User:Rainbowderp01/TDWT Aftermath I: Bridgette Over Troubled Water (Transcript)

[Aftermath theme]

Harold: It was I who brought dishonor to our team. Only one thing can restore the balance. [grunting] [speaking Japanese] Leshawna... I think I will miss you most of all.

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Bridgette: I h-have a boyfriend.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Bridgette: I kinda... I have a kind of a boyfriend. Kinda.

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[ Theme song ]

_______________________________________________________________________________________

[Aftermath theme]

[audience applauds]

Geoff: Who's ready for some totally dramatic aftermath? I'm Geoff.

Blaineley: And I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran. I'm sure you recognize me from such entertaining programs as Celebrity Manhunt!

Geoff: But... today, we're here to talk about Total Drama World Tour!

Blaineley: We've got the juiciest dirt and the dirtiest juice. Everything you've ever wanted to hear dished about season three.

Geoff: Plus special guests and wicked surprises. But first, let's introduce my friends.

Blaineley: You mean the other sad bystanders who can't even play this season?

Geoff: Easy. Please welcome the Total Drama Peanut Gallery, Eva, Sadie and Katie, Trent, Justin, and Beth!

Blaineley: So... how does everybody feel about the fact that it's Geoff's fault you're all out of the game?

Geoff: [gasps] Hey! I tried to organize us into a rescue party for the Bus of Doom.

Blaineley: And now your rescue party has to sit and watch everyone else play for a million.

Geoff: I threw a great consolation party. With a piñata.

Trent: Yeah, that was my guitar. I kept telling you.

Justin: Being on that show is way too tough on the bod.

Eva: And I don't need a million dollars. Got it?

Blaineley: But what about the free trip around the world?

Beth: With Chris and Chef torturing us? No thank you.

Blaineley: But what about watching all your old friends hang out without you?

Sadie: We have each other.

Trent: [coughs]

Blaineley: Guess they're just being honest. But what about you? Any regrets?

Geoff: Pff. You kidding? I'd way rather host this Aftermath than suffer through more drama.

Blaineley: Care to prove it with a game of Truth or Hammer?

[audience cheers]

Geoff: Sure. Uh, why not? Couldn't be happier. Whoa! Hey.

Blaineley: Nice moves, Geoff. Almost nicer than the moves Alejandro made on Bridgette.

Geoff: Happy, happy, happy! Happy hap-- ah! Ahh! Ahhh!

[crashing]

Geoff: Look at the time, game over. Ha! We better get on to our first segment, huh? We'll be spending time with everyone who's left the show since the season began.

Blaineley: Everyone we could find, at least. Because two ex-contestants have gone AWOL, which leads us to our new segment, as designed by moi.

Geoff: Total. Drama. Fugitives! After refusing to sing, Duncan was the first contestant in Total Drama history to quit.

Trent: Only Duncan would throw away a chance at a million. Idiot.

Blaineley: But what's weird is... Duncan didn't come home.

Geoff: He was last seen hanging from a arch-fruited bush willow in Africa. But since then, nothing. Duncan's totally disappeared.

Blaineley: So we spread the word and our viewers responded like never before! With some seriously incredible sightings and photos.

Geoff: Let's have a look at some videos captured by Hamish McTavish from Loch Ness.

Blaineley: Real sighting? Or fake?

Geoff: Total f--

Blaineley: We sent a roving reporter to interview our eyewitness. Roll it!

[static]

Eva: So, you gotta tell me what you saw.

Hamish: [unintelligible gibberish]

Eva: What are you saying?! Ah, forget this!

Hamish: [groans]

[static]

Geoff: The sighting was clearly a massive fake.

Blaineley: Fine, don't believe. But just days later, we had another sighting from Trollhättan, Sweden.

[static]

[bleeping]

[audience laughs]

Blaineley: What about that one? Real? Fake?

Geoff: Tough to tell. There wasn't a single non-swear in there that we could play.

Blaineley: But it really bleeped like Duncan. Who can fake that level of profanity?

Geoff: The question remains. Where is Duncan now?

Blaineley: Nobody can find him! Not even everyone's fav host, Chris McLean.

Beth: Chris is looking for Duncan?

Blaineley: Chris has the entire Total Drama Machine looking for Duncan.

Total Drama Machine: Duncan. Duncan.

[crash]

[girl screams]

Blaineley: So keep those Duncan sightings coming. He can't hide from us forever.

Geoff: Also acting camera shy, everyone's favorite home school kid.

Blaineley: Camera shy? So not cool, Ezekiel.

Justin: You just said "Ezekiel" and "cool" in the same sentence. Ha ha, hilarious.

Geoff: No dude, this is kinda cool. And by cool, I mean mega creepy.

Blaineley: That's right, Geoff. Because even after Ezekiel took the early Drop of Shame, our cameras captured this footage.

[static]

Owen: [snoring] [gasps]

[thunder crack]

[static]

[splash]

[audience gasps]

Blaineley: What do you think? Real or fake?

Katie: Ghost!

Sadie: [screams]

Blaineley: So, the manhunt was great, Geoff. But you know who I'm really excited to spend time with?

Geoff: Today's Aftermath guest, Harold!

Blaineley: You're half right. I'm talking about our other guest.

Geoff: Oh, we have another guest?

Blaineley: Yes. You know that girl. Surfer, vegetarian, blonde.

Geoff: Oh. Yeah. Who was that again?

Beth: Bridgette, your girlfriend! The one who made out on TV with Alejandro and then kissed a pole! 'Member?

Blaineley: That's right. Please welcome our soulful surfer, who's unfortunate habit of kissing really cute dude--

Geoff: It's Harold! Come on out, Harold!

Harold: But I'm no surfer! Unless you count the net. Plus, I've never kissed any dudes.

Geoff: Welcome to the show, Harold, who is our first guest. Please. Sit.

Harold: [grunts]

Blaineley: Oh!

Geoff: It's time for your journey video.

Blaineley: Fine. I can wait.

Harold: Let's take a look at the dramatic events that brought Harold to this moment.

[static]

Harold: Awesome.

Harold: Sweet.

Harold: Lame.

Harold: B-B-B-B-Bogus!

Harold: Cool.

Harold: Help! Gosh!