Her Real Name Isn't Blaineley is the the twenty-first song featured in Total Drama World Tour. It is sung in "Aftermath Aftermayhem" by Geoff, with Blaineley's entourage as backup singers, in an attempt to list all the bad things about Blaineley as revenge. Geoff is provoked into singing the song when Blaineley angered him by sending Bridgette to Siberia against her will, when the original plan was for Blaineley to go there herself. The song is requested by one of Blaineley's biggest fans.


Geoff: Here's an open letter to a treasure of a girl!
Blaineley: That's me!
Geoff: Whose behavior on this show always makes me hurl!
Blaineley: What?!
Geoff: She's a nasty, fake blonde schemer, who calls herself "your HOST"! Without the help of her entourage, her job would be toast!
Entourage: Hey!
Blaineley: Hey! (slowly) Heeeyyy.....
Geoff: She'll tell you that she loves your shirt, but it's something she can't stand! She's just so full of you-know-what, she has to double-flush the can!
Entourage: Hey!
Blaineley: I eat a lot of fiber!
Geoff: She bought two pairs of the same jeans, one size four, and one size eight! So when she wears the bigger ones, you'll ask if she's lost weight!
Entourage: Hey!
Geoff: She's not the gal you think she is, so let me tell you plainly. There's thick black hair between her toes, and her real name isn't Blaineley!
Entourage: Hey!
Geoff: She's a phony, scheming, weasel-nose! And her real name isn't Blaineley! She steals and lies, and she's evil, bros, and her real name isn't Blaineley! It's Mildred!
Entourage: Hey!






  • In this song, Geoff performs a Ukrainian folk dance known as the Kozachok, despite the fact that the tune of the song and balalaika are Russian. However, it should be noted that Ukraine borders Russia and has a very similar culture.
  • The phrase that Geoff says during the song, "She's just so full of you-know-what, she has to double flush the can," is a euphemism for a foul language expression.
  • At the end of the song, Eva and Gwen appear to be sitting with DJ, Katie, and Sadie. However when Geoff is singing about DJ's shirt, Eva and Gwen appear to be missing.
  • Before Geoff shows the audience the hair between Blaineley's toes, she has her shoes off, but at the end of the song, her shoes are back on.


See also

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