User:Rainbowderp01/Hawaiian Honeyruin (Transcript)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race... our teams payed a visit to Count Dracula's creepy crib, and it terrified everyone. Almost. Oh yes, the Goths cracked their first smiles, but other teams cracked under the pressure. The Ice Dancers grabbed first place, and I think Emma unknowingly caught Noah's heart. Sadly, Tom and Jen had creative differences, and by the time they ironed them out, it was too late. Who will fez their way off this week? Hold on to your hats. It's time for... The Ridonculous Race.

[ding]

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[ Theme song ]

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Don: We're back in Transylvani, where yesterday's first place team is about to get today's first travel tip.

[buzz, ding]

Josee: "Take a donkey cart to Bucharest and fly to... Hawaii!"

Don: Hawaii, home of beautiful sunshine, ukeleles, and shirts that should only be worn ironically. Once teams land, they'll need to find this Don box. Ha ha ha, very funny. Was that you, wardrobe?

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Owen: Oh, oh, I'm good at this game! Uh, um, goalpost! No! Uh... rectangle face? Um, a box of candy!

[smack]

Josee: [interview] Playing is for children. We stay focused on our goals at all times.

Jacques: [interview] I'm so focused, I haven't washed my boxers since the race started.

Josee: [interview] That's not focused. That's gross.

Jacques: [interview] Well, maybe some people think your lucky rabbit's foot is gross. Eh?

Josee: [interview] Don't listen to him, Bun Bun. [kiss]

Owen: Cheesecake?

Kitty: Click.

Owen: Oh! Exploding chocolate cheesecake!

Emma: Camera! It's camera! She said "click", how did you not get that? [echo] Did you hear that?

[loving music]

Emma: Ugh! How do you put up with this all day long? Um... what's his problem? Hey, earth to weirdo. Hello? Hello? Ugh.

[music ends]

Owen: You okay, buddy?

Noah: My stomach feels funny.

Owen: [whispers] Do you have to make boom-boom? Ow!

[rumbling]

]dramatic sting]

Chet: Ugh! This donkey reeks.

Lorenzo: He said the same thing about you.

Chet: Pfft, a talking donkey? Yeah, 'cause that's possible.

Lorenzo: It must be possible. 'Cause you're talking right now. Booyah! Callmewhen you got a comeback.

Chet: Lorenzo is a poohead!

Lorenzo: Oh yeah? Chet's a tool stool!

Junior: How old are those two?

Dwayne: Ah, never mind them. Some people just don't appreciate quality family time, eh, right, sporto?

Junior: Uh, yeah, mm, sure, dad.

Taylor: You're so lucky you got to bring your dad.

Dwayne: Oh, I'm the lucky one. I bet doing this trip with your mom is pretty awesome too though, right?

Taylor: Not really.

Kelly: Taylor's more of a... daddy's girl.

Taylor: Daddy and I have loads in common. Like, we both love being successful. And we both hate avocado.

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[donkey brays]

[fart]

Surfer Dudes, Rock, and MacArthur: [laughing]

Brody: From Transylvania to Hawaii? Man, this race is epic!

MacArthur: Ha ha! Whoo, donkey! Right back at ya! [farts] [aside] I can't back down from a good fart down! Personal pride. Oh, oh, hang on. We got some gale force winds moving in to the area.

Sanders: [aside] And uh, I'm out.

MacArthur: [aside] Oh, where you going? You're gonna miss the... ah, you're gonna miss the show! [fart] Uh-oh. I've got a code six. Officer needs TP.

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Devin: [snoring]

Ennui and Crimson: [sigh]

Ennui: [interview] Leaving Romania is tough. But leaving Romania to go to a tropical paradise full of sunshine and happiness?

Ennui and Crimson: [interview] [sigh]

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Stephanie: I need a whip, do you have a whip?

Ryan: Uh, not last time I looked.

Stephanie: Open your eyes! Our donkey is going way slower than the other ones. It wants us to lose! [interview] I'm not too competitive.

Ryan: [interview] [coughs] Yesyouare.

Stephanie: [interview] Are you okay, sugarplum? I just wanna win. And this is a competition. So yeah, when things get tense, we can't hold back! We gotta dig deep, work hard, give it everything!

Ryan: I don't think the donkey really cares if--

Stephanie: Move it, you horse wannabe! You know how important this is?! We are not coming in last place because of you! Mush! Mush! [aside] We were so stressed out. But then it didn't even matter, because all the teams are on the same flight.

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[tires screech]

Don: [voiceover] As is the custom in Hawaii, teams are greeted with a lovely necklace made of local flowers.

Jay: Oh, wow, hi. Those aren't... orchids! [screams]

Jay: Ah!

Mickey: No!

Jay: [sneezes]

Mickey: [aside] Oh boy, oh boy, they sure like their traditions around here.

Jay: [aside] I'm severely allergic to orchids. [sneezes]

[ding]

Noah and Owen: Oof!

Emma: Ugh! This one's ours! You might as well give up now.

Owen: Uh-oh. Prepare to get Noah'd.

[loving music]

Owen: Uh, any second now. He's just thinking and then, bam! Huh? Noah?

[buzz, ding]

Kitty: It's a Botch or Watch. "Whoever didn't do gymnastics in Romania has to go diving for wedding rings."?

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Don: In this challenge, Botchers must dive into Hawaii's most popular wedding bay and retrieve one of the rings from the bottom.

[ding]

Owen: "Then swim to the beach at the tip of the bay to meet your partner."

Kitty: Come on!

[loving music]

Owen: Noah, let's go! Noah? Oh, maybe it's rabies.

[ding]

Josee: Something doesn't feel right. [gasps] Oh no! Bun-Bun! Where's Bun-Bun?!

Jacques: It's okay. We don't need a rabbit's foot. Like you said about my underpants, it's just a silly superstition.

Josee: Okay, take off your lucky gitch then. That's what I thought!

[splash]

[whoosh, splat]

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Emma: You can do it, Kit!

Kitty: It looks pretty deep.

Emma: Pretend it's the pool at Nana's condo. Only with less old people floating around. Ready? Go!

Kitty: Ah!

[splash]

Kitty: [spits] You shoved me!

Emma: It was a push of encouragement! And you're fine, now go get a ring!

Carrie: Heh, for luck. [giggles]

Devin: You're gonna rock this!

[crack]

Surfer Dudes and Police Cadets: Oh...

MacArthur: Cannonball?