican-themed breakfast foods? [crunch]

Lindsay: Ew. Was that an eggshell?

Harold: Chef is the only cook who makes eggs like peanut butter. Smooth or crunchy style. [chomp] Huh?

Duncan: Maybe Chef finally ran out of stuff to put in the eggs, all he's got left is computer hardware.

Lindsay: What if there's something on it? Something all challenge-y?

Beth: Only one way to find out. Stick it in Courtney's PDA.

Courtney: My PDA isn't going anywhere near that goober-coated thing. Hey!

Duncan: I thought you wanted to win this.

Courtney: [sighs] Do what you have to do.

[beep]

Chris: [on screen] I hope you all had a filling breakfast. It was so delish. I was practically on cloud nine. I could've had a dozen of them. Ha ha. But enough about breakfast. It's time to eighty-six this combination. Uh, I mean, conversation.

Beth: So weird. I think maybe Chris needs a vacation.

Chris: [on screen] Right now, I'm going to relax in a nice safe and secure place. And get ready for today's challenge. You're probably wondering what the challenge is. It will remain a mystery until you find me. Hopefully, you'll clue in and track me down. But in the meantime, I'm going to crack open a soda and relax. See ya.

[pop]

Duncan: Unless there's a killer reward, I'm not gonna bother finding Chris. I could use a day off from that wiener.

Harold: I'm with Duncan. Let Chris wait for us.

Lindsay: Yeah, but maybe if we find Chris, he'll have some kind of surprise! Who doesn't love surprises? I think he was giving us hints. He said he was on cloud nine. That's like, heaven, which means he's not alive anymore. What do you do with dead people? You bury them. So, maybe he's buried underground. Maybe we should dig and see if we find him.

Duncan: Um, we could. The only problem is that makes zero sense.

Lindsay: [confessional] No one ever listens to me anymore since Courtney got here. What's so weird about Chris being buried alive?

Courtney: Oh, it's so obvious. Chris said he was feeling safe and secure. Get it? Safe? Chris said that he was going to crack open a soda. You crack a safe. Now you get it?

Lindsay: No, still nothing.

Courtney: He's clearly in the bank vault set from the bank heist challenge! Duh.

Duncan: Nice.

Courtney: Go figure. I've got a brain.

Lindsay: Hey! I was the one who said Chris was giving clues!

Beth: You did, sweetie.

Lindsay: Grr...

Beth: [confessional] I felt really bad for Lindsay, but that was some really good thinking on Courtney's part. Safe and secure? Genius!

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Duncan: So, what's the plan, Heistmeister?

Courtney: Try cleaning out your ears and listening for a change? Chris said the combination. Right after he talked about cloud nine. And he could've had a dozen breakfast burritos? And then he said eighty-six!

[creak]

Courtney: What's my prize?

Chris: [cockney accent] Hmm. I hardly recall having mentioned any sort of prize. [coughs] [normal voice] But thanks for releasing me. It was getting stuffy in there.

Courtney: You're not smoking?!

Chris: What? Oh no, of course not. [chomp]

Courtney: Ew.

Chris: What? It's chewing tobacco.

Harold, Beth, and Lindsay: Ew!

Chris: Nah, just kidding. It's black licorice.

All: Ew!

Chris: Yeah, you're right. [spits] That stuff's disgusting. Now it's time for mystery movie day! I've got a challenge for each of you. Tonight, you're to meet me at the train station set.

Harold: I have a train set in my garage at home! It runs on solar power.

Chris: Fascinating. But first, I'll require full fingerprints and DNA samples from each competitor.

Duncan: [confessional] All you have to do is go to the provincial police headquarters. You can get all my info there.

Chris: So, each of the competitors has to gather the evidence from any one of the other competitors. Which means, it's in your interest to prevent the other guy from getting your deets. Now go pack an overnight bag and get me my clues.

Courtney: I am going to get a prize. I promise you that.

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Lindsay: I still think I should get credit for coming up with the idea to look for clues.

Courtney: [scoffs] If we listened to you, we'd still be digging under the cafeteria with teaspoons.

Lindsay: Not nice.

Beth: Look, guys. It doesn't matter in the big picture who did what. As long as we all have fun.

Courtney: Lindsay. I really respect you. I was only acting like that out of jealousy. I would sincerely like us to be friends. Let me make it up to you. Can I treat you to a spa session?

Lindsay: Ooh, spas are my very favorite!

Courtney: [confessional] Man, I am good!

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Lindsay: [laughs] Oh, that tickles. Ha ha. I've never had a manicure done on the bottom of my fingers.

Courtney: Oh, it's all the rage in France.

Lindsay: Ooh, I love being trendy. Ah! [gasps]

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[clank]

[zoom]

[snap]

[whsitle]

[clunk]

Harold: Oof! Ah!

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]shower running]

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Beth: My retainer!

Lindsay: I...

Beth: [confessional] Okay, so I felt a little guilty about taking advantage of Li-- ooh! Ow!

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Duncan: Uh, didn't you already get a set of prints from Lindsay?

Courtney: Yeah, but it was much fun. I couldn't help myself.

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