User:Rainbowderp01/Three Zones and A Baby (Transcript)

Chris: Last time on Total Drama... the players had a ball, that quickly rolled into a pit that everyone hd to escape. Dave tried to kiss Sky. A lot. Then he made out with a bat. Sugar found a way to shed a little light on things, while Max and Scarlett found more than they should've. And Team Maskwak showed us how not to win a challenge in the most disgust-urbingly hilarious way ever! No one went home, but I busted out a little McLean evil and made Max and Sky switch teams. But this is today. And someone will blast away. So hip hip hooray, for Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!

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[ Theme song ]

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Sky: [gasps]

Scarlett: Your stage two sleep spindles were low frequency followed by an intense delta or slow-wave. You slept well.

Jasmine: Scarlett's all right. A little weird, but harmless. Fruit?

Sky: Thanks. [sighs]

Jasmine: Fruit makes you sad?

Sky: No, it's just... I got used to having breakfast with Dave every morning. We're just friends, but I'm still gonna miss him--

Jasmine: No. No, no! You can't have feelings for the enemy. I used to have a thing for Shawn, but--

Sky: Shawn?

Jasmine: Yes?

Sky: Okay.

Jasmine: But I ended it. The only person you can count on is you. And me, while we're on the same team, but no one else. Deal?

Sky: You're right. And don't worry. I'm a team player. You got a deal!

Shawn: That could've been a double date high five! Me and Jasmine, Dave and Sky. I mean, who knows? [sighs] She totally hates me right now. I gotta win her back!

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Sugar: [laughing hysterically]

Max: Silence, you braying imbecile! Confound these wretched sleeping quarters, Ugh! Evil needs a chiropractor.

Sugar: Say "evil" again. Turn your ears on, everybody! He's gonna say it!

Max: I do not take orders from talking animals. I give them, and they are evil!

Sugar: [laughing hysterically] [confessional] That Max is funnier than a junebug caught in my granny's wig. "Evil!" [laughing hysterically] [real time] [continues laughing]

Dave: [sighs]

Sugar: Huh? Hey, why so glum?

Dave: Hm.

Sugar: Is it 'cause you thought you and Sky were the perfect couple, and now that she's switched teams, you know there's little to no hope of you two ever ever ever getting back together?

Dave: Yeah...

Sugar: Cheer up, Saddy! We got a real live genius head on our team now! Let's not mess this up like we did with the wizard.

Dave: [sighs] Ah! A little warning would be nice.

Shawn: The zombs give no warning. Get your head on straight or they'll open it up like a yogurt container. Tree bark sharesies?

Dave: Nah. I'll just uh, starve.

Shawn: Don't be down. Sky and Jasmine are on the same team. It'll be twenty-four seven girl talk over there and they'll come back to us in no time!

Dave: Hey! Maybe you're right!

[crunch]

[airhorn blares]

Chris: [over loudspeaker] Attention, my soon-to-be victims! Your fate awaits at the grand clearing. Last on there eats a rotten egg!

Sugar: Free hillbilly brekky!

Dave: He said the last one! Ugh. Forget it.

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Topher: Last one there eats a rotten egg! See? Sounds better with a more youthful inflection. Agree or strongly agree? [grunts] [groans] [confessional] Been using old man Chris' cell to leave messages with the network about going with a younger host, i.e., me. Still haven't heard back. Might be time to step it up.

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[fanfare]

Topher: [panting]

Chris: And Topher arrives last, so he gets to eat the rotten egg.

Topher: Aw, man! For real?

Chris: Lucky for you, it's already in Sugar's stomach.

Sugar: Smell what you missed, sucker! [burp]

Jasmine: [blows]

[thud]

Sky: [gasps] Dave!

Jasmine: Don't! He's the enemy and he'll turn on you the first chance he gets!

Chris: Listen up, campers! Today's challenge is called Hush or Die. The teams have to race through three separate and unique danger zones. Three zones have one thing in common though. The noisier you are, the greater the danger becomes. Area One is called the Lion's Lunch. You gotta sneak through a field of sleeping lions. Wake one up, and you're lunch. Ha.

Shawn: But they're sleeping, so--

Chris: Oh, and there are rattlesnakes too.

[snake hisses]

Shawn: Oh. That's bad.

Jasmine: Um, a rattlesnake's poison is kinda... deadly.

Chris: The venom in our snakes has been slightly deluted. So, you'll only feel like you're gonna die. If you make it out of that zone alive, maybe you'll die in Area Two. The Pasta Blaster! Make a noise in Zone Two, blindfolded Chef will blast ya with pasta.

[bird chirps]

[splat]

Shawn: Ha! Noodles can't kill anyone!

Chris: True. Unless the burning hot noodles cause you to scream and wake up the carnivorous Pasta Bear, forcing your team to untangle you before you're eaten alive.

Shawn: Well, yeah, that could kill someone.

Chris: The last phase of the challenge is crossing the avalanche zone!

Topher: You kinda ran out of creative steam coming up with the name for that one, huh? Old age will do that to you.

Chris: Chef, give me a shot, ten o'clock, seventy degrees high, please.

[boom]

Topher: Ah! Ah, ow! Not the hair! [groans] Uh, I mean, ha! These little games might be challenging for old people, but not us. You really need to start thinking younger, Chris.

Chris: Hm, Topher makes a good point. You're all so young an agile. I should step it up. So now, everyone will have to carry a special something through the entire challenge. It'll make it way harder. Everyone say "Thanks, Topher!"

All but Topher: Thanks, Topher!

Chris: Okay, realease the babies!